Back at the hospital, Olivia and Abby were watching TV. Well, the TV was on, but they weren't actually paying attention to it. Soon, they heard a noise outside the door and saw a gurney being wheeled in. Olivia felt tears spring to her eyes as she saw the still form of her baby girl on that hospital bed. No matter how many times she saw her daughter like this, she'd never be used to it.
But, Olivia did her best to act as if nothing was wrong—for Carly's sake. "Hey baby," she whispered sweetly to Carly. The orderlies tucked her back into her own bed and left with the gurney. Olivia knew that Carly must be sick, so she tried to cheer her up. "Look what your big sister did for you while we were gone."
Abby then acted like Vanna White from Wheel of Fortune, posing as she showed Carly the various Christmas decorations, including the Christmas tree. "I saved the best for last, Carly," Abby said as she sat next to her sister, taking her hand. "When you're feeling up to it, you can put the angel on top of the tree."
Carly's head lolled to one side as she gave her sister a small smile. Olivia bit back a sob as she patted her daughter's bald head. "I also bought you some scarves, but I'll let you look at them and try them on, later." She kissed her daughter's forehead, pulling the blankets up around her chin. "Now how about you get some sleep, and we'll be here for you when you wake up."
Carly closed here eyes. "Love you," was all that she whispered before she fell asleep.
Much to Elliot's surprise, he found himself at the hospital about an hour later instead of at Olivia's house with Cragen. Instead of having Elliot for backup, Don had called him a couple of other detectives to go with him since Elliot no longer worked for the Manhattan PD.
Elliot wrung his hands nervously together as he found the elevator doors soon sliding open. Up ahead was a sign, signaling to him that he was on the pediatric oncology floor. Murals of various cartoon characters passed him by as he walked along the hallway, really not knowing what to do next. He wanted to meet his daughter, the child he'd never known, but at the same time he was nervous as hell. He'd never been there for her, except for giving her life at conception, which hadn't been on his mind, at the time. He knew that Carly not knowing him had never been all his fault...but he sure as hell felt like it was.
He walked along the corridors before realizing that Don had never told him Carly's room number, and him, being the dope that he was, hadn't thought about asking for it. That's when he walked a little bit farther down the hall until he found the nurse's station.
At the nurse's station, he stood impatiently, waiting as a young woman bustled about her work before coming up to him. Elliot noticed that she looked a little young, but he brushed that aside as she spoke. "Can I help you, sir?"
Elliot was nervous as he cleared his throat, saying, "Yeah, I was uh...I was trying to locate a patient, but I seem to have forgotten which room she was in."
The nurse looked suspiciously at him as she stood back, tapping her toe impatiently. "I'm sorry sir, but I just can't give out information like that."
"Look, I'm sorry but...please?" he begged, but saw that it didn't work so he sighed, leaning back. "Her name's Carly Benson...Carly Josephina Benson. She's eleven. Her mother's Olivia Benson, and she has two sister's: Abby and Katie."
The young woman looked at him as everything he said washed over her. Finally, she said, "Kate."
Elliot looked up at her, very confused. "Huh?"
"Kate," she said again, a small smile forming on her face. "I made the mistake of calling her Katie, one time, and she nearly bit my head off for it." The nurse typed something on the computer and, without looking up, she asked, "how'd you know Carly's middle name? I mean, that's usually not something a stranger would know."
The words she said hit him hard, almost as if she'd punched him in the jaw. But he kept his anger in check, and let it slide.
After he said nothing, the nurse finally looked up. "I'm sorry, I mean...you might not be a stranger, but I've never seen you here. I'm Carly's main daytime nurse throughout the week, and I've met a whole bunch of people who've come to see her."
Elliot finally smiled up at her, holding no grudge. He shrugged her shoulders. "I just...I haven't been around her like I should've been...that's all." But that's all going to change, now, he thought to himself.
"I just have to finish something real quick," she told him, as if needing to explain herself. "I need to see Carly, anyways. She just got back from chemo." When she finished, she walked with Elliot down the long corridor. Finally she stopped and looked straight at him. Realization dawned on her as she asked, "you're Carly's father, aren't you?"
Elliot felt ashamed as he nodded his head. "Yeah. I didn't know Liv was pregnant when I left, or I never would've left. I just...I had to get away," he said, feeling now the need to vent. "I had a lot that was going on, and I couldn't put her or my other kids in harms way."
The nurse nodded. After a moment, she smiled sweetly at him. "I'm Laura, by the way." It was then that he finally noticed her name-tag that indeed said 'Laura' on it. He'd been so hyped up before that he didn't think to look for it. They finally began walking again. "As long as you're here during the week in the daytime, I'll be here."
He smiled at that. "I'm Elliot." After a moment, thought, he sobered some and shrugged his shoulders. That's when he stopped, leaning against the wall and sighing. "I honestly don't think she'll want me here, though. I've never been there for her...never known her. She probably hates me for that."
Remembering Carly confiding in her about wanting to find her dad, Laura found herself shaking her head with a small smile still on her face. "I highly doubt that. You know, she's been planning on a lot of people to find you for weeks...maybe even months, now. Especially since she relapsed," she added sadly, and Elliot found himself nodding solemnly, feeling guilty for his little girl whom he was about to meet.
He gave Laura a moment as she wiped a stray tear from her eye. "Sorry," she silently apologized. Elliot just nodded, giving her some time. "I've just...become very attached to Carly. She's like a little sister to me, and has actually taught me a lot...more than I could ever teach her."
Elliot whispered, "I've heard that cancer can make a child grow up fast."
Laura nodded. "It does. But it hasn't really deterred her spirit. She gets depressed sometimes, but that's to be expected. I'd be more worried if she wasn't depressed, know what I mean?"
Elliot only nodded as they walked along. Laura finally stopped in front of a door, as did Elliot. The sign beside the door where the chart was said '419', but on the door was a purple and pink sign, where, in glitter, was the name 'Carly'. Elliot smiled at himself, renewed anxiety returning.
Laura reached for the door handle, but turned to him, first. "Don't worry. She's talked a blue streak about you, and does love you. Just...give her some time."
Elliot nodded as Laura opened the door, walking in first. "Hi Olivia," he heard Laura say. He stood in the hall for a moment, giving them some time. "I see that little Carly's still sleeping."
"Yeah," he heard Olivia, but it sounded nothing like how he remembered her. Her voice sounded raspy and tired. He also detected sadness there, but then again, under the circumstances, he wouldn't expect anything less and shouldn't have, the more he thought about it. Carly's cancer was hard on him, and he'd only known about it for a couple of hours. He couldn't imagine how Olivia felt, dealing with it for however long she's had to.
"She's been asleep since they brought her back," Olivia said, almost in a whisper. "She woke up once to throw up, but I gave her a sip of water along with her stomach pill, and she went right back to sleep."
"Is she in any pain?" Laura asked.
"You know she wouldn't tell me." Elliot couldn't be sure, but he detected a small smile playing in Olivia's voice, which made him smile, as well. He knew why he'd left, but he'd never get over how bad he felt about doing that. He knew he was only trying to protect Liv and her girls, but still...
"I'll give you a bottle of her pain pills, just to be on the safe side," Laura replied. "If she's still in pain, don't hesitate to call me."
"I won't."
"But the way," Laura said, a hint of mystery in her tone. "I found someone wandering the hallways, asking about Carly when I was about to come down here."
Again, and Elliot could never be sure, but he thought he heard Olivia gasp. "Who?"
"Yeah, who?" And then another voice filled the room, only he knew it couldn't have been Carly, because the voice was deeper, as if it was coming from another young woman. It couldn't be Kate, as Vanessa was watching her so it had to have been Abby.
Memories of her as a child filled his head. He remembered Abby when he'd first met her. She'd been five-and-a-half. Her brown hair had been pulled up in pigtails and she'd worn a red oversized dress with sunflowers on it. At that time, her mother had only been with SVU for two weeks, by then, when Olivia had brought her and Katie to work with her. He'd been confused, and questioned Olivia. Kids were welcome at SVU, but not an all day everyday thing, especially when the parent or guardian was working. When she told him why, however, his entire demeanor had changed.
"My husband's in town...he's after us."
Olivia's ex-husband had hit them all, traumatizing both girls tremendously. At the time, Katie, who'd been a baby, didn't even try to talk and Abby barely did, at all. She didn't have the chance to be a real kid, to his way of thinking.
When he sat down with little Abby later, she looked up at him with those big brown eyes that were so like her mother's. "Elliot," she said timidly. He thought something more was wrong than just hitting since the little girl was quiet for so long. Finally, she looked
up at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "May I call you uncle Ellie?"
Elliot couldn't help but smile and feel proud at that moment, but he laughed at the name. "Ellie?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard her correctly.
She looked up at him, wondering what the problem was. "Yeah," she said, very seriously.
Elliot could see that she wasn't joking about it, so he shrugged his shoulders. "Okay then," he said, giving the little girl a big hug. "Uncle Ellie it is."
Elliot was brought back into the present by Abby's voice, once more. "No one else was supposed to visit today. Uncle Fin and Munch had to work, and Grandpa Don—well, he's busy."
Elliot had to smile at that. He surely had been busy, so far. But then, remembering what Don was having to do caused Elliot to worry some more. He knew he should've been there, but being here was just as important. Don could handle it. And if Elliot was needed, Don knew how to reach him. Well, at least now he did.
"Well, this person I've never seen here before," he heard Laura reply as she stepped out of the room, motioning towards him. "But I'm sure you've been anxious to see him, again."
Olivia had absolutely no idea of what she was talking about...until Elliot came into the room. She gripped the arm of her chair as she tried to bite back a cry: not a sad cry, nor a cry for her, but for her daughter, whose wish was finally coming true.
I decided to end it there, because it seemed best. Please, PLEASE let me know what you think :)
For the next chapter... How will Olivia react to Elliot being back? What about Abby? And what will Carly do when she finds out that her Christmas wish is finally coming true?
And what about Vanessa, who's at Olivia's house with Kate...what does Vanessa have up her sleeve, and is somebody else involved other than the Stabler children? Stay tuned...and I'll post quicker if I get a lot of reviews!
~*Missy*~
