What really happened to Bella? How was she changed and why? What made her run away.. Especially without Jasper.

Well sweetie. Read this and find out.

I'm trying hard to keep the chapters longer than my other stories.

So please keep reviewing and encouraging me. It is greatly appreciated.

So, here is the long awaited, Bella point of view.


It's been a while
Since I could hold my head up high
and it's been a while
Since I first saw you
It's been a while

Since i could stand on my own two feet again
and it's been a while
Since i could call you
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means.

It's Been a While - Staind.

Bella POV (Before she was turned. 17 years old)

"Jazz, I don't feel all that well. I think I'm gonna go home before I throw up." I tried to smile.

"Okay, Bells. You need a ride?" He asked. I shook my head, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek.

I loved Jasper so much that it caused me physical pain. He was always there. Part of me wished he hadn't walked in on me and James. But I was the idiot screaming. It was to be expected of, really.

I knew Charlie would be home. He didn't work. He fucked around all day, drinking beer, doing drugs. I don't think he even noticed when I would steal some and use it as my own release.

I walked home at a slow pace. The slower I walked, the more time I would kill. By the time I reached my house, I peeked through the window. Charlie was passed out on the couch, surrounded by bottles of empty beer on the ground, the TV blearing its noise of a football game. I sighed and walked into the house quietly, texting Jasper, telling him I loved him.

The stairs were my next challenge. I snuck up as quietly as I could. Surprisingly, luck was on my side. The floorboards didn't creak or anything. I sighed thankfully and walked down the narrow hall to my room. I pushed the door slightly and entred. The door slammed and I felt large hands grip around my wrists. I knew who it was straight away.

James.

He smiled sadistically, his blue eyes as haunting as they were in my dreams. My eyes were emotionless. I didn't give him the pleasure of my screaming, or thrashing around. He liked it. Sick fucking bastard liked it. Something about the fight. The chase. and then winning.

"Hello, my Bella." He smirked.

"Hello, sick fuck." I spat back. He growled and backhanded me across the face.

"Don't talk back, Bella." He hissed.

"Whatever." I sneered. I recieved a punch in the ribs. "Fuck you!" I yelled.

"Shh.. Don't want to wake your father now, do we? What would he think?" Charlie didn't know James was here? Fuck, this was bad. I felt a sharp pain in my had before falling into the dark.


I woke up in unfimiliar surroundings. This place was cold and dark. I wasn't wearing my clothes I wore at school.

I was wearing a really short mini skirt that was black with silver studs in the top, and a black corset style tube top.

Only one sick fuck loved this shit, and that was James. I looked to the left, and then the right. AS far as I could see into the darkness, nothing was there. I sat up slowly, holding my head. I had a splitting headache.

"Ah, she wakes!" I heard James voice. I jumped slightly and turned to the direction it came from. Before I thought about it I was dashing out of the room. I opened doors, slammed doors and found a bathroom. This one had a lock on it. I locked the door and balled myself up tightly in a corner and cried.

"Bella! You fucking open this door right now!" James yelled. I didn't say anything.

"Come on, Bella. We were looking for fun.." Shit, who the fuck was that? There was more than one? I thrashed around the bathroom, looking for something sharp.

This was going to end now.

I opened up the medicine cabinet as the banging on the door got louder.

Pills. Drugs. Smokes. Whiskey. Cotton buds, well what do you know? He does care about hygeine after all.. Shavers, plastic wrapping, rubbish, scissors. Bingo. Scissors. I grabbed the scissors and yanked them from the shelf, before throwing mself out the window.

It wasn't that far down, thank fuck. I heard the door break open and pushed my feet hard against the ground, sprinting away as far and as fast as I could.

"Bitch!" I heard James yell loudly. It only made me run faster. I reached an alleyway somewhere. I didn't even know where I was now. I held the scissors tightly in my right hand.

"I am so, so sorry, Jasper." I plunged the blades of the scissors deeply from the middle of my wrist and dragged it up to my elbow. A red line of blood followed my mark.

"You'll never forgive me." I whispered as I swapped hands and dragged it across my other arm.

A small smile found it's way onto my face. I was going to be free. I waited for the blood loss to start kicking in. My head started spinning and my eyes started to feel heavy.

"I'll miss you." I whispered into the empty alley, closing me eyes.

"Char!" I heard a mans voice. I wanted to open my eyes and look, but they were to heavy now. I heard a gasp.

"What happened to her?" A feminine voice asked, clearly horrified. You don't wanna know, sweetie.

The blood was pumping faster and out of my wrists through the nice new exit way.

"Change her." The male voice said again. Change me into what? I've been moulded into more things than you can imagine and they still wanna change me? Fucking assholes.

"You have more control than me." The woman argued. I heard a low growl. I knew I was starting to slip into unconciousness. I tried to smile a small smile. This was it. Any last words?

I love you Jasper.

Then I felt a sharp pain in my neck. And the fire started.


I opened my eyes when I heard my heart stop beating. Everything was so clear. I could hear for miles. Was this what it was like to be dead? I looked down at my wrists. There was only an extremely faint scar that wasn't even visible to the naked eye. But I could see it. I lifted up my grey tshirt.

Wait, this tshirt didn't look like mine. I checked to see if my tattoo was still there. It was. I heard a gasp, my head snapped forward at such a fast pace, I thought my neck would snap. But it didn't. It didn't even hurt.

I stared at a beautiful blonde woman. Her blonde hair was longer than mine, but not by too much. She was deathly pale, I looked at my skin.. Like me. She was bigger than me, I knew that much, but she was still small. I looked into her eyes. They were a dull red.

I saw my reflection in her eyes, even from the distance. My hair was darker and pin straight. My skin was just as pale. Any fat in my face I had was gone. Any fat anywhere was gone. And my eyes.. They were the brightest red I had ever seen. (Bella on profile)

"Hi. I'm Charlotte." The woman said softly, pointing to herself. I had to laugh slightly.

"What is this, Tarzan?" I said sarcastically. She laughed too.

"Yeah.. Sorry. Whats your name sweetie?" She asked. A sort of yellow glow was surrounding her.

"Bella.. Whats that yellow?" I asked. Her eyes widened.

"That means I'm happy. But.. Only I can read auras.. And Peter changed you.. Well, I bit your wrists.."

"Wait, what?" I hissed.

She took a breath, making me only just realise I hadn't been breathing. And I didn't need to. "Bella, you were dieing. Do you remember?" Her voice was soft and sad. The glow turned to a faded yellow to blue. Sadness?

I remembered running away from James. And his friend. I remember telling Jasper I loved him. I remember running away and cutting my wrists. The two people talking were..

"They were us, Yes. I'm sorry.. But you were dieing, Bella. You cut your own wrists and.. so.. So deep.." Her frame was shaking and she was choking on her sobs. She was really upset by this? I didn't know what to do.

So I did what I would have done for any of my friends. I stood and slowly walked toward her, wrapping my arms around her. She gasped slightly.

"Your instincts should be telling you to attack me." I was confused.

"Bella, your a vampire." She said bluntly, but softly.

"I don't care. My intincts tell me to protect you. And who ever else is in this house. So whoever the fuck you are, come meet me before I rip your arm off and shove it down your throat."

A male vampire with sandy blonde hair walked in. He was waay taller than both me and Charlotte. He had the same red eyes.

"The red eyes are because we drink blood, Bella. Ours are dull because we haven't left your side since your change. Char changed you, hope you don't mind. The blood was getting a bit much. You didn't make a sound, you know. I'm Peter." He finally introduced himself, but it was useful information.

"Now, we need to hunt. Any selections?" He asked. I nodded. I was fucking coming for you, James.

I was sprinting out the door and toward where I knew James would be. His scent, his face was forever etched in my memory.

"Bella, wait!" Char pleaded. I waited.

"We have to take precautions. Make sure you don't massacre the town." I only nodded in return and ran at a slower pace for the two of them to follow.

We reached James apartment not too long after.

"I want you two to stay out of sight." I ordered. They both nodded and stood on either side of a wall as we jumped through the bathroom window. I put my finger to my lips, beckoning them to be silent. They were. I threw the door open and made my way into the lounge.

"Well, well. Look who couldn't resist and had to come back.." James laughed. He looked at me and I knew he was fearful. His heart started thumping faster in his chest and I could smell him start to sweat. He tried to smirk.

"Let's get back to it, then." He started walking toward me slowly, unbuttoning his top. I was infront of him holding him by the throat all at vampire speed. He gargled and choked, thrashing about to get out of my grasp.

"How does it feel to be the one thrashing and fighting for your life, James?" I whispered darkly. He didn't say anything, just kept choking as he started to turn purple.

"Do you know what it's like to feel this pain? The rape was enough, but the beatings too? You were always pathetic.." I snapped his wrist with the hand that wasn't holding him. Char and Peter came running into the room growling.

"You what?" Charlotte hissed at him.

"I think we heard correct, Char." Peter stated, his jaw clenched. How could these to feel so much for me after such a short amount of time.

"I think it's time for you to die, don't you, James? How many other girls have you raped?" I said calmly, cocking my head to the side.

"Only you, slut." He managed to get out. I laughed lightly.

"No more play time." I hissed and sunk my teeth into his neck and drained him.


2 Years Later.

They say that human memories fade over time.

The longer your a vampire, the more fuzzy your memories get.

But I never forgot. I missed Jasper so much. I kept trying to go back and see him. But I was a newborn, I couldn't. And the thought of being without Jasper killed me.

We were nomads for a long time, just running everywhere, never really having a house. Until we met Jake.

Jacob was a werewolf. Plain and blunt. But thats what he was. The memorey made me laugh. We came across each other when we were hunting in Washington.

Him and his pack were looking for any stray vamps to take out. We got in a huge fight, with me holding my teeth to Jake's neck. He gae in and told everyone to back off.

After we basically proved ourselves to him, they accepted us. So long as we didn't take down any humans from Forks or La Push. We could stay even. We were welcome.

We brought a house in Forks. I had no idea where the money came from. Over the years, we just picked stuff up. We stole from our victims too, maybe that helped. But they didn't need it anymore, did they?

While we were travelling, we stayed with the volturi. I managed to pick up all the guards abilities, including Aro's and Marcus's. I didn't know if Cauis even had a power. Cauis was extremely nice to me, but I just couldn't take on a mate. He accepted that and said if I ever changed my ind, I was always welcome back.

I loved Jasper. And now that he was out of my life, I knew I really loved Jasper, more than I probably should.

"Bellsy baby, you ready?" I heard Jake ask. I sighed.

"Yeah, hang on." I said pulling on my converse. I looked in the mirror. My red eyes were bright from hunting yesterday and framed in black mascara and eyeliner and grey black eye shadow. My hair was waved perfectly and just touched under my shoulder blades. I wore a grey cardi over top of my black tank top with dark purple skinny jeans.

I looked fucking good.

"Alright honey, fuck you look hot!" Jake yelled when he saw me. I laughed.

"Aren't I always?" I joked. I wasn't really vain, or as cold hearted as everyone thought I was. I just put alot of effort into my looks and alienated people now.

I only had Jake, Peter and Char. They were my family.

"Can I ride with you?" Jake asked, I laughed and nodded walking out to my baby.


Lunch. Great. Another day where we had to get that dirt they called human food and pretend to eat it. We never even touched it, Jake ate it. All of it.

Fucking werewolves, I tell you now. They eat SO much.

"Bella." Peter pointed across the room where a tall boy stood with honey blonde hair. Fuck, he looked so much like Jasper. He turned his head, his blue eyes connecting with mine. Then they widened as they recognized me.


Really really long chapter. 2,930 words, shit!

You better review for this.

I edited my chapter four, then posted it, realised I wrote Char and Bella as sister under the name of Brandon, then called them Cullens! SO I deleted it and reposted it and guess what? it's fucking gone!

So I made up for it in this long ass chapter.

Hmm.. I want to hit maybe 55 reviews before the next chappie cause this one is sooo long.

I'm off to watch Glee now lol, I've never actually watched it.

Love BHD

Xx