Author's note: Many thanks to my colleague flyingarrow for her fun yet hard work in creating Legolas. I will admit I rather stole him for a minute (ok, a few minutes!) in order to explain some things.
Question: Do you all think Haldir should have a romantic interest? Leggy is absolutely not going to get one because my coauthor has handed the story over to me. You are are at my mercy now, as is old Leggy-boy.
Chapter 4
Legolas walks up to me the next day. "Having fun?" he grins.
I am certain my face is going to be as red as a sun-ripened tomato the rest of my life. Everyone stops and laughs at me. At least they are getting their ab workouts. "What do you think?" I glare.
"I think you are," he smirks.
"No thanks to you," I spit out. Then I step back, horrified. "I'm sorry. Are you feeling better?"
"Yes, I am," he sniffs. Stuck-up, hoity-toity Prince!
Although I cannot help but look relieved. "This is all my fault. I should be thrown into a dungeon the rest of my life where I can't hurt anyone."
"Or wear dresses the rest of your life!" he grins.
I pale and have to sit, my stomach flopping over and over. "It would be a just punishment," I admit, squeaking a bit.
"At least that way you would not be bored!"
"Would you really want people thinking I had gone insane? That I had completely flipped my lid and thought I was a girl?"
"Sure!"
I moan and hold my head in my hands. "Will you please just leave me alone?"
"Why? You would not leave me alone," he scowls.
"I promise as soon as your father is through with me that I am leaving this realm and never coming back. I never, ever want to see you again. And yes, you are right. I do deserve you."
He sniffs. "Good."
"Yes, for both of us."
"Well, I hope your next two days are fun!"
I look up, scowling. "I am sure you do," I say dryly.
He just laughs.
I again moan and hold my head. I. Need. Tea. And privacy. And no nasty elvenprinces ceaselessly torturing me!
Several days later
At last my punishment ended, four days ago. I am much relieved, but now the Lady is here. I have been summoned to the throne room to "talk". Fabulous. If elves cursed, I would be doing that right now. Feren guides me to the throne room once again; I never can find my way around in all these dark halls. I inwardly cringe as I see the Lady and King Thranduil consulting with each other. I am in for it now!
Lord Celeborn walks up and nods. "Haldir."
"Lord Celeborn," I reply politely, my head lowered in submission
Legolas is sitting quietly off to the side, a nasty smirk on his face. He frowns at me. "Go on. Ada is not happy."
The Elvenking glances up at me and beckons me forward. "Haldir, we have much to discuss. Why have you been harassing my son?"
Galadriel gives me a look that says she already knows the answer and tells it to me in my head. I can't help but tremble a bit. "Do you want an honest answer?"
"Yes."
"Fine. I do not like Legolas. He is a snobby little brat, the ladies adore him, and he thinks he is better than everyone else. He's always been better than me, will always be more popular than me. I have resented that a long time. Not to mention that he uses all those factors to play against me. However, I beg to differ that he is the one who instigates things."
All the rulers' faces harden. Thranduil turns to Legolas. "I want you hear your thoughts on the matter, Ionnîn."
"I used the normal greeting and the first thing he did was start harassing me!"
"That is not true! While I was a bit snide, I was not overtly rude," I protest. "And I mean at our very first meeting several centuries ago, not when I arrived here a few days ago." I resist the urge to stick out my tongue; it is too immature.
He glares. "No! You showed up a few weeks ago! And I asked why you were here, and then YOU got snotty!" he retorts, standing up and fuming.
Thranduil glares at his son. "Legolas, use your inside voice, and nicely. Haldir, continue."
I take a deep breath and sigh. "It was several centuries ago when Legolas had just come of age. Are you sure you don't remember this?" I look at him, perplexed.
He gives me a confused face. "Not at all."
"Fine. I had come for some business with Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn. They told me to take some time off, to acquaint myself with the elves here. After all, we live at opposite ends of the same forest. Anyway, I came into the garden and there you were. I instantly did not like you, the way the ladies fawned all over you and ignored me. I had such good luck with the Lothlórien ladies too. Then you told me I have a big nose!" I glare, my nostrils flared. That stupid elf is so rude!
"What? No way do I remember that! It's a crazy lie!"
Thranduil looks at his son. "Why don't you tell us what you remember then?"
"I only remember meeting him a few weeks ago. I was on gate guard duty, and he comes up. I ask him why he's here, as I do anyone. He immediately gets snappy and rude!"
"I did not!" I protest, but Galadriel tells me I did. "Ok, yes, I did."
"That cannot be everything. The other guards said that Haldir was fairly amicable excepting that somewhat-rude comment he made to you," Thranduil states.
The princeling sighs. "Fine. I am jealous of Haldir. He gets so much freedom, can go off to other realms! And here I am, stuck in Greenwood, having to keep up the reputation of a prince, live in your image, constantly failing!"
The Elvenking does not know what to make of this and neither do I, having no words to even protest his insane accusations.
"Legolas, really," Galadriel speaks publically now, "Haldir is the marchwarden of my kingdom. He has as many responsibilities as I do, perhaps more. He cannot just do as he please but rather has his duties, the same as you do. He represents Celeborn and I, so he has both our and his own reputation at stake. Your comment of calling me the 'Lady of Darkness' has me concerned as well. Do you care to explain that?"
I hide a smirk as all four elven rulers turn and glare at Legolas, who suddenly looks rather uncomfortable.
"I...Er…" he starts, and I can tell Lady Galadriel is speaking with him under no uncertain terms. "I just hate Lothlórien! And I have heard rumors about how the Lady uses orcs for her own foul purposes, how she wants to find the One Ring for herself and rule all Arda with it. Not to mention her terribly necromancy where she practices her telepathy."
"Legolas Thranduilion!" the Elvenking glares. "You know that is not true. Now apologize to Lady Galadriel right now."
A defiant look crosses that snivelling prince's face. "And what if I don't?"
"Then you will have to be punished."
"Well, I am not sorry at all, your Ladyship of Darkness and Lord of the Darkness!" he shouts, a proud, sassy look on his face.
King Thranduil's dark eyebrows raise in a way that says his only child has just landed himself in a big spot of trouble. "Guards, bring me some Spider Gunk soap, please."
I notice one hurry away with a puzzled look on his face. That nasty stuff is only used on prisoners and no one has ever seen it used for an elf before. He returns within half a minute. "Here you are, Your Majesty."
"Thank you. Legolas, come here." He points in front of him, glaring.
The prince looks frightened and stands still. Once he hears the guards lower their spears he steps forward. The Elvenking forces his mouth open and shoves the bar of soap inside, thoroughly cleansing the inside of that foul mouth of his. "Perhaps this shall bring nice things out of your mouth instead of everything nasty."
The horrible elf that I am, I cover my mouth to hide my laughter, hoping everyone else thinks I am horrified. I watch, amused, as Legolas coughs, chokes, and splutters, bubbles dribbling down that fair little chin of his and onto his robes. The treatment lasts for two minutes before King Thranduil stops and the guards provide a bucket of water. The Elvenprince dips his entire face in the pail, making spluttering noises and gagging as he attempts to get all the soap out of his mouth. A snort comes out from behind my hand before I can stop it, but no one notices because he is making too much noise. He looks up five minutes later, eyes red. "Ada, how could you?" he chokes out.
"How could you insult our kin and allies?" King Thranduil retorts.
Legolas glares and Celeborn steps up. "King Thranduil, since this has happened on your territory, I think punishment for Haldir shall be up to you to decide."
"Yes, thank you," he agrees. "While I know you are repentant, Haldir, that does not change the fact that my son could have died. I wish to consult with Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel...alone." He gives a pointed look to Leggy and I. I leave the room, glad to be out.
Legolas nods and follows behind me, pacing outside and occasionally glaring at me.
The rulers consult and summon me back in. I stand, shaking, as they glare at me. Mad elven rulers are not to be toiled with. Thank Eru Lord Elrond isn't here!
Legolas watches, wondering what will happen.
Thranduil glares at me. "You are to remain here one year. During this time, you will help my son with whatever he needs. You are to guard his back when he fights, do anything he asks of you. Once your year is up, you may go home."
I just stare, horrified, the blood draining from my face and my stomach feeling rather ill.
The vile Princeling that started this smiles. "Ada, can I make him do whatever I want?"
"Within reason. In other words, no making him scrub your floors with his toothbrush and use it afterwards. Nothing overtly cruel like that. If I hear of your mistreating him, there will be consequences."
I stumble and Feren catches me. I do not like this at all.
"I can have a little fun now and then, right?"
"Only after consulting your mother or I. I do not trust you, Ionnîn. Rulers must learn not to abuse their power," he glares, and I smirk, recovering a bit.
Frowning, Legolas asks, "Fine. Can I make him go clean my room?"
"Yes, that will be fine."
The Elvenqueen adds, "As long as you have not left it nasty like last time with rotten banana peels and socks you've worn for three weeks."
The rude elf scowls. "Naneth! I don't do that!" Then he turns to me, smirking.
"Yes, you at least leave banana peels. Do you have an idea how many I've found there?"
"I do not!"
She laughs. "Away with you! You know I'm right."
Thranduil glares at Leggy and I smirk again. "No arguing with your mother. Now go."
I just glare at Legolas, wishing I were dead. It's too bad elves don't commit suicide. Oh to be a mortal!
He obeys his father, running back to his room and calling me after him.
I chase after Leggy, wishing he'd slow down so I don't get lost. I gasp as I see his wreck of a room and gulp.
"Clean!" he smirks, practically laughing.
"You're going to have to show me how you like your clothes folded."
He shows me and tells me a few other things.
I get to work cleaning. It takes be six long hours before I have everything spotless and put neatly away.
He finally returns, yawning as he falls onto the bed.
"Prince Legolas, where do I sleep now? My old room?"
"Yes, as long as you are here in Greenwood. However, I want you at the foot of my bed at six every morning."
"Alright. May I go to my room now?"
"Yes."
"Thank you." I breathe a sigh of relief and collapse into my own bed after a long, luxurious bath and a cup of hot tea.
Note: One of my readers noted that there had to be more to this story, so here you go! Some backstory! I love backstories so much!
