Thanks, once again, to the lovely AdamPascalFan for all her help with this and also to everyone else for the lovely reviews/alerts/favorites!
Although the bus wasn't leaving until 2pm, Will instructed everyone to be at the front of the school half an hour before for role-call and rooming assignments.
"Alright everyone! Rooming assignments! No switching! Everyone stays with the person they were assigned with," he said with a pointed look at Rachel and Kurt, "whoever that might be. Basic ground rules: No alcohol," he said with a pointed look at Puck, handing the rooming assignments list to Rachel, who began passing them around to everyone else.
Mike and Matt high-fived each other when they saw their names together as usual.
"Hey! Just because I spiked the punch ONCE…" Puck began, but Will didn't let him finish that sentence. "Girls stay with girls, boys stay with boys. That means you, Kurt."
"Tina, when we get there," Rachel began, "I'll make up a bathroom schedule for showers and assign drawer usage. It'll be great!"
"Yay," Tina replied dryly, turning around so she could avoid any chance of contact with either Artie or Mike.
"Finn," Rachel continued, oblivious to Tina's less-than-thrilled reaction to her plan, "we're going to have to synchronize our clocks. There will be a covered pool, and I think that might be the only place we can get some time to ourselves."
"Covered pool!" Mike asked. "Awesome!"
"Don't worry Finn," Rachel said. "I'll simply come up with a new plan on the way there."
"Why don't we just…let things happen?" Finn suggested.
Finn and Rachel melted into each other's gaze and Kurt thought he'd just thrown up. In his mouth.
"Boys in the boys' rooms, girls in the girl's room. This means you, Kurt."
"Try any of that kinky shit on me tonight and you'll live to regret it," Puck warned, confusing the hell out of Kurt who hadn't even bothered to check the rooming assignments yet.
"When am I going to...nevermind that, WHY would I…?" he began, but then realized the reason for Puck's warning when he noticed his name next to Puck's on the rooming assignments.
"Oh hell to the no, Mr. Schue!" he began. "This has to be a mistake!"
"No mistakes, Kurt. Everyone stays where they're assigned. And if anyone is caught switching," he said, eyeing Kurt and Rachel, "solo privileges will be taken away for two months."
"TWO MONTHS!" Rachel and Kurt squeaked simultaneously.
"I don't think I need to say that we don't need to be distracted by drama," Will said. "But let's get up there tonight and do what we do best and show them all what we're made of. Finn, you replaced your drumsick, right?"
Finn nodded sheepishly.
And as Mr. Schue closed the door of the bus and started down the road towards the highway that would take them to Toledo, Kurt took his usual seat in front of Mercedes as he prepared himself for what was possibly going to be the longest twenty-four hours of his life.
Kurt shook his head as he caught Mercedes looking in Mike's direction for what had to be the fifteenth time in twice as many minutes, and then of course try as he might to forget about how much of a tool he'd been only hours earlier, but he couldn't.
Matt Rutherford was a nice guy. One of the nicest guys on earth, in fact. Seriously, how many people tell you that they were sorry for what another boy did to you? That was probably why he'd allowed the makeover to happen to begin with, but you had to have a lot of respect for anyone who needed to stay true to themselves, and nobody knew about that better than Kurt did. And what did he do? He forced his opinion on Matt, trying to mold him into someone he wasn't. Kurt wasn't just over-stepping his bounds, he was stomping all over them and pounding them into oblivion.
And oh my GOD Mercedes was right. It was the kind of ass that made you thankful to be alive. And he wouldn't have even seen that if Matt hadn't been such a good guy and let himself be made over into something he didn't even want to be.
Not that Matt even NEEDED a makeover. He unconsciously ran his fingers over his nails as he remembered the feel of Matt's hands in his own as he gave the other boy a manicure. It was true that he wasn't the most well-groomed individual around, but his hands were big and sturdy, reflecting the same quiet confidence that made Matt…well…Matt.
And this was a road he definitely did NOT need to go down. Matt was straight. Straight as an arrow. And well, so was Finn, and Kurt already knew how well that turned out.
And that ass certainly didn't help the situation either.
"You're awfully quiet," Mercedes observed allowed.
"Yeah, well…just not in a talkative mood I guess," Kurt said.
"Well, that's too damn bad, because I still need to figure out how I'm going to get some alone-time with Mike."
"We need to come up with Plan B, because I don't think Matt's going to be helpful to our cause anymore," Kurt said lamely, cursing himself again for being…well…him.
"Look, it's not your fault he doesn't care about being fabulous. You were trying to help him, and he just…didn't take it. And it's not like he was even mad about it. He just stood his ground."
"I know," Kurt said, sneaking what had to be his fourth glimpse at the boy already. "I've just gotta figure out how to apologize."
"Um, it's not that hard," Mercedes said. "Two words and it's done."
Kurt was about to explain that it was so much more complicated than that, that he really didn't mean to waste Matt's Friday night like that and if he wanted to just hang out with he and Mercedes sans makeover one weekend soon, well, that wouldn't be objectionable.
And did he just ask Matt out for a non-date in his head?
"Stupid idiot," he told himself, hitting his head against the back of the seat in front of him, which he just realized was empty. A glance over his shoulder told him that Mercedes had taken residence in front of Mike Chang, and Matt… 'Shit…' he cursed to himself as his own eyes locked with Matt's brown ones. Matt was noticing he was looking at him. "Stupid!" he said again. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" he said again, looking away as quickly as humanly possible.
He barely even noticed that he was no longer alone.
"Kurt," came a voice that, more often than not, sent him running in terror. "It has come to my attention that you've just been through a harrowing ordeal."
'And to top things off, now Rachel has me cornered.' Kurt thought, but just nodded disinterestedly.
"You realize that I've been through a similar experience. And I've come to understand that we are rivals because of one very simple fact."
"I hate your guts?" he said, but she, much to his dismay, chose to ignore that.
"I'm going to forgive you for that, Kurt, because you are going through a trial right now, and who better to sympathize with hard times than someone who has been through a similar experience? That, and coupled with the fact that you are the only one in glee who comes even half-way close to matching my level of talent and charisma, I feel that's the reason we butt heads as often as we do. But Kurt, we are the same people, you and I. The same drive, and because of the way society views us…"
'Yeah, but the big difference between you and I is that between you and an apocalypse, I'd pick the apocalypse,' Kurt wanted to say, but resigned himself to his fate.
"…we face the same adversity," she continued, barely pausing for breath let alone to notice the glazed look that began to take up residence in his eyes. "And, as luck would have it, have faced similar heartache. You and I both know what it's like to be used by people whom we loved. Do you know what I've discovered, Kurt?"
"What?" Kurt said with a sigh.
"That the only way to conquer the pain is to use it to help others. I found that the song-stylings of the great Stephen Sondheim really helped me in my time of sorrow."
'Sondheim? Really? That's your advice?' he wanted to say, but kept his mouth shut, trying to give Mercedes a look that clearly expressed his desire to be rescued, but there was only one person on the bus at that moment that had her attention.
"This CD I've found extremely cathartic," she told him, resting it next to him on his seat before thankfully, and at long last, getting up. "Raúl Esparza's portrayal of Bobby in this Revival Cast Recording is nothing less than a religious experience. I just have to say, he was SO ROBBED at the 2006 Tony's, but we all know that the great ones are never acknowledged during their lifetimes." She smiled. "I think we bonded."
'Only if your definition of bonding includes prison rape,' he thought as he chucked the CD in his bag.
But on the other hand, he hadn't heard the revival cast recording yet. He did like the performance that Esparza gave on the Tony Awards four years ago, and he fast-forwarded to the show's title number.
Raúl Esparza's voice began to sing through his headphones and he closed his eyes and listened.
Someone to hold you too close,
Someone to hurt you too deep,
Someone to sit in your chair,
To ruin your sleep.
Someone to need you too much,
Someone to know you too well,
Someone to pull you up short
And put you through hell.
Someone you have to let in,
Someone whose feelings you spare,
Someone who, like it or not,
Will want you to share
A little, a lot.
Someone to crowd you with love,
Someone to force you to care,
Someone to make you come through,
Who'll always be there,
As frightened as you
Of being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive.
Somebody, need me too much,
Somebody, know me too well,
Somebody, pull me up short
And put me through hell
And give me support
For being alive,
Make me alive.
Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.
Somebody, crowd me with love,
Somebody, force me to care,
Somebody, make me come through,
I'll always be there,
As frightened as you,
To help us survive
Being alive,
Being alive,
Being alive!
And Mr. Schue's words at practice last Wednesday came back to him in a flood. "Life's not worth it without risk." It had all the originality of a Hallmark card, but still…Mr. Schue had a point.
This was a song that was all about taking a risk.
Kurt nearly stood up in his seat when he finally figured it out. Who was a genius? He was!
This was how he'd apologize to Matt. He didn't know Kendra all that well, but Kendra didn't get along with Rachel, so that was good enough for him. Even if Kendra wasn't won over (which he didn't know how he wouldn't be, Matt was a great catch) Matt deserved his chance to show everyone that he was worth the spotlight, too.
That settled it.
This was it!
This was the song.
The one he'd get Matt to sing to Kendra!
He just had to figure out a way to convince Matt. And to do that, he'd have to apologize for earlier that morning.
Now all he had to do was set his plan in motion. The stars would be in line, and all would be right with the world.
"Being Alive" is written by Sondheim. Duh!
