GeneralGayDisclaimer:
I do not own any of these characters. I do not own wal mart. I do not own crazy frog.
I do not own ANYTHING.
Chapter 4
Clouds POV
Well Damn.
This was an unexpected turn. Invited Sephiroth over? With us here?
I decided to look around and see how everyone else was taking the news.
Demyx was just kind of sitting on the other side of the bed, not paying attention, making the sock puppets dance around while making creepy little 'ee!' noises. I shook my head slightly. Demyx was a card.
Zack looked a nice mixture of emotions. On one hand, he looked extremely excited at the prospect of having Sephiroth over..probably too excited.
On the other hand, he kept slipping into a nervous stance and glancing at Leon. Apparently I wasn't the only one who hadn't been informed.
Now Leon...Leon looked...well, the same as always, really. That kind of "Hey, I'm pissy, get the fuck away. By the way have you seen my shoes" look. Though I bet that if I could enter his brain, I would find myself in a thought-bubble shaped like a little battle dome, where a figment Leon was giving the thumbs-down and a figment Zack was getting brutally mauled by tigers.
Damn you, chapter 12 in the History book. You will forever haunt me. Never do as the Romans do..Never.
..Anyway. Enough of that.
"Rearranging your bookshelf, huh?" Leon said, obviously unhappy. He then smirked a little. "Oh well, it isn't like you didn't invi-" Leon was stopped short as Zack went into a Panicked spasm and made a distressed noise before throwing an arm around Tseng and guiding him out into the hallway. Okaaaay? What was that about?
"Zack is about to get his ass beat." Leon told me matter-o-factly. "He made a deal with Tseng where if he didn't invite Demyx over, Tseng would 'rearrange his book shelf.' which I suppose is Idiot for 'Invite Sephiroth over'"
I rolled my eyes. Talk about making deals with the devil.
"Strange though, Tseng didn't mention anything when he walked in about Demyx being here.."
Suddenly Zack burst in the door, and ran over to Demyx. "He didn't see you! Quick, get under the bed!"
"What? What are you do-" Demyx squealed as Zack began pushing him under the bed.
When he was finished, he stood up straight, looking proud of himself. Or he did, until he was hit in the face with a sock puppet thrown by a very unhappy looking Demyx.
"I'm sorry, just stay there long enough for my brother to call Seph, okay?"
What could be seen of Demyx eyes widened considerably.
"Why he is calling him!"
Jee Demyx, I think we got past this already. Pay attention. Maybe he needs Aderol...Okay, I KNOW he needs Aderol. Really, did sock puppets keep him that distracted?
"Yea! I want him over for my birthday! I know you guys don't really like him...well..Leon, I know you hate him, but come on. Don't you guys want to see me happy on my Birthday?" He added a pathetic pouty face for affect.
"But he is scary!" Demyx cried from the bed.
"Shhhhhhhhhh!" Zack shushed as Tseng walked into the room.
"Shh...ampagne is French for champagne." Zack finished 'smartly.'
"It's said the same." Tseng said, annoyed. "It is French."
He made his way over to the bed, earning a gulp from Zack, and sat down on it. Demyx looked pretty frightened as well. But then his face changed to something much worse than fear. He smiled. I could basically see those devious little wheels turning, as I was sure what he was thinking.
Yep. I was right. As Tseng picked up the phone from the night stand, Demyx deft little fingers began the classic "shoe strings tied together" number. I suppose that's something that results from years of playing the Sitar. Demyx probably has the most accurate finger coordination of anyone I've ever met. But damn, if it wasn't going to get him killed. And soon.
To the left of me I heard a struggled cough, and I looked and saw Zack, how had the single most horrified expression I have ever seen. I looked over at Leon, who was just willing Demyx on, dying for Tseng to bust his ass. The room was completely silent.
Tseng looked at us strangely as he put the phone to his ear. Clearly, we were too quite.
He was about to comment when someone on the other line picked up, and screamed something that vaguely sounded like "tomagachi giga-pet whirlpool."
Tseng closed his eyes and mouthed something that suspiciously resembled 'fuck.'
"Hello Xemnas. I need you to do me a favor, okay?" He didn't give 'Xemnas' a chance to reply, which is probably for the best, considering his phone greeting, and continued. "I need you to bring the phone to Sephiroth. You remember him, right?" he said slowly.
I threw Zack a very confused glance.
"Seph lives with his Uncle. Xemnas is his cousin...he is also quite the crack addict. Like really, he has come to school with it still on his nose before." Zack whispered to me.
What the hell! Sephiroth lives with crack heads?
"No Xemnas. I do not want to talk to the VCR player. Please give the phone to Sephiroth."
He rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'll buy you pizza. Yes. Thank you. Good Bye Xemnas... Hey Seph..
Yes, I hate him too...No...No...Actaully, I have been put into a situation. Tonight is Zack's
birth-- yes. The idiot...anyway. We made a deal. I need you to come over and spend the ni-"
A strange noise was heard through the phone, followed by a yell and a shattering noise. Tseng looked down at the phone, but it to his ear, and then looked at It again. "Connection was lost. Sorry Zack, I tried." He didn't sound that sorry.
Just then the phone rang and Zack snatched it out of Tseng's hand.
"Hello?"
His face brightened considerably.
"No, Tseng isn't here, he is in the bathroom, can I take a message?"
He was grinning like a fiend at Tseng, who was looking at him disdainfully.
"I'll tell him, see ya soon Babe!" He added cheesily and hung up. I didn't have to turn around to see Leon rolling his eyes and yet again releasing the tigers in his head.
Zack looked at Tseng smugly.
"Oh good, you're out of the bathroom. Anyway, you'll never guess who called."
"Not the faintest idea Zack. Please. Enlighten me." Tseng said unenthusiastically. I guess humoring him was faster than arguing. Zack looked pleased.
"It was Sephiroth. He said that Xemnas thought the phone line was an angry serpent of hell, and forced it to repent by decap..deca.."
"Decapitating?" A voice from under the bed supplied him.
"Yea!..." His face turned to one of those scrunched up 'this is going to hurt' and he turned to look at Tseng.
"What was that.." Tseng said calmly. That kind of calm that you knew you couldn't trust. The kind of calm that wanted to turn into a dragon and eat you...sorry. Got a little caught-up there.
Zack's silence obviously wasn't the correct answer. Tseng stood from the bed and moved to assault his brother.
As they say
..Big tree fall hard.
Yes, that's right. The always cool, always composed, always perfect Tseng.. just did face plant.
I looked around the room I noticed the mixed reactions of the other people.
Demyx was giggling and looking mighty proud of himself, as he was pulling himself out from under the bed. Leon was barely containing a fit of laughter, which was very un-Leonish of him. But I suppose this was a special occasion. It wasn't everyday Tseng fell from grace. And Zack, Zack looked 12 shades of death. He looked nauseous. Yet somewhere in his brain, I know he was appreciating this for what it was, and was laughing deep down.
I was kind of a combination of all 3.
I was proud of Demyx for pulling one over Tseng, deeply humored by Tseng's fall, and afraid for what was going to happen once Tseng regained his composure. What an interesting night this was.
Slowly, with more dignity than I thought a man could muster have such an incident, Tseng pulled himself from the floor.
He began quietly, with an emotionless face,
"For the time being, I am going to ignore this. I am going to ignore the fact that you have blatantly lied about inviting Demyx, I am going to ignore that the aforementioned boy tripped me, and I am going to ignore the that I have the overpowering desire to pull the gun out of Father's closet and blow you all the hell away." He nodded to himself, Zack wincing with each statement. "Now Zack, if you would kindly finish relaying the message."
Zack nodded, unsure of his safety and the honesty in Tseng's statement.
"Xemnas thought the phone line was a snake and ripped it out of the wall...Sephiroth called back on another phone and said that he was not in the mood to deal with his idiotic family and that he was on his way over here."
Zack was struggling to keep the smile off of his face at the thought of Sephiroth coming over.
He looked at Tseng expectantly.
"No."
Zack's face faltered a little. "What? He said he was coming over."
"No." Tseng repeated. "You lied, so he isn't coming over."
"Well it seems like it's kinda too late.." I interjected. "He said he was on his way."
Tseng glared at me, making me wish I hadn't said anything. Leon was just now recovering from his amusement at Tseng's fall.
Tseng maintained silence as he calmly untied his shoes and removed them. He walked over to the closet as I all but leaped out of his way, as not to block him. I really didn't feel like making him angrier than he already was.
After he placed his shoes neatly in his closet, he paced back over to the bed and began fixing any wrinkles that had been placed in it, before sitting down on it once more.
What a clean freak.
Beds aren't meant to look perfect. Beds are wonderful creatures. The messier and more wrinkled and covered unevenly with blankets they are, the better.
..I miss my bed...
Awkward silence overtook the room as everyone just stared at one another. It remained this way for about 2 minutes, before Demyx began to shuffle his feat, desperate for some noise to be made. However, this was put to a halt as Tseng sent him a glare. Demyx was relieved when the eyes were removed from him. He sighed when suddenly his cell phone began ringing, breaking our newly unwritten rule of complete silence.
For the record. Demyx didn't have a regular nice little "please answer your phone" ring tone. No No. He had that damn Crazy Frog ring tone. That one that everyone hates because it is so annoying, and yet downloads at least one time in their life or another. He frantically patted himself down until he picked the right pocket and flipped it open and said 'Hello' as fast as he could.
"DEMMMYYYX!" Screamed the person over the phone, loud enough for the dead to hear. Demyx fidgeted, unbelievably nervous from the scrutiny from Tseng.
"Hey Axel.." He said quietly.
"IM REALLY REEEEALY DRUNK" Axel informed the Earth's population.
"That's wonderful Axel, I have to go-"
"COME GET DRUNK WITH ME"
"I can't, I'm at–" He looked over at Zack who was motioning "No" like crazy. If Axel caught wind of another party, he would be here in a heartbeat. God knows we did not need a crazy drunk guy right now.
"I'm having dinner at..WalMart.."
..Walmart?
"WELL WHEN YOUR DONE, COME OVER HERE. WE'RE ALL AT MY HOUSE."
He shouted again. Jesus Christ, despite his thin figure, Axel must have massive lungs.
"All right Axel, I'll see you then..." Demyx hurriedly closed his phone and looked sheepish.
"Sorry about that."
Tseng just nodded his head calmly as he stood and walked out of the room. A pair of headlights shone through the window. I guess Sephiroth was here. Well, here starts possibly the strangest night of my life.
"What are you doing!" I heard Leon grunt. I looked over and saw that Zack was on his knees in front of him, grasping Leon's hands in his own.
"I am begging you LeeLee. I am BEGGING you. Please please please please try not to fight with Seph. PLEASE? Tryyyyy to get along. Or ignore him all together. PLEEEEASE!"
"That's very dignified of you, Zack" I said through an amused snicker. He sent me a look out of the corner of his eyes before returning his attention to Leon. "I'll do anything. I'll wash your car, I'll buy you candy, I'll nurse your children." Leon snatched his hands away from Zack, disgusted. We all gave Zack a strange look.
"Okay so I can't nurse your children! JUST PLEASE SO THIS FOR ME."
Before Leon could answer, Tseng re-entered the room, this time with Sephiroth behind him.
Zack ripped his eyes away from Leon to stare embarrassingly at him. Seriously, Zack needs to learn some self control. Or at least be discrete about it. But this was Zack we were talking about.
Sephiroth turned and looked at Zack, then at Tseng, then back to Zack.
"Happy Birthday Zack."
I think my jaw just hit the floor. I would ask Zack if it had, but he looked a bit to dreamy to think.
"Reeallly?" Zack asked.
"No." Sephiroth answered, as Tseng smirked and Zack pouted.
---
After about an hour or two of strained conversation, 3 would have been fights, several stupid remarks, countless bad pick up lines, and Sephiroth shrugging off any advances from Zack, Zack finally broke.
"Okay. I have been patient. I have been nice, I have been everything a birthday boy should be."
He looked around at all of us. "It's 12 am. And I have not gotten to rip open a single present.
What.. The Hell." He paused looking thoughtful for a moment, before sliding up beside Sephiroth and slinking a hand around his waist.
Oh Man. Zack was a glutton for pain.
"Not that your presence isn't a gift in it's self, you sexy little nymph."
Oh yea, a complete glutton.
Sephiroth was about to say, or probably harm, something before Tseng smacked Zack on the head and ripped him off of Seph.
"Stop hitting on my friend. It disturbs the hell out of me. Your presents are on the coffee table."
Zack looked both hurt, and filled with glee. "YESSS!"
As we were dragged out of the room, the door slammed shut behind us.
I heard a chuckle through the door.
"We're going to bed. You guys have fun sleeping in the living room." Tseng called.
Zack tried to open the door only to find it locked. "THIS ISN'T FAIR TSENG. Mark my words, oh evil brother of mine! Mark my words! I will have my revenge!"
"That's nice, Zack." was his only answer.
Zack stared at the door a little before turning to the rest of us.
"TIME FOR GIFTS!" He yelled before running into the livingroom.
"Well he recovered fast" I commented to Leon and Demyx.
"I get the couch." Was Leon's reply as he made his way after Zack.
"I get the recliner!" Demyx said as he took off to the room as well.
Damn..wait. "You can't call things! This isn't even your house!" I cried after them.
I heard Leon answer from the livingroom "I'm already on it. Now hurry up and get in here to watch your friend open these horribly wrapped gifts before he cries."
I trudged my way in to see Zack lunging for his pile of gifts.
He looked at them all, trying to chose which one to open first. After 45 seconds and still no decision, Leon decided to step in.
"Here, this one first" he said, as he handed Zack the monstrosity that Demyx had gotten him.
Zack wasted no time ripping into the post-it note coated box. He peered into it and a confused look crossed his face. Demxy grinned triumphantly. "I remembered you said you wanted one 10 years ago!"...That's creepy. Not that Zack has advanced much mentally in ten years, but still.
"Is this..." Zack's eyes got wide as he removed this relic of a gift from the box. "IT IS!"
..You have got to be kidding me..
No. You have got to be fucking kidding me.
"An E-Z-Bake Oven!" Leon asked, perplexed and frightened.
Zack only nodded in awe, before setting the toy oven gingerly down on the table, and standing up from the couch and engulfing Demyx in a huge hug.
"Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome, Zacky!" Demyx said happily, pleased that he has made a good decision.
Zack sat back down on the couch and Leon handed him his next present.
"This one is from me" he said.
Zack grinned as he opened it fiercely.
"HOT WHEELS?"
The room was filled with silence at the blank look on Zack's face. Maybe Leon didn't make the right choice...Damn, and I put my name on it, too, when he wasn't looking.
Slowly, Zack looked around before ripping open the box of hot wheels and began to set up the track. "I'm the Tide Car!" he yelled. Zack was such a...a kid. Oh well, I guess that's why we loved him.
"Hold on, Dale Earnheart Jr. Open the rest first."
Zack pouted slightly before obeying and accepting the next gift Leon handed him.
"This one is from Cloud" Zack informed us, reading the card attached to it. He tossed me a grin before opening it.
He's going to hate it...
"A Journal?" he asked.
He hates it!
"yea.." I said meekly.
"Aw! THANKS CLOUD!" Now I can write about my ever so amazing life every night before I go to bed!" He set the journal down on top of the E-Z-Bake and took another gift.
"This one is from Mom and Dad."
He read the card, rolling his eyes and smiling. "They love me."
He proceeded to open the gift.
"WHAT? I TAKE IT BACK. THEY DON'T LOVE ME AT ALL. WHAT THE HELL!"
He ripped out the obviously enraging object and showed it to us.
HA!. I promptly fell over laughing.
"An ACT study disk! NO! WHAT KIND OF GIFT IS THAT!"
Leon pried the disk out of his hand. "Maybe they are trying to tell you something, Zack." he said, as the disgruntled Zack swiped up the next gift.
"..I can't read this.." he said, staring at the squiggly handwriting.
"It's from your Grammie and Gampie!" chirped Demyx, who could some how read the writing.
"Oh! Well they love me. They won't let me down." Zack said hopefully, as he opened the package covered in UPS stamps.
"SOCKS!" Demyx said as Zack pulled several pairs of socks out of the oversized envelope/package hybrid.
Zack grinned as he tossed each of us a pair of multicolored, thick slipper socks.
"Everyone put on the birthday socks!" He said as he began working is own over his feet.
I smiled to myself as I removed my shoes and put on my florescent green socks.
Surprisingly, even Leon put his on too. I never thought I would see him in turquoise, that's for sure.. Demyx got a neon yellow pair, and Zack's were purple.
"Last present" I informed him after everyone got their feet nice and socked up.
I hesitantly glanced at the tag. "It's from Tseng."
Zack shared my expression as he opened the card attached to a box. He read it aloud.
"Dear Zack,
I do hope you enjoy this gift. Sephiroth and I drove all the way downtown
to pick it out.
Love, Tseng"
He set the card down looking excited. "There are lots of neat stores down town...I wonder what it is!" He picked up the box. It was extremely heavy.
He ripped it open and glanced down.
Down into a box packed to the brim with gravel. Atop of the gravel was a note that said
"Courtesy of the Down Town Construction Agency."
Zack looked pretty depressed until he flipped the note over and saw the words
"Your real gift is in my jacket pocket. Jackets hanging on the back of the couch. Take anything more than that envelope, and I'll rip out every bone in your body through your left ear."
With a brief paranoid glance at the card, he reached over to the jacket that he had been resting his head on and pulled an envelope from the pocket.
He hastily opened it, probably praying that It wouldn't contain a leaf or something.
"200 DOLLARS!" He exclaimed excitedly.
He slid the money into a page in the journal I got him before yelling out his thanks.
"THANK YOU TSENG! AND THANK YOU SEPHIROTH FOR HELPING MY BROTHER WITH ALL THOSE ROCKS. THAT WAS REALLY SWEET OF YOU. IN FACT. WITH THIS MONEY, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET LUNCH SOMETIME."
"SHUT UP ZACK." Was all that was heard, and Zack smiled.
"I'm just the greatest. Thank you guys for everything!"
We all said our 'you're welcomes' to Zack and decided it was about time to go to sleep. Unfortunately we all had to be at school the next day. It had taken about 2 hours of convincing my mom to let me stay over on a school night.
It was 12:30 and we all had to be up in 5 hours. I need my 8 hours. I am so doomed.
After about 15 minutes of heated rock papers scissors matches, the sleeping order was decided.
Leon got the couch, like he wanted (lucky bastard), Zack got the over stuffed chair, I got the recliner, and Demyx got the floor. Poor Demyx.
We exchanged our good nights, turned out the lights, and settled down for sleep.
I was just about to fall asleep when heard Zack's voice ask,
"Do you think Sephiroth is using my pillow? I wonder if he will drool on it..that would be so
hot-"
I heard a thud noise as presumably Leon threw a pillow at Zack, before stating loudly. "Good Night, Zack."
---
End Chapter!
This one is a lot longer than the other ones, haha.
Like it? Hate it?
