Kryptos was sitting at a table, working on a 28260277-piece jigsaw puzzle. As he was searching for one of the edge pieces, he saw a pinkish-purple speck of ash fall from above him and onto the table, burning a hole in it. He sighed, knowing from experience what this signified.
He turned around and was met with the grinning face of Pyronica. She wasn't especially large, but she still towered over Kryptos, though that may have been because he was quite small. Clenched between her grinning teeth was a gigantic, tremendously fat lavender-coloured stogie, the glowing tip being the source of the ash. The smoke from the cigar formed the shape of a happy face.
"Hey, Kryptos." she said happily. "Got a light?"
Kyrptos pointed at the ever-glowing cigar in Pyronica's mouth. "Uh, I think it's already lit."
Pyronica laughed before placing a hand on the general area where Kryptos' shoulder might be if he had one. "Fancy a game of poker?" she asked.
"I'm not sure." said Kryptos. "Whenever you play poker, or most other games for that matter, whenever anybody loses you tend to eat them."
"Only temporarily!" said Pyronica.
Kryptos sighed again and said "Alright, I guess I can give it a go."
Pyronica snapped her fingers as a cannon appeared behind her. She took a seat in the cannon and lit the fuse with her cigar before the cannon fired her through the air across the table. She did a mid-air somersault before landing on the other side of the table and taking a seat.
"Was that really necessary?" asked Kryptos.
"Not really!" said Pyronica cheerfully. She snapped her fingers again, causing a deck of cards and a few stacks of chips to appear on the table. As she dealt the cards, she said "So, let's decide the stakes for this game."
Pyronica thought for a moment, the smoke from her cigar forming a question mark.
"I got it!" she said. "If I win, I get to swallow you whole for the next seven centuries."
Kryptos cringed slightly. He had been in Pyronica's stomach on more than one occasion, as had pretty much everybody smaller than Pyronica, and he didn't consider it a very nice place to be.
Pyronica said "If you win, hmmmm..."
Pyronica continued thinking. "Would you get to swallow me whole? No, I don't think that would work. Would you get to turn me into ice? I'm not sure you can do that."
"Maybe you could run a hot lava bath for me?" suggested Kryptos.
"Hm, I suppose I could do that." said Pyronica. "Alright, let's start."
They played poker for a while. Over time,Kryptos noticed something odd about the smoke coming out of Pyronica's cigar. It seemed to form into shapes that signified her poker hand. Kryptos decided not to tell her as he payed close attention to the smoke throughout the game.
Over time, Kryptos won more and more poker hands as Pyronica lost more and more chips.
Eventually Kryptos won the final hand and Pyronica groaned. "Alright, I guess you won. How did you get to be so good at this game?"
Kryptos pointed to the colossal cigar in Pyronica's mouth. She noticed the smoke forming into shapes.
"Oh, right, that." she grinned, somewhat embarrassed. "I guess that is pretty clever.
Kryptos began to smile before he noticed the smoke from Pyronica's cigar was forming the shape of an evil grin.
Pyronica said "But it's also cheating, and that means you're disqualified, so down my gullet you go!"
Pyronica's tongue shot out of her mouth at record speed and latched onto Kryptos, pulling him into her mouth where she swallowed him whole.
Kyrptos landed in Pyronica's stomach with a thud.
Pyronica patted her stomach as she smirked proudly. "Get comfortable in there. It's gonna be a long seven centuries."
"Just great." muttered Kryptos "Could I at least have my jigsaw puzzle in here?"
"Sure." said Pyronica, who proceeded to swallow all of the jigsaw pieces, along with the entire table they were on.
"That's better." called Kryptos' voice from Pyronica's stomach.
