Yo, here is the next chapter (I forgot which chapter...I think it's..four? Maybe? Five?) in my story. Enjoy. Bold: page 486 New Moon. I don't own it nor do I take credit for it.

"Shh, Bella, shh," Edward said as he pulled me to the sofa farthest away from the curious human at the desk.

"I think she's having hysterics. Maybe you should slap her," Alice suggested. Edward looked at her in shock.

"I can't slap her! She's my girlfriend and I won't to see live once when she realizes that I slapped her! Boyfriends aren't supposed to do that! You slap her!" Alice stared at me for a moment, then apparently came to a decision and shook her head.

"I can't slap her either, but we have to do something!" Edward glared at her, absently stroking my hair.

"Why can't you slap her?" Alice huffed.

"Trust me, I want to slap her, sooo bad. She is so annoying! I mean that whole 'I-love-my-boyfriend-but-he-left-so-I'm-gonna-become-friends-with-a werewolf-and-string-him-along-
only-to-leave-when-my-boyfriend-goes-to-commit-sucide-because-he-thinks-I'm-dead' act is way overdramatic and pathetic, but I can't slap her because I have to keep up my rep as the coolest Cullen." She said in a 'DUH!' manner. I glanced at her in shock and managed to form a sentence between my gasps.

"Do you really think that of me?," I asked, horrified to hear my voices cracking. She looked at me in a patronizing matter and shook her head.

"No, of course I don't. I just have to give Eddy a convincing reason why I can't slap you." She said in a sickly sweet voice, giving Edward a 'she's so stupid' look and he answered her with an eye roll and a shake of his head.

"Promise?" I asked in a childish manner. She nodded her head.

"Yeah, sure, whatever." Edward snorted and coughed something that sounded suspicously like 'liar' but I knew he really said 'dryer' so I ignored him. Alice glared at him.

"Anyway, who is going to slap her?" Edward looked at the ground in thought for a moment before he lit up.

"Why don't we have Jane slap her? She hates her enough." Alice thought for a moment then started nodding, slowly at first then picking up speed as she began to like the idea more and more.

"That could work...you don't think she would hurt her, do you?" Edward shook his head.

"Bella loves her, she wouldn't hurt Jane." he said with confidence. Alice shrugged.

"If you're sure...Jane! We require you assistance with something!" Jane showed up a second later with an annoyed expression. She looked at me and sneered.

"What?" She snapped. Alice looked at her pleadingly.

"We need to use you for our own selfish desires." Jane glanced around to make sure no one was around, then she leaned in.

"It's $75 for 2 hours, $95 for 3, and $247 for the night." Edward shook his head.

"No, we have something more...enjoyable in mind, for all of us." Jane leaned farther in in interest and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you have in mind?" She licked her lips sensually. Alice and Edward leaned in close to her so they were in a huddle.

"We want you to slap Bella." He whispered. Jane's eye's widened and she stopped breathing for a second.

"Really?" Alice nodded her head. It was then I realized how much she and Edward really did care about me, like I was the only one important in their lives. Alice gestured to me.

"Well, go on. Get on with it." Jane looked at her like she got caught doing something naughty.

"Now?" Edward nodded.

"Now." As soon as he was done speaking, Jane held her hand up and slapped me across the face. I screamed at the sudden flash of pain, curling on my side to avoid the pain.

"Bella, are you okay?" I opened my mouth to say that I wasn't when Jane raised her hand and slapped me and again.

"You need to calm down. I know it hurts but it's for the best." I shook my head slowly.

"I'm not-" Smack. She struck me again.

"I'm serious Bella, calm down." I held my hands up.

"I'm cal-" Alice hit me this time. Again, I yelped in pain. She shook her head.

"BELLA, calm down. You're fine, it's over." I nodded, feeling my cheek, with my other hand guarding my face.

"I know that. I'm fine, I'm calm." Apparently that was the wrong thing to say because this time Edward hit me, slightly harder than Jane and Alice. I shrieked at him hitting my already bruised cheek.

"We're serious, love. Relax..." I opened my mouth, which was stupid on my part, to recieve another smack from Jane. Alice shook her head sadly.

"I don't think it's working. Maybe we should have Felix slap her?" Edward nodded.

"I didn't want it to come to that...but, I don't think we have much of choice at this point." He stared at me sadly while Jane nodded.

"I'll go retrieve him." She suddenly dissappeared. Edward started stroking my hair and Alice patted my hand.

"Don't worry, we'll stay with you through this." She said reassuringly. Moments after that Jane arrived with Felix in tow.

POV switch. Third person.

"Alright," Felix said, rubbing his hands together, "Let's do this." Edward moved so Bella was leaning up against him in a sitting postion.

"Don't worry, this will solve your problems." Alice said comfortingly. Bella nodded bravely.

"Here we go." Felix raised his hand. SMACK! A loud scream pierced the air and gradually trailed off. Bella sobbed loudly into Edward's neck, who was looking at her in concern.

"Are you okay?" She shook her head. Jane smirked.

"Maybe you should slap her harder, she seems even more upset and hysteric than earlier." She suggest slyly. Felix nodded.

"Turn her head." He ordered. Edward sadly turned her head. He raised his hand again and struck her. A loud SMACK! filled the air followed by a multiple loud thuds. He must have gotten carried away because her head came clean off her body with a large ripping sound. Edward and Alice stared in horror as her head bounced down the hall. Vampires surrounded her body at the smell of blood and devoured the corpse. Thirty seconds later they all left, bored and filled, leaving the drained body. Edward and Alice still sat in horror. Finally, someone spoke.

"YES! Now there won't be another movie! F*** yeah!"

And that's that. Hope you enjoyed it, I know I did.