Stefan knew he couldn't ignore Matt's call. He also knew Enzo had been planning something for awhile now and if he involved Matt, things could get a lot worse, very quickly.
He went back upstairs to bring Caroline her tea. She was in his bathroom putting on her makeup.
"Sorry, the mirror...I couldn't use that one." She took the cup from him, giving him a small smile. She went back to powdering her face.
"Its no problem." Stefan said softly. "Listen, I've got to check on a few things. Ill be back soon. Damon and Elena are here...will you be okay for a little while?"
Caroline looked at him, putting her makeup down on the counter.
"What's wrong?" Stefan couldn't hide anything from her, his expression told her everything she needed to know.
"Nothing you need to worry about. I'm taking care of it." Stefan didn't want to lie.
Caroline knew that if Stefan didn't tell her there was a good reason, she trusted his judgment.
"Okay. Be careful." She gave him a weak smile.
Stefan couldn't resist the urge to bring her into his arms.
He hugged her softly, bringing his nose into her hair and inhaling her scent.
"Thank you." She whispered.
He stepped back and smiled. He left one hand on her arm while he bent towards her and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
Caroline felt like she could melt into the floor.
She smiled up at him, fighting the tears of her conflicting emotions.
"Ill be back soon." He smiled at her for another moment, then reluctantly turned away and walked out of the room.
Caroline finished getting ready and headed down the stairs.
Elena and Damon were talking quietly, but she could hear them.
"I don't think she is handling this very well." Elena's voice hesitant and hushed.
"What do you expect? How did you handle it?" Damon challenged her.
"Good point... you don't think she'd..." Elena let her voice trail off.
"No, not Caroline. Not for a second would I think that."
Damon's faith in her gave Caroline the confidence to enter the room.
"I'm ready."
Elena turned to her, looking guilty. She knew Caroline had heard what they were talking about.
"Where's Stefan?" She asked.
"He had to go out for a bit, he said he would be back soon." Caroline crossed the room to the bottle of bourbon on the table.
"Well, he better get here soon. We will have to leave to set up the church." Elena absently riffled through the box of pictures and personal items they had all collected to bury Liz with.
Caroline just stared out the large window framing the side of the Salvatore boarding house. She watched Elena prepare a few things for the service. She watched Damon read and reread the eulogy he prepared. She saw him frown multiple times and wondered what bothered him so much.
Caroline stayed silent. She drank. She breathed in and out. She waited for the minutes to pass.
Eventually she heard Elena calling her name.
"Caroline- its time to go." Elena was holding a box and standing by the door with her coat on.
Caroline stood up. "Okay." she said quietly. She held in the overwhelming despair washing over her in that moment. The moment she began walking towards her mothers funeral.
She put her glass down and walked towards the door.
"Caroline- your coat?" Elena asked softly.
"Oh- yeah." Caroline turned slowly to the coat rack and picked hers up and put it on.
Elena gave her a sympathetic look and put the box down on the floor.
"You can do this. I know its hard, its impossible, but you can do this Caroline. I promise." Elena spoke strongly, encouraging her.
"It's just..."Caroline couldn't hold back anymore, "It just hurts so bad." Caroline crumpled into Elena's arms.
"I know, I know." Elena rubbed Caroline's back and tried her best to soothe her friend.
Being in Elena's arms only made Caroline feel worse.
What am I doing? I cant rely on Elena to make me feel better! Not after what I did...I betrayed our friendship. I cant forget that.
I kissed Stefan.
Caroline pulled away. "I'm sorry- you're right. I can do this. Let's go." Caroline wiped away her tears and watched Elena give her a smile, pick the box up, and head out the door.
I cant go to my mothers funeral feeling guilty. I have to tell her.
Caroline followed Elena outside.
Suddenly the words were like hot acid in her mouth, she had to get them out.
"I kissed Stefan!" she practically yelled at her unsuspecting friend.
Caroline's confession surprised Elena and she whipped around to look back at her friend.
"You kissed Stefan?" Caroline looked for signs of anger but all she could see was surprise.
"Well actually, he kissed me. But I let him, I kissed him back."
Elena just looked at her friend. She had known how Caroline felt about Stefan, but she wasn't sure how Stefan felt. Now she did. And she was okay with it. It was strange, her friend dating her ex, but who was she to judge? She knew she broke some serious codes when she left Stefan for Damon. She just wanted them to be happy.
"Caroline, I'm happy for you. Stefan is lucky to have someone like you in his life." Elena's voice was genuine.
Caroline frowned slightly, "Well, I don't actually know what's going on...you know we haven't really talked about it...but I just wanted you to know."
Elena smiled, "Thank you for telling me. Its okay though, I promise."
Caroline let herself smile back at Elena.
"We really need to go now though." Elena led them to the car where Damon was waiting patiently.
Caroline had no doubt he had heard the whole conversation and she worried he would tease her when she got into the car.
He didn't. No one spoke at all.
When they got to the church, Caroline's eyes instinctually searched for Stefan.
She was so absorbed with looking for him she wasn't prepared when her eyes landed on the coffin at the front of the church.
A quiet sob escaped her and she felt her legs give out. Before she fell, strong hands were behind her, holding her steady.
She knew it was Stefan without turning around. His scent surrounded her, protecting her from the pain that threatened to consume her.
"Lets go sit down." He led her to the front pew. He motioned for Elena to come sit with her. "I need to go find Damon, just sit here, and try to relax."
I love you.
The words were right at the front of his mind. He had to bite his tongue to keep them from slipping out.
Caroline nodded her head and looked down at her hands, not wanting to see her mother's coffin again.
Elena sat down and pulled Caroline's hand into hers.
Stefan looked back to find Caroline resting her head on Elena's shoulders.
He hadn't thought about the possible ramifications of their kiss for Elena and Caroline's relationship.
Will she be upset? Will she be happy for her? For us?
Us.
Stefan let his mind explore that word more thoroughly while he went into one of the church offices hearing Damon's voice.
He had planned to tell Damon how Enzo had Matt following his orders, manipulating himself into the life of Sarah, their ancestor. He didn't know how to tell Damon about Sarah, but he knew it was time. He was able to get Enzo to leave Matt alone, for the day at least, with a quick snap to the neck. He had thought about just ending him right then, but didn't know how Damon would feel about that. He started rehearsing what he would say to him when he heard the frustration in Damon's voice outside the office door.
He walked in just as Damon was cursing.
"Stefan- I cant do this. I cant say these things." Stefan furrowed his brow at his brother.
"You wrote it Damon...you can't read your own words?"
"No. I mean Yes I wrote it, but I cant be this person. I'm not this person. Liz and Caroline deserve a nice person to speak today. I'm not a nice person Stefan." Damon's voice was harsh, his tongue cut into his own words.
"Damon, listen. Liz asked you to do it for a reason. Which means you are the only person who can do this today, and do it right. Do you really feel whatever it is that you wrote?"
Damon looked down at his notes. "Yes. I do."
"Then its real. You may not realize it but I do, and so does Elena. You are the person who wrote this speech. You've changed. You aren't the same monster who showed up to mystic falls three years ago. You're a good man Damon. Don't be afraid of that." Stefan spoke which such sincerity, Damon smiled at him.
"You're good." He turned to the mirror behind him, straightening his tie. "No wonder Caroline kissed you, I'd do it too if it weren't you know...incestuous." Damon's shoulders shook slightly as he laughed to himself.
Stefan's eyebrows shot up.
"Actually," Stefan said hesitantly, unsure of where this conversation was going. " I kissed her."
"And...?" Damon turned to him, looking his brother in the eyes.
"And what?" Stefan played dumb, he knew what his brother was searching for but wasn't sure he wanted to let him in. He wasn't sure Damon was the right person to talk to about what he was feeling right now.
Stefan hesitated another moment but ultimately decided Damon was all he had, and he needed to talk to someone.
"Fine. It was amazing. It was perfect. It was everything I've ever wanted." Stefan's words were sweet but his tone was harsher, almost angry. "And that is why it is absolutely terrifying."
"I thought Elena was the one. I thought she was the only person in the world I could ever love like that." Stefan looked down into the floor, hands in his pocket. "I really believed that I had to spend eternity being in love with a girl who is in love with my brother. And now..."
Damon took in a deep breath, he waited for Stefan to continue. He was unsure of what his brother was going to say and worried it would be something he didn't want to hear.
"I dont know...now..." Stefan looked around the room, searching for an answer on the walls. "Caroline and I- it was so slow with us." He paused for a long moment. "And then one day... I loved her." Stefan's words were softer now, "I love her."
Damon smiled and exhaled, he tried to stifle his relief.
"But I loved Elena too. and look how that turned out." Stefan's tone was tense again.
Damon took a step towards his brother.
"Stefan you cant be afraid to move on. You did love Elena, yes. But not all love is true love, brother. Elena...She's not the one. Everything that happened, it wouldn't have happened if she was." Damon tried to glide past the fact that what happened was him. "But Caroline, when you're with her, I see the way she affects you. You're the best version of yourself when you're with her. Stefan, for my money, she's the one."
Stefan let himself smile slightly at his brother. He smiled because he knew Damon was right.
