Wow...SIXTEEN reviews for last week's chapter. I am astonished and beaming with joy. Did someone say MOTIVATION?! :D

Abridged is bold face!


The left corner of the white room was suspiciously normal for the first time.

Everyone had been staring at it for a while, waiting for the typical white fuzzy glow to form and present somebody known from their lives, but it strangely stayed the same. Yugi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"...So, no one's going to appear for this episode?"

Yami rested his chin on his hand, a pensive expression on his face. "It doesn't seem like it, no. How strange. I thought the pattern was somebody new appearing for each episode."

"Although it seems rather unlikely to have a new person for each episode, don't you think?" Ryou spoke up. "We are still not even in Duelist Kingdom island. I don't know how long this 'show' is going to take us, but I assume it will at least go up to our current lives before we were sucked into this mess. That will be an obscenely large amount of people in a medium sized room. Do we even know so many people?"

"Yeah, it seems a bit too much." Tea agreed. "Maybe the episode dictates when a new person appears?"

Yami's eyes lit up in realization. "Tea, you're absolutely right. Bakura didn't appear in the first episode, even though he made a small cameo for a moment in the beginning. He did, however, appear in the second one since he spoke. Mai's appearance is also congruent with her introduction: the third episode. As the characters of this alternative reality show up and actually say a word or two, the 'characters' in our reality appear. It needs to be an official introduction. "

"If that's true, then why haven't some characters who have clearly spoken more than Bakura appeared in this room? Pegasus for one. Rex and Weevil. Grandpa as well!" Yugi counter-argued. The taller doppelganger opened his mouth to reiterate, but found no logical answer to Yugi's valid questions, and therefore closed his mouth in puzzlement.

"I have absolutely no idea." He finally said in a lost tone.

Tristan ponders on what Yugi said and then states slowly. "Maybe LK decides who is going to appear in the room or not. He might not like the other characters-"

"Or SHE." Mai immediately interjected with a slight huff.

"...whatever! He or she might not like the other characters enough to include them here with us. And wasn't it mentioned the show's name is Yu-Gi-Oh? I think I heard that in the first or second episode. Yugi must be the protagonist of the show and being friends of the protagonist, we are considered major secondary characters right? People who have an important link to Yugi and us in general will probably appear, while the other ones won't be bothered." Tristan muttered.

"Can you dweebs just put the episode already? The faster we finish this pathetic excuse for a show, the faster this nightmare is over." Seto Kaiba snapped out of nowhere, startling those around him. "Sheesh, Kaiba. Take a chill pill," Joey began saying but the serious brunette immediately interrupted him.

"NO, Wheeler. I will not take a 'chill pill' as you so intelligently put it. You know why? Because I am stuck in this void of a room with you LOSERS, with nothing else to do but waste precious time watching a MORONIC television show which is supposed to be a representation of ourselves in an alternate universe!"

Seeing that Joey was gearing up for a fight, Tea plopped down on the sofa between them and took hold of the remote. "We should begin the next episode!" She spoke lightheartedly, as if nothing happened between the two teenage boys. The two took heed of her very subtle warning and decided to wave the invisible white flag of truce. For now.

She pressed play, but the screen was still black. "Huh?"

"Hehehe."

"Huh-huh-huh."

The black faded to a blue color, with Rex Raptor's face in a white oval appearing first.

A familiar guitar tone started to play and Weevil's evil-looking grinning face appeared in another white oval to the right side of screen. Both were laughing stupidly.

The Yu-Gi-Oh! logo appeared at the top, with the names REX and WEEVIL against some yellow spiky shapes appearing at the bottom of their ovals respectively.

"They really wanna drive home the fact Rex and Weevil are Beevus and Butthead, huh?" Joey said simply. Yami, not knowing who these strange individuals were and certainly not liking being left in the dark, just ignored the entire introduction so far.

"What I don't understand is how that universe has these pop culture references seen in our universe." Yugi wonders.

"Maybe the only thing that changes in between this reality and theirs is literally only us." Ryou replied back hesitantly.

The intro faded into a blue sky with clouds. The Yu-Gi-Oh logo still appeared, now slightly tilted up and right below was 'REX and WEEVIL in' with a makeshift title to the current episode. It read: "Huh-huh, you said 'Man-Eater' bug!"

"This episode isn't going to be about them, is it?" Tea complained.

"Wow, an entire island all to ourselves." Joey said with wonder in his voice, while looking out the book and into the horizon. "It's sorta like that book, Lord of the Flies. Only with a lot less subtext, and a lot more card games!"

"I guess Bakura's right on us being the only significantly different thing in the show."

Tristan's face grew uncomfortably close to Tea, a large sweat drop on his face. "Wasn't that the movie with the evil ring and the hobbits?" He asked, eyes shifting suspiciously.

"Wrong movie, dumbass." Joey snickers. "That's Lord of the Rings."

Tea gets unusually mad at his comment and retorts back while the brunette backs away with a weird look on his face. "Why would ANY of those things be on this island, you idiot?!"

A black screen appears with an evil-looking Yami Bakura and a large white arrow pointing to the millennium ring, aptly titled in big white letters 'Evil Ring'.

At the side of this picture, Yugi is seen with his friends as the shortest of the bunch and an equally large arrow points to Yugi, the word 'Hobbits' right above it.

"DID THEY JUST SAY I'M A HOBBIT?!" Yugi screeched, while Yami covered his mouth with his palm to keep himself from laughing.

"HA!" Joey exclaims. "That's funny."

"It's not even remotely funny!"

"Well... everyone else seems to think so." Joey pointed out the rest of the gang also following suit of Yami, covering their mouth with a hand to keep laughter from bursting forwards. The snickers, however, could not be avoided. Even the extremely polite Ryou struggled to keep his suppressed laugh silent .

"I am NOT a hobbit! I'm just a little short." Yugi fumed.

"Oh God, we're so sorry Yugi...Dwarfs don't like to be called hobbits, right?" Mai said sympathetically.

Yugi nodded. "That's exactly right-HEY!"

The boat already docks at the island, and the gang is passing by a line of security guards. "I sure hope no one notices we're trespassing!" Tristan's voice is heard before he enters the screen, walking stiffly in great big strides and in a staccato fashion, making it seem painfully obvious he didn't belong in Duelist Kingdom. One of the goons noticed his idiotic behavior and yelled out.

"Hey, you!"

Tristan stops in his tracks, with a horrified look in his face.

The irony! He thinks to himself. The security guard looks at the back of Tristan's head, his face drenched in sweat. "Quit drawing attention to yourself, you barely qualify as a sidekick."

"BURN!" Joey exclaimed laughingly, ala Kelso style.

Joey suddenly decided to give a very unconvincing sneeze at the general direction to where Tea was standing. "Ahh-choo!" She looks quite disgusted at almost being sneezed on. Yugi, being the good worried friend he was, stated in a soft concerned voice.

"You wouldn't have caught that cold if it hadn't been for Weevil."

Joey has a strangely happy expression on his face, while he wipes his noise in a crass manner.

"Do you have any sense of manners and etiquette in your entire body,Wheeler?" Kaiba snapped for the third time this episode. The blonde opened his mouth to yell at the jerk but Seto cut him off. "Actually, that's a stupid question. You can't make a mutt into a civilized human being."

This time, Joey had the unusual nerve to merely state calmly. "Yeah, if you can keep it quiet over there, Kaiba. We'd rather not hear the agonizing sounds of you taking that massive pole out of your ass."

"I'm surprised you even know the word 'agonizing'." Kaiba effortlessly shot back. "Have you been watching your Baby Einstein videos?"

"You know, you're REALLY getting on my nerves you DAMN-!"

"Please stop fighting!" Ryou shouted, catching everyone by surprise. The Brit did not resort to yelling very often; in fact, he rarely ever did which is why everyone stayed deadly quiet. The teen sighed in relief, tense muscles finally relaxing. He absolutely hated violence.

"Actually, I wouldn't have caught it if you hadn't been a naive moron and handed him your most powerful cards!" Joey said looking at his friend in a condescending manner.

Joey looks at Yugi, with his arms crossed, a very obvious eyebrow raised up in complete agreement over what his double said (for the first time so far). The short duelist just looked away.

"No, it was definitely Weevil." A zoom-up of Weevil looking at the gang's general direction appeared, the blue-haired freak looking as evil and creepy as ever. "He threw my grandfather's cards into the ocean, and I'll never be able to forgive him." Yugi stated in a firm voice.

Tristan interrupts Joey and Yugi with a stupidly happy expression on his face. "It's sort of like the time Joey threw away a piece of your Millennium Puzzle!"

This time, Yugi looks at his blonde friend with a raised-up eyebrow, arms crossed in the same haughty expression Joey was using just a few seconds ago. The tall teen laughs weakly, holding his neck.

Joey moves awkwardly more a moment before smiling nervously. "...Yeah, except ya forgave me for that. Right, Yug?" He looks at his friend with a hopeful gleam.

Meanwhile, Yugi has a rather angry expression. "Sure Joey. Suure." He states eerily, making it seem he really didn't forgive Joey for anything and he was secretly waiting to get revenge. A very familiar tune came on while Yugi's still angry image zoomed in.

It is then immediately recognized it is Quincy Jone's famous song Ironside Theme, from the classic Tarantino movie 'Kill Bill'.

"The references in this show are killer." Tristan grins.

A flashback of Yugi kneeling over his scattered millenium puzzle with sadness in his eyes appears. Yugi appears at the screen again, angry expression strong.

Joey is looking down at Yugi with a malicious grin. Yugi's face seems to be even more enraged, as his eyes start glinting in anger and his lips are curled up in a slight snarl. Joey is seen throwing away a piece of the Millennium Puzzle into a river or canal below the school.

Finally, Yugi's face appears determined in a 'watch your back because I'm going to stab it' kind of way, while the catchy ending of the Kill Bill soundtrack ends.

"He..hehe. You're not really still angry at me are you Yug?" Joey states anxiously. Yugi gives him a genuine smile. "I promise you Joey. It's all forgiven. But I can't say the same for my alter," He chuckles. "I don't think he's very keen on forgiveness right now."

"Right." Joey says. "I get that. My alter is also a pretty big douche in bringing that bullying point up over and over in the last episode, so that may play a part in why alternate Yugi's not feeling it." He said in a joking form.

"Attention Duelists!" The bodyguard with a unicorn horn for hair known as Kemo suddenly announced. "If you can all stop staring at my hair for a moment, you'll see that Pegasus's castle is just behind me." He sweeps his arm back to show the enormous castle and the extremely long stone staircase.

"Please follow the unnecessarily long staircase to meet your host."

Tea is seen walking up the stairs when suddenly she looks to her left with a somewhat curious expression. "My limey senses are tingling!"

"Oh great. That's how I know they're talking about me." Ryou mumbled.

She stops in her tracks to see the dense forest below them, and a white-haired figure is shown at a very far-away angle. "What is it, Tea?" Yugi asks, and everybody stops walking up to see the brunette girl in question pointing directly towards the forest.

"I thought I saw Bakura again!" A different point of view from within the forest is looking up at the four friends, the scene zooming out. "Maybe we should go check." Joey suggests.Now the trees are passing by the camera leisurely. "He is our friend, after all."

Yugi looks appalled at the suggestion. "And let him cut into MY precious screen-time?" He turns away and keeps walking upwards "No way! Besides, it's not like he's a main character or anything." Ryou shows up behind a tree with a strangely negative look in his eyes.

Ryou sighs exasperated. "How many times do your alters have to drive that very annoying point home?"

"Don't look at us, it's not like we can control what they say or not." Joey stated in Yugi's defense.

"By the way, why WERE you at the bottom of the forest being all sly and sneaky?" Mai wonders out loud, still not understanding how Ryou frequently got dictated by the evil spirit of the Millennium ring to do his bidding. "I mean, you guys are friends right?"

Everyone wasn't sure how to answer this question, and the silence suddenly filled with awkwardness. "Well...It's quite complicated to explain, actually." Ryou finally said softly.

"The spirit in my ring sometimes...influences me in certain ways. There are times he doesn't actually take over and lets me be in my own body. But somehow he makes me blindly follow his orders with no panic nor questions in why I'm doing this or what I'm doing. I remember packing to Duelist Kingdom and everything, but it didn't feel real. Like I wasn't really in control over my own actions. It's a very strange and unpleasant experience." He shrinks upon himself, realizing all the attention was on him.

"Sort of feels like the dream where you can't run faster than a snail no matter how hard you try." He supplied lamely.

"So when he does take over? You're just unconscious?" Mai looks at the British boy with interest, eager to learn about the other Yami. "Pretty much." He agrees with a slightly-wavering voice. "It's like I'm having the deepest sleep imaginable, and out of nowhere, I'm just forced back into my body. It's so disorienting because I have no idea what's going one around me."

"Wow. I never knew that, Bakura!" Yugi says in awe.

"I don't think any of us ever did." Joey says also with wonder, while Tea and Tristan nod. "Well, you never asked." He gives out a weak smile.

"Who is he?" Mai asks another question and Ryou looks startled. "Who?"

"The spirit who takes over."

Although Yami doesn't know the British boy very well, he can tell he isn't very comfortable talking about his dark yami. It's obvious by the way he keeps shifting in the seat, and looking away from everyone. He decides to come to Ryou's rescue.

"I don't think we should be bombarding Bakura with questions just yet. I'm pretty sure as the episodes go by, we'll get an inkling towards the true persona this evil spirit embodies." The regal spirit-turned-person spoke sternly, grabbing the remote from the coffee table and pressing play again.

Yami looks over to Ryou briefly and sees him mouthing a heartfelt Thank you to him. He smiles in returns and nods.

The gang was now at the top and they could see many different duelists crowded about, among them a happy-looking Mai. "Hey, check out all the obligatory cameos. Weevil Underwood, Rex Raptor, Mako Tsunami..." Says a random duelist.

"But where's the reigning champion, Seto Kaiba?" Another duelist asked.

"Didn't you hear? He was barred from the tournament because his name wasn't stupid enough."

Seto smirks for the fist time since the episode started.

Pegasus appears at a high castle balcony, overlooking all of the competitors. "Welcome to the Duelist Kingdom! Let me assure you that this tournament is 100% genuine and is not in any way an elaborate ruse thrown together at the last minute so that I can get my hands on an Ancient Egyptian artifact." Yugi looks up angrily at the silver-haired man, clearly knowing the truth.

"Way to not be obvious."

"To advance to the finals, and the chance at three million dollars," He pulls out a star chip and displays it to his audience. "You must each win ten star chips by betting them on card games. Remember kids, gambling is good for you!" He says in a disturbingly cheerful tone.

"This show is messed up." Tristan says shaking his head. "You're barely noticing that now?" Tea snorts.

The scene cuts to a green field with lots of flowers. "Now that my cold is instantly cleared up, I can't wait to win this tournament and get the prize money!" Joey says with one star chip in his hand. "So you can pay for the operation, right?" Yugi asks him with a smile on his face.

"What operation?"

"The one your sister's getting."

Joey looks at him dumbly."...What sister?"

The original blonde groans at the idiocy of his alter.

Tea then cries out as they are walking. "Hey, it's Weevil!" Sure enough, there he was at the entrance of a forest.

"Weevil! I challenge you to a-" Yugi starts to speak but the bespectacled duelist starts to run away. "Wait a minute, he's running away!" Joey shouts and the chase ensues. "It's almost as if he doesn't want to play a card game with me." Yugi says idly as he runs after the insect-obsessed weirdo.

Finally, Weevil stops and smirks at them. "Actually, dumbass, I was just leading you into this vague trap or something." He points maniacally at Yugi with a giddy expression. "Huh-huh-huh."

"This weevil guy is really annoying." Mai complains

A close-up of the millennium puzzle is shown and it starts to glow and spin around. A bright blue light shoots up and Yugi's voice can be heard in the background. "Super Special Awesome Ultra Special Sexy Transformation Sequence GO!" He transforms into Yami.

"And here I thought my 'super special awesome' phrases were dead and gone. Nope, instead they grew more stupid than before." Yugi groans miserably.

"And did your alter just call Yami a Sexy Transformation?" Tristan guffaws, to which Yugi responded with a deadly glare.

"I'm back, baby!" Yami boasts in a proud arrogant tone.

"Dear Ra." Yami mutters in disbelief.

Weevil does not look phased. "Huh, two can play at that game, dillhole. Huh-uhum-huh." The earth suddenly starts shaking and everybody seems panicked at the fact.

"Sweet mother of Osiris, he's transforming too!" Yami exclaims as Weevil's shoulders shake back and forth and strange noises are emitting from his mouth. "But who, or what is he becoming?" He says, eyes narrowing in anticipation.

Weevil suddenly screams crazily. "I AM CORNHOLIO! I need T.P. for my bunghole! Huh-huh-huh."

"Figures they would make that joke." Yugi sighs, and Joey cackles like an idiot at the reference.

Yami looks bewildered but he pulls his poker face back on. "It's time to duel, you strange silly person." And so the duel commences. The duel monsters champion grins maniacally."Are you threatening me? I summon my Generic Insect. Huh-huh."

A large wasp-like creature appeared on the playing field, the huge black stinger pointing towards it's opponent.

"Wow, look at all the phallic imagery." Tea muses while Yami plays Horn of the Unicorn on his feral imp.

"Why in the WORLD would I pay attention to something like that!?" Tea gawks at the screen, while Joey and Tristan are snorting up a storm. Once again, Seto smirks. Ryou glances away in embarrassment.

"What are you talking about, Téa? There ain't anything remotely suspect about this duel." Joey says innocently. Yami suddenly shouts. "Now, quiver in fear, as my Knight's mighty lance penetrates your moist cocoon."

"Ohmygod, this is disgusting. Can we fast-forward? Is that possible?" Yugi squeaks, while Yami closes his eyes in such a defeated manner it almost looked like he had given up feeling horrified by what his double said. "This remote only goes play or pause." Tristan says inspecting the small insignificant device.

"Huh. I guess you're right." Tea states lightly. Just then, Mai decides to make her first official appearance in the episode, wanting to observe the duel from the sidelines.

"Hey look!" Tristan exclaims. "Breasts have arrived!"

Mai gives a feral growl, giving the brunette a murderous glare. He sweat-drops and put his hands up nervously. "Alter Tristan is an idiot, don't forget that!" He states weakly, terrified of the raging woman. She doesn't stop glaring at him but doesn't do anything against him.

"I should might as well get used to it. I think pointing out my breasts will be a recurring gag in this ridiculous show." She crosses her arms against her chest, said breasts pushing up against her low-cut shirt, still very annoyed at the fact.

"They're not even that big..." Mai mumbles under her breath, but they all heard her comment. She looks up at the others, noticing they were staring at her with slightly uncomfortable expressions. "Are they?" The question comes out of her lips before she can stop it and immediately she slaps her hands to her mouth. Everyone immediately looks away, unable to exhale, eyes wide and blushes blazing in almost all present.

"Don't answer that question!" Mai squeals out in embarrassment.

"You guys are wasting your time. Yugi doesn't stand a chance!" She passes by Tea with a look of arrogance. "He's not nearly experienced enough."

"And THAT is a clear innuendo." Seto declares.

Tea looks at her angrily and Mai looks like she's ignoring her. "Compared to friendship and compassion, experience is meaningless!"

The older woman smiles at her cockily. "Keep telling yourself that, hun. What are you, a virgin or something?"

They gasp.

"BITCH, I'LL SCRATCH YOUR EYES OUT!"

They gasp even louder in pure horror, especially Tea. Amid the disbelief and gasps, loud uproarious laughter is heard from Mai Valentine herself. Everyone looks at her in bewilderment, not sure what the hell is going on. "Oh God, that is fricking hilarious." She wheezes after a while, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Let me get this straight. You laugh and it's all good fun when Tea calls you a bitch and threatens you bodily harm, but if me and Tristan say a comment 'bout yo boobs it's World War III?!" Joey exclaims. "Talk about unfair-"

"Yes, is there a problem with that?" Mai retorts acidly.

"...N-no, Ma'm."

A furious-looking Tea is being held back by Joey who says "Could you guys stop talking about sex? I'm trying to ogle Mai's cleavage here."

Back into the duel, Yami puts down a spell card. "I activate Deus Ex Machina!" Weevil looks completely shocked by this move. "Hey, huh-huh, no fair, huh-huh, you can't use Spell Cards during my turn!"

"It wasn't his turn!" Yugi argues. "...Was it?" He wonders and tries to remember, but fails.

Yami enlarged face appears with a confident smirk. "Tell it to the writing staff."

"Do any of you dorks even notice the characters literally KNOW they're in a television show?! How is this even possible?!" Seto says aggravated. "How can an alternate universe know they're a show to be watched?"

"Summoned Skull! Destroy his cheap Mothra imitation!" Yami commanded his monster, and it immediately cut down the moth creature.

Tristan and Joey jump up with excited fists. "Yay! We were totally ineffectual!" A close up of the collapsed moth appeared, while Weevil looked at his creature in devastation. "I lost! Huh-huh... and stuff. Huh-huh."

"Maybe next time, you'll think twice before forcing someone to part with their valuables." Yami looks down at the insect aficionado who was currently on his knees.

"Now hand over your star chips and kiss my feet!" He walks to Weevil with a mildly arrogant face.

"Whoa there, Yami. Your Pharaohness is starting to show!" Joeys teases the regal duelist. Yami only closes his eyes and mutters. "I would never say that."

"Damnit! Huh-huh... this card game sucks. Huh-huh-huh." Weevil moans.

"Settle down, buttmunch." Yami says boredly.

With that, the screen goes black.

"Are you all deaf? Did you literally not hear him mention a writing staff? Also all of those jabs against Bakura not being a 'main character'. What is up with that?" Seto yells frustrated. "How the hell can this be a AU if our alters know it's a television show?"

Everyone looks at one another in confusion, not having the slightest clue with how this could be happen.


Whew, so this chapter was a lot faster and shorter than I thought. Thank God, because those 10 min YGOTAS episodes might get here at any second and that shit will take FOREVER. Send me reviews please telling me how much you enjoyed this update. It just fills my heart with beautiful butterflies :3