Chapter 4: Stay and Face the Music

A/N: So I changed the category to Grey's/PP crossover. Just so we all know now, ha. Also, random: anyone from New Zealand here? It would be cool if you are and could message me. :-)

Chapter title comes from the song Cartwheels.


Addison was at Sam's at nine p.m. the night of the ferryboat postcard—as was everyone else; Addison had declared a state of emergency. Given that it was Friday, Carson was permitted to stay up later than normal with Lucas Wilder and Devon Freedman. The three children were playing Uno while their parents and "aunties and uncles" discussed the best way to handle the situation at hand.

"I can't believe you didn't tell her that he was going to be here," Naomi was saying with a smile of disbelief on her face.

"Yeah, or that he's staying at your place. Seriously, Sam?" Cooper earned a lift of the eyebrows from his wife. "What? Oh come on, I'd be pissed. Are you pissed?" He tossed back a drink of his beer while Addison contemplated her answer.

"I don't know, should I be? Should I be pissed at you, Sam?"

"What was I supposed to say to you? That's not exactly something that comes up in conversation. I was distracted that morning, I had almost forgotten about it."

"I don't see what the big stinkin' deal is. You were married to this guy when? Eight years ago? Come on, Montgomery… You're pushing forty-five. This isn't the kind of crap we freak out about anymore, is it?"

"Charlotte, this is clearly more than meets the eye. What's Derek Shepherd got on you?"

"Nothing, Vi, he doesn't have anything except eleven of the best years of my life, plus the years we dated in medical school and there's—" Her cheeks filled with blood as she bit back what she almost let slip. "Sam of all people should know that it's kind-of a big deal when you invite someone's ex to stay with you—when that someone lives next door!"

"I didn't invite—" Sam started, but he was clearly losing the battle.

"The point is that Addison isn't comfortable with him being here, right? So what's the plan from there?" Pete interjected.

Addison offered him a look of thanks for getting the conversation back on track. "Can't he stay somewhere else, Sam?" she complained for the hundredth time that day.

"Addison, please. He asked me for a favor, and I told him it was okay. He's going to be here tomorrow, with his little boy, I can't tell him no now…"

"He has a son?" Naomi and Violet asked in unison. It was Naomi who continued though, "I had no idea. What's he been doing the last… how long has it been now—five, six years?"

Addison shrugged and played with the straw in her daiquiri. "How should I know? He and the intern got married—oh, well, she's not an intern now—and they had a baby, named him after his dad. Now she's getting a name for herself already in neuro—go figure. But I have no idea what he's doing. Oh, wait, yes I do. He's chief of surgery at Seattle Grace, whose surgical program is now ranked number one in the nation."

"Impressive," said Cooper, his brow rising toward his hairline.

"Wrong answer," murmured Charlotte, elbowing him under the arm. "Don't you ever learn anything?"

"Yeah, thanks Coop."

"Well it's not like you've been sitting around doing nothing," Dell pointed out.

"I'm not chief of surgery though! I'm chief of… single motherhood!" She threw her hands up in exasperation.

"You make it sound like a bad thing. While he's had someone to rely on consistently, a live-in person to share responsibility with, you've been holding your own almost completely alone. I would say that's pretty impressive," noted Violet.

"Yeah," agreed Pete with a slight chuckle, "single parenthood isn't exactly the easiest thing. Especially for you, I would imagine, as a surgeon. Good thing you've got Sam to help out, though."

Addison shrugged. "You all help. I wouldn't have made it through without you guys." This earned several modest "well, not really"s from her companions, which made for the perfect opportunity to change the subject. "So, what am I going to do?"

"What do you want to do?" Naomi asked level-headedly. "How do you feel about him now?"

Addison opened her mouth to answer (though the answer she did not know) when Carson came over carrying her cell phone. "I was showing Lucas and Devon the kitty game, and it started ringing," she explained, handing the device over.

Addison glanced at the number on the screen, which was attached to a name. "Oh my God," she blurted. "It's him. It's Derek. What do I do?"

"Answer," Charlotte and Violet said automatically.

"Hello?" she stated, pulling herself together. She was Addison Forbes Montgomery, not just some dumb broad who let Derek Shepherd walk all over her. She waited on his response for what seemed hours, but in reality was only a few seconds. "Hello? I can hear you—"

But a familiar voice cut into her words, breathing her name, "Addison." It wasn't a question or a statement. It was just perfect. It was exactly how she remembered it, and that sent chills down her back.

She squeezed her eyes shut to rid such thoughts from her head. "Who is this?"

Sam snorted next to her, and everyone else grinned; she was playing demure and everyone knew it but him.

"Um, Derek. Hi." She almost laughed at the unnatural quality in his voice. Of course he was Derek.

But she was on a roll. "No kidding! I heard you were heading this way. You're staying with Sam, aren't you? How's, um, James, right?" Asking questions to which she already knew the answers seemed like the safest route.

"Yeah, James. He's great." She could hear a boy with Derek's diction singing in the background. "He's four, and … he really likes The Beatles." There was a small pause, and Addison imagined a nauseatingly adorable toddler, a perfect combination of his parents' perfect genes. "We should only be that way for about a week or so. Meredith's doing Doctors Without Borders, so Jamie and I are traveling. How's everyone doing down there?"

Addison was thrown off guard: Doctors Without Borders? Really? "Oh, great," she said without putting much thought into her words, "We're all great. You know L.A. Full of … greatness." She was hardly aware of how very stupid she sounded; though Dell, Sam, and Pete had all laughed without reserve at her depiction of her friends' well-being.

He was quiet again for a moment, and Addison caught snatches of "Yellow Submarine" and squeaking bed springs. "That's good to hear," he said at last, but his words sounded stressed.

She didn't know what he wanted, or what to say to him. Especially not with everyone's attention focused on her, including the three children. "Listen, Der—" the old pet name slipped right off her tongue before she could help herself, "—it was great to hear from you, but I'm kind of in the middle of, uh, something." What a stupid thing to say. "A meeting," she corrected herself hurriedly. "Yes. So, why don't you call me when you're in town and we'll catch up one day?" There, that wasn't so hard.

"That would be great. Save my number. Later, Addie." The last word caused her heart to skip a beat, and she hated herself for it. Why was this so awkward? Perhaps time and changes had strained their abilities to be cordial and normal.

Addison didn't respond as she hung up. But as soon as she did, she was met with a bombardment of questions.

"So, what did he want?"

"Why is he calling so late?"

"Why is he calling you at all?"

"Where's the bimbo?"

"'Full of greatness?'"

She ignored them, feeling a bit stunned. "I have no idea what that was about."

--

The buzzing in Derek's head had returned by the time he entered the Santa Monica city limits. But this time it was not buzzing with problems or any form of anxiety. This time, it was buzzing with anticipation. He hadn't been to California in quite a long time, before James was born. But that hadn't been a happy visit, and certainly not the one he wanted to remember as he began his current trip.

James was sleeping in his carseat when they pulled up to Sam's driveway at just after six p.m. Derek wondered how he should wake him, knowing how excited he had been the past several days to finally see the ocean. He glanced next door as he took the keys out of the ignition. Addison's house, knowing she may be just inside, made him somewhat nervous.

"Are we finally here?" came his son's tiny, only half-awake voice.

Derek turned in his seat and grinned. "We are. The ocean is probably pretty chilly this time of year, though, champ. Better wait til tomorrow, when the sun is up, to do much swimming. And we may want to get you a wet suit." Perhaps he was being a mother hen, but he would hate to have to tell Meredith he had gotten their son ill in the first two days of separation.

"But today is tomorrow…" he whispered as Derek got out of the vehicle and began detaching the fastenings of the carseat.

He sighed at the sadness in his son's voice. He hated saying no; hated being the bad guy because Meredith was seemingly too afraid to turn down anything the boy asked. "Well, maybe we can at least hit the beach. But I really think it's too cold for swimming right now, okay? The sun is going down and it's November. So, it's tomorrow or nothing, buddy."

James groaned as Derek lifted him from the car and set him upright on the pavement. "Awwwoohhh. Okay, Daddy…"

"If it isn't Derek Shepherd!" came a familiar, though slightly older, voice from ahead.

"Sam Bennett!" Derek turned and grinned as his old friend. He looked the same as always, though crow's feet tugged at the corners of his eyes likes parasites to his smile, and gray was beginning to mingle in with his bituminous goatee. It made Derek wonder how much he, himself, had changed—how much the others had changed. "This is Jamie, my son." He stepped back and placed a hand on the four-year-old's shoulder.

James smiled and stuck out a small hand. "Mister Sam?"

Sam smiled up at Derek as he gingerly shook the boy's hand. "Yeah, but I think just 'Sam' will work similarly well."

"Okay, Just-Sam." James smiled broadly. "Do you own the ocean?" He poked his head around the side of the house to stare at the waves breaking against the shore before looking earnestly up at the man before him.

"Ah, no. But that would be nice. I own this stretch of beach, though…" He nodded towards the strip of sand before his deck.

"Really? You own the beach? Cool! Daddy, can Just-Sam show me his beach? Please?"

Derek sighed, but was unable to deny the fervor in his son's face. "I suppose it would be okay, as long as it's alright with Sam and you don't go into the ocean." While James jumped up and down on the spot clapping his hands, Derek met Sam's eyes. "Okay if I grab a beer? It's been a long drive…"

"Sure, help yourself. Come join us when you're done, if you'd like."

Derek smiled in response and walked toward the front door.

--

Addison had been sitting in her kitchen, trying to convince herself for good reason. It was a nice kitchen, and really she didn't spend enough time in it. She should really use the kitchen more. Yes, that was it; she was being more diverse in her after-work-cocktail time. But of course that was just what she told herself. What she was really doing was pretending to be interested in a game of Sudoku and glancing nervously out the window with the view of Sam's driveway for the past hour-and-a-half. But even when they pulled up and Addison watched her ex-husband pull a toddler from the backseat—a predictably gorgeous toddler—she managed to stay in her seat like it was none of her concern. But when Sam and the boy ran off toward the beach and Derek went inside, she thought it might be safe to edge toward the patio.

Once outside, she slunk down into the chair furthest from the pair checking out a tide pool. But they had their backs to her and didn't seem to be paying much attention, so she stepped forward and crossed her arms, watching as the little boy—Derek's carbon copy almost to a T—held up a seashell for Sam to examine.

She almost didn't notice when Derek came out of the back side of Sam's house, holding a longneck in one hand and a smile across his lips. She didn't realize she was staring but had time to notice that his hair was shorter, the way it had been in New York, and was beginning to lighten; there were heavy circles under his eyes that she could see even from a distance; lines were forming around his dimples; and there was a wedding band on his finger again—though not the same one she remembered.

She didn't realize how long she had stood there and taken in the differences in his appearance until he glanced sideways at her. She detected a grin on his face, which made her unable to resist smiling back. Then he turned fully to her and raised his beer before taking a drink, his eyes never leaving hers. Without a second's hesitation she lifted her Long Island iced tea.

Derek went back inside, shutting the door behind him, the moment gone as soon as it had come. But Addison thought with a flush of percipience that that had been way too simple. Dealing with his presence was supposed to be difficult, like a challenge to overcome in an obstacle course. Seeing him for the first time in six years was not supposed to be so easy. Nothing about them had ever been easy.

On that note, Addison turned to go back to her Sudoku, but just as she did, she caught Sam's eye. He glanced to his now-closed patio door then raked his eyes toward Addison, and the frown etched into his face had never hurt her more.


A/N: What do you think? I'm getting more ideas for this as I go along so hopefully it will gradually become better/easier to read. Your input is deeply welcome!