Legolas.
One moment I am in the sea with Elladan and the next he is gone, torn from me, his hand disappearing from mine. I do not know what is happening all I know is that I am alone, alone with the sea. Though I cry his name he does not answer.
I am bereft.
The sea is strange. It is not the torrent of anger it was earlier, it is less. I do not understand it but it is a relief and I float dazed and confused until reality accosts me.
When I open my eyes the light is glaring and I have no idea where I am, it is a room but where? Faces dance before me but I cannot make sense of them then Elladan is there, right in front of me. He cups my face with his hands.
"Are you there Legolas? Are you safe?" He asks and his voice is thick, he stumbles over words.
I try to answer but I can make no sound nor find the words within my head so I nod, even that is an effort. I wonder what has happened and he hugs me to him.
Aragorn is there I realise and he is angry, so angry but I don't know why. He shouts at Elladan, calls him a fool. I listen as they berate each other wondering all the time what it is all about. Does it have anything to do with me?
"How long have you had the sealonging?" Aragorn asks and I realise he must have found us. Something has happened so he knows, he knows Elladan's secret.
Then I hear words that chill me to the bone,
"Where is Elrohir?" Elladan asks and Aragorn replies that he has gone.
If Elrohir has discovered his brothers sea longing it will be a disaster, it will destroy him. I struggle to communicate but it is so hard. I cannot make my mouth work.
"Go to him!" I try to tell Elladan, "Follow him, save him!" I do not know if he hears me so I try to push him away but even my arms won't work as I want. I think he gets the message for he leaves me, I am cold and lonely without his warmth by my side, and so confused.
I turn my gaze to Aragorn sitting beside me,
"You are such a fool Legolas." He says, "What were you thinking?" I want to tell him that the sea had been so loud, so cruel that I could think of nothing else but I cannot manage it.
"Nothing..." Is the word I manage to strangle from my disobedient tongue.
"Nothing is right!" he sighs, "Do you have any idea how dangerous this was, what you and Elladan were doing. How could you let him do this?"
"I do it too." It is a miracle I can get more than one word together. I want to let him know this is something we have both done, it is not Elladan's fault. In the end it is just too hard, trying to talk, trying to think and I shut my eyes. I do not want to look at his accusing face. It hurts me.
I hear a door open, and someone enters the room, then their footsteps stop.
"What has happened?" It is a voice of alarm, it is Glorfindel.
"Elladan and Legolas have been playing with fire." Aragorn says, "Did you know of this? Did you know he has the sea longing?"
"Of course I knew. Where is Elladan?!" There is fear behind his voice.
"With Elrohir...who is a mess. Do not worry Glorfindel, he is in a better state than Legolas."
And I think to myself he is wrong, for it is as if my sea has drained away and there is only one place it can have gone, to Elladan.
I feel Glorfindel kneel down beside me. He takes my head from the stone against which it rests and places it on his shoulder. It is so comforting and I sigh,
"He has taken the sea," I try to tell him but it is a whisper and I do not think he understands.
Glorfindel strokes my hair and I lie against him listening to their talk. I am numb and oh so tired. I do not have the strength to contribute.
"Did you know what they have been doing?" Aragorn asks, his voice tinged with frustration.
"I knew, we have spoken of it."
"And you have allowed it?"
"It is not for me to stop it, as it was not for me to tell you or Elrohir his secret. I should have stayed here today though, I should have done that."
"They were lost when I found them!" Aragorn says accusingly. "It was nearly impossible to reach him."
"You broke the bond?" Glorfindel sounds alarmed. "You should not have done that Aragorn. It is dangerous in itself. No wonder the boy is in such a state."
"I was not thinking clearly," he is defensive now, "If I had known what I was seeing...it would have been more helpful!"
They lapse into silence and lying there against Glorfindel in the quiet I almost fall asleep.
"I have never heard of this." It is Aragorn and he is calmer, "I have studied long," he says, "if there is a book on the sea longing then I have read it, both here and in Minas Tirith. I have tried to find out everything I can to help Legolas but I have never heard of a link through the sea longing such as this."
I did not know he had done that. I did not know he had gone to such lengths to try and help me. I believed Aragorn hid from my sea longing because it caused him pain but it seems he has been on a crusade to save me from it. It is a revelation.
"I do not believe it is the sea longing" Glorfindel says, "It is Elladan. I too have done research and that is the conclusion I have come to."
I listen with interest. What does he mean? Aragorn repeats my very question.
"What do you mean?"
"Look at his bloodline Aragorn. Elrond, Galadriel, Elwing, Luthien. He forms this link between the two of them."
"You are wrong," I hear disbelief in his voice, "Arwen has some ability but Elladan and Elrohir never had, they cannot use their minds that way."
"They can and they do, they have power...between themselves, they have always had that. The sea longing has caused Elladan to reach out, to create this connection with Legolas, possibly he has always been able to do this but has only just discovered it."
Strangely Aragorn asks the very question that was forming in my mind.
"Legolas gave me the impression it was a two way thing, that he could do this as well and he has no power of mind speech."
I feel Glorfindel nod beside me,"That confused me too." He says, "but I think the link is all through Elladan. Legolas can connect because Elladan allows it."
I wonder if he is right.
"You need to ask yourself Aragorn," Glorfindel is stern now and disapproving, "Why he did not come to you with this. What have you done that he felt he must hide it. It is not Elladan you should be angry with but yourself."
He leans over me then and tilts my head upwards so he can see into my eyes,
"Are you with us Legolas?" He asks.
"Yes." Just the uttering of one word exhausts me, I feel washed clean, as if the bleeding away of my sea has left nothing behind. I open my eyes and see him frowning down at me with concern. He brushes the hair from my eyes.
"All is not well with you still."
"I am tired." And I am so very, very, tired.
"Come on then child, I will put you to bed." He hoists me up and standing is not easy. If it were not for Glorfindel I would surely fall. I see Aragorn watching, he reaches out a hand to steady me.
"I am sorry," I say, "I did not mean this."
He does not answer me and Glorfindel leads me away.
I don't remember how Glorfindel gets me to my room. Nor do I remember him putting me to bed but I sleep. I do not think I have ever been as tired as this, bone achingly tired. Even keeping my eyes open is a struggle.
I wake once and I am not sure what time it is or how long I have slept. There are voices above me talking softly but I do not have the energy to open my eyes instead I lay there floating, listening. It is Elladan and Glorfindel.
"How are you?" Glorfindel asks and his voice is tender with concern.
"I have recovered," Elladan sounds to my ears unnaturally bright. "I admit it was dislocating at first, not the most pleasant experience."
"and now?"
"I am well Glorfindel, do not worry." But I know he lies, my sea has disappeared, it must have gone somewhere, it must be with him. I should let Glorfindel know I think but it feels as if my eyelids are weighed down with lead. I cannot open them.
"I am worried about him though," he continues. "This sleep is unnatural, he does not recover as I do. When I first saw him, he was not there. His eyes were blank. I thought I had lost him."
"He is here now I assure you," Glorfindel sounds calm and reassuring compared to Elladan's tense anxiety.
"I spoke to him before bringing him here, it was absolutely Legolas. I wonder if this is just an after effect of all he has suffered? He was not well when he arrived here. He tried to hide it but I am not fooled as easily as that."
"Yet when we met him yesterday morning he seemed his old self." Elladan was puzzled,"That was no act."
"I wonder," Glorfindel mused, "If he has not recovered from the loss of Thranduil."
I feel his hand rest gently upon my forehead and it reminds me so much of my father I want to weep.
They continue to talk and it might be of me, I do not know for their voices grow distant and indistinct and I cannot hear them. Instead I drift upon waves of sleep and my mind is filled with images of my Father. I wish I could see him, I wish I could speak with him, but he is not that far away I realise. He is only across the sea. I can reach him, I could go now if I wished, I could go tomorrow and I find I do wish it.
I wish it more than anything.
