"GET OFF OF ME!" He wasn't going to look up.
"I can't! You transvestite!" He refused to look up.
"Then, stop touching there!" By god if he looked up he was going to regret it. Even though he said that England had found himself looking up.
"Who are these?" He asked America seeing as how there was a really muscular mannish teen in half a dress conjoined to a busty womanish teen who looked like she was a guy except for the breasts.
"That is New York." He knew he was going to regret looking up and yet, what did he do? Damn him for his curiousity.
"It's my dick too!" ...Just then another one of the children came in.
"That's New Jersey." England just made a hnn kind of sound and went back to sewing a patch on America's jacket. Honestly, how do you get a whole in the elbow?
"New York, what's up with your hair? It's got green and red in it?" New Jersey asked so politely. Yay, point for sarcasm.~
"Ain't nothin' wrong wit my hair!" England could not help the eye twitch.
"OH SHUT UP! Your hair is such a horrid color! I mean, you make me not wanna be New York anymore." The lovely boy side declared. Well, if you could call it a boy. A very womanly boy. Or man. It had a beard and a dress. He wasn't sure what to call that.
"Fuck you! You can go be conjoined to Alaska then!" England looked back up at this to see someone who looked like a combination of Russia and sort of America but different. He looked like that one person that England could not recall whatsoever.
"Пошел на хуй." England quirked his massive brow and Alaska gave him one of those creepy smiles that Russia has on all the time. He just assumed to leave it be.
"Alaska, now it isn't polite to curse." America chastised him and England just ignored it. He just assumed America knew Russian from the Cold War days.
"What were the drills for a nuclear attack?" America gave him a questioning look.
"What? OH! You mean from back then, yeah?"
"Yes, I do mean from back then."
"Oh, put your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye." …Why did he even ask? Because England apparently didn't have any brains. Yay~
"HEY! GIVE IT BACK!" Go back to your sewing. Go back to your sewing. Go back- Screw it.
He should have went back to his sewing. Just then Pennsylvania came out buck naked chasing after Mississippi who had a rabbit.
"GIVE ME BACK MY BOCKING BUNNY!" …...
"Pardon my intrusion on your, er, conversation, but bunnies don't bock." That earned him a glare from Pennsylvania.
"WHAT? Then, what about that bunny on the Cadbury commercials?"
"Special effects. Bunnies really don't bock..." Oh shit. Pennsylvania just then started to cry. OH shit.
"Way to go! Now you made her cry! You couldn't just let her believe that bunnies bock? Was that SO much to ask for?"
"But bunnies don't bock!" America just glared at him and ran after Pennsylvania to make her feel better.
"Well, now that is over with. By the way, Michigan and Alabama are 'experimenting' in the back bedroom. Oh, and Louisiana is video taping it all and streaming it on to a porno site that pedophiles often visit. That and she is 'petting' New Mexico." Alaska smiled deviously and England almost wondered why, but then remembered exactly what he had told him.
"WHAT?" England ran to the back bedroom as fast as possible and opened the door.
"... Wha? … Wrong bedroom." He closed the door forever traumatized by what he had seen.
"Hey! England, I have now helped out Pennsylvania. What's that look on your face?" England didn't even stop to think about what he was about to say.
"Michigan, hand, Louisiana, Alabama, and New Mexico without clothes and that is all the description ever needed." America just gave him an inquisitive look. England didn't even bother to try and explain he just opened the door and walked away.
"OH MY FUCKING GAWD! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" You could hear America scream it from inside his living room. The man has some lungs on him he'll give him that much.
"YOU SHOULD KNOCK!" That was Louisiana.
"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE YOUR HAND THERE ANYWAY!" That was the part that had really scared England.
"YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A HARD ON!" Wait, what?
"SHUT UP! ENGLAND WILL HEAR YOU!" Too late, man. Too late.
Then, everything was quiet and all of the younger children looked up at England for an answer to what their conversation was about. He just smiled and excused himself telling Alaska to watch over them for a minute.
He ran into the bathroom and rinsed his face in cold water praying that he had not heard what he had just heard. He probably had just misheard America and the others. Hopefully. He prayed to god that he did.
England walked back into the living room after only being gone a moment or two.
"Alaska, where are the others?" He asked when he realised that Alaska was, in fact, the only one in the room besides the bunny and himself.
"In the closet." … He wasn't going to ask.
"I don't want to know, but I need you to get them out." At least the child wasn't lying. That had to be a plus, right?
England just shrugged his shoulders and went to go lay down. He was getting wwwaaaaaaayyyy too old for this kind of shit.
"England, oh hey." America ran in to him on his way to the bedroom.
"America?" He felt something hard pressing against him for his counter part had yet to move away from him.
"Yes?"
"You're hard." …...
"...Uh..."
"I'm going to bed. Wake me tomorrow." He said and walked into the bedroom. He could faintly hear America say something about how it was only three in the afternoon, but he chose to ignore it.
A.N./ I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I do apologize for fucking the states up so much, but hey, at least you get a good laugh. I hope this chapter was as funny as the last and have a good after noon. Evening if you're farther east. Oh, and the Pennsylvania was based on my mother who really thought that bunnies bocked. They do not.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers or Cadbury bunnies that bock.
