Chapter Four

I had to admit. I was curious.

I knew our plan was important, but it also meant a lot to me to find out whether or not Shannon and the others actually were on their way to Colorado. Now that we were actually free to leave, I wanted to go look for myself.

Weirdly, he didn't complain when I veered off course. He just followed. This time, instead of stopping in Utah, I kept going. Further south than I'd ever been. The woods gave way to the barer, rockier area. The clouds faded away behind us, revealing clearer late evening skies. The air became lighter, less damp.

I didn't pick up their scent at all during this run, but I wasn't surprised. If they had Reese with them the whole time, that wasn't shocking.

But how was I supposed to know where this place was without some kind of scent to follow? She never told me right where it was. Just that I'd know.

Maybe they hadn't actually left like they said they would?

I was about to give up and change my mind when I did catch one of the Tacoma coven's scents. I recognized it as Nicole, one of the three older members, the scout. I'd met her once, and and every other time, she was out and about. Keeping track of the area.

Her job was just as important as anyone else's, but the one time I did meet her, she seemed like a real flighty thing. Very shy, but not in the good way. More like the nervous way. Intimidating way.

I really wasn't sure what it was. Though I feared her, I didn't mind being around her. It was familiar, almost, to the way I usually felt around Jack.

I followed her scent further into the less populated areas, Jack staying right behind me. He was almost like a tail at this point. I was just starting to appreciate his silence when he spoke up.

"This isn't New York." He barked, and at first, I ignored him. I ignored him until he grabbed my arm. Slowing us both to a stop.

"What?" I demanded, jerking my arm free.

"Where the fuck are you going?" He demanded right back, "I'm not sure how bad you fucking suck at reading a map-"

"I know this isn't New York." I snapped, "I came here for a reason."

Before he could reply, though, the scent we'd been following started our direction. As it neared, Jack looked at me and glared.

"I know her." I assured him without looking at him, "Well, she knows me." There was a huge difference between the two.

Before she got there, though, her scent changed ever so slightly. It was so subtle, I wasn't sure at first. Her scent got deeper, but lighter at the same time. Like she was with someone, but it was only her approaching.

It confused me, making my sense of hearing and sense of smell argue for a second and I didn't like that.

"What?" Jack asked, and I realized my expression must have given away my sense of unease.

"Shh." I hissed at him, studying the direction of Nicole's approach. He sighed loudly, annoyed, but he didn't say anything else.

Seconds later, Nicole stood there, studying me in much the same way I studied her. To my nervousness, I could swear she was looking at me like she'd never seen me before. I had felt this way before.

Like she didn't know me. Like two stranger cats who'd just crossed paths. One clearly more intimidated than the other. It really reminded me of the way Jasper always looked at me.

What the hell was wrong with her? Jack had never seen her before, so it couldn't have been that.

"Nicole?" I spoke first, hoping she would at least recognize my voice. This was very unsettling.

"Who are you?" She demanded right back, and having it confirmed like that just made it worse.

"You know me, remember?" I asked, and for a moment, she paused.

Subtly, her scent changed again. For half of a split second, less time than it took to blink, I caught it. The scent buried, hidden under hers.

I knew that scent, though I'd never actually smelled it before.

This wasn't Nicole. I must have looked so stupid, standing there in such a tense moment as a smile spread across my face. This realization would probably seem pretty strange to who stood in front of me, having taken the appearance of someone else.

"Eli." I couldn't help smiling. It wasn't a question because I knew I was right, and I was sure it threw him off. Given the way his expression changed dramatically, forming surprise that his cover had been blown.

Someone he'd never met saying his name despite his best efforts to be someone else was enough to make him drop the act.

It startled Jack beside me, as I knew he wasn't expecting it, and I almost laughed at his reaction. I would have, had I not been so happy to see Eli. It was such a sight for sore eyes. Someone from my most recent visions.

His blonde hair was just the same as I always remembered it, his round, crimson eyes comforting in their familiarity. I'd been much older when I'd seen him last, so he seemed bigger to me than I was used to seeing him.

"Who are you?" He asked again, this time his tone reflected his surprise.

I went to answer, but I cut myself off. Remembering something crucial.

The Tacoma kids were coming here. They'd obviously never crossed paths at any point before, because they'd always been perfectly comfortable in Tacoma, and had never come this way so early into the Seattle plan. That, and Eli was always alone when Jack found him. Eli was Shannon's age. He'd be a perfect candidate for their group.

I had to start somewhere, though.

"Where did you get that appearance?" I asked, and he hesitated.

"She was here earlier." He eventually answered, his gaze glancing toward Jack, "I saw her, but she didn't see me. Who are you?"

"You don't know me." Clearly.

"But you know me?" He frowned.

"It's.." I hesitated a second, "A gift of mine." He seemed surprised again, but less cautious. I spoke again before I could lose that, "I'm Leandra. This is Jack."

He glanced at Jack again, clearly feeling his natural intimidation. I couldn't help hating that sight, even if Eli was always sort of immune to Jack's gift.

"Just.." I brought Eli's attention back to me, "There are others. More coming here tonight. Like me. My age, I mean."

"More kids?" He asked, and I nodded a little. Ignoring Jack as he looked down at me. I knew we would have to leave before they would even think about showing up. I knew once they caught on to Eli, they would take it from there.

"Meet them." I urged, "They're all just looking for a safe place."

He seemed skeptical.

"I'm a nomad." He replied simply.

"Just trust me, okay?" I argued quietly. Of course, I was thinking about Reese. I couldn't help it, remembering her reaction the day I mentioned Eli's name.

It was an awkward thirty minute wait, but sure enough, I listened as a handful of others headed our way. Before I could even say anything to prepare him, the smallest, cutest voice I'd ever heard startled me into turning sharply, the other two of us standing there doing the same.

"Eli!" Reese literally came running out of nowhere, running full force toward Eli standing across from us. My jaw dropped the second I realized that that shout had come from her.

Shannon suddenly stopped to my other side, pure astonishment across her features as she heard Reese actually speak for the first time. At a complete stranger, nonetheless.

Eli seemed just as shocked as both Shannon and I were.

"What the fuck is this?" Jack finally barked, "Sesame Street?"

I realized what he meant as I just then looked back. Gage stood back, along with Brett, the twins and Mary.

The others must have stayed back. Technically, though, Jack was the first adult connected to me they'd ever seen. They stayed back. None of them daring to move forward, despite the momentous occasion.

My attention was back on Eli. Only enough time had passed to see Reese reach him, instantly attaching herself to him with enough force to nearly knock him over.

"She spoke." Shannon stated the obvious, but I truly couldn't blame her for being shocked beyond words.

"Wait, wait, wait." Eli ignored us, struggling back enough to look down at Reese. I watched in silence as he studied her face. She beamed up at him with a smile holding nothing back. A smile I'd never seen before.

He seemed breathless now, "Brianna?"

I wasn't sure how it happened, but her smile got even brighter. Forcing forward and hugging him again. This time he returned it. Actually dropping down to hug her as well. He actually seemed sad at seeing her, and I knew exactly why. I couldn't imagine how hard it had to be to know someone you knew was turned so young.

"What?" Shannon asked, breathless as well.

"She's my youngest cousin." Eli thought to explain, and I smiled, "Brianna."

"Where were you?" Reese, now Brianna, looked at him. I was just as shocked at hearing her speak now as I was moments ago. Shannon and the others just stared.

Brianna's question hadn't been accusing at all. More curious.

"What happened to you?" He asked, looking her over.

She whimpered, her smile instantly fading. Whatever her story was, she wasn't about to talk about it, but she obviously remembered it.

"Okay." Eli read her expression with sadness of his own, hugging her again. She clung to him this time, but he didn't seem to mind that.

"Who are you?" Gage asked, staying back.

"This is Eli." I answered before he could, "He's an old friend of mine." Eli looked over at me, but just smiled. I could easily read the gratitude in his eyes. Though I smiled at him in return, that smile faded as he looked back down at Brianna.

I'd just brought them back together when who knew how long they'd been apart. It did feel good to do that for them, but once again, it made me feel pretty sad as well. I'd given something to them that I would probably never have myself.

I looked over at Shannon.

"He's a good kid." I assured her, "I think she wants him to stay."

"He's in good hands." She replied, giving me a small nod, "We had no idea he was out here."

"I didn't either." I admitted, "I'm glad I found him, though."

"Did you find Carlisle yet?" She asked almost hesitantly. Sadly, I looked down.

"No." I murmured, "They could be anywhere."

Her expression was just as sad as mine was as I looked back up at her. I knew exactly what she wanted to say, but probably for my benefit, she didn't say it. She was going to tell me to stay, but I just couldn't. I didn't have the closure I needed yet.

"Leandra?" Gage took my attention, but his glare was on Jack watching them with a smirk. I didn't see Brett anymore, but I assumed he was still around here somewhere.

"Don't worry about him." I replied, "We're going." The last thing I needed was for Jack to find entertainment in tormenting them.

Beside me, I knew Shannon was about to protest, but Eli spoke up instead.

"Thank you." He said, and I looked back at him, "Really."

"I'm sure the others will fill you in." I replied with a small smile, "Be patient with her, okay? She's been through a lot."

"Don't worry about that." He agreed easily, "She'll never be alone again." That made me really happy to hear. I knew Eli. I knew he would never lose her again.

"We'll keep watch." Shannon told me and I nodded a little, "If we see anyone, we'll send them your way. Good luck, Leandra." I appreciated that.

Thankfully, Jack followed me when I started off. It meant my promise of whatever it took was more entertaining to him than bothering the others. I felt confident that Eli really was in good hands now. It meant he wouldn't be joining the coven north that would have eventually found Jack. Eli would have an easier life, and with finding Brianna, I knew he would stick around because he had a tie to them now.

"I take it those brats are the reason you flipped out in Tacoma?" Jack asked, and I looked over.

What he said wasn't even that bad, but I was already having such a hard time controlling my emotions, I had to stop.

"You don't get it, do you?" I snapped in return, watching as he stopped as well.

"No." He scoffed, "Fucking obviously."

"Those brats are all I have left." I pointed out, and he sighed hard, rolling his eyes.

"For fuck's sake." He grumbled, "Here we go."

Very briefly, thoughts of hitting him crawled through my mind, but I easily recalled his stance against that, and I shook those thoughts off. Attacking him in any way wasn't smart. I knew better.

"This would be a lot easier if you didn't talk." I finally muttered bitterly, "I still hate you."

"Good." He replied easily, "You're gonna hate me a lot more before I'm done with you." Great.

I sighed next, "I'm not afraid of you. I'm too tired to be afraid anymore, so whatever you say isn't gonna scare me." He chuckled, and I looked down. I was so glad I could amuse him.

"Really." I insisted, shutting him up, "I already know that trying to scare me is what you live for, but it's not gonna work. What's the worst you could do? Kill me? That's what I want. I'm not afraid."

He didn't laugh this time. He still smiled, but his eyes narrowed, so I took that as a sign that I had made my point. With a shake of my head, I stepped passed him. Intending to keep going, but he caught me easily.

His hand around my arm made me freeze mid-step, looking up at him. I still knew better than to attack him, but my temper flared.

"What?" I snapped, "What're you gonna do? I already lost everything. I don't care anymore!"

"Do you really think that killing you is the worst I could do to you?" He asked, his flat tone quiet, "What have I always told you?"

I really didn't want to think about that, so after a second or two, I looked away. He knew as well as I did that killing me was the kindest thing he could do. Killing me would end my misery. The worst thing he could do was probably already on his mind, but the worst part was not knowing whether or not he would follow up.

"You better watch that fucking mouth of yours." He growled almost silently, "I've already let so much slide, but I'm getting fucking sick of it."

I kept my gaze away from his, a sure sign he was intimidating me. I always did the same thing with Jasper and especially Rosalie. I knew Jack knew that as well, but it was different now.

I said I wasn't scared, and I'd meant that, but with Jack, intimidation and fear didn't mean the same thing. I'd never felt quite like this before, and I didn't know how to even begin to describe the emotions I felt right then.

I felt like crying, and I was so angry, but a slight bit of fear tinged the intimidation, turning it into something else. He made me nervous, but in a more calm way. I knew I could get free from his grip, but I didn't. His control of me made me stay there.

I hated being confused. He was waiting, though, so I answered the only way I really could. I gave a small, tense nod, and instantly, he released me.

I continued to stand there, and he continued to watch me, but I was too busy thinking to care much. Jack could hurt me so easily, but he didn't. Maybe that was the reason behind this emotion? I'd never felt this way with Jasper. Before all this blew up, back when he was still trying.

With a sinking stomach, it occurred to me. The realization was enough to have me look back up at Jack. His stony, even gaze was enough to have me looking away again, despite my revelation.

Jack was training me.

Whether he realized it or not, that's what he was doing, and since I had no idea before, it was working.

It only made sense that he's the one that could get through to me, but it also startled me. How had this happened? When? And why so easily? It made more sense, giving me the explanation to the questions I didn't know I had.

Why I was so relieved that he followed me.

Why it was so easy before to turn my back on everything I knew about hunting. Why it was so easy to hunt those humans.

Why I didn't keep trying to tear his fucking head off. Why I let him threaten me. Why I tolerated him. Why, despite the painfully obvious strength difference, I wasn't afraid.

How?

I thought back, striding away from Jack. Using my endless subconscious to go through all the details of the events of my time with Jack so far.

It started that first night. The first time I saw him again, and the way we watched each other. In that moment, my instincts had started the investigating. My instincts honestly didn't care who he was to me. They had seen something in him that switched open that normally closed part of my mind that would begin to accept his training.

Victoria posed a threat to me. Whether I consciously acknowledged it or not, my newly opened set of instincts picked up on that, and they focused on Jack and his reactions at the same time. For the most part, he was there.

He came with me to my family's home. That was the first time his correction had stopped me, telling me not to run when Jasper arrived, and my instincts stopped me.

I should have seen it then!

He protected me, giving my instincts time to build the smallest of foundations of trust in him. Those were the strange emotions! I wasn't thinking to the fullest of my ability, letting my guard down after the last involvement with Victoria.

After his brief hunting trip, talking to him. There were so many things that now made sense. This explained everything.

"What?" Jack finally barked, seconds after I'd started pacing in thought.

"Hold on." I mumbled, still thinking.

Those instincts were already set in stone. How I felt about it didn't make a difference now. It might have at the start, if I had paid attention to what was going on, but I'd been so desperate to fix everything, I didn't notice it happening to me.

That left one nagging question.

How was he able to get to those instincts so easily when nobody else really could? This wasn't like the bond I'd had with Esme or Carlisle. They had done their best to teach me, but neither of them ever really 'trained' me.

If I was supposed to be super difficult and even more rare, how was Jack able to reach those instincts so easily?

Was that part of his gift? Is that how it worked? He reached the deepest, most basic and most fragile part of the instincts in a person and gave those a little nudge, sending the rest into a small but distinct chain reaction.

I was so new, so I didn't require that much effort. Especially considering I'd never actually built a training bond with anyone yet.

Of course this was all speculation. For all I knew, all of this could also be explained by the fact that I'd just been almost violently abandoned, and I could be so desperate for companionship, I would take the first person worthy.

When I looked back at Jack, my gaze both accusing and confused, he frowned.

"What?" He demanded, so I closed my eyes and shook my head. I was so torn.

I would really have to watch myself. I wouldn't say anything yet. I would have to wait and see which of the three possibilities it was. The effects of his actions on my instincts, his gift, or my abandonment. Two of the three were my fault, so in a way, I hoped I could blame all this on his gift.

"Nothing." I mumbled, shaking my head again.

"Where the fuck are we, anyway?" I had a feeling he just wanted me to stop being so weird, so I allowed the distraction. He meant where had we stopped.

Given the sounds and smells, there was at least four cows around here somewhere. It was pitch dark, almost no illumination.

"A field?" I muttered, and he sighed.

"No shit." He replied, "Smart ass. Where is this fucking field located?" We hadn't gotten far from Colorado, so I shrugged.

"Nebraska?" I said, looking around myself, "Maybe Iowa? Why?"

"Shouldn't you be looking for these assholes?" He asked, and I looked down.

"They could be anywhere." I admitted, "New York is the only place I know to check. Without a scent, I don't know how to track someone."

"How many are there?" He asked.

"Altogether," I answered, "Seven, but that's if they are all together."

He sighed hard, "If it was a scent you wanted to track, you would have to start back at that fucking house, but seven?"

"We'll just go to New York." I shook my head, "It's the best place to start. They have a house there."

"Well, fuck." He said, "Why didn't you fucking say so?"

I had no idea. I realized he must have been thinking I just randomly chose New York.

It didn't take us long to get there when there were no distractions. I had to admit I was stalling because I was scared. I didn't want to get there only to find what I found.

They hadn't been here.

The Ithaca house was dark, locked up tight, not a scent around. It was so depressing, seeing the house taken care of, but as abandoned as I was.

A few leaves scattered across the front lawn, the grass still green but crisp. Stiff. The top floor balcony dark and cold, the doors that had led to my room silent and still.

I turned with a sigh, looking around us in the dark.

"Well this is fucking perfect." Jack grumbled, "Now what, genius?"

"I don't know." I whimpered, hating the fact that my voice reflected how lost I was. Other than this house, I didn't know if they had more.

At this point, I would have given anything to find Carlisle and Esme. Even if it was just for confirmation of everything Jasper had said. I needed that closure, and every second I went without it was more agonizing than the last.

Defeated, I sat down on the front lawn, just inside the wall surrounding the front yard. An action I didn't need to do, but one that made me feel better.

With an irritated sigh, Jack looked around us.

"We wait?" I offered, hoping that would be a good enough answer.

"I'm not sitting around on my ass waiting for these people." He snapped, "I agreed to fucking help you, but I'm not going looking for them. You either find them, or that's it. If you want this so bad, you're gonna have to be the one that gets it done. I'm not holding your fucking hand through all this."

"I don't know where to look!" I couldn't help snapping back up at him, "You're so good at finding people. I'm not."

"First of all," He replied sharply, "Get the fuck up. You're not gonna fucking find them sitting on your ass either."

"Don't you listen?" I asked just as sharply, "I said I don't know where else to look!"

"Well, they're not down there, that's for damn sure."

"Just give me a second!" I had yet to shout at him this loudly, and naturally, he reacted. Reaching for me, he meant to grab a hold of my neck, but I ducked away this time.

I moved to spin away, but he had reached out with his other hand immediately, and caught a hold of my hair. He forced me down onto my knees, slamming me forward, face down against the grass as he crouched beside me. My knees were tucked under me.

His hand was solid against the back of my head, but it got worse as he moved, straddling my back. In such an awkward position, I'd already proven to be useless. I fought, but he had the upper hand. Quite literally. He leaned down, over me so he could speak right into my ear.

"Is this better?"

"No." I gasped and growled at the same time.

"I'm getting real fucking tired of that attitude." He growled in return, "How many fucking times do I have to tell you? Don't fucking talk to me like that. Ever."

"Get off me!" I snarled against the ground. I was far from calm, and I knew I was just making this worse for myself, but I couldn't help it. The longer I felt his weight on me, the harder it got to contain my panic. Especially with knowing he was actually training me. Just like Jasper had always tried to do, but now that I was aware of it, I was fighting it. Just like I always did with Jasper.

I worried though. There were always boundaries Jasper wouldn't cross. Jack wasn't like him. Jack wouldn't be against damaging me to get his point across. That made a massive difference.

To prove his point, he shoved me harder against the ground. The front lawn giving way under the side of my face. I growled in response, clenching my teeth.

"I said," He growled also, "Don't fucking talk to me like that." I had no other option. As strong as I was, Jack wasn't budging. This was the reason the youngest immortals were so flighty. Practically anyone could overpower us with ease, so we had to protect ourselves somehow, and being so fast was the only way.

But being fast didn't help me now.

"Okay." I mumbled into the ground, "I'm sorry."

I half expected him to get off of me, but he stayed.

"I'm sorry." I tried again, this time more sincere, but again, he didn't move. The fact that he didn't even answer me made me nervous. I knew he was thinking, and the longer he stayed there, the longer he had to entertain these thoughts.

I gave one last try, and thankfully, he released me as I clawed my way out from under him with a small growl.

"Watch the tone." He told me firmly, "This is the last fucking time I'm gonna tell you. I won't be so nice next time." I nodded. I believed him. I'd managed to get away unscathed this time, but I now knew better than to try again.

"You always were a hardheaded brat." He grumbled, standing up, but I stayed quiet. The reminder sent my thoughts in a far more depressing direction.

"Do you think mom knows?" I asked quietly, "About us, I mean."

"Who fucking cares?" He asked, "She's my next project."

"What?" I frowned.

"You really think I forgot about that bitch?" He scoffed, "She asked for this shit."

"All she wants is to be left alone." I looked down at my hands as I sat upright, "Why can't you just leave her alone?"

"I made her a promise." He replied simply, "She knows exactly what that promise was."

"So do I." I admitted, "She told me once."

"How?" He asked, "She-"

"Vision." I answered, cutting him off, "She said you made her into what she was that whole time. That if she ever left you, you'd hunt her down and kill her, so she gave up. She only stayed with you because she didn't want to make things worse for me."

"Huh." He huffed, impressed, "Well, that explains why you care about her so damn much all of a sudden."

"I don't blame her anymore." I shrugged a little, "Blaming her for not being strong enough to stand up to you would be like blaming myself for not being strong enough. The only one that needs to be blamed is you."

"And you still didn't want those assholes to kill me?"

"No." I answered, "Just like mom, I just wanted to be left alone. Especially after what your dad was gonna do that night." I shuddered at just the thought, clenching my teeth.

"Yeah." He grumbled, also reminded, "To be fair, I did tell him to leave you the fuck alone."

"Probably." I sighed, "But you should have known he wouldn't listen to you. He never has before." I actually couldn't believe how calm I was being. I had always been defensive about my last night alive.

I also couldn't help but wonder why I wasn't running from him after a correction like that. Every time anyone would get even slightly physical, I'd always run. Now I just sat there like it was the most normal thing in the world.

My thoughts moved on, though. I laughed a little, shaking my head.

"What?" He asked.

"I was here tonight last time, too." I answered, finally looking back up at him, "It's funny how so many things can be different, but things like this stay the same."

"Why were you here?" He frowned, looking at the dark house.

"Because of Jasper." I sighed, "It wasn't really his fault, though. We had to leave town because he tried to kill Bella."

"So they dragged you here?"

"Yup." I replied, "But you found me here anyway."

"Not surprised." He said, "There's always a trail."

I fell quiet for a second, before I decided to ask.

"Do you ever get tired of hating so much? Of hurting people?"

"No." He chuckled, finding that amusing, "Why? Should I?"

I shrugged again, "It makes me tired sometimes."

"Get used to it." He replied, turning away. I watched after him as he started to walk away, toward town.

I assumed he was going to hunt.

Immediately, my thoughts moved straight to the one person I nearly hadn't thought about, but I recalled easily the way Jack reacted to me telling him not to hunt in Tacoma. I jumped up, coming to his side.

"Where are you going?" I asked carefully. I didn't want to set off his temper just yet.

"A fucking walk." He replied pointedly, "I don't see you getting up off your ass."

"Okay." I muttered, keeping myself by his side, "No hunting, though?" It was a question, as I knew better than to demand again.

"I don't know yet." I frowned over at me, "What's your fucking problem?"

"It's just.." I hesitated, "Well, we have to stay here for awhile. You can't hunt where you wanna stay. My.. My family taught me that."

"Oh God." He rolled his eyes.

"What?" I asked, "It's a good rule."

He yanked me to a stop on the dark street, turning me around to face him. The city lights further off in the distance reflected in his angry eyes as I looked up at him in surprise.

"That's your fucking problem." He told me before I could even wonder, "Fucking rules. Do you have any goddamn idea the things you could do? The things you could do if you weren't lied to from the very fucking start."

"They said-"

"Fuck what they said. We.." He gestured between us, "We were not made to follow fucking rules."

I watched the way his expression changed with every word. Every little wrinkle around his firm glare. Had I not been watching or listening so closely, I would have mistakenly thought that he was angry by the way he spoke.

He wasn't angry. He was firm, but he wasn't angry.

"I get not wanting to piss Aro off." He went on in my silence, "I get that, but all these fucking rules? You were not made to follow any fucking rule. You were not made to hold yourself back, and quite fucking frankly, it's disgusting that you were ever fucking stupid enough to believe you had to."

Honestly, I didn't know what to say to that. His intense gaze, though, intimidated me enough to look away. I was confused. He clearly meant everything he was telling me, and in a way, I could understand what he was saying, but what if he was right? What if there was more?

What if I didn't have to worry about every move I made? What if I could just live? What then?

"Come on." He growled when I didn't reply. Keeping a grip on my arm and pulling me along the road now.

"Where are we going?" I had a feeling I already knew.

"Hunting." He snapped his answer.

"But I don't need to hunt." I argued, confused.

"Not because you need to." He replied firmly, "Because you fucking can." I blinked in surprise. It was such a new concept. Hunting just because I could, rather than waiting until I needed to.

My distraction made me easy to tug along.

It was even easier to get me to hunt this time, to my dismay. Though we only took one, it was starting to make sense what he was saying before.

Maintaining my strength was a lot easier when I didn't wait so long. It felt smoother this time, less urgent. Listening to what my instincts were telling me instead of suppressing them, letting them grow and mature as well felt right. Giving in to my craving instead of putting it off felt more right than anything I'd done yet.

Halfway through the short hunt, however, I spotted a sobering sight. I hadn't realized we'd gotten so close to where Mikah was now, locking up the store he worked at. We were just across the street, hidden by shadows so he had no idea that someone had just lost their life to someone like us.

I watched Mikah as Jack fed behind me. I knew Jack wasn't paying attention to me, but I also didn't care. My eyes locked on Mikah, and I knew then on that we had to be careful. We needed to move further into the city, away from Mikah. It was too risky staying here.

We returned to the house once we were done, as it seemed a really good place to pass time. Jack didn't say anything. He didn't have to. I knew his point, and it seemed like a very valid one.

Weeks passed this way. We did move away from that side of town, finding a better spot just on the outskirts of town. I figured we'd know if the Cullens ever showed up.

Though we didn't talk much, Jack and I stayed there and we established a routine, but after awhile, I began to go back and watch Mikah from afar. I knew full well that with my eyes the color they were, I couldn't let myself talk to him, despite the fact that I missed him so much.

What little I'd talked to him in the past wasn't enough to keep me from desperately wishing I could talk to him again. At least for a little while.

We barely strayed. Sticking to the city, but every time I turned around, I saw something that reminded me of the Cullens or the time I spent here before. Even without Mikah. I did my best to keep it from showing, but those memories did cause me pain.

After awhile, I stopped wondering why the Cullens never tried to find me here. Wherever they were, I was almost positive they'd forgotten about me by now. Although, after hunting as many humans as I had, I doubted they'd care anyway.

It was now the night before Halloween, and I was having a particularly rough night as it was thanks to the memories, but Jack seemed just fine with hiding out tonight.

There was one question I'd been wanting to ask for awhile, but I kept it to myself. Mainly because I didn't want to raise his expectations, but why not? Who cared anymore?

"Where do we go after this?" I finally did ask it, and he looked back at me from where he stood looking over the city. This question told him I was finally ready to let go of my mission. I was finally ready to give up on getting my closure. If the Cullens had given up on finding me that easily, I had no choice but to give up as well.

"I can't stay here." I admitted from where I crouched.

"Then fucking go." He scoffed, "No one's keeping you here. Took you long enough to give up, though." I hesitated in my reply, surprised at my own expectations. Without even meaning to, I'd already been planning on staying with him. Yeah, he treated me like shit, but..

"Well," I mumbled, "I.." Well, what? I thought to myself.

"What?" He seemed to catch on, "Oh, hell fucking no. Don't tell me.."

"No." I defended myself, standing up, "No, I-I.. I just thought-"

"Pathetic." He grumbled to himself, shaking his head. I did have another place I could go, but that didn't feel much like an option anymore. Realizing that also scared me, because it meant I was learning more from Jack than I'd known before.

I did consider running off on my own after the first week or so of being here without a sign from my family, but I quickly squashed that plan. Staying with Jack was essentially my best option given my set of circumstances. Whether he knew it or not, he was training me and that meant I had to stay. As much as I hated it, he was bonded to me.

I had a few theories about why it happened so quick, but I knew it was probably a mix of all of them. In the silent days and nights we'd spent just thinking, I had a lot of time to think things over. Unfortunately, Jack had a lot of good points, and that concerned me. I didn't ever want to become like him, but I was having little choice, considering how easily I seemed to agree with him a lot.

Despite hunting almost every day, I couldn't let go of Mikah. I couldn't let that bond go, no matter how hard I tried. I had too many ties to him in my memories alone, and it seemed like no matter what I did to shake them loose, they just held tighter.

My training from Jack couldn't take those from me. I was sure if he knew about it, he could break them, but I refused to tell him. Even if it meant one day potentially saving Mikah's life.

I knew it was pretty damned selfish of me not to want to do everything possible to let him go, but I was working on that.

I let that subject drop as the silence resumed. He wasn't going to push me away, and that was just fine with me. I stayed crouched right where I was, looking out over the city as well.

It was times like this that I wished I could sleep. As much room as I had now in my head, it would have been amazing to shut it off once in awhile. That cavernous echoing of the same few thoughts repeatedly scrawling through my head.

"What did you help Victoria with?" I asked, and though he didn't acknowledge me in any way, I knew he heard me.

I decided against asking again, looking down. He didn't even snap at me, so that meant he was deep in thought. When he got like this, it meant I was in for unending silence and boredom.

With a sigh, I finally ran off. We did split up now and then, so this wasn't a worry of mine. He was always here when I came back, so I knew he wasn't going anywhere. I was glad for that, otherwise I wouldn't be able to check on Mikah.

The night before Halloween was quite chilly, so there weren't many people out. I found it was a lot easier to resist human blood when I had it all the time. Who knew?

I returned to the side of the city I knew so well. Walking along the street was exactly like walking through a memory. Somehow, that was comforting as well. I rounded the corner of Mikah's store, instantly picking up his heartbeat inside before I headed for the back of the building. That little space between the store and the business just next to it.

I scurried up the wall, reaching the roof with ease. I wondered what Mikah would think if he knew I came here often just to listen to his heartbeat. It was therapeutic.

The lights below didn't reach me up here, so I knew I was safe to stay up here as long as I wanted to.

I stayed there, my eyes closed as I focused on keeping my thoughts at bay, until Mikah finally closed the store for the night. I crept closer to the edge of the building, peering down at him as he locked up the door with a tired sigh and started walking toward his house.

I silently jumped over the side, landing with hardly a sound, and I followed him. He never noticed me when I did this, so I felt pretty confident doing it now. I mainly just wanted to be sure he made it home safe. Nothing would ever hurt him while I was around.

Those ties were firm.

I watched from the darker side of the street as he made it inside the house just as his dad drove up. Returning from his job as well, so it wasn't strange. I growled a little when I saw him, knowing that his dad was the reason Mikah was turned last time.

All of this was also before their mother had left, and that made me tense. Knowing what she was like toward her children bothered me so bad, because she was still there, and I wasn't there to convince Alyssa to say something.

I would have to find some way to rid them of her again this time.

I watched his father make his way inside, and I listened to a few half-hearted arguments between Mikah's older brother, Jonathan, and Mikah before I went on my way. Satisfied he was safe for now.

I returned to our usual spot to find Jack still standing there. He hadn't even moved, so I got back into my usual spot, settling in for the night. I would probably go back and check on Mikah again at some point later, but for right then, I wanted to be here.

It was well passed midnight before Jack even moved.

He sighed heavily, turning and looking at me. Pulled from my own thoughts, I looked up at him.

"Did you check?" He asked. Meaning, did I check the house to see if anyone had been there.

"Yeah." I muttered, "Nothing."

"I'm getting fucking sick of sitting around waiting for them." He snapped, and I knew he was in a bad mood.

"I know." I sighed as well, my tone defeated as I looked away, "You don't have to stay. You can go. It was worth a try, I guess."

"I'm not fucking going anywhere until I collect." He replied firmly, and immediately my eyes landed on him again.

"I said I'd do whatever if you helped me." I pointed out, a small defensive growl in my voice, "I never got what I wanted."

He growled, "They better hurry the fuck up."

I didn't say anything to that, looking away again. I knew the tension was rising with him, and I was honestly not sure how much longer he would wait. I closed my eyes as he stepped forward.

"For your sake." He finished before he walked away. I wouldn't follow him. I instinctively knew that he needed space, so following him right then would have been stupid.

Instead, I just looked back out over the city.

As much as I wanted to just leave this place and never look back, I couldn't. I wasn't ready to leave Mikah behind yet. He was all I had left of my life before. Besides Jack. Mikah was the light in the constant darkness I felt. The one positive thing I still had left. Someone who, despite barely knowing me himself, would never turn his back on me.

Maybe I was using my new hunting habits as an excuse to stay away from him. Maybe I was afraid of what he'd think. Maybe I was afraid to find that he was different too. From afar, I could still believe he was the same as I always knew him.

I wanted to keep him, and I was afraid to let him go.

A/N: I know this is late, but I won't give excuses lol I just hope it was worth the wait!
Short A/N today, as it's a pretty busy morning for me.
THANK YOU to my reviewers of last chapter! I LOVE YOU! Seriously. You have no idea.

Chapter five won't be long coming out, as it just needs a final go-over, and I can give it to you.
Until FIVE, my friends! :D