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"He was not in the house. He did not come back that night. Days went by, and at last she understood that he would not return at all."
― Audrey Niffenegger, Her Fearful Symmetry

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Rick asked me for a divorce. I can't say I was blindsided but I was surprised that it took him so long to ask.

When I met him at a new restaurant that he chose I was surprised to see papers sitting on the table to say the least. He had a determined expression the kind he wore when he was in the middle of a business transaction. He was void of any emotion that I could decipher as he pulled my chair out for me to sit..

"Things have not be working between us for a long time. I would say we were both to blame for not communicating properly to each other. There were some things I should have put my foot down on and you as well. We didn't communicate parameters of what was acceptable I suppose. Either way, I am asking for a divorce and I hope we can reach amicable terms based on what has been outlined in the prenup."

"Ten years of marriage Rick? We are just going to throw it a way?"

"Put it to rest and move on. That is how I am looking at it."

"What about the kids?"

"I would like joint custody but I am not opposed to full custody."

"Full custody?"

"Yes. I would not be opposed to the children staying with me fulltime."

"With you and who else?"

"There is no one else Lori."

"Who is she Rick?"

"Listen to me Lori. Listen to me real good. Will there be someone else...? Yes. Is that possibility affecting my decision...I have options. You do too. Do I plan to pursue an option would be the same for you if you have a better option I wouldn't hold you back Lori. I wouldn't."

"There isn't any one better than you Rick. I mean I never thought of being with anyone else."

"Do you know what the beauty of that is, you have a choice. You aren't stuck and that is how I feel. Stuck and I want to move on."

All the words that came out of Rick's mouth were foreign to me. It was like he was speaking another language but the only thing that was clear he was in love with someone else and I had no earthly clue who. I didn't know if he expected us to order but I ordered the strongest drink they had to offer and he did the same.

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I had no way to concentrate. I flew out of Africa on the first flight after I went to go see Morgan. Again. I wired 30 grand to his offshore account for the value of the ring and I warned him under no uncertain language...as clear as I could make it that Michonne was fucking off limits. If he wanted to continue to do business in the States he would heed my warning.

I had my good friend Andrea look over my prenup and I had to tell her the truth of my situation with Michonne. Andrea wasn't good with bullshit and she could easily sniff it out.

"You haven't consummated the relationship at any point while she was under your wife's employ."

I couldn't respond

"Rick?"

I had no answer that was a negative.

"I can't help you if you don't spit it out."

"Twice in Australia and four times in South Africa."

"Shit Rick."

"Would have been way more if I could have gotten a way with it."

"Hell Rick. Did any one see you? The kids? Lori? Jessie? Staff?"

"No. We were always alone. When the kids were asleep or they were with the Tutor and Lori was engrossed in whatever suited her fancy at the time."

"God Damn, Michonne. How do you expect me to get enough of you if you keep doing shit like this."

"I'm just returning the favor."

"Michonne you are confusing me right now with this shit."

"Good." Michonne flicked the tip with her tongue.

"Damn Michonne."

"Are we still off?"

"Yes. Just not off off."

Michonne deep throated me so quick that I began grunting and moaning as I took a fist full her her dreads as I watched and I felt her take me to heighten places that I did not know could be achieved in this act alone. I had just eaten her pussy to the point that she exclaimed that it all belong to me and now I had to find the will power to not swear my very soul to her even though she had it, I just never verbally confirmed it.

I couldn't get enough of Michonne that night. The night before my flight the next morning. I wanted her and had her in everyway possible. She was mine.

Andrea was not amused by the potential shit storm that could be awaiting them if Rick was truly ready to proceed. "Could she have gotten pregnant at any point? Did you use protection?"

"No. But Michonne was on the shots."

"Shit Rick."

"Michonne is not pregnant."

"How do you know that for sure?"

"Because she would have had a nursery done up in that penthouse that is how I know. She is on birth control and if there was a chance that she was pregnant that would put us in the timeframe of her nanny duties I would say I was screwed."

"She has been the Nanny for how long?"

"A year just about."

"How long have you known her before the nanny gig?"

"Five months or a little longer. We broke it off...Well she broke it off with me. Stopped answering my phone calls and text. I wasn't spending any time that much at home knowing Lori was trying to set me up with all these different nannies. I didn't know Michonne took the Nanny position until I boarded the plane. I did know Mimi was Michonne by any means."

"Lori said she wasn't trying to set you up. The other nannies were just attracted to you so she got rid of them. She thought Michonne would be diffferent. More child focus."

"Lori was toying with me through all those young girls. One was named Beth. Barely 18 years old. I couldn't stay in the home with that. Cheese. She was setting up traps and they were cheese. I never took the bait. Never."

"I am going to ask you this question, Rick. I want you to think real hard before you lie to me. When was the last time you and Michonne had sex? I am talking about when she was the nanny?"

"The night that I threw the engagement ring she got from Morgan in Africa. The next day I took a flight out. The first available flight out."

"How long ago was that Rick?"

"Four months ago today."

"How far along is Michonne?"

"Four months to the day."

"Does Lori know where Michonne is hiding out at?"

"No."

"Good. Jackass."

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I gave Lori my letter of resignation effective immediately. Rick told me to do it that way. He gave me the key to his penthouse and his black card along with a regular credit card just in case I got any grief with his black card. He was staying in the house to tend to his children and he would explain to his kids about my absence.

Lori had left to see her attorney and Rick had helped carry my suitcases to the limo that would be taking me to his place in the city. He came in my room the night before when he thought everyone was asleep. He told me I wouldn't see him until the dust settled and he wasn't sure how long it would take but he was hoping it was quick and painless.

"Michonne. We have to do this right unless you want to be married to a very poor man. Don't text me. Don't call me. You have dropped off the face of the planet. I will come and see you as much as I can. Do not use your debit card or anything in your fricking name. Don't answer the door. Rosa will answer the door. I don't want you mysteriously served with papers because you didn't follow what I am telling you to a T."

"I love you."

"I love you too. I love you enough to accept my fate if Lori is able to clean me dry. I just want to get pass this so we can be together. You, my kids all under one roof. I don't want the house. She can have that and every bit of furnishing that is inside. I just want to have you in my life for the rest of my life."

"I want that Rick."

We wanted to kiss each other. We were lingering too close that he opened the door for me to get in the back seat. He tapped on the driver window and told him to give us 2 more minutes before pulling off. Rick got in and closed the door. The windows were tinted. He took my face in his hands and he kissed me. We were desperate and careless at the same time. I would do whatever he asked to ensure he didn't lose it all.

"I love you 'Chonne."

I stood outside his penthouse. I couldn't get to the key in my purse so, I rang the doorbell and Rosa answered on the second ring. She helped me with my three suitcases. I was greeted by my Cat Cheesy who was rubbing herself against my legs as I tried to keep up with Rosa who took me to the Rick's master bedroom.

"He told me to make room in his drawers for you. He says take up all the space you need. He has an empty closet for you as well."

"Thank you."

"He says for you to not answer any doors. He said for me to answer. I don't mind. He says I have to act like I don't speak English or understand it. If papers are trying to be served I need to make sure you aren't served.

"Rick..."

"Loves you. He loves you very much. He loves you because he doesn't like cats. He hate cats but he has Cheesy here. He pets Cheesy and talks to Cheesy. He really loves you if he has this cat in here."

"He never told me he didn't like cats."

"When a man loves...really loves...they are accepting of more things then if they didn't love you as much. He loves you a great deal. Lori...not so much. I only met her twice. Not here though. I was going to be employed at the home but I didn't like how Lori didn't raise her own children. I told Richard that and Lori didn't like how I cursed her in Spanish. How was I to know she knew Spanish?"

Rosa closed the door behind me as I took in the bedroom. The massiveness. The expensive furnishings. The masculine touches. I laid across the bed. California King. I imagined Rick making love to me on this very bed. That it would be our bed. We wouldn't have to hide are love or be on a timer. Sigh. I had to fight down the urge to call him. To let him know I made it safe. That I would wait for him. I would wait for him.