Longest chapter yet. I apologise for the wait. I struggled with the hate ive received because of this story and i recently realised that im going to write it how i want, people can just stop reading if they dont like it. Thank you to all those who are enjoying, favouriting and following -Prie
BELLA
The next few days Rose stayed on the couch sulking the entire time. We did breakup recovery for the whole of Sunday. We sat in our pjs, ate chocolate and popcorn and watched The Notebook and shitty romantic movies the entire time. Rose had cried to me that she missed Edward and i felt like more of a shitty person than i already was. There was one thing doing what she did but she clearly regretted it.
I didnt realise then what i know now. That Rose had meant she missed the Edward she knew in high school, the one that wasnt in love with me. She didnt mean physically miss him, that week she literally spent grieving the dream of a perfect relationship with her highschool boyfriend. It had nothing to do with the current Edward, she didnt want him back at all at this point. She was entirely in love with Emmett.
Tanya, Jane and Alice all came around at various points but nothing cheered her up. By day five she still hadn't been to any of her classes. I was upset over the whole thing just as much as her at this point. I didnt manage to tell her like i wanted to and it made me feel guilt like ive never felt before. It was stressing me out but above all I was furious at everyone. Rose, for cheating on Edward. Emmett for not being a fucking man and sorting this shit out months ago and above all Edward. He had left me to deal with this mess, I get that he didn't care if he and Rose were still friends after this but I did. What made me angrier was he didn't seem to have even spoken to Emmett. Men were such pussys. They avoided talking about feelings at all fucking costs.
After it was evident that Rose wasn't crawling into Emmett's bed after the break up and she was actually heartbroken I couldn't so much as look at Edward. I was highly conflicted when it came to him. Luckily after Sunday it was a regular week of classes and activities so there was no meet ups or hang outs because we were all entirely too busy but I glance Edward on Tuesday coming out of the coffee shop on campus. And I couldn't lie and say that when I saw him my heart didn't flutter at the memory of our only night together. I don't think I could stand pretending like it didn't happen but I knew I had to give it time. I wouldn't do this to Rose, not when she was like this. I avoided the library and coffee shop where we usually met and just went home after every class. I told him that I needed time and some space to think and I was taking care of Rose but in reality I couldn't stand being around him knowing how upset Rose was and she didn't even know the full story yet. It was Friday when he ran after me, grabbing me and pulling me into him. I sighed against the hug.
"What was that for?" I mumbled.
"I miss you" he said, his hand going through his hair. I quickly looked around to make sure no one we knew was around.
"You can't just do that." I told him.
"How's Rose?" he asked with a frown.
"She hasn't moved from the couch since sunday." I informed him adjusting my bag on my shoulder before it fell.
"From guilt or is she really playing the heartbroken card?" he asked heartlessly. I frowned at him.
"Either ways she's hurting, why does it matter?" he asked.
"Because if she's really playing the heartbroken innocent I want to remind her why I broke up with her in the first place. I can even show her the damn videos if she needs reminding!" he nearly yelled at me.
"Fuck off Edward" I said and turned my back on him.
"Bella!" he called after me all anger gone from his voice but I was already walking away. He may be right but it didn't mean she didn't deserve to grieve a near six year relationship.
I walked swiftly home, grateful he didn't follow. I swung open the door to see Rosalie gone from the couch. It wasn't until I heard her laugh that I got a sickly feeling in my stomach. I dropped my bag and headed up the stairs. She wasn't even trying to hide it. Her door was wide open and I saw her in the same position as on the camera, Emmett beneath her.
"Oh my god" I gasped, holding back the bile rising in my stomach.
"Bella!" Emmett gasped. I heard feet stumbling on the wooden floor as I ran down the stairs and out the door. I had left my bag behind so I didn't even have my phone. I ran to Edward's house. I wasn't necessarily running to him, just away from what I had witnessed.
My anger was now focused on Rose. She had just spent the last week crying and sleeping, she had told me her relationship with Emmett was a mistake! She had lied to my face and said she missed and loved Edward and yet I had just found her with Emmett not even a week after her breakup.
I don't know if he saw me on the cameras but he met me at the door. His hand raised ready. I reciprocated his high five and fell onto their comfy couch.
"You okay?" he asked i could see the grin on his face, probably happy i wasn't as mad as i seemed earlier on.
"Text Emmett and tell him I don't want to see him" I groaned.
"What?" he asked his smile fading.
"I just caught them in the same damn position from Saturday, except this time I got a firsthand look" I told him.
"Fuck" he murmured and I saw him pull out his phone.
"As mortified as they will be, they're probably getting a search party ready to make sure I'm okay. So just tell them I came here and I'm fine."
"Gotcha" he said and I saw him type out a text. It was moments before the phone rang.
"I don't want to hear it Rose"
"Please give me to Bella" I heard her on the other end.
"She really doesn't want to talk to you" he told her but I held my hand out. He handed it to me and I pulled it to my ear.
"Hey Rose I'm fine, I was just a little shocked, and a little too close to puking. I'm gunna study with Edward for a bit okay?" I asked her.
"Bella I am so sorry" she sounded mortified.
"Hey, we'll talk later okay?" I asked her. "I'm glad you're happy Rose, I am. I am just confused as to why you lied to me for a week. We can talk about it another time. I just need some air." I mumbled.
"Okay as long as we're okay?" she asked.
"Sure Rose" I said and hung up.
"You just lied out of your teeth" Edward said taking his phone off me.
"Of course I did. I have been caring for her 'broken heart' for five days. I have been her best friend like every time she got me through a breakup only to find it was all a fucking show and she never really needed to get over you in the first place" I said angrily.
"I did tell you she was feeling guilty" he said coming to sit next to me.
"I don't even think she feels guilty at this point," I sighed, my eyes on the wall of pictures opposite us. I remember when the boys moved in here after spending two years in the dorms. Rose, Alice and I spent hours choosing the best pictures to hang on that wall. It was the last eight years of our life in front of us. Many of Edward and Rose together, or me and Rose and even a few of me and Edward. All smiling, all laughing, all happy.
Had our perfect little world just fucked itself up?
"It will work out in the end" he murmured, pulling me into his chest. I laid against him, his hand coming down to play with mine in my lap. I didn't even want to fight it at this point. I was angry and I couldn't believe the lies Rose had been telling me just to make herself feel better. I had denied Edward even a glance in his direction since last week because of the guilt Rose had made me feel. Now I knew it was a lie and i just wanted his touch to comfort me for a moment or two.
"Are you sure about that? She doesn't know about us. Are you really ready to forgive both her and your brother and just go back to normal?" I said doubtfully.
"There's an us?" he asked with his usual cocky tone.
"Careful or ill punch you in the balls" I warned him. He laughed.
"You do that and there won't be much pleasure for you" he whispered into my ear. I rolled my eyes in response but I knew he couldn't see. He leant down to kiss my neck and I closed my eyes to let him. The moan escaped my lips as he reached my collar bone.
"I love your little noises" he laughed against me. "They're hot as hell" he groaned and pulled me to sit between his legs so I could feel what my 'noises' were starting to do to him.
The door slammed and I have never moved so quick in my life. I shuffled to the other side of the couch and Edward frowned at me from where id just been. I looked at him and threw him a pillow to sit in his lap and he just grinned. I couldn't help but smile back as Jasper and Alice walked into the room. I had let the moment go too far but i wasn't going to lie at the excitement it gave me to see him grinning like that.
"Hey kids" Alice said happily coming to sit by me. "How's Rose?" she asked me.
"She's managing" I told her with a fake smile. I heard Edward laugh and the both turned to look at him in shock.
"She's sleeping with my brother pretending she's heartbroken over me. Rosalie is just fine" Edward said bitterly.
"Jesus" Jasper mumbled. "Wanna go play some COD?" he asked Edward, completely avoiding anything serious. Men.
"Yeah why not" he mumbled standing and following Jasper out. I watched them leave before I turned to face Alice.
"You two have to be more careful" she giggled.
"What?" I asked her feigning ignorance.
"When we walked in here you both looked like naughty catholic kids being caught making out by their headmistress." she giggled harder and turned the TV on.
"Oh please" I mumbled but then turned to her after a pause. "It was that obvious?" I asked her. She winked at me.
"Rose and Emmett don't know don't worry." she said as she found Keeping up with the Kardashians to watch.
"Alice I love you but I can't watch this shit you call reality TV. I'm going to head to Tan and Jane's." I said giving her a wave as I stood up.
"Bye Bellabooks" she called and I scowled at the rain as I headed back down the street. I loved Alice but we were never close. She always spent her time with Jasper, they were so in love it used to make my heart ache. I wanted that so much. They lived for each other and half the time they were all each other talked about. I made my way to the house and rang Jane and Tanya's buzzer.
It immediately opened and I made my way to their part of the house. Jane was in her coat and pulling on a pair of boots when I got to her.
"Coffee?" she asked.
"Oh my god yes" I said suddenly realising my need for caffeine. "Where's Tanya?" I asked her as I held the door open waiting for her to leave.
"Class" she said and we headed to our favourite coffee shop. After ordering my favourite on the menu I slouched down in the comfy couch with a smile on my face right as I got a text from Edward.
I didn't get a chance to tell you I worked things out with my brother. I guess they were celebrating. we might not have to tell them after all. talk to you later.
"You seem happy" she said with a smile as she sipped her own coffee.
"I am, even if I am angry with Rose" I sighed and explained what had happened earlier on.
"That's a new low... I mean she broke up with Edward what four days ago?" she asked.
"Jane you doni't even know the start of it." I sad and I began to explain from the beginning what I knew. Only I did say I wasn't sure if they had actually been sleeping together as long as Edward said but as Jane pointed out, Edward had no reason to lie, Rose very much did.
"So you and Eddie?" she smiled wider. I sighed wistfully.
"I just couldn't stop it... I didn't want to stop it." I said eyeing her laughing at me.
"I think it's wonderful. You were both made for each other and it's taken too long for you both to figure it out" she told me.
"I honestly thought they we happy, I've suppressed my feelings for so long that I just passed it off as never going to happen. When he was standing in front of me kissing me, I thought I had passed out and was dreaming it. I was so mortified, it wasn't until I saw that video that I realised Rose never deserved him and I was angry that she could even do that to him. I didn't realise that we were doing the exact same thing to her."
"But Edward broke up with her the next day. You can go up and down the street of morals Bella but at the end of the day Rose led him to your bed. You'll just have to deal with her how she comes" Jane said as she sipped her coffee.
"Yeah I really don't know what to do about that. I love her and she's my best friend but how can she just treat people like that? like Edward wasn't six years of her life and I was a shoulder to fake cry on" I sighed.
"Rose doesn't know he cheated on her, least of all with you. Explore your relationship, you don't even know if it will work yet. Test out the boundaries, get to know Edward in a way that isn't silent glances and comfortable silence. Have fun, get laid, be the best friend to Rose. If in a few months time you know you and Edward wont work, then you end it, move on and Rose never has to know. If on the other hand you are serious you can come out to Rose and she will be happy for you because she has Emmett" Jane suggested. Could I live with that? If it saved our friendship I was definitely willing to consider it. I felt very differently towards her now than I did five days ago.
"Jane this is Rosalie Hale we're talking about" I laughed. "but I do like the idea of that. She gets to move on quickly why can't Edward? I can hope she's okay with it right?" I asked unsure.
"Of course you can my darling, and if she does kick off you just bring out the secret that she cheated on Edward for however long. She won't have a leg to stand on really."
"I just don't want to lose her" I sighed.
"You won't. You and Rose have been through thick and thin. You might be angry at each other for a while but you're practically sisters right? I mean you go to hers for Christmas for Christ's sake!" she reminded me.
"Her family is my family. I call her mom every week" I informed her.
"Exactly and I'm sure Hope Hale will not let her two favourite daughters fight over boys, the woman sounds like a no shit kinda woman" Jane said.
"She really is" I laughed. Jane had only met Hope once, it was when her and her husband Robert came to see mine and Rose's little house when we got it two years ago. Rose's dad wanted to see what he was paying for. He was a banker, and a hell of a good one. It wasn't just Edward and Emmett who came from money in our little circle of friends, Rose did too. Only she didn't flaunt it as much as the boys did. The Hales were my family. They took me in on Christmas, they sent me birthday presents and cards, Rose's mom rang me every week just as she rang her daughter to make sure I was okay and still studying. She was amazing and I knew without her in my life I wouldn't be where I was now. I owed everything to the Hale's. I would have rather have died than gone back to my mom in senior year, she didn't give a shit when her drunk rapist boyfriends tried to make their way into my room. Id scream for her to help me to get him away and she just ignored me every time. I didn't know if she was high or knocked out, she never came. I would sit with my door locked curled up on my bed listening to whoever it was banging for me to open up. It wasn't until I forgot to lock my door one night and one of the men physically climbed into my bed that I bolted out of there and fell on the doorstep of Rose's house. After explaining to her parents they immediately gave me the spare room and Hope went to collect my stuff the very next day, and also to inform my mother that unless she wanted a legal battle that would drain her dry she would leave me alone and let me live my life without her. Hope became my mother that day and I will be forever grateful to her.
That only made me feel more guilty for what I was doing to Rose. Should I really be angry at her for following her heart? It's not like I didn't do the exact same thing with her own boyfriend.
"You know everything will work out right? The Hales wont disown you. You're their daughter." she said.
"I know but I feel like I need to behave out of respect and gratitude for what they did for me."
"Rose isn't her parents. You can be mad at Rose and they have nothing to do with it. They'll understand" Jane assured me. "Maybe ring Hope and ask her advice."
"Ok I love Hope but I can't imagine talking to her about cheating boyfriends and Rose faking heartbreak. She'll be mortified," I laughed, she laughed with me.
"Fair enough, keep it between us then" she said finishing her coffee.
"Thanks Jane" I said finishing mine off too.
"No problem babe. Any time, I don't even tell Tanya the shit you tell me. I'm a closed book" she grinned as we stood to leave.
"You're basically my therapist you know" I laughed with her as we entered the street. It was raining. Again.
"Maybe I should start charging you" she said as we walked home. I said goodbye to Jane and entered my house to find silence. I walked over to the kitchen to find a note at the table.
Gone to the city for the night to give you some space. Won't be back until tomorrow day, we've booked a hotel. I'm sorry I acted the way I did.
Love you.
Sis.
I sighed at the note and threw it in the trash. She had chickened out and was avoiding me, at least until tomorrow. It sort of gave me time to think through what I wanted to say to her anyway. I opened the fridge to find some dinner and when I realised that I hadn't gone shopping yet I sighed in frustration. I had been so busy worrying about Rose I hadn't done the weekly shop. I jumped up on the counter and pulled my phone out to order a take out to see I had a text from Edward.
Em and Rose are going to the city. Can I come around?
About to order food if you want a say in what we eat make it snappy. I sent a quick reply and opened the Uber Eat app. The door bell rang before I even scrolled through the options. I jumped off the counter and headed to the door to see Edward standing on the other end.
"Was that snappy enough for you?" he asked. I smiled and grabbed his shirt to pull him towards me. I kissed him softly and before he could take it further I turned away and pulled my phone back out.
"What do you want to eat?" I asked.
"You?" he asked with a grin, I rolled my eyes at him.
"No. Food. I need energy." I sighed and slumped on the couch.
"Chinese?" he asked.
"Hmm no" I mumbled.
"Indian?"
"No."
"Burgers?" he asked and I pretended to puke. "You love burgers." he said with a frown.
"The thought makes me feel sick." I scowled. My stomach was starting to churn at the idea.
"Pasta? I'm kinda running out of ideas here" he said pulling me into his side. "You're not normally this picky."
"Yeah nothing sounds nice right now... what about...Mexican?" I asked him.
"Whatever you want baby" he said to me.
"That was a test. You passed" I grinned at him. He hated Mexican food.
"Oh thank god" he sighed kissing my forehead.
"Let's go pizza" I said going to our favourite pizza place on the menu. "So what did Emmett say?" I asked him as we curled up on the couch to wait for our food.
"He apologised for it all. It was a bit weird to be honest. I'm not used to talking about feelings" he mumbled and I chuckled.
"Men."
"Has Rose apologised to you?" he asked.
"Sort of, through a note. I guess we'll talk tomorrow. Did you tell Emmett about us?" I said turning to see his face.
"No. He told me to make my move on you though" he laughed.
"What?" I asked with wide eyes.
"Apparently I haven't been hiding my feelings as much as I thought I had. Rose has known I was in love with you ever since I started pushing her away a few months ago. I didn't realise I was doing it, it was my own fault she fell for my brother. He told me to talk to you, to find out what you feel for me and maybe work something out from there" he explained but I frowned.
"He thinks Rose will be okay with this?" I asked in doubt. I mean she may have known there was something between us for a while but she was still proud and selfish at times. She wouldn't want to admit to us and our friends that she knew all along and stayed with Edward as second best, because no matter how many times Edward or I would tell her she wasn't, shed be too stubborn to believe it. She saw what other people saw as more important than believing the truth.
"I have a feeling she'll paint me as the bad guy but honestly, if I get you at the end, she can paint me as the devil. Only we know the truth of our relationship. My conscious is clear. Can she say the same?" he said kissing my temple.
"Edward if I was feeling the same as her these past months I would have been a mess too. When you realise your boyfriend of five years doesn't love you that must be heartbreaking. You broke her heart Edward and she's my best friend. We can't happen until she's got over that okay?" I asked him strongly.
"But she is over it. She's in a relationship with Emmett"
"She's not over it. The last few days proved that and if I had known she knew that entire time I'd have acted very differently when I caught her with Emmett. I can't imagine what she must have felt and she obviously found comfort in Emmett. I don't approve of how she dealt with it, I don't approve of her cheating on you but I also don't want to rub it in her face that we're in love and together a week after you broke up either. I'm not okay with this" I said moving out of his arms. I really wasn't. I wasn't going to do this to Rose. Everything Jane said was swimming around in my mind. I wanted Edward but I also wanted to make sure that this was a real thing before I let Rose know that her best friend was in love with her ex for the majority of our college years just as much as he was in love with her. I didnt want to destroy her pride over nothing if this wasn't the start of an actual relationship that could last.
"Bella" he said painfully reaching for me but the door bell went and it was my excuse to move away from him to get our pizza.
"Eat your pepperoni" I grinned opening the pizza and grabbing a slice for myself.
"Are we okay?" he asked, he looked petrified. Genuinely petrified. I wanted to hug him tell him I took it all back and I didn't care if Rose walked in on us right this second but I knew this had to be done right. I wanted to know him, I wanted to know every part of him before I decided if it was worth breaking my best friends heart over.
"Edward I'm not saying I don't want to see you. I know I love you. I want to be with you. I do. I'm just saying that we can't go public yet. I don't want her to see us together until she's ready for that." I said to him enjoying my pizza entirely too much. He laughed at me as I fell back on the couch in pure bliss. It was so good.
"Does that mean we can sneak around?" he asked with a wink as he took a slice for himself. "It might be kind of exciting."
I paused for a moment to look at him, his eyes locked with mine and I sighed.
"I'm serious. I want to know you, I want to learn about you, I want to know what we have is going to last, I want to know it's not some lust filled game and that we can actually withstand a relationship. I want to know that all you've said to me is true. That I'm not the only one that feels the energy between us. Last Saturday was the best night of my life, but relationships aren't just sex. I want to be sure of us before I risk it all and it blows up in front of Rose. I don't want her to have any ammunition against us. "
"Okay Bella." he said seriously. "I will do whatever you think is right."
"I know that's what you used to say to Rose when you thought she was going to go crazy bitch on you. say what you think." I said scowling. This was serious shit. I was talking about forming a relationship behind someone's back for the sake of that persons sanity and he just wasn't taking it seriously.
"Yes you're right. That's what I used to say to Rose when she was being ridiculous but I wouldn't do that to you. You are not ridiculous and I mean every word," he said and there was something in his face that told me he was telling the truth. We could do this.
"Okay good. So we're on the same page." I clarified.
"Seriously though how are we supposed to do this? I do agree relationships aren't just sex but sex is also a major part of a relationship. I don't think we should completely take it off the table for Rose's sake. Sex is one of the best ways to get to know someone," he said I could see he was trying to be extremely careful with how he worded that and I smiled sweetly at him. He obviously misinterpreted my little speech.
"I never said no sex Edward. I'm willing to sneak around," I winked and his face lit up.
"Like actually? Not just talking... I mean I agree I love that whole thing, I want to know you too but we can fuck too?"
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Only when Rose is no where around. She can't catch us the way we caught them, and we're never so much as touching each other in your house with those damn cameras. It's here or no where" I warned him. He just grinned at me.
"Or the coffee house" he winked. I nearly choked on my pizza.
"No Edward" I laughed.
"I guess I'll just have to persuade Emmett to take her to our house and ill come here" he suggested.
"And how are you going to explain that to Rose?" I mused.
"Library?" he asked in doubt and I just laughed.
I liked this. Just being carefree and laughing with Edward. It gave me hope. That one day we could do this and Rose and Em would be on the other couch doing the same.
Fate was cruel and I knew deep down that this wasn't going to be that easy to iron out.
