A/N: Wow, Life has kept me busy. The reviews kept me going so it's thanks to you guys that this chapter exsits


Darry's p.o.v

I stayed up later than Soda and Pony my thoughts still stuck on last night. I knew I had to talk with him but he probably hates me right now. I really did love him more than a brother but it was no excuse for what happened. He was under aged and I was his guardian. I was real worried that he might run away again or worse he would go into that shell he had when Johnny had been in the hospital. I should have kept in control of myself and I shouldn't have given Pony a sip of my drink. Then again he had taken a couple gulps but I was still the one who offered my drink. That Dallas had made. He's going to be lucky if I don't bust his head open.

My thoughts stayed on Ponyboy for awhile. I still couldn't believe what I made him do. He did hate me he had to after that. The nagging voice at the back of my head kept repeating that sentence over and over making me feel worse with every second that past by. Pretty quickly my eyes started to sting and I knew I was close to crying.

I had started noticing my brothers in my senior year of high school. My friends kept asking me why I never picked up any girls which my reply was always that I was to busy. I almost believed that lie too but then the dreams started and I knew it was more than that. I only had really dirty dreams about Soda back then, I guess that's because even my sub conscious thought Pony was a little young to go that far. That changed a week before Pony turned thirteen. I had gotten him a golden brown teddy bear for his birthday, it reminded me of his sweet personality and how he still seemed cute as a teenager. As soon as he tore the wrapping off I knew it was the wrong thing to get. He probably thought I was calling him a little kid. Mom asked if that was what I meant to do but I said of course not. She understood that and didn't pester me about it. Dad wasn't so forgiving about it and refused to let me drive the truck for a month. I felt awful about it so I gave Pony enough money for twelve trips to the nightly double. I think he forgave me for the teddy bear incident and I never knew what happened to berry. Yes I had named it, moving on. He had probably thrown the poor dejected bear out.

I had my whole future planned out before graduation but then mom and dad got in a car wreck. I still remember getting home from football practice with the phone ringing then rushing to the hospital in the ford only to be too late. The doctor gave me a note in moms' messy hand writing to take care of Pony and Soda. I would have anyways but when I had to tell them what happened I knew I couldn't cry with them. I had to stay strong for them, after all I was their guardian, but I still cried myself to sleep that night. I sealed myself off from everyone for three weeks. I can hardly remember our parents' funeral or my graduation. I remember waking up on a Sunday and deciding to snap out of it. I got my roofing job the next day.

A month into the new school year Soda dropped out without telling me or Ponyboy so he could work at the DX. We only found out because the school called two weeks later wondering if something happened to him. He cried when I went to talk to him about it and kept repeating that he was dumb. I hugged him tight and let him cry on my shoulder. I had remembered his report card from last year, only passing marks were gym and auto shop. I knew Soda would probably have to take a costly after school program to get his other grades up that year as well as re-take the classes he failed. I think Soda knew that to so I let him work at the DX where he wouldn't be miserable for the past few years and we needed the money if we planned on keeping our house. I know Ponyboy has a lot of smarts going for him but he always let that imagination of his get the best of him. I'm not saying imaginations a bad thing but he needs to keep it in check sometimes.

After that my feelings only seemed to get stronger so I started being a grouch to Soda and Pony so I wouldn't try anything and they wouldn't be close enough for an opportunity to come by. I was especially mean with Pony because he seemed so vulnerable back then and I knew I was stronger than him.

I wandered to the fridge and peered inside only to see that no one bothered to do groceries today. I looked on top of the fridge to find the Aspirin and dry swallowed two. I heard someone open the door quietly before tip toeing to the coach. Only one person was quiet so I got a pillow and two blankets from the hall closet and brought them to the living room. Johnny was already curled up sleeping when I put the blankets on him. I carefully lifted his head and slid the pillow underneath. I smiled glad that Johnny wouldn't be sleeping in the lot tonight. It was getting colder every day now and the weather girl said that a cold snap was coming. I sighed and searched the pantry for a snack and only found a granola bar. I heard a yelp from living room and chuckled a bit when I saw Dally had flopped down on the couch not realizing Johnny occupied it. I went to bed feeling a little better.

Johnny's p.o.v

The cold air passed through my jacket easily and I shivered. I decided not to sleep in the lot tonight. It was really getting chilly and I didn't want Dally mad. I really hoped he wouldn't find out I had feelings for him. He'd never speak to me again. Scratch that he'd kill me.

I thought of what Pony had told me today. I was still pretty shocked by it. I didn't let Pony know how surprised I was because he might think I was disgusted. In all honesty I was at first but that quickly faded once I really thought about it. Darry and Pony were pretty close since the incident and Ponyboy was my best friend. I could never abandon him.

A shiver ran up my spine remembering that night. Where the flames seemed to suffocate you with their light and the smoke made it feel like the fire was in your lungs.

I guess if they really loved each other then it was okay. After all it was pretty clear Pony was confused about the whole thing and needed some help getting his thoughts straight. I really thought they should talk things out. Their whole situation confused me but I guess it kind of made sense that Darry would need sex that bad. I'm not saying he should have just used Pony cause that's not like Darry at all but he never seemed to be with anyone for couple years now and well. Alright that's where it gets confusing for me why'd he have sex with Pony in the first place cause he either really loved Pony that way or he had a spontaneous sex drive which I really doubted.

I snuck into the living room quietly and lied down on the soft couch falling asleep almost instantly. I woke with a jolt when something heavy fell on top of me. I yelped and tried to scramble away but two hands grabbed my shoulders and span me around. I sighed when my eyes landed on Dallys ice blue eyes.

"Christ Johnny didn't know you were here." He said in a sharp whisper.

"Y-you told me to." I replied.

"I didn't think you'd listen."

I sighed and Dally took the other end of the couch. The cold air outside lowered the houses temperature a fair bit and I couldn't stop shivering. I wrapped the blanket tighter around me and curled up trying to get warmer but nothing was working.

"Would you stop twitching over there?"

"S-sorry." I stuttered

I hate how I stutter every time he talks to me. My teeth started chattering and my shivering got worse. Ever since I broke my back I've been real sensitive to the temperature changes. I felt the couch shift and thought Dally was leaving. Saying I felt pretty bad that he was leaving cause of me was a bit of an understatement.

I jumped slightly when he took the space beside me on the couch. I could feel a dark blush stain my face as Dally fell asleep beside me. He had no idea that trying to keep me warm affected my thoughts so badly. I calmed my libido by reminding myself of how Dally would react if he ever found out.

The couch was pretty small a so I had to squirm closer to Dally to prevent falling off the couch. After a long while a finally fell asleep wondering if things would always be like this. I always had to keep secrets from the people around me.

Ponyboys p.o.v

I woke with a little bit of a head ache. I could tell it was late by the hollers from the living room. It would be another typical morning for the Curtis gang. I dressed in an old grey t-shirt and faded pair of blue jeans and walked out of my bedroom for breakfast.

"Hey sleeping beauty bout time you got up." Two-bit yelled making my head pound.

"Aw shut it Two-bit I'm up now."

I sat next to him in front of the T.V where Mickey mouse danced on the screen. I looked around and noticed that Dally was awake lying on the couch talking to Soda and Steve about something, probably one of his stories from New York by the way Soda was cringing although he hid it well so Dallas didn't notice. What really caught my attention was that Johnny was sleeping right beside him curled up into his chest. I guess Dallas was telling them a New-York story because he took off his Jacket and shirt to show off a scar that ran from one side of his stomach to the other side of his chest bellow his collar bone.

"See the fucker tried to gut me but didn't get deep enough before I smashed my empty gun upside his head."

"Jesus Dallas and no one called the cops?" Soda asked.

"Soda it was New York no one gives a shit up there you could be missing half your face and people will just roll their eyes." Dally responded in his usual manner.

"Man that's brutal." Steve commented

"You bet it is now when's Darry getting back with the groceries I'm starving."

"He should be back anytime now." Soda said.

I went back to watching T.V with Two-bit who was laughing at Donald for spazzing. Everyone sat back for awhile and watched Mickey quietly which is weird since it's our gang but I guess everyone was pretty tired.

I heard the truck pull in to the drive way and me and Soda got up to help Darry with the groceries. The others stayed inside while we went outside where Darry had opened the passenger door to get the groceries easier. Soda grabbed a bag of groceries and went inside while I went for one as well but Darry stopped me.

"Listen pony w-we have to talk okay?"

I nodded not looking him in the eye; I didn't want him to see my blush. I grabbed a grocery bag and rushed inside passing a confused looking Soda and began placing the food in the fridge. I was real nervous about having to talk to Darry no forget nervous I was scared. If Darry regrets what happened he'll kick me out and I'll end up in a boys home for sure. If he finds out I liked it and I mean really liked it I'll be in a boy's home. But there was still the question I wanted answered so badly; what if he liked it to? My thoughts were interrupted by belts of laughter from the living room and the screen door opening and slamming shut.

"Hey Pony think FAST!"

I barely had time to react before Soda had me pinned against the counter top and in a head lock.

"Now say Uncle!"

"Soda put me down!"

"Not unless you say uncle."

I struggled for a bit but Soda had me pinned pretty good against the counter so I placed both my feet on the cupboard doors underneath the counter top and pushed as hard as I could. Soda stumbled backwards and fell taking both of us crashing to the floor. I ran off laughing and Soda chased me to the bedroom.

We'd been playing this game since we were small. Soda would start something and end up chasing me to my room where we wrestled. I tried to jump over the bed but Soda tackled me on top of it. I was stuck on my stomach with my armed pinned behind my back and Soda lying on top of me so I couldn't get up.

"Now you gotta say Uncle 'cause I ain't getting' up."

"Come on Soda."

"That's too bad Pony."

I started struggling again pushing upwards with my free arm and trying to get some footing but my feet were tangled in the sheets so I tried to get on my knees.

"D-don't do that!"

I was kind of confused that Soda sounded so panicked but I brushed it off as him not wanting to lose but when I pushed upwards with all that my one arm could muster my hips brushed against his and I felt the problem. Soda gave a loud gasp and fell off the bed just before Darry came through the door.

"Hey kid I need to talk to you."

"Bu-"

"Now Pony."

I nodded and glanced at Soda who was sitting cross legged avoiding eye contact before I followed Darry to his room where we could talk in private. I sat on the bed and wrung my hands together. My blood pressure shot through the roof and I was sweatin pretty bad. Darry sat beside me and rubbed circles on my back knowing I was nervous. I felt my eyes sting and knew I was gonna start crying soon.

"Pony listen I ain't gonna kick ya out."

A let out the breath I wasn't aware I was holding and started breathing again as Darry continued.

"But I understand if you wanna leave; Pony I-I'm so sorry I-I just don't hate me please."

I whipped my head around and looked at Darry. He seemed just as scared as I was until I looked him in his eyes. Darrys eyes still held their strong gaze but the tears that threatened to fall made it hard for me to choke back a sob. I realized then that this was probably tearing Darry up inside and it was either entirely my fault or I was partially to blame. I hugged him tightly whispering that I didn't hate him over and over while tears spilled from my eyes and Darry wrapped his arms around me in a warm embrace. We stayed like that for awhile until I calmed down and stopped crying. I started to speak but my first sentence was mumbled.

"D-Darry what will the gang think?"

"What Pony?"

"What's the gang gonna do if they find out? I already told Johnny."

"You told Johnny?"

"Y-yeah don't worry he ain't gonna tell anybody else."

"Alright I don't know what the gang will do it's probably best if no one else finds out okay?"

"Yeah I guess so."

"That means keeping it from Sodapop."

I bit my lip; I hated keeping things from Sodapop it was almost like lying to him, because I wasn't letting him see the truth. I thought a little longer and Darry kept rubbing circles on my back and it was really helping me relax.

"I guess so bu-"

"Soda might not take it to well Pony and what if he does something drastic or tells someone else." I had to think hard and decided I wasn't gonna lie to soda, he didn't deserve that.

"All right I won't tell only if he doesn't ask."

"Alright I don't want you to lie if ya don't want to."

"Thanks Dar."

He kissed my cheek and I nuzzled his neck while we were still hugging before letting go. He went to go make breakfast and I went back to watching TV. Johnny woke up and blushed when his first sight of the morning was a bare chested Dallas. No one noticed but me so I had to hold in a small laugh. As I sat on the living room floor soaking up the optimistic atmosphere I felt a wave of relief wash over me. Darry did love me things would be alright from now on and there was hardly anything to worry about. I really felt like things were going to go smoothly from then on.

Sodapops p.o.v

I screwed up. I screwed up BIG time. Real stupid there Soda, you make the gang proud. A billion thoughts like those kept streaming through my head like a radio signal. My lungs felt like they were trapped in a straight jacket as I tried to keep from crying. Pony had just left with Darry and I kept praying he didn't think about what just happened. We were just wrestling like we always were when I thought about what I could do to him in that position then my mind went off to rant on everything else I could do to him. Before I knew it I had pitched a tent in my pants and struggled to control my breathing while I had Pony pinned underneath me. Since we were wrestling Pony struggled and ended up brush up against my problem.

Now I can't blame Pony for what happened. You're supposed to put up a fair fight when wrestling and it was my feelings that were messing things up. I calmed down after awhile and checked how red my eyes were with the mirror me and Pony kept on the bedside table. My eyes didn't seem too red so I left the bedroom to take a walk. Steve was in the kitchen and I told him where I'd be. He nodded and went back to the living room to watch TV. I swear two bit got the whole gang addicted to that mouse.

I had walked for awhile and my feet were getting sore. I looked around and realized I had wandered into one of the old parks. It had a couple trees to one side of it and a play ground with a fountain that was a little far off. I sat in one of the swings gently swaying back and forth with every kick in the dirt. I jumped when I saw a green mustang pull up and six Socs pile out. It was only ten in the morning and I could tell they were drunk. I looked around for something I could find as a weapon. I didn't find anything and in a blur of madras jackets they had me trapped. Two held my arms and two held my legs.

"Well, well, grease at least one of you decided to crawl out of your dirt shacks to play." The big one said, he looked liked the leader

"Hey back off you guys are way outta your territory." I tried to put strength in my voice but truthfully I was scared.

"Aw you don't like that do ya grease monkey." His gang laughed and one of them pulled out a switch.

They cut my shirt open and I started freaking out and no matter how much I struggled I couldn't break loose. The big one slipped on a pair of brass knuckles and I knew things were gonna get rough.

"You ain't gonna look so pretty when we're done with you grease."

He slugged me in the ribs over and over until I heard something crack and damn near screamed as the pain burned with a viscous intensity. They laughed as I whimpered, tears streaming down my face. The beating continued until the sound of shouts came from the side of the park and the Socs dropped me. I heard running foot steps as I kept my eyes clenched shut and curled up into the fetal position. My ribs hurt so much that each breath was almost unbearable. I felt some ones hand gently rest on one of my shoulders and I knew it was one of the gang.

"Hey lil buddy it's gonna be alright now they're gone now."

"D-Darry, is that you?" My voice was shaking.

"Yeah it's me just relax okay I'm gonna carry you home."

I nodded and Darry gently cradled me in his strong arms as he walked. I heard Steve Dally and Two bit cussing behind us about the Socs getting away. We reached the house pretty quickly since I didn't walk to long. Johnny and Pony had been told to stay and serve breakfast while the rest came to help me. Steve had been sent out earlier to get me for breakfast and saw that the Socs had me and ran back to the gang for back up. It was the best thing to do. If Steve had just simply charged at the Socs they would have beaten him to.

Darry sat down in his chair holding me close. I felt safe even though my ribs still hurt. This was one of the rare moments I was able to just cuddle up to Darry with out it being awkward for him. Darry wasn't a big fan for physical contact, at least that was how it seemed like to me. Even though Darry seemed like a real hard ass sometimes I knew he had a big heart. After awhile Darry got up and put me down to call my boss. I got two days off work even though Darry asked for a week. He was going to take me to the hospital the next day. I ate a little bit of breakfast before lying down. My ribs were killing me.

Ponyboys p.o.v

Darry called breakfast and everyone filed in. Well some of us filed in.

"Hey where's Soda?" I asked surprised, he's usually the first one to the table.

"He went for a walk." Darry smacked Steve upside the head and said.

"Then go get him."

Steve left while the rest of us ate only to come back five minutes later.

"Guys Socs got Soda!" Darry stood immediately being the first to speak. "Steve you lead me Dally and Two bit to 'em Pony you and Johnny stay here."

I was going to protest but the three had already left. Me and Johnny looked at each other and shrugged. There was nothing we could except make sure the rest of breakfast didn't burn.

I was shocked when Darry came through the door with a beaten Sodapop. Darry held him for awhile letting Soda calm down; I don't think he realized he was crying. Soda didn't eat much and had to go to bed right after breakfast. He told everyone he was fine but we had already seen the damage. Sodas white shirt was ripped open. Spots of crimson stained the fabric where blood had seeped through and bruises already started forming on his chest.

It was yet another typical Soc jumping. It was the life of a greaser. You live get beat down rise and live another day. It may sound bitter but it was how we live. It was how every greaser lived. But knowing that didn't make it any easier to see my brother beat up like that.


A/N: I know, I know, it's not nice to pick on the happy blonde. But trust me when I say it's for the plot.

Reviews are nice!