Chapter 3: Always

November 1, 1981

I clutched Harry to my chest to protect against a chill. He whimpered in protest. I loosened up, but only a little. I breathed in a jagged breath as I caught sight of a sign: Privet Drive.

'...I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen- 'She caught her sister's hand and held tight to it, even though Petunia tried to pull it away.' Maybe once I'm there – no, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I'm there I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!'

'I don't- want – to – go!' said Petunia, and she dragged her hand back out of her sister's grasp. 'You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a – a-'

Her pale eyes roved over the platform, over the cats mewling in their owners' arms, over the owls fluttering and hooting at each other in the cages, over the students, some already in their long, black robes, loading trunks onto the scarlet steam engine or else greeting one another with glad cries after a summer apart.

'- you think I want to be a – a freak?'

I shook my head to get rid of the memory. I couldn't have her mad at me. Not know. I needed her. I desperately needed a sister to listen to me and to just be there.

I walked up to Number 4. Everything looked just like Tuney would want it. Utterly dull. No that was a mean thought. It was just very organized.

I knocked on the door softly a part of myself scared and the other desperate. After waiting a few moments I knocked harder.

"Hello?" A woman opened the door and stopped immediately.

"Petunia." I sighed in relief. She suddenly tried to close the door. "No! Tuney, please listen to me."

"I don't want to hear it. I don't care about your freak life." She said strangely sounding like a little girl instead of the grown woman that she was.

"Petunia please." I begged close to tears. "I just need to talk to you. I just-"

She closed the door. I stared at the closed door choking on my unshed tears. What was I going to do? I didn't have money to keep paying the house I had lived in Severus. I had a child that needed me here in my arms and an empty heart burning in my chest.

"What are we going to do Harry?" I whispered to my now asleep son.

I raked through my mind trying to find someone I could talk to. I have never been a very social person but there were times that you needed people. In my current state I could not think of anyone so I decided to head for London. I needed to be in the magical world.

~~ /(|)\ ~~

In a daze, I apparited in front of the Leaky Cauldron instead of inside of it. I stated to go in when I noticed movement in the bookshop neighboring it. My slow eyes caught a glimpse of frizzy dark hair. It stuck my memory enough to motivate me to walk in warily.

"Hello?" I asked softly not sure if I wanted a answer.

"Yes?" A girl stepped behind a book shelf. She had dark frizzy hair carelessly puled into a rubber band. Her large hair around her face made it look small. Her large round glasses made it even smaller. Her unflattering clothes hung to her wiry frame. Yet she couldn't have been the most beautiful being in the universe at the moment. "Lily? Is that you?"

"Linda." I breathed almost at breaking point. "Linda McGregor."

"Lily, are you all right?"

That question broke me.

I watched with wide eyes as Lord Voldemort crumbled with horrible pain. My mind was being too slow for what I was seeing. The dreadful smoke left Voldemort behind and came for Severus. My mind was at least fast enough to recognize danger. I opened my mouth, not sure if anything came out. Severus turned to look at me. He bravely stood there as the smoke swirled around his ankles.

I rushed to him as he fell to the ground in obvious pain.I didn't even fear the smoke around him as I knelt by him. I cradled his head over my lap.

"Severus" I anxiously searched his face. "No Severus."

"I love you." He said with alarming weakness. "I love Harry. Tell him … it was for him. For you."

"Severus … please" I bit back tears.

"I want you to be happy ... Find Potter … I know he will make you happy." He tried to smile but failed."He will love you … and Harry."

"Severus, don't even think that. I love you." I shook my head."Don't. Don't go" I mumbled like a fearful child who didn't want to accept what was happening.

"I will … always … be here … with you" He tried to reach for my face but couldn't go far so I brought my face to his raised hand. " Always"

"Severus." I choked out.

"Look...at...me." Green found black. The hand holding Lily thudded to the floor, and Snape moved no more.


Chapter Song: Hello by Evanescence (because Lily knows she isn't dreaming, she is all that is left of yesterday.)

Quote in Chapter Title: The Deathly Hallows, Chapter 33: The Prince's Tale