Dear Readers,
I know it's been forever since I updated, but I told you I was going to continue!! This story has now become officially AU for season 5, since obviously I don't think Sam's going to be captured. But why stop writing the story? Even though it's becoming angstier with every chapter. But no worries. I hope you enjoy, and don't forget to review!
Best regards from a Bookworm (and SGA McCarter fan who is GOING TO SHORE LEAVE!!)
Miss Pookamonga ;-P
Previously...
He felt Teyla's strong hands tighten around his as he began sifting through the distorted film images in his mind, searching for the opening scene of his horrific nightmare. Much to his dismay, it didn't take long for him to find it, and once he did, he once again felt as if he had been plucked out from inside himself and roughly dropped into the dark and dingy prison cell. The only thing that felt different this time was the distinct presence of another, much stronger consciousness alongside him—obviously Teyla.
There were a few moments of eerie silence before he started hearing the echoes of screams bouncing off the black walls. The echoes grew steadily louder and louder until they were almost deafening, and all of a sudden, there Sam was before him, writhing in agony on the ground with a dark shadow looming over her. He squirmed inwardly and felt his real stomach churn as the dark shadow advanced closer to her body and Sam's screams grew increasingly more anguished and terrified. Fear and desperation suddenly seized him, and all memory of Teyla and the room around him vanished as he frantically pushed at himself to lift his feet, to move forward, to rush toward Sam and drag her screeching form away from whatever-it-was that was torturing her. But, he realized with horror that he was paralyzed, cemented to the spot, unable to move and doomed to stand and witness as the spirit of the only woman he had ever truly loved was relentlessly ripped to shreds by a presence he couldn't discern. He felt an anguished scream of his own rise in his throat as Sam's eyes snapped open and tears of terror flowed down her emaciated face.
Somewhere in the distance, he felt someone tugging at him, trying to grip him tightly, whispering fervently at him to concentrate, concentrate, keep concentrating. Concentrate on what? All he could see was his Love spiraling into oblivion, clutching at whatever was left of her sanity and of her life...
Then, something happened that hadn't happened before.
Sam's eyes locked with his.
Her gaze burned with so much pain and longing that he could almost physically feel fiery-hot hands grabbing him and refusing to let go. For a moment, he felt his heart stop, his breath cease, and all reality was only the Indescribable swimming in those watery sky-blue eyes scalding him with a power he couldn't seem to comprehend. The line between reality and vision, dream and consciousness was suddenly crossed, and he knew in that split second that Sam Carter was truly looking at him, trying to tell him something...
The someone in the far distance was shouting and shaking him vigorously, but he hardly felt it, because all he felt was her gaze boring into his...
THUD.
Rodney hit the floor with amazing force, the air suddenly rushing into his lungs all at once and leaving him lightheaded. He blinked once, twice, and Teyla's worried face blurred into view. He was disoriented for a moment, forgetting once again where he was and why he was there...until he suddenly remembered Sam's blue eyes gazing desperately into his, and he jolted upright, gripping Teyla firmly by the shoulders.
"Rodney, what is it?!" Teyla asked anxiously, her eyes widening in fear as she futilely attempted to get Rodney to lie back down and relax.
"I...I...I..."
"What?" Teyla was trembling along with him now.
"I think I know where Sam is."
For Ellymelly--HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
Chapter 3: The Secrets He Never Knew
She had seen him.
Seen him standing there, helpless and unable to help her, and part of her had known, despite her indescribable suffering, that she had had to ease his. It had seemed only like a dream, but she had somehow felt that he was there with her in her cell, aching to free her but powerless to do so. She had needed to tell him that she could still be saved, that she was still alive, that he still had something to live for. But she had also needed to plea for her life, to beg him to burst out of his cocoon of guilt and flee to her rescue. It was the only way either of them could ever be at peace again.
She hadn't known how it had happened. She had squeezed her eyes shut, desperately trying to block out the excruciating pain, and all of a sudden, he had appeared there just a few feet away from her. He had stood there frozen in shock and horror, his body racking with uncontrollable sobs as he had attempted several times to move towards her, but to no avail. She had screamed louder and louder, her mouth trying to form his name, trying to catch his attention. And then...suddenly, she had felt her head turn, and her eyes had locked with his, and everything had dissipated into the air. Silence. A deadweight silence penetrating the space between them, words being spoken between their gazes without voices, knives diving themselves into each other's eyes. And then it had all faded to black.
She had just awoken, feeling nauseatingly dizzy, and she had an all-too familiar throbbing pain near her legs. Groggily, she tried to shift her body over into a more comfortable position, but she cried out in agony as she felt another pain stab her sharply in her side, and she reluctantly rolled back over. Woozily, she peered down at her abdomen, and she nearly screamed in horror when she saw the blood.
It was everywhere, glistening sickeningly on the fabric of her ripped shirt, plastering itself to her bare skin, leaving trails of dried-up rivers and pools on the cold floor. She felt the pain shoot through the core of her body like lightning, searing every nerve and causing her head to feel as if it would split open at any second. Groaning in anguish, she slowly moved her hand towards her stomach to try to find the wound, but the moment her fingertips met flesh, she cried out as the pain zapped her like an electric shock, making her jerk her hand away.
How long had she been lying here, unconscious, her life bleeding away by the minute? How long did she even have to live?
I will not cry, she resolvedly told herself. I've done too much of that. I can't waste any more energy.
But the pain was too much. And the minute she closed her eyes to try to erase it from her mind, all she saw was Rodney's face drenched in tears, crying for her.
With every sob, the pains in her side and near her legs throbbed even harder and grew increasingly stronger. Every heave felt like a sword running through her, every gasp for air felt like a bullet shattering her insides. She couldn't breathe, but she couldn't stop crying, crying for the woman she once was who now lay broken, bruised, and battered on a prison cell floor of an alien's ship, a mere shell of who she used to be. Crying for the ones she had willingly left behind to save a mother and her child, to save the galaxy yet again. Crying for the one whose love she had denied for so long but only now just realized she needed to survive.
True, he had been a pain in the ass to begin with, and she hadn't really missed him at all when he had been "exiled" to Russia. But the minute he had left for Atlantis that one day, she had suddenly missed him, no matter how hard she had tried to deny and repress that longing. Something about how his lips always turned upward in that cocky grin of his, or how he always had a sarcastic comeback for every brilliant idea of hers had been alluring. Maybe it was because she had somehow always seen in his eyes a glint of something more hiding behind a wall he had so carefully constructed to hide himself from the rest of the world. The explorer in her had been curious, curious to uncover the man who lived in a shell, who kept on concealing himself from her and everyone else for a reason she didn't understand. Even when she had felt that she couldn't stand his presence any longer, some part of him had broken through that shell unexpectedly and had warmed her heart, inciting her to look into him further and find that man, the one who didn't want to be seen. Somehow, as the years had passed, he had slowly begun to emerge from his cocoon, blossoming into the man she had so diligently pondered over, the man who she somehow knew lived inside but had almost never seen. And she had suddenly begun to realize, as she had spent every waking day on Atlantis with him, that that diamond in the rough was the man she had, after searching endlessly to find what lay beneath...that that was the man she had inadvertently fallen in love with.
If only she had been brave enough to tell him.
Atlantis had changed him. And it had changed her. And it had changed the way they looked at each other. Whether they had noticed it or not, they had grown closer, and the bond that had been forged between them was too powerful now to be broken or to be denied. But now it was too late. Now he would never know that she knew that he hadn't just fancied her, but had loved her. Now he would never know that she didn't hate him, didn't just think of him as a colleague and friend, but loved him back.
Rodney, I'm so sorry, she thought in anguish, remembering all the times she had passed off his flirtatious behavior as just that and nothing more. She could see it now; he truly had loved her, but had never known how to show it. And she realized that now because she knew that she was just as inept at showing her love for certain people.
Her troubled thoughts were suddenly interrupted by that horrifying sound of drumming footsteps pounding their way to her cell. Instinctively, her stomach clenched and her mind shut down all thought processes, guarding itself from another painful intrusion. She balled up her hands into fists and tried to breathe easily despite the searing ache in her side. He was not going to hurt her anymore; she wasn't going to let him. She had fought relentlessly for weeks, and he had made her crumble to the ground in despair time and time again, but as long as her name was Samantha Carter, she wasn't going to give in to a man who was bent on destroying every living thing that stood in his way.
"Ah. I see you're awake. Did your last visitor treat you well?"
Sam rounded on him, shooting daggers with her icy glare. "Go to hell," she spat vehemently.
The wraith hybrid only let out a vicious cackle that echoed off the walls of the cell and into Sam's pained ears. "I believe I've already reached beyond that low," he chuckled menacingly. "Which is fortunate for me, since I've already achieved so much in my plan."
"You don't have the child," hissed Sam fiercely, part of her swelling in pride despite her agonizing pain. "And without him you can't win."
Michael's face suddenly tightened at Sam's statement, and his tone grew from mocking to chillingly threatening. "I will have him," he whispered maliciously, his lips curling in fury and obsession. "You can't stop me. I know he's coming for you. I won't need for you to tell me where Atlantis is now."
Sam's breath immediately caught in her throat.
Something in her face must have betrayed her fear and surprise, for Michael chuckled again, this time more loudly and ominously. "Yes, of course I know how you feel about him. And I know what you did last night. Do you underestimate my ability to probe your mind whenever I so wish?"
Sam gritted her teeth, biting back the fresh wave of tears that threatened to break past their threshold.
Michael's lips twisted into a satisfied grin as he saw the visible effect of his words on his victim. No, she wouldn't last much longer, although he did somewhat admire her untamable strength.
"You were a fool to think you could save them," he said, smiling in monstrous glee. "You are more vulnerable than you think you are. It was quite easy to uncover your hidden emotions."
Sam inwardly cursed him.
"All this endless torture—it isn't for nothing, you know. I knew you might be too resolved to tell me anything about Atlantis. But as for inadvertently betraying your feelings...that was another matter. If I couldn't get you to tell me Atlantis' current location, I could use your attachment to...certain people...to entice either you or them to come to me. To weaken your emotional stability made it easier for me to probe you and find what I needed. Luckily, I didn't need to send any forged distress message myself. You did it for me. The gaze of two lovers is a powerful thing, is it not?"
Sam made a noise in her throat as if to scream at him, but the pain in her side was too much for her to be able to say anything more.
Michael laughed again, thoroughly enjoying his victim's total helplessness. "Now he knows where you are. And he's going to come and get you. And this time, I'm going to get what I want."
Sam was powerless to say anything as he cackled yet again and spun around on his heel to pound away down the hall, his feet once again drumming a despairing funeral dirge.
She needed to warn him. But she didn't know if she could do it with Michael constantly watching her like a vulture eyeing its dying prey. But if she didn't...
If only she was strong enough to do something other than lie on the cold floor, helpless and unable to move, bleeding and possibly living the last few moments of her life.
Rodney...don't come. Not yet. Please.
Little did she know that her plea had come too late.
