Taming The Loner
Chapter 4
Harry, Ron and Hermione sat at the Gryffindor table waiting for dinner to start. It was Friday evening and after dinner they would have to make their way down to Snapes dungeons for their first of many detentions that wouldn't let up until this time tomorrow. In the time that had elapsed since their interesting conversation with the four heads of house at their "secret" spot, the rumor that Snape was gay had circled the school twice over. It was not entirely certain how this rumor was started, but Harry and Hermione speculated that Ron had something to do with it. Hermione tried to convince her fellow students that is was just a rumor but, when Snape stepped out earlier that day in class and Ron, Dean and Seamus took it upon themselves to look in Snapes desk drawer and found not one but two Playgirl Magazines, even Hermione was skeptical that it was simply a rumor.
Ron and Hermione looked rather miserable in correlation with the night they had to look forward to, but Harry was not for unknowingly to Ron and Hermione, he had come up with a plan for tonight's detention. He was about to tell them of this plan when Dumbledore stood up and gestured for silence.
"Well students," said Dumbledore, "It's Friday and I have a few announcements that I need to make in correspondence with the week and the oncoming weekend. First of all I caution you to beware this weekend of the vicious thread of genital herpes that is making its way throughout the school. Those of you who have had sexual relations with Lavender Brown are urged to report to the hospital wing immediately or face having you balls cut off unless of course you are a lesbian in which case we will scoop out your ovaries."
At this announcement everyone looked thoroughly disgusted and everyone sitting near Lavender scootched away quickly.
"Second Professor McGonagall has requested that I ask you to answer, by raise of hands, how many of you know where the four Heads of House's secret spot is?"
"God Damn it!" said Professor McGonagall as more than half the student body raised their hands.
"I told you it wasn't secret!" yelled Ron.
"I'll kill you Weasley!" screamed Flitwick, "I'll kill you in your sleep tonight!"
"Alrighty then," said Dumbledore, "And my third and final announcement is that no matter how it may seem, Professor Snape wishes me to tell all of you that he is in fact not gay."
"Bull crap!"
"Minerva! I can understand how you feel, but we need to allow Severus to come out on his own when he is ready."
"I'M NOT GAY!!!" screamed Snape in response to Dumbledore.
"Of course not my boy, but when you come out you will be."
"How can I come out when I wasn't even in to begin with?!?!"
"Oh come on professor!" yelled a student, "We've all seen the Playgirls in you desk drawer!"
"WHY HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING IN MY DESK DRAWER?!?!"
"Now Severus there's no need to yell," said Dumbledore.
"IVE HAD EBOUGH OF THIS! I AM SO TOTALLY OUT OF HERE!"
And with that Snape began to stalk out of the Great Hall with his hair and robes flowing behind him making him look, dare we say it, incredibly gay. Just as he passed Harry Ron and Hermione, he stopped. Tuned, and walked back tward them, pointing his finger at Harry and Ron.
"I know one of you two who told everyone! Hermione would never, and you two were the only other students there last night!"
"Eww Professor that sounds wrong!" said Ron.
"I'm talking about the conversation with the other three Heads of House and your two friends Weasley!"
"I know but it still sounds wrong, especially with your kind of status!"
"You three have detention tonight, don't be late!"
"Why professor? Eager to spend the night with Harry and me? I don't quite get why you had Hermione come along but is having people watch is your fancy-"
"You suck Weasley!" said Snape and he turned around and began walking briskly out of the great hall all eys following him in the process.
"You wish I did!" Ron called after him.
"Well," said Dumbledore "let's eat then."
"You're such a jerk Ron!" said Hermione
"Yeah he is, but that was still pretty damn funny," said Seamus.
One hour later!
"Snape's going to be in a right foul mood." said Ron as he Harry and Hermione made their way down to Snape's dungeons.
"Gee I wonder why!" said Hermione, "We're going to be scrubbing cauldrons until dawn!"
"Maybe us but not you!"
"What are you talking about?"
"Well you're just about his girlfriend now aren't you?"
"What makes you think that?"
"Well he used your first name didn't he?"
"What? When?"
"When he was accusing Harry and me of telling everyone he's gay!"
"Really? I didn't even notice. Well I doubt it matters we'll still be in there forever I'm sure."
"That may be," said Harry as he began opening his bag, "but I've got a plan and if we use my recourses right, I think we can at least get Snape drunk." Then he pulled out of his bag two bottles of…
"Captain Morgan!!!!!!" squealed Hermione at the sight of Harry's "Recourses."
"Captain what?" asked Ron
"Captain Morgan. It's a muggle drink. I always hated firewisky, but rum I like
"Well how are we going to get the greasy gay git to drink it?"
"I'm still working on it but I think I've got an idea, just, if I pull out the rum, follow my lead."
They had reached the door to Snapes dungeons and Hermione knocked three times.
"Enter," they heard Snape say sternly from behind the door.
The three of them entered and found Snape greatly imersed in grading papers. He continued for a moment, looked up, and said, "Miss Granger, you will be organizing the schools disciplinary files seeing as Filch seems impossible to do so. Potter you first go and reorganize the ingredient shelves and restock those that need restocking. If you finish before Miss Granger you will go over and help her until you are done. Weasley you get to go and scrub all the cauldrons without magic. When you are done you will go and help Miss Granger as well unless she has already finished the deed. After this you three may go."
Harry Ron and Hermione looked at one another questioningly. It was unusual for Snape to give so little work, especially on a Friday night, with the exception of Ron of course. Hermione was most surprised as he had given her a task she could complete in nearly an hour.
Only one hour into detention and Harry and Hermione were almost finished, Ron was over halfway done as well and Harry decided he had better act now.
"Professor, do you mind if we have a little drink? Hermione and I are really thirsty and I'm sure Ron is too."
Snape looked up for a second and said, "Fine just don't spill anywhere."
Harry opened the Captain Morgan and He and Hermione each took a sip. Then Harry got up and passed it to Ron making sure it was right in front of Snapes face in a way so that he could not possibly miss it .Snape looked at them questioningly.
"What the hell are you drinking?" he asked crossly.
"Captain Morgan sir," replied Harry, "You know, everyone got to have a little captain in them. So what do you think Ron?"
"Wow Harry!" said Ron, "This stuff is amazing! It goes down so smooth, you don't even have to add it to anything!"
"Yeah I know. Hey Professor, want some?"
"No."
This was ok; Harry hadn't planned on him saying yes the first time.
"Hey Harry, pass some over here will you?" said Hermione. "This stuff is great you know, after a long day listening to a bunch of Idiots talk all day. It really helps to just unwind, you know what I mean Professor?"
Snapes jaw gave a nervous twitch which gave them a clue that this was working.
"You know its really relaxing to just sit back and have a few glasses," said Harry taking another gulp. He was getting a little buzzed. "Especially after a Day of Lessons with Neville, am I right Professor? Sure you don't want a glass, its pretty damn good."
"N-No," said Snape weakly trying harder to concentrate on his grading.
"It takes you to another world," said Ron, "Like mushrooms only cheaper, and legal. It allows you to let loose and party. Do you like to let loose and party, Professor Snape?"
"I- no."
"I just feel so awesome right now," said Hermione, "Don't you Harry?"
"Yeah."
"What about you Ron?"
"Hell Yeah!"
"What about you Professor Snape, do you feel awesome right now?"
"No."
"Do you want to feel awesome?"
"No. Yes."
"Well you know what you have to do to feel awesome like us, don't you?"
"Yes."
"So then Professor, would you like a drink?" Hermione held out a class of rum to Snape.
Slowly, Snape looked up and took the glass from her hand.
"Yes," He said and he drank the whole think in one gulp.
