Welcome to Act III of "An Alien Sighting!". I changed the summary again, because I'm a perfectionist. A really eccentric, corrupt one at that... Thanks a million to gkc, ebonycircles, FireFallon, (I'm honored to know you would die nine times in order to find out what happens next :D) vampireenvy9, SeeECrunVamp, silentembrace, and WithAVampiresVengance for reviewing.
Disclaimer: In no way do I own Twilight or any of it's characters. They, the characters, are merely vehicles in which I use to divulge my inner sexual desires, perverted-ness, and any other array of emotions or actions I wish to bestow upon them. I also do not own any other character I happen to mention in any of my chronicles (i.e Inu-yasha).
AN ALIEN SIGHTING.
By: Luminiferous
Act III: Is this a Cosplay Convention?! Or what...?
Scene V
Previously:
Carlisle: "Right, before we're interrupted again-"
(Just then, the door slams upstairs and Edward can be heard calling "Hey! I'm home! Is Bella alright? I killed that sonuvabitch Jake. He'll never lay a hand on my woman again! No one will ever harm my woman-" Just then, he appears downstairs. He surveys the scene before him, which include Carlisle and Esme who are dressed up in some quite tasteless vampire Halloween costumes, Rosalie and Alice are sitting on a sofa eating a bowl of popcorn, and Emmett and Jasper are standing, arms crossed, behind a very bloody and disheveled Bella who happens to be chained to an Electric chair, with a look of sheer, livid fury... )
(Edward stares at the scene before him for several more minutes until...)
Edward: "Are you guys filming some low budget horror movie without me?!"
(There is a pause. Everyone stares flabbergasted at Edward)
Alice: "... Booo! Your ruining the show!"
(Alice throws popcorn at Edward)
Carlisle: "Alice! That's enough. Now, Edward, what would ever give you the impression that we were filming a movie of any sort?!"
Edward: "The fact you're all wearing cheesy costumes, and that there's a camera filming us over there!... I want a cheesy costume!"
(Edward points at camera crew in the corner of the basement. Everyone awaits Carlisle's answer. Esme speaks up.)
Esme: "... I thought I'd document the experience! Your true love, learning our family's secret! Both of you learning the others true feelings for one another- It's a hallmark moment!"
Edward: " I don't know that Bella's my true love, although she does smell really nice! We just met, and right now I'm concentrating more on not killing her... And ... That still doesn't explain why I can't wear a costume!(pout)"
Carlsle: "Erm... the only ones we have left are Sleeping Beauty, The Tooth fairy, Raggedy Anne ... and oh! An Inu-yasha cosplay costume."
(Edward disappears for a moment and the re-appears wearing a mans red kimono, white wig, sandals, and is carrying a long wide sword with a furry handle)
Edward: "Alright. I feel in the loop now..."
(Edward finally notices Bella and runs over to the electric chair she is chained to.)
Edward: "Bella?! Are you alright!"
Bella: "Izzz thunk I be fryed chikun. inu-yashii?? (giggle)"
Carlisle: "Jasper! Emmett! You were supposed to be watching her! Oh no, she didn't find the methamphetamine-injection-feature button did she?"
(Bella throws syringe at Carlisle)
Edward: "Why the hell is there a drug-button-feature on an eclectic chair?!"
Carlisle: "The dealer said he could add it for just another $300.(sigh) Jasper, go upstairs and see if you can find the owners manual for that electric chair."
(Jasper leaves, and Edward touches Bella's face lovingly)
Edward: "Bella, it's going to be okay-"
(Bella attempts to bite Edward)
Edward: "Sonuva-... (deep breath) Bella, honey, it's going to be okay. No more kidnappers, you hear? I killed Jacob."
Alice: "Erm, about that. Jacob Black wasn't actually kidnaping Bella, turns out."
Edward: "... So, I killed him for nothing?"
Alice: "Eh. I envisioned his transformation into a werewolf, if that helps the guilt?"
Edward: "(sigh of relief) Yes, yes it does. Anyway, Carlisle, do you have a counter-drug or something to get Bella back to normal?"
Carlisle: "I'll see what I can do..."
An hour later...
(Bella sighs and settles into a conventional, lazy-boy chair)
Bella: "Thanks for unchaining me from that electric chair and getting me back to normal..."
Carlisle: "Anytime Bella. Happens all the time (coughonlyinthisfuckedupfanfictioncough) Now shall we commence to the whole point of this meeting? Bella, we'd like to make sure you-"
Bella: "Hold on a sec, Dr. Cullen. (Carlisle groans in fustration) Edward, why are you wearing an Inu-yasha cosplay costume? Kinda reminds me of the time you came to my balcony ... (see Chapter 1: Tonto: the little sperm that could). Are you into cosplay or something? Whoa wait! Is there a cosplay convention in Forks?!"
Edward: "Bella, we've never formally met before this, remember? (jabjabpokepoke). And why are you so obsessed with cosplay?! I mean, can't a man just wear an Inu-yasha costume for the fun of it? Even tho I hate Inu-yasha... Damn..."
Bella: "... I use to be obsessed with anime back in Phoenix..."
Emmett and Jasper: "(coughlosercough)"
Alice: "There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking anime! Why else would we have an Inu-yasha cosplay cost-"
Carlisle: "(losing his patience) Can we shut up about the Inu-yasha costume, cosplay and anime?! (Edward leaves to change) Please? I would really like to get back to work eventually.(everyone shuts up) Okay now-"
Camera crew man: "Hey, are we done here yet?"
Carlisle: "(begins to hyperventilate) IF ONE MORE PERSON INTERRUPTS ME, I SWEAR TO G-O-D I WILL..."
Esme: "Calm down, honey."
Carlise: "(Ahem) Does anyone else have something to say? No? Alright. Now Bella. As Alice told you before, we are vampires. (Bella nods). I believe, she also told you, that we do not intentionally harm humans. (Mutters) We do slip sometimes, however. (Cough) Annnnyywaaayy, We mostly hunt animals such as deer. We also possess other unusual qualities, such as shining in the sunlight, and Edward, Alice, and Jasper here all have their own powers. Edward can read minds, Alice can see into the future, and Jasper can control emotions.
Bella: "Pretty nifty." (Bella is suddenly wearing a tie-dye shirt with flowers in her hair)
Carlisle: "You could put it that way... Now, Bella, do you comprehend everything we've told you so far?"Bella: "Yes. But I do have a question."
Carlisle: "Yes?"
Bella: "How old are you all anyway?"
Carlisle: "We range from 650- to about 50 years old. We never physically age, tho."
Bella: "Right. But how come the rest of you all don't have powers?"
Carlisle: "Well, we had suspicions that each of them in their human lives were more connected then the rest of us to those senses. Alice most likely was very intuitive, Jasper was probably good at calming people down and Edward could probably read people easily..."
(Edward reappears and is now wearing normal clothes)
Edward: "(ahem) Actually, I'd like to come clean about something. Bella actually wasn't that far off when she said I was an alien. (Everyone gasps) Actually, the reason I'm most likely to read minds is because I am the reincarnation of a..."
(End of scene IV)
OoOoOo suspense. Edward couldn't possibly be the male reincarnation of an alien mind-reading princess-thingy could he? Whoa did I say princess? My bad. :D Reviews? (I'd respond to them, if my computer didn't freeze when I attempt to send messages ... piece of crap...)
-Luminiferous
