How many years had passed since then? Three years? Four? It had been almost four years since she left Earth and joined the Alliance military and now she was being rewarded with the Star of Terra for her efforts on Elysium. Though efforts was perhaps the wrong word. She hadn't done everything she could to save the human colony when it was attacked by pirates, slavers and batarian warlords. No. Avery rallied the civilians to defend their home and when the attackers broke through their defenses, she singlehandedly fought them off until backup arrived.
It had been almost four years and she was now viewed as a hero of humanity, being rewarded with the Star of Terra for 'courageous and distinguished service that is above and beyond the call of duty'. She singlehandedly fought of slavers and pirates and she was still afraid. Her heart was pounding hard inside her chest the entire ceremony for fear that she would find his face in the crowd. That this was all helping him find her again. That this would be over and she would return to the life she used to have.
Four years had passed. She didn't even know if he was still alive or not, but it was as if he still had power over her. Not as much as he used to, she wasn't constantly looking over her shoulder to find him before he could find her, but he was always in the back of her mind. He had enough power to make her uncomfortable in big crowds of unknown people, even though she had no reason to be.
Rather than staying in the spotlight at this ceremony and being congratulated, having her first day off in a really long time, she wanted to be back in space, back on the ship she served on. Somewhere between stars. Some place where he couldn't ever find her. She would rather have to fight another battle like the Skyllian Blitz, if she had to choose between that or possibly running into him.
Gabriel Moore.
She smiled and excused herself from the group of people standing around her, stepped outside for a moment to get some air, to get away from the crowd and be along for a while.
Avery hated this. How long was she going to be scared of him? How much longer was she going to be affected of what he did to her? Why couldn't she just leave the past behind her?
"Shepard-san."
She turned around, recognized the person approaching her as Keitari Endoh, a woman that enlisted at the same time she did, a woman that she had also served with on different ships. A woman known for always putting the mission ahead of everything else, who cared little for anyone, and even less for her.
"Endoh." She never did understand those Japanese suffixes.
The two women stood quiet for a while. The Asian woman hadn't changed much since they last served together, looking almost the same. When they first met, Avery had mistaken her for a man with her broad shoulders and being just as tall as any other man on the station. Even her face was very androgynous, and her shoulder length black hair was always pulled back in tightly in her neck.
Keitari took one step forward, towards her, her posture military strict, hands behind her back and her head held high. Her black eyes fixed on Avery, not looking away for even a moment.
"Good job on Elysium" she finally said then, "You saved a lot of lives."
It surprised her that Endoh was actually praising her. Endoh of all people. She had always acted like she hated her more than anything. And during their time training together, she'd been anything but nice towards her.
"I just did what anyone of us would've done."
"I'm not saying that any Alliance soldier wouldn't have at least tried to do the same as you did, but if you hadn't been there, a lot of civilians would have died."
She gave her a nod. She was right. If she hadn't been there, things would've ended a lot worse than they did.
"I never would've thought that you could earn the Star of Terra," Endoh continued, "I didn't even think you'd get through the military training."
"I'm glad I proved you wrong."
Again none of the women spoke and the only sound to be heard was the chatter coming from inside the building.
"You're an example for all of humanity, Shepard-san. You're stronger than most and your determination will get you a long way." She paused. "If you don't let anything keep you back."
And then she turned, walking inside again, leaving Avery alone with her thoughts again.
i'If you don't let anything keep you back.'/i
Keitari was right. She could do even greater things than what she had done on Elysium. She was only twenty-one; she had her whole life ahead of her. And if she wanted to move on from this point, she needed to leave her past behind her. She needed to let it go.
The past had passed and she couldn't change that. Gabe didn't deserve all that time she spent thinking about him. Not anymore. She had a new life now and she wouldn't let him ruin it too. She wasn't going to let him keep her from her own celebration.
She should thank Endoh for helping her realize this, but not tonight.
Avery walked back inside again with a smile on her lips.
