The sky was overcast as signs of rain teased the small gathering below. From her view in the back row Meredith could seen his down cast head. From time to time he would glance up gazing out at the crowd a stoic look poised upon his face.

She stood through the service, a pain of hurt crowding her heart as she imagined the turmoil he was suffering through. A soft sound of music accompanied the minister as Derek stood and walked toward the mahogany coffin placing a single rose atop it he paused momentarily finally turning to walk away. Weeping coming from the crowd accompanied each step he took.

He brushed past her, his arm gently knocking her. She followed him instinctively. Racing after him as her heels sunk into the soggy ground. Damn Seattle and damn all this rain.

"Derek!" she called his name desperately having a hard time keeping up.

He ignored her pleas. Determined to get out of here. The limo was in sight and as he was determined to flee wanting to distance himself from everyone around.

Turning to face her he had a hard time looking into her eyes. A guilt built up inside him every time he looked at her. Knowing the feelings for her that had once been built around friendship had turned to lust and desire. He felt dirty, shamed. His marriage had broken into shambles and instead of fixing it he had lusted after his best friend.

He knew she was standing behind him. He could smell the scent of lavender mixing with the small drops of rain that were falling around them.

"Derek please…" she asked him as she finally caught up.

She grabbed the back of his suit jacket. Stopping him in his tracks. He turned to face her. The once warm inviting depths of his blue eyes were cold. Hatred seemed to have overtaken love and he appeared empty.

"Derek" her voice thick with emotion she felt the first tear fall as he pulled away as if her touch burned.

"Don't-I don't need you…I don't need anyone."

She watched him walk away sobs overtaking her. He was hurting and though he had never been hers, she had carried an unrequited love around for a man who was married. As she watched his defeated steps carry him across the cemetery to the awaiting limo her heart broke for the broken man he had become.

Derek stepped into the back of the limo no destination in mind but knowing he was not ready to go back to Sara's parents. Knowing he was unable to face the crowd of loved ones who pitied him. He didn't deserve their pity, he didn't deserve to feel anything.

Watching the streets pass through the tinted windows of the limo he felt like a voyeur as he silently watched the people outside living their lives. Pulling the flask of scotch from his suit jacket. Sighing he took the first sip of the amber liquid and prayed the numbness of the alcohol would ease him into oblivion.

His marriage was over long before now but the aspect of never seeing her again hurt. Divorce he could have faced-watching her move on, living a life without him. This however was cruel. This was painful as he thought of the woman he had loved.

His hand gripping the flask tightly he used his free hand to loosen the tie that was now beginning to strangle him. Tearing the indigo fabric free he fought to gain control of his labored breaths. The city view had disappeared and now they were traveling down an all but vacant country road. A huge for sale sign above caused him to call out to the driver "stop."

The limo came to a slow halt as Derek stepped out. His footsteps determined as they walked forward. Leaving the road he followed the sign and began walking at a faster pace down a gravel drive. At the end of the path he was greeted with an open field. Land of green grass stretched as far as the eye could see, falling to his knees he gave into his grief as he over looked out over the view of Seattle. Small drops of rain began to fall on his Armani suit clinging to the strands of hair that flitted across his forehead. Lying on the ground alone he let out his grief but more than anything he tried to will away the anger that was blackening his soul as he screamed in anguish thankful no one was around to hear him.