My Little Blackbird
Chapter 4
I have never known what it has felt like to be wanted by anyone other than Emily. But now it seems like I have a new family. A family full of 200 degree shirtless men and Emily, but a family nonetheless. I spend my days mostly alone just sitting at the beach or walking, sometimes even running, and my nights with Emily while Sam is doing whatever he does. Otherwise Quil and I hang out for a few hours every once in a while.
I am pretty sure what I said hit Quil rather hard, and I feel terrible about it. I didn't mean to hurt him; I just didn't know him very well. He keeps his distance and will only talk to me when I talk to him first, but I see him watch me like he wants nothing more to fix everything, even if he did nothing wrong. It just makes me feel like a heartless bitch. It isn't my fault that that way of life has been pounded into me repeatedly.
I plan on apologizing for the way I acted tomorrow at my birthday party. Emily keeps gushing about the plans, and so are all of her friends. I find it somewhat humorous that her friends all happen to be the wives and girlfriends of the rest of the group of guys that Sam hangs with. They all stick together like a pack of some sort. It's rather odd.
Emily is telling me all about how the entire reservation and even some friends from Forks are planning on joining in on the fun. She won't tell me exactly what is going on other than food, stories, presents, and cake. She always has this weird glint in her eye when she talks about it that tells me something big is going to happen. Little did I know that this "big something" she was hiding will change the way I see things forever.
Tonight Emily is planning on having a private get together for my birthday on the day before I turn 18. Just me and her, as far as I know at least. I have a feeling she is going to invite Quil though, and I am sure Sam will show up. She is very set on me and Quil getting together and doesn't understand why we aren't dating yet. I have known the guy for less than a week, but that doesn't seem to be a good enough answer. She always just walks off with a puzzled expression as she mutters to herself.
The door slams open downstairs and very shortly closes. Well, I was right. I can hear Sam talking with someone else, someone whose voice sends chills down my spine.
"Claire! It's party time!" Emily bursts through the door. "It's time to get ready! I already know what you should wear! It is perfect!"
She throws a shirt and a pair of my skinny jeans at me and walks out the door, though not before saying she expects me downstairs in no less than five minutes or she is coming back up to drag me down there by force. I sigh before standing up and changing. The sigh swiftly turns into a hiss due to the cold hardwood floor. I will never understand how they keep this house so cold in the middle of summer; especially with the amount of heat those men produce by themselves. Their electric bill must be sky high.
As I am creeping silently down the stairs I hear them talking in hushed tones.
"I really think you should tell her right now," Emily says.
"Not like this, she doesn't want to be around me, I scare her too much," Quil sighed sadly.
"She isn't scared of you; she is scared of what she feels for you. After all that she has been through you have to understand why she is scared. She isn't like everyone else. She has been through more than any of us could ever imagine." Sam interjected.
I was slightly taken aback at what he said. I thought he always hated me, yet here he was, showing compassion and understanding. Maybe Emily has more of a catch than I thought he was.
"But is now the right time? I still feel like it is too soon and I really don't want to fuck up anything with her. The last thing I need is to scare her even more." Quil questioned.
I figured if I was to announce my presence, I should do so then. I jumped off the last stair and landed slightly less than graceful and ended up on the floor with a very sore knee. The three in the kitchen came running at the loud bang.
I felt very warm hands lifting me up. "Are you okay? What happened?"
"Calm down Quil, I just slipped off the last stair; it's not that big of a deal. I'm fine, I promise." He looked skeptical but let it go.
"So Claire, are you ready for your birthday tomorrow? I know I am," Emily said with a big smile on her face.
"I know you are ready for that party that you have been planning all week," I joked. She smiled even bigger and let out a laugh.
"You caught me, but really, are you not excited for it? I mean, how often do you get to celebrate your birthday? Only once a year do you get presents, constant attention from everyone in a positive way, and listen to everyone sing to you and only you?" As she said this the fake smile I had on my face could no longer stay on, no matter how hard I tried.
Emily gasped as she realized what actually happened on my birthday and reached out to apologize, but I just turned and ran to my room. I have never had a birthday where any of that happens. My birthday is filled with extra beatings, cruel statements spit at me with a venom I only hear once a year, and laughter at my expense. Nothing good has come of one more year of life in my world until Emily came along to rescue me.
Not too long after I ran upstairs I hear a quiet knock on my door. After a few moments of silence Quil enters with a plate and glass in his hand. He shuts the door with his foot and walks over to where I am laying face down on the bed with my headphones in my ears. He sets both down on the nightstand by the bed and sits down on the edge of the bed and begins rubbing my back comfortingly.
"Emily told me why you ran out."
"And are you just here to remind me of it again? Do you want me to prove that I am weak enough to be broken? Do you really want me to cry in front of you that much? What kind of person does that to someone? Well I guess I have dealt with worse." I snapped.
"I didn't mean to…I really didn't…I was just trying to…I don't…I'm sorry…" He stood up with tears in his eyes and turned to leave.
"No Quil," I turned over and grabbed his warm hand, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. It's a sensitive subject and I haven't quite learned how to handle people trying to help me. It's not you, I am truly sorry that I snapped, and I'm sorry for everything else I have said to hurt you. I really wish you would forgive me so we could try to be friends."
He sat back down and the entire side sank deep enough that I fell towards him, I actually ended up running into his side, but that could have been because he pulled me into a hug at the same time.
"Claire, I have something to tell you. We were meant to be more than friends."
What? How on Earth am I supposed to respond to something like that?
"Umm…I don't know what to say, I mean, we barely know each other and you are claiming we are 'meant to be' or 'soul mates' or whatever," I said, air quotes included.
"Claire, I am a werewolf."
What the hell? Is this how he picks up girls here? Is this what they are going for nowadays? Or am I on an acid trip or something?
"Are you high or just crazy?"
"Yeah, maybe I should have told you a bit more before that." He scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"What are you talking about? Okay, I am walking away; you are starting to freak me out." I stood up to leave.
"Wait, Claire, I really am. So are Sam, Jake, Embry, and all those other guys you met. We are really werewolves. It's a trait that has been passed down from our ancestors."
I stopped at the door and spun around. "Right, and I am a witch that has special powers to control water and fire and stuff, yeah, I'm going for a walk. I will talk to you later Quil." And with that, I opened the door.
Before I had time to blink, he was directly in front of me.
"Come with me Claire, let me prove it to you." He held his hand out to me.
I hesitantly took it and stepped into a new world with him. He pulled me down the stairs at a fast pace, as we passed the kitchen where Emily and Sam were making out, she unlocked her lips from his long enough to yell to Quil that I was to be back by breakfast because that was when the cooking for the party began. Soon enough we were out the door and on our way to my favorite spot on the beach. It was a secluded little area that was surrounded by woods and water except for a thin path leading to the small sandy area with a fallen tree.
He sat me on the tree facing the water and told me to close my eyes as he ran off. Instead of closing my eyes I looked at the water. The push and pull seemed so smooth and relaxed, flowing freely at will and reflecting what the viewer would see if they looked elsewhere. I watched the moon's reflection change as the water flowed. I heard a branch snap behind me so I quickly shut my eyes and sat up straighter.
I searched for his motions in the movements of air. The smallest shift told me where he was, though the amount of air being displaced seemed to be that of a very large bear or something, not a human. Whatever it was, it was sure approaching too quickly to be comfortable. Sooner than I expected, it was in a very close proximity directly in front of me. My eyes flew open and a shriek exploded out of my throat as I fell backwards off the branch.
The last thing I expected to see was the very large snout of a creature resembling a wolf a few inches from me. I thought it would be a curious bear or something. The wolf-like creature jumped over the branch and starting sniffing at me. I put my hand out to touch it and its head tilted to meet it. It looked up at me with gorgeous dark blue eyes. I knew those eyes!
"Quil? Is that really you?" I asked, feeling crazy for talking to an animal that couldn't respond.
He started licking at me and prancing around me. I reached out to feel the fur on his back. I threaded my fingers through the dark gray fur and smiled. I didn't fake the smile like I always do, it was an actual smile.
He yawned much the way a dog would and dropped down to the ground to curl up in a half circle. He never took his eyes off me, he just watched me take in the fact that he really was a werewolf. I sat down and leaned against his side. I just continued to stroke his fur until I fell asleep, though right before sleep claimed me I could have sworn I heard a few wolves howl off in the distance. Either way, I enjoyed my first set of dreams full of shirtless men and giant wolves.
