"Are you sure you're alright?" She asked me again.
"Yeah." I said, tearing my sight from the forsakening mirror. It's betraying portrayal of Erica and I seemed to be holding itself to my spine, sucking the life right out of me as I tried to make since of what was happening.
I'm not a vampire… I thought, pushing the absurd possibility behind me. Though, I did see like one. And I did look like one in the mirror.
"Do I look sick?" I asked, not wanting to dance around the thought any more.
Erica nodded. "You look like the color had been drained right out of you." She stated, unconsciously forcing me too look at my hands. They weren't that pale; there was still a small tinge of color to me… just not much of it. "Are you sure you don't have pneumonia or something? I mean, I know werewolves don't get sick, but after what happened yesterday…" She trailed off.
After I killed a scared man… I finished. A sickening feeling of regret felt like it was lingering, but it wasn't coming any closer than that. It felt as though, I was finally inhuman. Even with the changes and the nightly hunts; the detachment from all of humanity and the thought of them as food, they all made me seem inhuman, but it was never an emotional response… until now.
"Why don't we watch some TV or something?" She asked, still looking into my eyes. I could practically see my worry through her own as I debated whether or not to even stay awake. "It'll help you get your mind off of things."
"Sure, let me take a bath and change real quick."
Even taking a bath seemed to bother me. As I ran my hand under the hot water, I couldn't find it as satisfying as when I usually took a bath. It was too hot, and so I turned it down. But with each turn of the knob, it still felt as if it was about to scald my skin. This isn't right.
To my surprise, I'd ran out of hot water all together as I felt the plastic knob twist into the metal block that let me know it was off completely. I sighed, knowing this wasn't right. Straight cold water flew from the stainless steel nozzle, and when I ran my hand under it, the temperature felt just right.
I decided to just let my thoughts trail as I bathed in what felt like luke warm water. I knew better than to delude myself when something as strange as this happened, not that anything like this had ever happened before.
Finishing quickly as soon as the small splotches of dried blood was completely washed off of my smooth skin, I dried off and got dressed as quickly as I could. I didn't even bother to toss my clothes in the hamper; I just wanted to get out of there.
It's going to be fine; I just need some fresh air. I thought in my ever growing anxiety.
Passing through the hallway with my pajamas clinging to my damp skin, I made my way back down into the cellar. Erica had watched as I passed by her, but she didn't say a word. I knew she was thinking the same about my changes that I was. And that was dangerous. Rather, it felt like a dangerous subject as I tried to break from my mental prison. The walls of denial that I'd built up were starting to crumble fast, and I knew that sooner or later I'd have to admit it. Shut Up! I yelled at my conscious.
I dug in my dresser furiously, and after picking out my random clothes for the night, I sidled the dresser, dropped my pajamas, and got dressed again. Even though she was my mother, it was still embarrassing to be seen so undignified. But thankfully, she was still asleep. I shouldn't wake her.
With that thought, I was up and out of the cellar and beckoning Erica to join me outside.
"Would you wait?" She asked as she closed the door silently behind her. I was already on the Cobblestone road, pacing in the small layer of snow as I waited. "What's gotten in to you?" She asked angrily. "First you practically disappear with Angela for two nights and now you're… different." She stated. I couldn't help but feel that she, like me, didn't want to put two and two together. The conclusion would practically destroy my mother. And that was far from what I'd want.
Maybe she'll accept me for what I am? I thought foolishly. After the first year of my being here, she was happy with me just the way I was. And now, I was something else, something terrible…
"What do you see in the dark?" I asked her out of the blue.
"What are you talking about?" She asked, grabbing my shoulders to settle me.
"When you're in pitch black, how can you see?" I asked again, trying to convey my question in a more understandable way.
"You mean how a vampire sees." She corrected me. Then as I glared at her, she answered. "Our heartbeats shine through our skin to give us light."
Have you ever been punched in the stomach? That's how I felt. As though the biggest, burliest man in the community had come over, and punched me square in the stomach. I felt it knot up around my insides, and I felt my heartbeat stop.
"What does that have to do with anything?" She asked, dropping to her knees to meet my gaze. I hadn't even realized that I was sitting. The snow felt like dirt against my elbows as I leant against the sidewalk.
"That's the light I woke up too this morning." I said simply.
"It's not that bad." She said defensively as we strolled around the forests edge. I wore very thin clothes on this night. Normally I'd be shivering by my lack of protection, but that was because I hated to draw attention to myself. I didn't like the awkward stares of my undead neighbors, nor did I accept their pity. The poor wolf child, who wanted to fit in, finally has. I though callously.
"I'm not worried about me." I admitted. "It's my mom. This won't be easy for her…" I said, stopping at a dead spruce. I ran my harsh hand over its dead bark, letting it tickle my palm. A small smile escaped my angry insides and blossomed into the world.
The thought of having a mother that would never die, was a dream for some children. Whether they knew it or not. No one wants their mothers to die, nor be in pain. Luckily for me, mine would only have to suffer pain. I'd protect her from death if I had too. But it was still a hurtful thought… something that ripped the serene smile right from my face.
"Angela will be fine. She's probably worrying about you as much as you are her." She stated in that matter-of-fact tone of hers. She could be a big know-it-all sometimes, but when she was, I believed her. She had that certain charm about her that helped me determine whether or not she was lying.
"You think?" I asked, taking my hand off the dying tree so that I could look her in the eyes.
She was smiling. At first glance, I thought she was smiling because I had finally become somewhat use to the idea that I might have crossed over into her territory. But when she spoke, I found that to only be a skeptical thought. "She's your mom."
"Yeah, she is." I stated.
"And you are such a mamma's boy." She said shoving me.
I shove her back. "Nah ah!" I denied falsely.
Some believed that vampires don't age, and it's a deluded myth; that's all. Vampires age if they don't drink from people. Sure animals suffice for a quick snack to hold them over, but every year, they age like humans. And if they went long enough, they'd eventually die of old age. Or so that's what Dominic says. Who was I to debate the subject?
Erica liked to keep her body hovering around sixteen. I wasn't sure whether or not it was because she wanted to stay beautiful forever, or it it was as simple as filling in the look of a baby sitter, but when she instigated a fight, she was right back at twelve along with me.
"Yeah, huh." She said shoving me again, getting ready to tackle me.
I tackled her first.
We kicked up a lot of snow as we fought for a top position, but as with every other time we'd fought, she'd push my arms out from under me and slide one right behind my back. "Who says uncle?" She said pulling my shoulder up. It wasn't a pain that I couldn't stand, but it would soon become so if I refused to give in.
"Me! Me! Uncle!" I said.
"That's a good dog."
"So do you think Angela will let you hunt with her?" Erica asked me as we turned the corner back to the cobblestone road. "I mean, she'll practically have to ask your mother."
"I hope you're right." I said smiling at the opportunities that. I'd begun chewing on the inner skin that lined my cheeks at the thought. My new fangs helped a lot at getting the peeled tissue off of the walls they clung too.
I was watching Erica's feet out of the corner of my eye as we walked, diverting them every time she looked over to me. I smiled at the prospect of my little annoying plan.
"Well, someone's going to have to teach you." She stated on the verge of chewing on her fingernails.
I changed my steps as soon as she turned away to pick at her nails. And that's when I struck. I leaned forward so I could push her right foot behind her left and she tripped, hitting the snow mid-curse.
I ran. I had too, otherwise she'd catch me, pin me to the ground and I'd be giving into my pain again.
My feet were catching the traction of the road as I ran, but it wasn't enough for me to run as fast as I'd wanted. And right when I'd thought I'd made it to my house before she could get me, her body slammed into the back of mine.
I fell forward into the soft blanket of snow, her knee instantly found my back as we skidded to a stop right in front of my mother's walkway. And as Erica fished my right arm out from under me, a soft voice spoke up to stop our fighting. "Ahem."
The two of us stopped fidgeting on the ground instantly. There, sitting on the same stone slab that I'd sat on the night before, was my mother and Dominic. My mother had been the voice to halt our nonsense.
"Oh, sorry to interrupt." Erica said. As she got up, I felt a wave of relief that I wasn't about to be in pain again. At least, until she pushed my head back into the snow to steady herself.
"Jerk." I muttered.
"Mutt."
"Adam, can we talk to you." Dominic said, his eyes rolled over too Erica. "In private."
I didn't know where this was going to go, but I really wanted Erica to stay. She'd eventually wrestle it out of me later anyway.
"Can Erica stay?" I asked, childishly.
My mother nodded as Erica was about to leave. Erica respected Dominic because of the great strides he'd brought their kind with this paradise of his. And she never questioned him.
I sat up on the snow, brought up my knees and wrapped my arms around them patiently.
"What's up?" I asked. Please don't be bad news. Please don't be bad news.
"I speak both for your mother and I when I say that we have no idea what's happening to you." He said. Such a broad statement. They didn't know, I didn't know, no one knew! This wasn't news; this was a fact.
"And with that, I'm going to have to ask that you tell us everything that's changed with you." My mother said quickly. I could tell she was having a hard time coping with my erratic change, and I was too. But as she once told me, a great man, is a man who can take his hurdles in stride.
"Right now?" I asked.
They both nodded. Vampires were a strange bunch. They pretend to be human when around them, and after a long enough time, they start to become a single person. They all kept up with the small mannerisms of being human to the point where it became habit and their demeanors became almost bland. That's how they fit in. And I was seeing it threw new eyes.
"Well," I started. "I can see like you can. I have fangs now, and I'm not hungry." My mother's gaze hadn't changed as she sat there with her arms resting on her knees. Very human. Her sharp features were softer now as she listened and took in what I was saying; yet I couldn't tell if she was happy for me, or saddened by what I'd become.
"What about your other side? Can you change still?" Dominic asked. I could see where he was going with this, and I too was curious what a mixed bloodline would do to a person.
"I hadn't really felt the need." I said. Trying to summon my change, I felt it start to pull and release against my stomach. Everything was normal, and I hadn't worry that it wouldn't. If my changes were to be stopped so that I could be closer to my mother, then I was fine with it.
I halted the change as soon as I felt the warmth within start too surface. And as I took in a deep breath of air to calm my body down, I nodded. "I can still change. What does that mean?"
"That means that you're parents were from both species." He said simply. "And I'd really like to see your changed figure… if you don't mind, Angela."
My mother was silent as she waved her hand in an agreeing manner.
I ignored that Dominic had stood and gestured for me to do the same. Instead I inched over to my mom. Her eyes were looking right into my own, and stopped me inches from her hands.
"Mom?" I asked. "Are… are you angry with me?" I asked.
Her face was once a statue of controlled emotion. Strict features that held in strict thoughts. It was a feature that scared me. I didn't want my mother to worry about me, nor did I want her angry with me. These changes were no one's fault, so why was she so erratic on the inside?
After I'd asked her, though, her features changed completely. Those hard amber eyes were now tearing up. Her clenched jaw had become slack and sad. Those high cheek bones had receded in her worry and her true feelings were on display.
"I don't want to lose you." She said, getting up and walking in through the door.
I followed right behind her. "Mom, wait."
She wheeled around on me. What I saw in her eyes was a recognition that I'd always feared. She knew she wasn't my real mother, and so did I. But we both ignored it. There was no need for any strangers to come and whisk me away from her, and there was certainly no desire for it. Why couldn't she see that this was a good thing?
"Adam, go. I'll be fine here; I just want you to get this over with so you can come home." Her voice was laden with the threats of her anguish. I knew that if I left she would cry, and I didn't want that.
"You're not going to lose me, mom." I said, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her stomach. Her smooth skin warmed my pale cheeks as I held her in place. "I love you too much to let that happen."
I felt her arms fall around my shoulders as we stood there in the doorway. "I love you too Adam."
As we stood there wrapped in each other's embrace, I glanced across the entrance hallway and into the mirror that still leant against the table. In it, was nothing. There was no loving, worrying mother holding her caring son. There was no beautiful family wrapped together to stave off the sadness that surrounded them. There was only an opened door, and the abandoned town that lay beyond it under the night sky. So be it.
