For about a week, nothing special happened between Meg and Michael. Well, Michael would come around for dinner and spend time with Meg. Then today was the day when Michael would graduate from Quahog Medical University and start working at the hospital for real. Since his parents couldn't even find time to go on that day, he invited Meg especially. And little did he know that someone uninvited went there – that would be me! Ha ha ha!
So I went and disguised myself as a janitor. I had the uniform and the cleaning trolley, but I didn't clean anything, not even wipe my own ass in the bathroom. I just stood there and watched Meg and the crowd cheering Michael and the other medical students getting their diplomas and becoming certified doctors.
Then the boss of the University came to me. "Just my luck!" he shouted. "That actor has just cancelled five minutes before he was due!"
"Which actor is that?" I asked.
"Hugh Laurie from House," the boss answered. "You watch House, don't you?"
"Oh, yeah!" I exclaimed.
"Right, come with me," smiled the boss and I followed him to backstage. He dressed me up in a doctor's uniform and then I hid behind the curtain as he went out.
"Now, ladies and gentlemen," he said through the microphone, "in honour of your achievements, I present to you House!
As the curtain opened, they saw nothing, but a small wooden house. Then it fell down on top of me! "Oh, boy, the Pig who made his house out of sticks, must have more wind than the Big Bad Wolf, eh?"
No one laughed, but Meg and Michael decided to get out of the building. I tried slipping on a banana, dance with a skeleton like Fred and Ginger and squeeze milk out of my nipples into empty milk bottles and all that stuff Hugh Laurie did with Stephen Fry. But no one was laughing and they left the room in seconds. I don't understand it! I was doing what I was suppose do and the room was empty and the boss was kicking the props on the set!
"What did I do wrong?" I asked.
"You were supposed to act House, not Patch Adams!" he screamed. Then he got out a giant hat and pushed me in. Then he waved his wand and the next thing I knew I was outside the university in the pouring rain! I ran to the door, but it was locked. Then I peeked through the window and found the students celebrating with a glass of wine, but neither Michael nor Meg was in there.
Then I heard a disco playing on the other side of the road. I ran across the street and saw out through the window Meg and Michael enjoying their meal. I couldn't see what they were eating, but despite the rain, I could see Meg giving Michael a graduation present: the Complete Call of Duty Series on XBOX 360. He hugged her for that. Then they went on the dance floor and starting dancing. Meg knew she saw me for the first time in this business so I decided to go back home. So far the easiest so far, but the next one will be harder than trying build the Egyptian Pyramids. I'll let you imagine what my show would have showed you.
