Author's Note

Here we get a bit of time lapse to get to the interesting points. Sorry if it confuses you at all!

Chapter Four: Bella's POV

"You are so not going to eat that." Rosalie said taking a disgusted look at my sandwich.

"She will. I saw her eat one before." Edward said equally disgusted and disbelieving as he shook his head. I poked my tongue out at my audience. Alice, Jasper and Emmett were watching as well.

"Not even I would eat that." Emmett laughed watching as I took a bite.

"You'd love it. It tastes like heaven." I sighed after taking a bite. I was just passed one and half months now and I was beginning to forget what food was normal. I was kind of getting used to the whole pregnancy thing too. It felt normal and I could deal with it.

"I didn't think heaven tasted like shit!" Emmett exclaimed before he burst out laughing.

"It doesn't." I complained trying to make them see my point of view.

"What's so amusing?" Carlisle asked as he came through the door. He had just returned home from work.

"Bella likes cream, cheese, pickles and tomato on her sandwich." Emmett explained amongst laughter.

"Bella you should eat better." Carlisle said with a frown.

"If this is what it wants that's got to be good for it, right?" I asked. A smile crept onto the corners of Carlisle's mouth and he shook his head.

"You should tell your dad. How are you going to explain your weird diet, vomiting and stop someone telling him congratulations?" Edward asked pointedly.

The odds were stacked against me and it was a miracle he hadn't found out yet. Mom would probably call soon so I'd have to tell her.

"I'll try and tell him tonight." I said trying to summon up some courage to tell Charlie.

"I'm coming with you to make sure you do." Edward said crossing his arms across his chest daring me to argue. I didn't. I'd been putting it off for long enough.

"Actually we should probably go home now. You got home late." I said looking at my watch and then Carlisle.

"Sorry there was an emergency and then I made a short detour trip on the way home. I had to pick up something from the pharmacy for you." He said handing me a bottle of pills. I looked at the label and they were prenatal vitamins. I really was going to have to tell Charlie.

"Okay let's go." I said dragging a very surprised Edward out the door.

Since Edward wasn't allowing me to drive he had picked me up and driven me here so cars weren't a problem. We hopped into his Volvo and he drove down to Charlie's.

I heard a phone ringing inside and Charlie wasn't home yet so I unlocked the door as quick as I could to answer it.

"Hello?" I said as soon as I picked up the phone.

"Hey honey what took you so long?" Mum asked on the other end of the line.

"I just got back from Edward's." I replied.

"Oh. So how was your day?" She asked.

"Ah mum I have something to tell you and I want you to remember back to one and a half months ago." I said trying to make sure she would remain calm.

"Okay." She answered her voice laced with curiosity.

"I'm pregnant. It's from that night. I'm going to have the baby and then put it up for adoption." I said calmly hoping mum would stay calm too.

"Oh honey. Did you want me to come down? Does Charlie know? What about school and college?" She asked going into mother mode.

"I don't need college. I'm going to become a kindergarten teacher. I already have it planned. School's doing okay for now. I come a bit later but I have a note from Carlisle. I'm also going to get a job to pay for all my food and stuff. Charlie doesn't know but Edward's going to make sure I tell him tonight. I'll be okay you don't have to come down." I said answering all of her questions.

"We're happy to help you honey. We'll pay for any food or medical expenses. It's good to know Edward will be there for you. I'll come down for the birth. I want to be there. When are you due?" Mum asked.

'Ummm… I haven't had the chance to ask Carlisle but you know when it was conceived." I answered.

"Hmmm… Tell me next time I call you. I wish I were there. You can't be feeling well." Mum sympathised.

"I'm okay. So long as I don't do anything too out there I'm okay. Mornings are hell though until I'm on the bus. There's another woman who catches my bus that was, attacked. She's pregnant too. She's been really helpful." I said.

It was easy speaking to mum and not having to hide in my own home. Mum told me a few tips that were worth a try.

By the time the conversation was done it was dark outside and Charlie was due home any minute.

I searched the kitchen for the recipe from Grandma Swan that Charlie liked so much. I needed something to soften him up first. I was so anxious. Edward kept reminding me that I had nothing to be afraid of but I didn't believe him.

I was halfway through cooking the recipe when Charlie came home.

"Hey Bella." Charlie said as he hung his jacket on the door.

"Hey dad. Have fun today?" I asked. He had been out fishing because of the weekend (Hence why Rose, Em and Jasper were home).

"Yeah. Didn't catch anything though." He grumbled.

"Dinner smells good." He commented, as he smelled what I was cooking. I shrugged. The sandwich I had at the Cullen's was more appetising.

"You staying for dinner?" Charlie asked when he saw Edward. Charlie didn't mind Edward too much so long as he didn't stay too late.

"Depends." Edward said looking to me.

"Yeah, he is." I said.

I served dinner, which Edward stayed for. I was washing the dishes while Charlie and Edward sat at the table. It was a very awkward scenario. Perfect opportunity I thought.

"I just wish we had some DNA evidence on the guys that attacked you that night." Charlie said breaking the silence. I didn't even want to know the train of thought that had led him to say that sentence.

"We do but only for one." I sighed taking the perfect God given opportunity.

"What do you mean? Bells, you aren't?…" Charlie asked trailing off.

"I'm pregnant." I said quietly.

"You aren't going to keep it though. I mean you haven't even had morning sickness yet." Charlie stammered.

"I've had morning sickness for just over two weeks. I was just working up to telling you. I'm going to have it and put it up for adoption." I said. Charlie's face turned red.

"Bells. What about College? Are you sure this is what you want?" Charlie asked almost pleading.

"Yes, I've thought about it." I answered simply rather than go into detail.

Charlie's face returned back to its normal colour but he didn't look happy.

"If it's what you want. I guess I'll support your decision." Charlie sighed.

"Thank you dad." I said.

"Can Edward stay the night? It's late and it's Sunday tomorrow." I asked not expecting much.

"You just told me you're pregnant and then you ask if you could have a boy sleep over?" Charlie asked incredulously.

"One, the pregnancy isn't my choice and two because of the pregnancy you can be damn sure nothing will happen." I argued.

"Fine, but if I hear anything, anything at all, you're out." Charlie said shooting a look at Edward.

"Promise." I said solemnly before taking Edward's hand and going up the stairs.

"I'll be right down here." Charlie warned. I ignored him.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." I said as I sat Edward on the edge of my bed.

When I came back from the bathroom I saw Edward reading my book.

"I never really got this book before." He said as he heard me enter the room.

"Hmmm…" I murmured.

"I called Carlisle and Esme." He said as I got under the covers.

"Hmmm…" I murmured again.

Edward got under the covers and took off his pants leaving his boxers. He wrapped his arm around my waist and I bit my lip hesitantly as I knew I needed to tell him something that would probably send him running.

"Ever since that night I've had nightmares. You probably shouldn't touch me when I wake up. Just let me know you're there by talking first." I said.

"Okay." Edward said calmly and agreeably. I guess he figured it could be worse. He knew what the nightmares were about.

I listened to him hum a soothing melody and I fell asleep quickly. I had no nightmare that night. Knowing Edward's arms were around me protecting me and hearing his beautiful humming kept them away. I had my first night of peaceful sleep.

Too bad that when I woke in the morning the first thing I did was run straight to the toilet.

I felt a set of hands pulling my hair back as I threw up in the toilet.

"And what was your plan for today?" Edward asked sarcastically.

"It'll be gone in an hour or so. Then I'm going to go job searching." I said after I felt a bit better and I was sure I wasn't going to vomit.

It took longer than I expected to be ready to go job hunting. I was looking out the window when I saw Newton's outfitters. Mike's parents owned it. I didn't like Mike, he used to follow me around like a lost puppy until I made it very clear that Edward and I are an item and that he didn't have a chance in hell of ever being with me. I didn't mind his parent's though so I told Edward to pull over.

"I'll try here." I said indicating the shop. Edward pulled over and we got out.

I saw Mrs Newton standing behind the counter. She didn't look like the sort of person you would expect to work here. She had a floral dress, heels; bleach blonde hair, whitened teeth and manicured nails.

"Hi, Mrs Newton." I said as I came up to the counter.

"Hello Bella. How can I help you?" She asked.

"I was looking for a job actually." I replied fiddling with the hem of my shirt.

Edward was looking at some product in one of the aisles. His family often went camping. They had a lot of supplies.

"We'd love to have your help." Mrs Newton said enthusiastically.

"There's just one thing." I said wondering if the hem of my shirt would rip.

"I've heard the rumours. Can't believe it's true. We can discuss maternity leave in a few months." Mrs Newton said warmly.

"Thank you." I said looking into Mrs Newton in sincere thanks.

"You're a very brave girl for going through with it." Mrs Newton said encouragingly.

"When did you want me?" I asked.

"Just on the weekend and after school on Thursday." Mrs Newton decided.

"Okay. I'll see you on Thursday." I said.

"See you Bella." Mrs Newton said as I went over to Edward.

"I have a job." I announced brightly.

"And with time to spare." Edward cheered.

"Did you want to go back to my house? I think Rosalie was enjoying watching you entertain Emmett." Edward laughed.

"Sure. We wouldn't want to deprive Emmett of anything would we now?" I answered sarcastically rolling my eyes.

Edward drove back to the Cullen's and we came in just in time for lunch. I thought I could keep it down so I tried some. It was really nice. It needed some cream on it but other than that it was fine. Esme just shook her head when I made the suggestion. Carlisle was just happy that I was eating right.

Carlisle also asked whether I was taking the prenatal vitamins. I told him I had taken them but that I had probably vomited them up. He suggested that I take them at night. I told him I had been a bit busy and preoccupied with telling Charlie. They were glad that he finally knew. I also said that I had told mum.

Speaking of mum reminded me of the question that I had to ask Carlisle. He said I was due September 20th.

It was good to talk about something different than Mark. I didn't even think of him, almost.

There was this small part in the back of my head that constantly wondered where he was and what he was doing. It always worried me. I couldn't help but wonder what a despicable creature like that did by day. Part of the baby was him too so I wondered about him often.

After speaking with Charlotte I was very intrigued about my two-month check up. I didn't know if I wanted to hear this baby's heartbeat or see the baby. Charlotte wasn't going to be catching the bus for much longer; she was going on maternity leave. I exchanged numbers with her so that I could call her and invite her to the baby shower if Alice was still planning one. It seemed inevitable like most of Alice's plans.

"It'll be okay." Edward encouraged as I sat in the waiting room breathing deeply. It was like I was already in labour, urgh labour.

"Bella." Carlisle called motioning for us to follow him into the room. I saw the ultrasound machine.

I remembered what happened when I felt Charlotte's baby move. What if that happened today? I had been doing so well and I couldn't let Edward see me like that. I knew today would definitely make it more real that I could see and hear the baby inside me.

"Any questions or concerns?" Carlisle asked.

"Ummm... How do I go about adopting?" I asked.

"Just fill out this form. I'll send it off and someone will get in contact with you." Carlisle said handing me a sheet of paper.

Carlisle and Edward waited patiently as I filled out all my details. I didn't know how to fill in some of the details on the father. Carlisle told me he would deal with that for me later. I handed back the form.

"Okay, if there's nothing else. I'll get you to lie up here for me." Carlisle said motioning to the bed.

I lay on the bed and pulled my shirt up.

"This is going to be cold." Carlisle warned as he put icky gel stuff on my stomach. I took a deep breath and felt my heartbeat accelerate.

Carlisle placed the Doppler on my stomach and I heard a strong thudding beat that was my heart.

"It's okay Bella." Carlisle said as he heard my accelerated heartbeat. I couldn't be calmed down not now.

"Okay here we are." Carlisle said positioning the Doppler.

I looked at the screen and saw a tiny whitish grey fleck amongst the black. That was it. That was my baby. I wanted to cry. It was real. It was there. It was mine. It was so small.

"And the heartbeat." Carlisle said adjusting some dials and we heard a faster softer beat.

I couldn't hate it. How could anyone hate something that small? Its tiny heartbeat thudded rhythmically.

"Are you alright Bella?" Carlisle asked when I didn't say anything.

"I'm fine." I said and I was.

I was still going to put it up for adoption though. I was sure I couldn't handle being a mother especially to a kid that would remind me every day of that monster.

"Okay. Here you go." Carlisle said handing me a bunch of tissues to wipe the gel of my stomach. He hung the Doppler back on the machine and I wiped off my stomach.

"I'll see you again in another month." Carlisle said and I went out to the front desk to make the appointment.

The jeans wouldn't fit me. I was sure they had fit me the other day but maybe I had been wrong. I tried the zipper and groaned again in frustration. These were my more comfortable jeans. The other ones had definitely stopped fitting me a couple of days ago.

I glared down at my unobtrusive stomach. You wouldn't even know I was pregnant, at three months, but I couldn't fit my damn jeans.

I gave up and found a pair of old sweats. I knew what I had to do now and I knew I was not going to like it one bit. I was going to have to ask Rosalie and Alice to take me shopping. I was on my way to the Cullen's anyway.

"Yes, yes, yes!" Alice exclaimed clapping her hands and jumping up and down like a crazy person.

"Limits Alice." I said trying to get her back under control.

"Only jeans and four pair's maximum. If you take me to a maternity clothes shop I will have to kill you." I said when she ignored me.

"You're no fun." She pouted coming back to her senses.

"Neither are you." I laughed.

My good mood was probably due to the fact that I hadn't been vomiting or nauseous for a couple of days now.

We were taking Rosalie's convertible and we went only to the local shopping centre. I didn't know if I could ever return to Port Angeles.

"What about these?" Rosalie asked holding up a pair of jeans.

"They're nice." Alice said giving them her seal of approval.

"Fine." I said grabbing them.

I'd gone up two sizes and was trying to find a pair that fit me lengthwise as well as around the waist. It was very frustrating.

I tried them on and to my pleasant surprise they fit perfectly and they made the fourth pair. I could get out of this torture.

"They fit. Let's go." I announced as I came out of the changing rooms. Alice frowned and I could tell she was about to argue.

"Don't even think about it." I warned before she even had the chance to open her mouth. I went up to the register and paid for the jeans. Rosalie and Alice offered to pay for me but I wouldn't let them. I had my job at Newton's outfitters anyway.

After we left the store Rosalie drove us back to the house and we sat around talking some more. I still hadn't gotten a reply back from the adoption agency yet and I was getting worried the others kept assuring me everything was going to be okay except for Alice who had plans to set up a permanent nursery.

I told Carlisle and Esme not to let her near the spare room while I wasn't there to guard it myself. They laughed but agreed.

I got increasingly anxious, as the weather got warmer and warmer. Now that I was feeling better in the morning I was going to school on time again and Edward was picking me up and driving me there as usual. It had been Charlotte's last bus trip too.

I was starting to show and the weather was getting warmer. That would be just my luck. I wouldn't be able to hide behind huge sweaters. Eventually my news jeans stopped fitting me and I gave in and let Alice buy me some maternity pants. I hid them behind huge sweaters as well but I didn't know how long I could keep that up.

It got worse when my bump started pushing against the cotton in my shirts. I knew all this was inevitable but it was finally here.

Exams came and I didn't know if I could do this. I had one month of school left. Surely, I could make it. I worked hard and tried to keep a balance, which wasn't as hard as I had thought. I kept up with everything. I was pretty smart or so I'd been told which probably helped me keep up.

It still worried me though. Under my sweater I was wearing a shirt that accentuated the bump. There wasn't a shirt that didn't nowadays. And I was sweltering in the sweater. I only had a few more weeks of this to go. I could make it I encouraged myself.

"Bella, just take of the sweater." Alice said completely unsympathetic as I complained.

"You're probably warmer than everyone else anyway." Alice added. She was right. Whenever I was with the Cullen's I felt the heat more than they did.

"Fine but you're standing in front of me." I whimpered.

"No, I'm not." Alice said defiantly shaking her head.

I debated with myself. I was boiling. It was right near the end of spring. Surely I wasn't as big as I thought I was. Was I brave enough to do it? A part of my mind just wanted to rip the sweater off and the other part wanted me to run away and hide. Why did I always seem to have to completely different sides in my head? Right, because I was a wuss.

"Damn you Alice." I hissed under my breath as I pulled of the sweater. I felt a lot cooler but I could see people staring already. We were at lunch. I watched as the people that had seen me take off my sweater pointed and told their friends. I felt like biting their fingers off.

"It's rude to point." Alice called out to the people that were pointing. They withdrew their fingers but the whispers kept up. I wished I could thank Alice but I didn't really owe her much at this point. She owed me.

"You look beautiful." Edward promised rubbing his hand across my back.

"Thank you." I said as I looked down at my obvious baby bump. Why did people care so much?

I gave Edward a kiss on the cheek to show my appreciation.

Things didn't get easier during the last two weeks of school. I still got stares. I wanted to just run and hide but I knew that wasn't possible. I needed to find a way to get through the last two weeks.

It didn't help that Edward and Alice were going off to college. I wanted to go with them just for something to do. I knew I'd have a job but I would be all alone, or potentially with a newborn baby the way the adoption process was going.

I concentrated on the fact that I was closer to getting the paternity test to keep my mind from the dark thoughts surrounding college and school.

The paternity test gave me some small hope, which was really good at this moment in time.