Title: Lies
Rating: T
Theme: Trust is an important factor in loving someone. If you can only find reason for suspicion in that person, how can that relationship work? (Especially if it's with Shigure. He's so vague and mysterious, but that's why we love him, right?)
Pairing: An un-Rin x Shigure
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket.
X X X X X X X
It was like she was going in to see a diabolical villain.
For one thing, she couldn't see his face. He was seated in his swivel chair with his back to her. The blinds were drawn, draping an even darker cloak of mystery over the room. From between dingy white slits Rin could see clouds merge in the sky. She shivered. Rin had been caught in the downpour and her skimpy lacy black dress hadn't protected her at all. Freezing soaked goosebumps dotted her skin.
"Gure-nii."
Shigure slowly turned around. He took off his glasses as he slowly smiled--a devil's advocate smile. In that gesture alone, he seemed to be taunting her and crying lustfully for souls and sin. The smile stayed in the same region. His analytical russet eyes ravenously devoured her whole. She swore his eyes acted as a monster's sharp teeth: they tore through her skin and digested her very soul. She shivered again, this time on the inside. She didn't like being searched like this.
His mouth and eyes swapped expressions. Shigure leaned forward. He slammed his elbows decisively over the massive desk. Shigure locked his fingers. She assumed it was to make her flinch. She gave him no such gratification. He chuckled.
"Ah. Hello, Rin. What brings you here?" Another dry chuckle. "Have you come to wreak more havoc on my study?"
Rin shot him an ugly, withering glare before sweeping dark eyes over his study. Papers were cycloned everywhere, some messily inked with stories, some completely blank. Books were thrown about with torn pages and smudged ink. Even clothes were strewn about with total disregard for their owner. Pockets were turned inside out. The suit he had conned from Hatori was a crumpled heap by the knocked over bookshelf, obviously scavengered through as well. Even the blinds were horribly askew, but that was more a response to Rin's impatience and anger than anything else. Rin had searched his desk and checked his PC. Nothing in Shigure's possession had been safe.
And after all that effort, what had she been rewarded with?
Zilch. The room was adamant in protecting its elusive master's secrets.
His devilish smile stretched even wider over his face, baring some teeth. His demonically handsome face was now a mask of amusement. Or was it scorn? Rin wasn't sure.
Shigure gestured to the overturned wooden chair that had been tossed somewhere in the orbit of his desk. "Have a seat."
Rin balled her hands into fists. She fixed her face into a grimace. "No thank you," she said stiffly. "And what kind of person offers someone an overturned chair? You're not a very good host."
Shigure snickered. "You conveniently forgot that you're the one responsible for the state of that chair. And it's not like I let you in here or anything." He sighed. "Oh, Rin, how I've missed you. The reigning queen of ice, as usual. Or perhaps fire suits you best?"
Rin quirked an eyebrow. "Like the fires of hell?"
"Interesting. You consider yourself damned then?"
"I don't believe in hell. I don't believe in heaven. And I most certainly don't believe in you, Shigure."
"Interesting views, but I can't say I really care. Why think about such unpleasantries when there are so many more pleasant routes for our thoughts to take?" A pause. "Why don't you go change."
A commandment, not a question.
"No."
"You'll catch a cold."
"I don't care."
Slowly he got up from his shadowy throne. He slithered toward her, those brown eyes still glowing--always glowing--enigmatically. He claimed her by the wrist. Rin angrily rejected his touch.
Undeterred he roughly grabbed her jaw. He squeezed freezing fingertips around it. One hand moved up north. A gasp nearly wheezed from Rin's frail lungs but he squeezed her cheeks together so that her mouth was puckered and even more exposed. She was paralyzed with disgust and fear as he traced her full mouth with his fingertips.
"You should care," he advised in a low voice. His eyes narrowed. The canyon between his lips shrank into a thin, bland line haunted by only a ghost of a smile. He threw her jaw to the shadows as if she were a sweater instead of a person. But he still maintained their very close shared personal space. "Going in and out recklessly like this isn't doing anything for your health. Didn't you just get admitted to the hospital? Rest, Rin, and eat, for God's sake."
"The curse," Rin bit out in a shaking voice. "You know something, don't you?!" Her eyes grew in size. She let a pale, skinny arm direct her fury at his face. "How do I break the curse? Tell me!!! TELL ME!!!!!"
Shigure caught her violent hand tightly by the wrist before she did worse damage on him than she had on his study. "I know about as much as you do," he answered smoothly, flinging her arm back as if it were a mere ugly broken shell he was tossing back into sea. "Just because I'm close to our God doesn't mean he tells me everything. He happens to look down on me. He looks down on everyone. Now will you please change?" He presented her with a rumpled grey yukata. It dripped in creases and wrinkles from his hands. "You can wear this."
Rin flicked her dark mane away from her face with a toss of her head. She wrinkled her delicate nose at the yukata as she glared at it. There was a faint displeasing odor coming from it, but that wasn't why she was disgusted. The stench of his dishonesty was far greater than any scent perceived through sense of smell. She snatched up the yukata and hurled it angrily to the ground.
"You said about. That means you do know something."
Shigure's shoulders quaked from under his yukata. He wiped away a tear of laughter from the corner of his eye. "There goes my Rin, always overanalyzing things, dissecting words, playing detective." He raised his chin like the son of a king. "But I hold no secrets." He spread his arms wide to proclaim his innocence. "Trust me."
Rin would've laughed scornfully if she weren't so busy interrogating him with her eyes. His every gesture and facial contortion betrayed no guilty conscience on his name, not that she was expecting this. But he didn't divulge any guilt to begin with. It was strange and hard to describe. Shigure knew something--she understood this--and it was as clear-cut as a diamond under glaring department store lights. At the same time, Shigure laughingly, tauntingly, waved a gauzy curtain over it so that the brilliance only came in brief flashes. Now if only she could see past the misty deception...
Shigure let his arms faint in defeat next to his obliques. He gave a mock defeated sigh. "Okay," he assented. "Hate me. Glare at me with those pretty dark eyes of yours and make me out to be the villain. Fine. I don't care. But what I do care about is you. This behavior is yours is quite disturbing. But if you want to take my concern for you and turn it into something ugly, then I won't stop you. Just keep this in mind. Breaking and entering, not to mention vandalizing and potentially stealing, is a crime. I could have you, ah, how shall I say it... put in an unfortunate situation if not for the generosity and kindness in my heart."
Rin was startled, to say the least. She couldn't even pretend to hide the shock from her face. The man was more perceptive than she'd thought and she hadn't even stolen anything yet. But she gathered her composure and shot him a sizzling glare. She raised an eyebrow, cocked her hip out and slammed her hand over the protruding space.
"Are you calling me a thief?"
"I'm not calling you anything but sad and misguided."
He'd hit a nerve. Time to steer the conversation into a subject as far away from her and her troubled past as possible. "Where's Princess Idiot and her merry band of loyal followers?" she snarled, obtusely ignoring his black honey voice and the venom within.
"If you mean Tohru-kun, Yuki and Kyon, they're out grocery shopping. They'll be gone for a couple of hours." A dramatic pause, steeped in sultry possibilities. "We're all alone. It's just you and me."
Rin didn't see any possibilities other than punching his face in. "Shouldn't you be above such cliches? You are a writer."
"And a very successful one at that!" he sang. "One who will live to be a hundred and twelve and churn out many books. But you might not be so lucky if you don't warm up soon."
"Oh, I'll warm up!" Rin strode across the room and slid behind his desk. He spun around and wore an interested expression. Sex? his gaze seemed to say. But she barely noticed as her shaking hands roughly yanked open drawers.
"Searching again!" But secrets wasn't all Rin was after, although her eyes did gallop here and there searching for clues. Finally, avalanched under a hard-cover romance novel with a ragged spine, a stack of papers, and a mangled pack of pens, she spotted the crushed carton of cigarettes.
One stick popped up under the coercion of Rin's tightly-clenched fist. She stuck it between her lips and let her wild eyes skitter atop his desk. She finally found what she was looking for.
"Rin..." was the only thing he offered in the way of concern, but she ignored him. Her thumb flicked over the lighter wheel. Once. Twice. Click, click. Only a spark, then nothing.
"Lighter fluid," she said dully.
He grabbed the lighter and held it gingerly between his thumb and forefinger. She reached for it but he pulled it away with a smile.
"Allow me."
First came hate, then suspicion, then, oddly enough, submission. From her index and middle fingers she held out the cigarette as far away from her person as she could. With a grin, he flicked the wheel once with his thumb. A flame sprang up. She leaned forward to ignite the tip.
She let the cigarette linger at the entrance of her mouth. "Why?"
Shigure let out a sigh. His whole skeletal frame seemed to go with it. "Because you need a smoke, kid. You've had it rough. Even I can see that. But I am worried about your health. I don't think your lungs can take the smoke."
Rin took a defiant drag and spat the smoke in his face. As if he had uttered a premonition, her face screwed up in pain as her throat itched and burned. She immediately coughed.
Finally he looked worried. "Rin! Are you okay?" But Rin couldn't cough up an answer, although she found she could cough just fine. Fire seemed to ooze through her stomach and up her lungs. Even her skeleton screamed as if it were being used for a bonfire. She grabbed her midsection and slumped to the floor. Smoke sizzled in her lungs and screamed to expel the toxic fumes. Stop punishing me! her body seemed to shriek.
His hand landed on top of her head. "I'll get you a glass of water." From the darkness her hair sprayed over her face, she saw a dim image of her cousin running to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Rin continued to cough, hacking, soul-jarring coughs that ejected phlegm and bits of blood from from her throat. She ground her toe into the mess, hoping to disguise it. Her stomach hissed with acid. Tiny pricks attacked the back of her throat. Panic fluttered against her ribs in the form of her pulsing heart. No, please no! Rin pleaded. Don't throw up! Please!
He returned. The lip of a cup was shoved to her mouth. "Drink," he urged.
With no further prompting, Rin grabbed the glass and greedily drank. Water oozed down her chin, over her breasts. She shivered.
Shigure noticed. "Hold on. I'll get you some soup." Shigure held a hand to her forehead. He frowned. "You want me to call Hatori?"
Unable to speak, she simply shook her head no. He disappeared again.
Trembling, Rin stood and looked around. She staggered forward. Perhaps she could do some more investigating. There had to be one book she had overlooked, a word she hadn't read carefully enough, something!
Time stretched its legs slowly in front of her. Everything became a hazy falling white. In a far-off place, a child was crying. Grey waved in the distance now and words were being said, but she couldn't tell what they meant or who the words were coming from.
When Shigure's footsteps echoed in the hall, Rin came back.
He was carrying a small tray of something hot in his hands. She sucked in a breath as he approached her. "How long...?"
Shigure smiled sheepishly. "Twenty minutes."
Twenty minutes? Had it really been that long? It had only seemed a mere instant since the last time he'd left. Rin crushed a lily petal hand to her forehead as a sharp jab cornered her brain. She had a real distortion of time. All that wasted time...
"Now there'll be none of that," he ordered sternly, pressing her to the ground with a strong hand. "No more snooping." He pushed the chipped bowl of soup towards her. "Eat."
She looked deep into the steaming bowl. The liquid looked light grey due to the severe lack of light in the room. Speaking of which, why didn't he turn on the lights? It was probably to frighten her. But the darkness no longer scared her. Eyes burning with defiance, she pushed it away with a grimace. "I hate tomato soup," she hissed.
"Tohru made it. It's delicious. And you look gaunt. I know you haven't been eating." He pushed the bowl with more force this time. The liquid almost sloshed over the side. "Eat."
Her stomach gave off a low growl. She was hungry but she couldn't give in again. No, she wasn't weak, not like that smiling fool and that sulky, whiny Cat. And she sure as hell wasn't that nosy, persistent piece of shit Rat Yuki.
Another growl, but this one tore itself from her throat as she grabbed the bowl and shoveled the red soup into her mouth. She moaned softly. It felt so good to give in. He was right. It was delicious. Small pieces of succulent tomatoes stuck deliciously in her mouth, so rich in flavor. The liquid settled soothingly warm in her needy stomach. More, more, more!!! her body urged. It was one order she wasn't hesitant to obey. A thunder bolt lit up the sky and thunder rattled in her ears. Soup dribbled down her chin. With the wildly starving and delirious look look in her eyes and her unsmiling dripping red mouth, Rin had the uncanny appearance of a vampire greedily sucking down blood.
"I'm sorry," he cooed as he squatted down and placed a hand on her cheek. "Sometimes I forget how frail you are, even with all your strength." He gestured to the destruction site as verification. He looked down at the glass ashtray which held her now dead squashed cigarette and sighed. "This family is full of sick people. Yuki has problems with his bronchial tubes, you--"
Rin wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and shimmied out from under his touch. The bowl was dumped crudely to the ground. "That's only two," she spat. "The rest of this family is chock full of healthy, happy little fools. Like Hiro. And Satsuki. And... everyone."
Shigure stood. He crossed his arms. "You're forgetting Akito. He's sick and he's far from happy."
She looked away as she got to her feet. "He doesn't count. He's not... family." Angry irises ground into his. "He's not family yet you're protecting him. Why? What way does it benefit you?"
"He's family, whether you like it or not, Rin." He paused. "As for how it benefits me," his smile deepened, became more sinister, "I suppose we'll see. But in all seriousness, Rin, you shouldn't treat him with such disrespect."
"Am I supposed to bow down to him like he's a king?"
"You're supposed to at least try and see things from his view. You should have more compassion for him. You share his blood. We share his blood. Surely he would cry if he knew how much you scorned him."
"He would do no such thing. He's incapable of tears."
"He's capable of feeling a lot more than you think. He has his burdens too."
He has his burdens too? An inside chuckle. What a laugh.
"What are yours?"
He gave her a sad smile. "I can't tell."
"You never can." Using long strides from her tall legs, she tried to get as far away from the jellyfish Dog as possible.
"I wasn't lying when I said I care about you," he shouted at her scarred back. "Just know that."
Rin's combat booted feet paused at the threshold. She spun around.
Shigure, smiling while standing in the midst of chaos, as usual.
What a fool.
The formidable night sent her a frosty gust of wind as a welcome to the outside world. Rin looked up. Fat raindrops stabbed her eyes.
And that was when it came to her.
A person in the snow flickered hazily into view. His black hair covered his eyes and he was crouched low. Two small feet in snow boots showed up below his nose. He looked up through his bangs. Tears went down blood-flecked cheeks. Someone else's blood.
The unsmiling child who had approached him tilted her black umbrella up into the unforgiving sky. Such a grave child. How unusual it was to see such an expression of solemnity on a young person's face, but she had seen horrific things. Those eyes set in her pale face like chunks of unshining onyx were old eyes.
Her young voice was a dull monotone. "Why are you crying?"
The boy smiled. His hand poured over her small head.
"Children shouldn't know what goes on in the hearts of beasts. I care too much about you to burden you, Isuzu-chan."
Flicker, then fade. The vision died.
Rin's hands balled into fists. "He's always like that," she hissed in a trembling voice, unsure of whether to cry or scoff. "He's always been so stupid. Fool! Fool! Fool!"
Her heart wrenched painfully in her chest but she shook her head in disbelief as she walked away. But she stopped and looked over her shoulder. A bulky silhouette was painted behind a rice paper window, light shining all around the soft shadow. And then it was gone. Another boy's smiling face came to mind and another shake of her head met his grey eyes. Oh, but how her heart burned for him, ached for what could never be.
Too many shadows to contend with. What I need now is light.
