進撃の巨人
Attack on Titan
自由の翼
Wings of Freedom
#4
Eren
Hearing the Truth
"Let's leave them for now," Erwin Danchō said softly as if trying not to wake a child.
Hange-san and Mike-san stood up from their seats, and I rose up as well. The Commander was the last to do so.
Erwin Danchō led the way towards the door. The rest of us followed with me being the last.
"Eren, close the door," the Commander ordered.
"Hai," I said. As I turned around to close it, I caught a glimpse of Levi Heichō and Lady Emilia still in the position they were earlier. It was like none of them even moved a muscle.
"I'm here," Levi Heichō said again.
How many times have he said that? I asked myself.
I gently closed the door in front of me, hoping to not make even the slightest noise, but it creaked anyway.
"Poor Emilia. If she has one great weakness, it would be that she feels so much sympathy for the dead," Hange-san said glumly. "Not that it's bad. It's just that…well, she burdens it even though she wasn't the reason why they died."
The Commander's eyes were fixed on the floor. I noticed that he looked different. He looked like he had been defeated.
"Emilia values life so much," the Commander said. "She always tells me that she feels some sort of responsibility over the human race. She believes that it is her duty to protect humankind even if it would cost her own life."
Mike-san nodded. "Everyone has their reasons why they joined the Survey Corps. Emilia's is to protect everyone from them."
I felt strange. I began to study everyone around me.
Everyone has their reasons why they joined the Survey Corps, I heard Mike-san say in my head.
Everyone in the Survey Corps do have different reasons. Hange-san, Mike-san, Levi Heichō, and the Commander all have different reasons that led them to choosing the Survey Corps, but all of them share something in common—they are willing to do anything for humanity.
Lady Emilia's reason why she joined the Survey Corps was to protect mankind, and as the stories go, she's a soldier willing to toss anything else aside—even her own life—when it comes to mankind's survival, and when it comes to snatching victory for the human race.
Mine was to slaughter every single Titan, but I never really thought about protecting humanity. I was thinking more about revenge.
I was thinking like a murderer.
My thoughts stopped when I heard the Commander sigh deeply.
"Let's move away from them for a while. We'll remain in the mess hall. I think we all need to fill ourselves with food—most especially Eren," he said. "We will come back by sundown. Hopefully by then, Emilia would be all better."
All of us nodded and followed the Commander.
We all sat on an empty table away from the other soldiers and recruits. I even got a glimpse of Mikasa and Armin from far away.
Hange-san sat beside me on my right while Mike-san sat across Hange-san, and the Commander across me.
I wasn't able to restrain myself from noticing his eyes.
The Commander's blue eyes usually looks certain, and always looks serious as if he's figuring out a plan in his mind all the time. This time around, however, he looked defeated—and very sad.
His elbows were on the table while his hands were folded tightly. On his folded hands rested his chin. In front of him was his food that he barely even touched. His eyes were looking down on it. He looked at it like he was looking through a window to the past.
I also noticed how Hange-san and Mike-san looked serious too while eating slowly. A while ago, both of them looked really surprised, and really looked human. Now, they looked lifeless, just like the Commander.
I thought to myself that maybe they were trying to register what just happened a while ago just as I was trying to comprehend it.
It was an unbelievable sight—Levi Heichō swooping down to Lady Emilia, his hands gently taking hers, and talking with the softest and gentlest voice I have ever heard.
His expression also changed. He looked like he was very much concerned about the Lady, and he seemed like he really can't bear the sight of her crying.
He has other emotions after all.
I'm here, I heard him say over and over. I'm here.
My burning curiosity just couldn't keep itself in. I put my spoon down, and turned to Hange-san who was sitting by my right.
"H—Hange-san, are Levi Heichō and Lady Emilia—"
Hange-san shot me a look telling me to shut my mouth before saying anything else.
I realized why—the Commander was looking at me with eyes that looked like he was about to shed a tear.
"Hange, it's alright," the Commander said. His voice still sounded the same, but his face told me that he was in pain. "The boy wants to know."
"But, Erwin—"
"It's alright," the Commander assured Hange-san.
Hange-san rested her elbows on the table just like what the Commander did, and rested her forehead on her folded hands.
"I'm not going to, Erwin," Hange-san said with a low voice. "Not in your presence."
The Commander closed his eyes for a while. Everyone was silent then. When he finally opened them, his eyes transformed from the sad ones I can't help but notice to the strong ones he usually has.
He looked right at me as I watched his shoulders rise and fall as he was breathing. "Then I'll tell him."
"Erwin—" Hange-san tried to protest with worry, but the Commander already began talking.
"Eren, Levi and Emilia aren't together as you might think. Ever since Levi met her, he's been very concerned about her, and very protective towards her. However, they are merely very close friends. Besides," the Commander took a sip of water from his cup, "Emilia had said so herself that her purpose was to fight and not to love."
I blinked several times. I felt Hange-san shiver as the Commander said those last words. Mike-san was finishing his meal, but his face told me that he, too, felt something when the Commander spoke.
"R—really?" I asked like a child. "So…they're just that close?"
The Commander's eyes were fixed on mine. He was dead serious, and it made me quiver a bit inside. He simply nodded.
"You can ask her about it," the Commander said later on. "However, I am not certain if she wouldn't mind."
After another moment of silence, the Commander spoke again: "On another note, I've been studying Levi for a while, and I believe that the others have been too." He casted a glance on Hange-san whose face was still looking down on her plate. "I have my suspicions just like the others. If my thoughts are right—"
"Oi, Erwin, of all the damn places to go, why here?" I heard Levi Heichō scold the Commander as he stood by the entrance to the mess hall, his expression his usual one. We all turned our heads to the Lance Corporal.
The Commander looked surprised that the Lance Corporal appeared. I was pretty convinced that everyone was—considering that at the sound of his voice, we all suddenly turned as if what we have been waiting for has arrived. The Commander stared at Levi Heichō for a while without saying anything, but he eventually smiled at the impatient Lance Corporal. "There's food."
"Tch." Levi Heichō crossed his arms. "Well, anyway, you brats can all come back to Erwin's office. Emilia's better—just don't wake her up."
The Lance Corporal turned his back on us and began to walk away.
Seeing him in his usual form really made me feel relieved for some reason. I always thought that his rudeness, and seriousness suited him better. However, I began to ponder whether his rude, serious self was the true Levi Heichō, or was it the gentle and caring one. I felt my curiosity burning again, but I didn't dare open my mouth.
"Don't wake her up?" Mike-san repeated.
"Well," the Commander stood up from his seat, his expression back to normal, too, "we best be going. Also, I think dragging Eren with us was already against the conditions we had agreed to during the trial. After all, Eren is under Levi's supervision."
I flinched. I forgot everything about the trial.
Thinking back, I didn't remember much of what happened during the trial but rather what happened after. When I met Lady Emilia, I remembered her.
Okāsan.
I don't even remember her face very well anymore. I hardly remember her voice. But when I saw Lady Emilia, it all came back.
The worry in her voice was the same as my mother's. Her expression when she learned that I was hurt was like my mother's. She was really like Okāsan.
It was strange—a strong soldier to be that worried.
Like my mother.
I shook my head, and got rid of the thought. I didn't want to feel the sadness now.
I'll kill them—no—I'LL EXTERMINATE THEM!—my vow. Something I swore to do after I witnessed my mother's death.
I suddenly saw something else too. I saw my mother and Lady Emilia walking together towards a white light, both looking right at me with smiles on their happy faces. They were both looking at me—while going away.
No, I'll not let her go, I thought. I will not let her suffer the same fate as my mother.
She's…
"Eren, are you alright?" I heard a woman's voice. I realized that it was Hange-san who spoke, her face looking worried and curious at the same time.
"Eh?" I uttered.
"You're…crying."
I flinched. I touched my face—a tear.
I quickly wiped it, and took a deep breath. "It—it's nothing, Hange-san. Just…memories."
"Hmm," Hange-san muttered with interest. "I see."
As the Commander opened the door, it creaked again just as loud as before.
"Oi, I said don't wake her up," the Lance Corporal scolded silently.
I got a glance of the scene—Levi Heichō was sitting on his past seat with his legs crossed. Right across him was the couch where I sat before, and lying peacefully there was Lady Emilia.
As we all filled in, I saw Hange-san turn to the sleeping Lady with the corner of my eye.
"Eh...? How did you make her sleep, Levi?" Hange-san asked silently, but loud enough to make the Lady stir.
"Tch. Be quiet, Four-Eyes," Levi Heichō scolded softly. I saw him staring at Lady Emilia steadily, watching her as she stirred in her sleep.
"But really, how?" Hange-san asked again.
The annoyed Lance Corporal turned to Hange-san with his serious eyes. "It's not only Eren who has special abilities as it turns out."
What?
