Chapter 4

They walked in the front door and Harry started to say something but before he could she flung herself into his arms and started crying. He didn't say anything, he just held her while she wept. He realized that while she'd gotten angry she hadn't yet allowed herself to break down. Probably because she didn't feel safe at the burrow and didn't want to further alarm her parents but now that they were alone and safe she couldn't hold it in anymore. He could imagine what she was feeling because he was feeling it to. The sheer horror of realizing that two years their lives had not been their own. Fear of what could have happened had they not broken free; a life spent trapped behind a haze of false memories and feelings being married and possibly having children with someone you didn't love while the one you did love was suffering the same fate and being powerless to do anything about it. Anger at being taken advantage of and used but mostly sadness at finding out it was the person you trusted and cared about most in the world that had done it to you.

He comforted her silently until she started to calm down.

"I'm so sorry," He said into her hair.

"For what?" she asked softly.

"For not being able to control myself," he responded. "That night in the common room. If I had, I wouldn't have kissed you and he-"

She pushed back from him her eyes flaring in anger.

"Are you telling me you wish we'd never kissed!?" she asked her voice rising a hurt expression on her face.

"Of course not!" He answered quickly. "I told you what it meant to me. I'm just referring to the timing of it that's all. If I'd finished my paper sooner or been able to get over my fear quicker and kiss you earlier or if I'd waited a few more minutes until he went back up to bed, he'd never have seen us and you wouldn't have suffered because of me."

"You listen you me Harry Potter!" She said using one finger to poke him in the chest while she talked. "We've just spent the last few hours convincing people we love not to blame themselves for what happened because it's not their fault and I'm not going to let you blame yourself either. Ron and Ginny are to blame and no one else. We weren't cheating on them. We were free to do what we wanted because they were too cowardly to take a chance and let us know they fancied us. We gave them plenty of opportunities and they squandered them. We were under no obligation to wait for them forever and at no time do I recall either of us giving any indication that we were." She stopped poking him and reached up to caress his face before continuing in a more gentle voice.

"That night was the best night of my life too Harry. It was the first time I went to bed truly happy and not feeling like I was missing out on something everyone around me seemed to have in abundance. Every girl in the dorm seemed to have a boyfriend to tell stories about except me and I was looking forward to having my own stories to tell. I wasn't altogether certain if I was going to tell them to the other girls or keep them for myself, but I'd have them and with the most sought after boy in school too. As for Ron, he probably would have done it no matter when he found out so, at best, you probably would have only delayed it a couple days at the most. As a result, it might have taken a few more days to break free and I'd be Mrs. Ronald Weasely right now with him doing things to me I'd rather not think about."

"Me neither," Harry replied making a disgusted face then turned serious. "I guess you're right it's just, when I think of him having control of both of us and what he could have done to you with me powerless to stop it, I can't help thinking that there was something I should have been able to do. For over two years, you were victimized and I failed to save you from it. You needed my help and I failed you."

He stopped speaking as his own emotions overwhelmed him and his own tears started flowing. Hermione pulled him into her arms and spoke softly into his ear as she comforted him.

"You were victimized too Harry," She soothed. "You had to free yourself before you could help me. You got to me as soon as you could. You didn't fail me Harry because I'm here with you and we're free."

After they'd calmed down from the flood of emotion they'd released, they made their way to the sitting room and sat silently in each other's arms and began the process of recovering from their ordeal in the comfort of each other's touch. They stayed there until it was very late then decided to head to bed. As they got up Harry realized she was still in her wedding dress.

"You were stunning in that dress today." Harry said simply. "Too bad you put it on for nothing."

"It beats the alternative," she replied smiling. "Besides, the way you were looking at me made it all worth it. No one's ever made me feel as beautiful as you did today."

She kissed him then took hold of his hand as they walked out of the sitting room. They got to the foot of the stairs when something occurred to him.

"Most of your clothes are still at the burrow aren't they?" He asked her.

"Yeah," she answered. "But I can find something to make do with tonight and go from there in the morning."

"I'll get them for you now," he said shaking his head. "You've made do enough recently; I'm not letting you do it anymore."

"Harry," she pleaded. "I don't want to be left here alone and I can't bear the thought of walking back into that house tonight."

He reached up and caressed her face soothingly.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her. "Kreacher!" he called out to thin air.

Kreacher appeared a second later and bowed before him.

"What can Kreacher do for you master," he asked.

"If you don't mind Kreacher, I'd like it if you would do me a favor," Harry responded. "This is not an order mind you but simply a request so you don't have to do it if you don't want to and I promise I won't be upset with you. Hermione is staying over but she doesn't have any clothes here. They're all at the burrow. I would be grateful if you would go get them and put them upstairs in the room across from mine. If you were busy or were sleeping or don't feel up to it, that's okay. We can make do for tonight and make arrangements to have them sent over tomorrow. It's up to you."

"Master is too kind to Kreacher," He answered bowing again. "Kreacher is here to serve. Kreacher will be happy to do this for you."

With that he disappeared and Harry turned back to Hermione to find her giving him a stern look.

"What?" He asked. "I asked him to do me a favor, I didn't order him. I gave him the choice to do it or not."

Her expression softened into a smile.

"You handled it quite well," she agreed. "But as late as it is, he may have been sleeping. You shouldn't have disturbed him. I would have been fine waiting until the morning."

"You've waited long enough," He said pulling her close. "It's time you started getting everything you've been waiting for."

"I already have," she replied. "I've got you."

By the time they got to their rooms Hermione's things were already there. Harry kissed her goodnight and watched her enter her room and close the door then headed across the hall to his own room and went to bed. He lay in bed with the day's events repeating themselves in his head and found he couldn't sleep. He was still awake almost an hour later when he heard a soft knock at the door.

"Harry?" Hermione's muffled voice called from outside the door. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he called out while sitting up. "Come on in."

She opened the door and light from the hallway flooded into the room causing him to squint momentarily while his eyes adjusted. When he was able to look at her, he notice that she was no longer wearing the wedding dress but now stood there in a robe that most likely covered her bed clothes. The light turned the front of her into a darkened silhouette so he wasn't able to see her face.

"Is something wrong," he asked concerned.

She didn't answer right away. She closed the door submerging the room in darkness again then crossed the room and sat down on the edge of the bed. He reached out and started caressing her upper arm and almost immediately she flung herself into his arms and started crying.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he said worriedly as he wrapped his arms around her, one hand gently stroking the back of her head and getting tangled in her hair until she calmed down.

"I-it's nothing," she answered with her face buried in his chest. "I feel better now. I shouldn't have bothered you."

She continued to cling to him showing no signs of wanting to move.

"You're never a bother Hermione," he replied. "Now tell me why you were upset."

"I just had a bad dream," she said finally. She'd turned her head sideways and was now rested it against his chest like it was a pillow. "It freaked me out a little and I overreacted that's all."

"So tell me about it." He said now gently caressing the side of her face with his fingers.

"It's silly Harry," she responded. "Really it is. You need your rest, honestly I'm fine."

She still did not move.

"But you're already here," he protested. "And I'm wide awake. Silly or not, it upset you. I think it might help if you talked about it."

"Okay," she said finally. "Well, I'd just gotten into bed and closed my eyes when the door opened. I turned expecting to see you but instead it was Ron. He had a crazy look in his eyes. I didn't know if he'd cast a spell on me or if I was merely petrified with fear but suddenly I couldn't move. He started laughing then he spoke. 'Did you really think you could get away from me? You were never free, you will never be free'. Then he came over to the bed and touched my face. I tried to pull away but I still couldn't move. Then he spoke again. 'You belong to me Hermione and you always will. So does Harry. I think I'll move in here, into the master suite of course, so I can keep a closer watch over both of you. You know you left before we consummated our marriage. I know you were looking forward to it but I think I'll make you wait for it a little longer to let your anticipation build as punishment for leaving me at the altar. At least you didn't sully yourself with him; I'll credit you with that much. At least you knew to stay pure for me.'

Then he got up and headed to the door before turning back towards me and saying. 'Harry won't be able to save you this time. I'm afraid this time I've permanently destroyed any feelings he ever had for you and most of his memories. He's still across the hall but he probably won't recognize you if he even let's you in. Even if he does, he'll never let you near him again. In time, you'll both be little more than my slaves like those little house elves you're so fond of and you'll be just as eager to please me. I'd say don't go anywhere but we both know you can't. I'll be back soon.' With that he left and closed the door. I closed my eyes and tried to will myself to move and the next thing I knew I was sitting up in bed, the room empty and the door closed. I think part of me knew it had only been a dream but I couldn't shake the fear that it was real and that he'd just left the room. Only way I knew I could find out for sure was to come see you. I carefully opened my bedroom door and peeked into the hallway. I saw it was empty and practically ran to your door. When you let me in and seemed to recognize me I was pretty confident it had just been a dream but I had to be sure so I moved to the bed to see if you would pull away. When you reached for me I broke down in relief. The thing that scared me the most wasn't what Ron said he was going to do to me but the thought of you pulling away from me and never touching me again. I don't think I could've lived without it."

She started crying again and buried her face in his chest once more. He comforted her again trying to send her all the assurance he could through his touch.

"You're never going to have to find out," he told her soothingly. "I'm not going anywhere. That didn't sound silly to me, in fact, it sounded downright terrifying but it's probably to be expected. You've had quite a day. You may not want to hear this but you should try to go back to sleep. I know that's probably not a happy thought for you right now. Believe me, I know. I had a nightmare the first night I was free too."

"What was yours about?" She asked, the side of her head was once again lying against his chest.

"I was at the burrow I think," He started. "I was on my knees at Ginny's feet, a collar around my neck with a chain attached to it. The other end of the chain was in her hand. The other Weaselys were there except you and Ron. Ginny made me do dog tricks for them; Heal, sit up and beg, roll over, that sort of thing. They all applauded at how well she had me trained. Then Ron brought you in and tried to make you do the same tricks but you either did them wrong or were doing the wrong ones so he started beating you every time you made a mistake. Finally he stopped trying to make you do tricks and just beat you continuously." He felt his eyes water as he continued. "You were screaming out in pain and begging me to help you and I tried, really I did, but every time I tried to get to you, Ginny would order me to stay by her and suddenly I couldn't move. The worst part was the look in your eyes when you realized I wasn't going to help you. I saw the betrayal in your eyes and knew that I'd failed you. Ron hit you again and you screamed my name then I woke up screaming yours. I'd had nightmares before but that was by far the worst one I'd ever had. Your expression when I let you down haunted me and made me work harder to free you."

"Harry," she said reaching up to caress his face. "That's one expression you'll never see from me because, if there's one thing I'm sure of, you'd die trying before ever letting me down."

"That's always been my intention," he responded. "But I never counted on my head and heart being controlled by one of my best friends. It scares me to think about what he could have or might have done to you these last two years. I mean, did you and he ever.."

He trailed off as he lost the nerve to complete the question.

"Would it make a difference to you if we had?" she asked cautiously.

"Only that there would be another crime to add to his list," he answered her. "Not to mention I'd have a strong desire to castrate the bastard for taking advantage of you. It wouldn't change how I felt about you if that's what you're asking."

"No," she replied sounding relieved. "We snogged some obviously but that's as far as we went. How about you and Ginny?"

"The same," Harry answered. "Despite the potion making me think I was in love with her, I never wanted to go beyond snogging but she never tried to get me to either nor did she accuse me of not finding her attractive. She seemed happy just to be with me. Did Ron ever try to push you into going further?"

"Yeah," she responded. "But he never tried to force me. I guess he figured he owned me so he could be patient."

Silence fell between them for a few moments until she broke it.

"Harry?" She asked.

"Yeah," he answered.

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" She asked.

"Well..I..Er," Harry started at a loss for words.

"Just sleeping Harry," she said chuckling lightly. "I wasn't referring to what we were talking about."

"Good," he responded. "I'm glad."

"Oh, okay," she said softly and he could hear the hurt in her voice.

"No, it's not like that," he said quickly. "Believe me, I'm definitely interested in you that way especially with you here in my bed with me but I don't think we're ready to take that step yet. If and when we do take that step, I think it should be at the right time and for the right reasons and tonight isn't it. We're just starting to recover from an ordeal and I don't think our heads are completely clear right now. Probably won't be for some time. The last two years weren't real for us. It was our bodies but we were trapped inside while someone else's version of us made all the choices romantically and had all the experiences. That wasn't us snogging Ron and Ginny but the things possessing us. For me, last night wasn't the night before the wedding, but that night in the common room in sixth year when we shared our first kiss. It took over two years but we've finally woken up and realized that it was real and not a dream and kissed again. Nothing in between is real to me at least in regards to that part of my life. As far as I'm concerned, you're the only girl I've ever really kissed."

"What about Cho?" She asked. "You kissed her in fifth year."

"It wasn't the same," he replied. "The kiss was ok but there was no magic in it. We didn't really know each other. It turns out we really didn't have much in common either. I'm not even sure if she really liked me or if it was 'the boy who lived' that she fancied. She was jealous of you and I know why. I didn't realize it then but you were always number one in my heart and everyone could see it but me until you almost died in the department of mysteries. That was the moment I realized how I felt about you. Unfortunately, it was awhile before I summoned the courage to make a move. Some Gryffindor I am huh? Nothing felt more right than that kiss. I couldn't believe I'd waited so long, been so blind. It was much more than the feel of your lips against mine or you in my arms. I knew who you were kissing and who you fancied. There was no doubt that it was me Harry on both counts because I was never 'the boy who lived' to you. I was just your friend Harry that you'd come to think of as more than a friend. Maybe I have it backwards. Maybe you're not the only girl I've kissed but you're the only girl that's ever really kissed me. Cho kissed the legend and Ginny kissed a potion. My point is, that neither of us had much experience. We both had, at most, one kiss until we kissed each other. Neither one of us knew much about love but were about to start learning about it together. I want to pick up where we left off and continue learning about it with you step by step from the first kiss and first date to eventually the other form of sleeping together and perhaps marriage and every step in between. There's no hurry, we have our whole lives. I believe each step will be a marvelous new discovery because we'll discover them together and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. As for tonight, you're welcome to stay here with me."

She reached around to the back of his head and pulled him down and kissed him.

"Thank you Harry," she said. "It's just that I don't want to be alone if I have another nightmare. I want to wake up, find you next to me and know I'm safe."

"Now that," he replied tightening his arms around her. "Would be my pleasure. I would love to have the most beautiful girl in the world share my bed tonight."

"Oh," she responded softly sitting up. "Are you expecting her to arrive soon?"

"No," he answered pulling her back to him. "You're already here."

He captured her lips with his own letting a little passion flow into his kiss which she returned. After a few minutes, she reluctantly pulled away from him long enough to stand up and discard her robe. While she did that, Harry laid back down, situated the pillows and pulled back the covers invitingly for her. She got into bed and immediately back into his arms. They kissed good night and then, still clinging to each other, finally fell asleep.

They spent the next couple of days at Grimmauld place. They only moved about the house and virtually never left each other's side. They talked, held each other and by the second day had even snogged a bit. It was as if they were trying to make up for all the time they'd lost in those few days. By the second evening they finally started feeling normal but were still using a detection spell each time Kreacher brought them something to eat or drink. It wasn't that they didn't trust him but they weren't willing to risk eating or drinking anything untested no matter who prepared it. They'd trusted Ron and he'd stolen them from each other for two years. They weren't going to make that mistake again. Once they'd made sure the food was okay, they finally began discussing what to do about the two youngest Weaselys. Half an hour into it, they'd just started to formulate suitable punishment when there was a knock at the door. Harry pulled out his wand and made his way to the door.

"Who is it?" he asked without opening the door.

"It's Kingsley Harry," a muffled voice answered through the door.

Harry cracked the door open keeping his wand ready. When he saw Kingsley, he opened it the rest of the way and invited him inside.

"Sorry," he said shaking the older man's hand. "Feeling overly cautious I guess."

"It's understandable with what you've been through," Kingsley responded before glancing past him. "Good evening Hermione, watching Harry's back as usual I see?"

Harry turned to look at her. He hadn't known she'd followed him but wasn't surprised. She was standing a few feet away, still had her wand out and was pointing it at their visitor a serious expression on her face as she nodded.

"And I always will," she said then smiled as she lowered her wand. "It's good to see you Kingsley."

"Moody would call you a fool for lowering your wand so quickly," He responded smiling. "I could be an enemy that used polyjuice potion to look like me. Constant vigilance, I believe, is what he called it."

"While you were greeting Harry," She replied calmly. "I cast a detection spell to check for polyjuice and had determined it was really you before you saw me. Otherwise I would've hexed you into next week before you knew what hit you."

"I take that back," he said laughing. "He would have considered you his prize pupil with that kind of quick thinking. You really are the brightest witch of your generation."

"Thank you," she said gratefully.

"So what can we do for you this evening?" Harry asked.

He had moved to her side while they were talking, taken her hand in his and turned to look at their visitor.

"I came to check on you," he answered. "And see if you've made a decision yet."

"We were just discussing that over dinner," Harry responded. "Would you care to join us? If you haven't eaten already that is."

"I haven't," Kingsley answered. "I planned on going to the leaky cauldron later but I would be honored to join you."

They headed back to the dining room. Harry had Kreacher bring another plate and then they resumed eating dinner. At first, they stuck to light topics like the latest happenings at the ministry before working their way to the purpose of this visit.

"So how are you two holding up?" Kingsley asked as Kreacher cleared away the dinner dishes.

"It's been a rough couple of days," Harry answered him. "But we're starting to feel normal again."

"Having time alone together," Hermione added. "Has helped us to start to heal. Thank you for keeping everyone away and giving us that time."

"The wizarding world owes you two much more than it can ever repay," he responded. "Peace and quiet is the least we can do. You both should take all the time you need. Your jobs at the ministry will be waiting for you whenever you're ready."

"Thanks," they both said together.

"Now," Kingsley said carefully. "About the two Weasely children-."

"Well, as I said earlier," Harry interrupted. "We had just started talking about it before you arrived. We don't have a decision for you yet but I don't think it will be much longer perhaps another day or two. We want to do the right thing and not just react out of anger or hurt feelings. Plus we wanted to talk to you before making a final decision to see what you've found out from them. Have they told you anything yet?"

"Ron hasn't," Kingsley answered. "He's refused to talk so I've asked Professor Slughorn for some veritaserum to use on him. I should have it tomorrow and then we can get some answers. Ginny, on the other hand had a very interesting story to tell."

"Ginny has always been good at making people believe she was innocent or duped." Harry replied skeptically. "How do you know she's telling the truth?"

"I don't," He responded. "That's why I asked Slughorn for the potion, so I can verify her story."

"So what did she tell you?" Hermione asked in a suspicious tone.

"Well, that brings me to another matter I need to discuss with you." Kingsley answered. "Molly would like to bring Ginny here to tell you herself. She thinks you'll understand it better if you hear it from them. They're willing to adhere to any security measures you deem necessary including having other people in the room. It's up to you but I'm going to use the potion on Ron tomorrow so either way we'll have answers for you."

Harry looked at Hermione. She was looking back at him with uncertainty. He reached out and squeezed her hand.

"We don't have to do it," he told her soothingly. "We don't owe them anything."

Then something clicked into place in his mind that he hadn't realized before now and caused him to feel anger towards the woman he once thought of like a mother. He turned back to Kingsley and gave him a hard look.

"She knew!" Harry said his voice rising. "She knew they'd given us the potion! She even sounded proud in the conversation I overheard her having with Ginny! I thought she just gave them the idea but she knew and didn't do anything to free us!"

He turned back to see Hermione looking even more frightened than before and tried to comfort her before returning his gaze to their visitor. He felt a soft hand on his shoulder and turned back to see sadness had replaced the fear.

"She's always said we were like her own children Harry," Hermione said her lip trembling. "How could she-"

She couldn't finish as she broke down. Harry pulled her into his arms and held her while she cried.

"You tell them," He said angrily. "That it will be a happy day in Azkaban before we ever want to listen to anything they have to say again."

"Molly thought you'd figure it out sooner or later," Kingsley replied. "She knew the conversation you overheard and knew it was only a matter of time. She figured it was the shock that kept you from putting it together sooner. It's understandable that you feel this way but if what they said is true, it wasn't what it looked like. It's your choice of course but I think you both need to hear them out. Either way, we'll verify it soon enough and know for sure what happened and who's responsible."

Hermione had calmed down while he spoke. Harry looked down into her eyes and wiped a tear off her cheek.

"What do you think?" He asked her.

"We need answers," she responded weakly. "But I don't want to be alone with them."

"We won't be," he assured her. "But it's still up to you. If you don't want to see them, you don't have to."

She didn't answer right away and seemed to be mulling it over before meeting his eyes again and nodding her head.

"Fine," he said turning back to Kingsley. "We'll see them tomorrow but we have some security measures we want in place before they get here."