Ano hi no mitsuketa hakanai hikari

The fleeting light I found that day

Chapter 4 – When the light expels the dark

After some minutes I calmed down and finally stopped crying. Bokuto-san let go of me like he had promised and we were now facing each other; I wanted to dry up my tears with my hands, but Bokuto-san was faster and was already holding a tissue into my direction.

"Thank you Bokuto-san, for everything." I said sincerely.

"Huh? But I haven't done anything yet." he answered with a smile.

"You've done so much already, yet you don't even realize it, do you?" I had to laugh slightly.

"Why're you laughing at me? Stop laughing at me!" Bokuto-san saying that made me laugh even more. He joined me instantly as well, though. After I calmed down I started talking again, my story still wasn't told to the end.

"Anyway… may I continue where I left off?" I looked at him and he only nodded.

"Soon after my mother passed away a funeral was held. Because we didn't have any relatives living nearby, there were only me , my mother's friends and some of the co-workers from where she used to work, but that was it. It still pains my heart when I think about how they lowered the coffin into its hole at last. And as quick as everything started as quick it was done again. After talking to me for a few minutes, all the people left and I was left behind. I was 19 years old at that time and I was left alone. But the tough parts would only start from there on.

As I was being confronted with different situations I slowly lost control of everything, I couldn't handle that much responsibility all of a sudden. And because of several things happening all at once, almost one year after my mother had passed away I lost everything and had to start living on the streets. And that for almost 2 years already. But here I am, still living. I survived. I am here because of different people, and I am thankful to every single one of them. Including you, Bokuto-san. Thank you for listening to my story." I said at last.

"Okay then! Let's get started!" Bokuto-san suddenly said.

"Let's get what started?" I asked confused.

"Let's start writing the new chapter of your story, Akaashi!"

"Excuse me?" I didn't know what he meant.

"Well your story can't end like that, you deserve a happy ending. At least that's what I think. Every story needs a fitting end, be it a happy end, a sad one, an unexpected one, whatever it fits the story most. All stories, no matter how short or long they are, all of them need an end. I think there's nothing worse than an unfinished story. Like, it can only be labelled as good or bad if it has an end, don't you think? One does not know how a story could continue, so it can only be rated as soon as it has an end. And I want to help you find a fitting end to your story, so let's get started!" once again I was enthralled by Bokuto-san's words. Somewhere along the line he had got up from the bench and then started raising one arm skywards while grinning. He was a truly wonderful person.

"And what do you intend to do, Bokuto-san?" I asked finally.

"Shopping!" he said while he grabbed me by my arm.

"Sh-shopping?!" I was confused.

"Yup! Come on!" and before I could say anything else he was already dragging me along through the crowd of people, pulling me from my hand. It may have not been important to him, but the fact that someone was holding my hand made me happy. I was feeling someone else's warm hand again, it felt like an eternity the last time I experienced that feeling and it made me happy. And before I realized, we left the crowd again and were standing in front of a store, Bokuto-san was being dead serious.

"B-Bokuto-san, what is the meaning of this?" I said as I looked through the store's windows.

"What do you mean? That's a store where you can buy clothes and stuff." he said plainly.

"Bokuto-san I meant why did you bring me here?"

"Didn't you listen to me? I'll help you start the next chapter of your story, and for that you need a job. And for that you need new clothes. And for that we're here. Simple, right?" he smiled.

"Y-you can't be serious, how should I look for a-"

"Let that be my problem, let's enter!" he said as he opened the door, completely ignoring me.

"Welcome, please come in." one of the shop assistants said.

"Ossu!" Bokuto-san replied.

"How may we help you?" the assistant asked with a smiling face.

"Well, you see. I'm here to find something new for my friend here and-"

"Bokuto-san, I said-"

"-AND HE'S KIND OF SHY, SO DON'T LISTEN TO HIM." Bokuto-san yelled out of nowhere. My face turned red and I was too embarrassed to say anything, so I gave in.

"I… I see. Uhm… wh-what kind of clothes are you looking for, sir?" the confused assistant turned to me and asked me. I didn't know what to say.

"Uhm, he only needs a new pair of casual clothes for winter aaaand a suit if that's possible." Bokuto-san answered and I thought I was mishearing things. Why did I need a suit?

"Bokuto-san, why do I-" but he didn't listen to me and only grabbed me by my hand and pulled me to where the assistant was guiding us. Then Bokuto-san pushed me into a changing room and told me to wait there, he would take care of the rest. I felt as if I was part of a bad comedy show and the thought made me laugh, but I quickly stopped again. After a while, a pair of hands was holding a bunch of sweaters into the changing room.

"Here, try these on and choose the one you like." I heard Bokuto-san's voice behind the curtain. I did as he said and tried them on and among all those sweaters there was one that caught my attention. It was a simple patterned one, with a black and white zigzag pattern and it didn't feel itchy, so I chose that one.

"Uhm, okay. I'm done Bokuto-sa-" but before I could finish the sentence, Bokuto-san interrupted me.

"Okay and now take these and do the same." he said again, that time holding some pairs of trousers and I repeated what I just did.

"What's your shoe size?" Bokuto-san asked.

"Uhm, 27, why do you-"

"Thanks!" he never heard me out. After a while he was holding a pair of boots into the changing room.¨

"Here, put them on and then come out." he said and after I had put on everything I pushed the curtain aside and left the changing room.

"A-and?" I asked shyly.

"Looks good on you, perfect. And now for the suit, so go back."

"But I-" I wanted to say something but he had already pushed me back and closed the curtain behind of me. And after another while he came back and held a piece of cloth into the changing room and I took it into my hand.

"Bokuto-san?" I asked him in a serious tone.

"Yes, Akaashi?"

"What is this?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"This is a skirt, not a suit."

"Yes, I… I thought maybe you would like to-"

"Bokuto-san, no." I said sharply.

"But…"

"No." I said and handed him the skirt. What in the world was he thinking about? After a while he came back with a suit and I tried it on.

"Awesome, the suit suits you." he said and started laughing at his own pun; the shop assistant rolled with her eyes.

"Anything else?" the assistant asked us.

"Nope, that's it. I'd like to pay." Bokuto-san said.

"What? No. Where are my clothes?" I refused to let him buy something that expensive for you.

"Already in a bag, keep on the suit, you'll need it."

"No. This is not acceptable."

"Sir, do you want to pay cash or with credit card?" the assistant asked Bokuto-san.

"Uhm, card please." he said as he took out his purse and pulled a card out of it, and at that moment I grabbed the card and hid it behind my back. He didn't seem to have expected something like that coming from me.

"Bokuto-san please, I cannot accept such a thing." I said to him.

"But I want to give you a Christmas present."

"First of all, it's not Christmas yet and secondly, there is absolutely no reason for you to give someone like me a present. We barely know each other." after that he seemed to be mad at something. Did I say something wrong?

"Akaashi, gimme back my card!" he insisted on it.

"No."

"Oh no! Why is there an owl in the shop? Watch out Akaashiiii!" Bokuto-san yelled suddenly. Being startled, I covered my head with my arms and as soon as I did so, he took the chance and grabbed his card back and quickly gave it to the assistant.

"Here, I'll pay! Haha!" he said while laughing and I put my hands back down; he had tricked me, why was I so stupid? I sighed and gave in.

"There really is no way to beat you, huh? Your light's too bright." I whispered to myself.

"Hmm? Did you say something, Akaashi?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all, Bokuto-san. And thank you, once again." I said smiling. After he had paid for everything we left the store.

"I'll regret asking, but… what now, Bokuto-san?" I asked him.

"Let's go meet my dad!"

"Wh-what?!"

"My dad! I heard there's a free job at my dad's company, so I thought you might want to see how it is and because it's my dad…"

"Bokuto-san!"

"Yeeees?"

"Are you serious? How, how can you do something like that for someone like me? I just-" I wanted to continue, but he interrupted me once again.

"Stop putting yourself on an inferior level than others, Akaashi! I know, you might've lost faith in yourself after all that happened to you, but please stop. Don't you ever forget that you're just as human as anyone else. Don't you dare to forget that you're as important as anyone else. If you lost faith in yourself then believe in me, at least. I'll give it back to you. I'll find your lost faith and give it back to you. But if you still keep making yourself inferior to others, then that means you don't believe in me, and I don't want that. You're already an important and precious friend of mine, if you like it or not. You started talking to me, so deal with it! Put up with me! It's your own fault! And now let's go!" he had turned around to tell me all of that and when he finished he started pouting and started walking again.

I didn't know what to say to him, so I just remained silent and followed him. I looked up at the sky; it was snowing.

It was true. All he had said was true. I did indeed lose my faith, why wouldn't I? I lost everything else, there was no point in having faith, so I abandoned that as well. I thought I'd keep on living like that, but there was someone who thought to change that. And that person was Bokuto-san. He may have not noticed by that time, but he had already changed my life. He was my light. The light that guided me through my darkness I had built up the past few years. The light that showed me the way to dawn, to start over again; to start the next chapter of my story as he used to say. I always thought I was trapped in a maze with no way out, but I wasn't alone anymore. And thinking about that made me happy.

As I looked down again, I was looking at Bokuto-san's back. Suddenly a cold breeze blew and I wanted to cover my hands and put them in my pockets, but then I noticed something. Bokuto-san's right hand wasn't in his pocket. And without noticing it, my left hand started moving on its own and reached towards Bokuto-san's hand, but I stopped it right before they touched. What was I doing? Why did my hand move on its own? I hadn't noticed at that time, but at the same time I unconsciously reached for his hand my heart started beating faster. Bokuto-san did not only bring a spark of light to my life, he had also lit a spark in my heart.