Obsession
Chapter Four
Taichi's POV
I can't remember the last time things were as fucked up as they are now.
Daisuke is dead. That's the cold, hard fact of life right now, and nothing can change it. I know—I've spent the majority of the day on my laptop trying to find some way to raise the dead.
Surprisingly, I didn't find anything useful.
Mom and Dad are spending the night at the hospital with the Motomiya's. I guess Daisuke's dad will be released in a day or two, but my mother insisted on staying with them. My parents are helping to plan the funeral, too. It's a charitable thing to do, but God; it's Daisuke they're planning on cremating.
And then there's Hikari.
I have this—somewhat—irrational fear that I'm just going to make things worse if I try to do anything. I really don't understand her. I'm her brother and I should know how to fix things.
I tap my fingers against my knees to keep myself from thinking anymore. There's a gentle rapping on the door—a welcome salvation from the condemning thoughts racing in my mind. It isn't smart to leave me alone to think. I obsess and dwell and turn everything into what it shouldn't be.
Oh right, the door.
The buzzer at the base of the building is broken right now, so the landlord decided to leave the doors unlocked for an undetermined number of days. I'm guessing it'll be until he gets enough money to afford a mechanic. Oh, wait, that's never.
Finally pulling myself off of the couch, I walk over to the door and undo the locks. Matt's standing outside the door, hand raised to knock again.
"What brings you by?" I ask, stepping aside to let him in.
He shrugs lightly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I didn't feel like going home. I doubt Dad will be home anytime soon and I just…I don't know."
"Didn't want to sit alone with your thoughts?"
He nods, averting his gaze.
"I always told myself that one of these days I would really get to know Daisuke. He was my brother's best friend, the leader of the new Digidestined; he shared the symbol of Friendship with me. But now—I've run out of days to wait and all the chances are gone."
"If you knew him as well as I did then it wouldn't make you feel any better having that. It still wouldn't be enough. It's still a part of yourself that was given to Daisuke and that's gone now that he's gone."
I stop, realizing that I probably don't make any sense at all. I'm no good at deep contemplation.
"Where is everyone?" Matt asks, noticing the stillness of the usually lively apartment.
"Mom and Dad are staying with the Motomiya's and Hikari is watching The Mummy."
"Why that movie?"
"It was Daisuke's favorite. I'd guestimate that she'll be restarting it for the fourth time any minute now. She's been watching it since we got home." I sigh deeply, running a hand through my dark hair. My eyes dart around the room, settling on the couch, where I decide to return to.
"How is she?"
I shrug, collapsing on the couch. "I honestly don't know. She insists on locking up her emotions, and she won't talk to me. I was kind of hoping Takeru would drop by, or maybe Miyako, they seem to understand her better than I do."
"You don't try hard enough."
"Excuse me?"
"You don't try hard enough," he repeats, in an obnoxiously slow drawl.
"What the fuck do you know about it? I've been here, I always try. I'm not the one who ran away to America to escape my family, I've stayed through the good and the bad, so don't you dare tell me I don't try hard enough!"
"Don't turn this around on me," he threatens softly. I've hit a nerve, I know, but I'm too pissed off to care.
Matt disappears around the corner, and down the hall. There's silence for a few seconds, then a disgruntled "Hey!" from an angry Hikari.
He returns holding a video tape, giving me one of his infamous half-angry half-cocky smirks. Hikari is right behind him, her pale pink quilt draped over her shoulders and clenched together in her fist in front of her heart.
"Give me my movie back, Yamato."
Her voice is weak and cracked, almost to the point where it is inaudible. It looks like she ran out of tears from the look of her eyes.
"The television in here is bigger and we can all enjoy the movie together," Matt replies as he pushes the tape into the VCR. He settles down on the couch and pats the cushion between us.
Hikari pouts slightly in submission and moves toward the space designated for her to sit. She looks so miserable—it's absolutely heartbreaking.
I hate him sometimes. I watch as Hikari slowly lowers her head against Matt's shoulder, half asleep already. I am happy that she's responding to him, really I am, it's just that I tried sixteen times to get her out of her room to no avail, and in struts Matt and she's leaning on him in a matter of seconds.
I just wish she would let me in. I wish she would let me comfort her rather than keep everything bottled up.
"This isn't even dubbed," Matt complains as soon as he finishes fast-forwarding through the previews.
"You lived in America for two years, this shouldn't be too complicated for you," I say, sounding a little bitter.
"No, but I'd rather watch it in Japanese. How do you even understand it?"
"Hikari and Daisuke translated it last summer. It took them three days, but they both have it pretty much memorized in both English and Japanese. Of course, Daisuke had to translate it for me."
"Why?" Matt asks Hikari.
"Daisuke thought it was a good idea. Besides, it gave us something to do."
My cell phone goes off and Matt puts the movie on pause so I can answer it. I'm not really in the mood to speak with anyone but Sora or my parents, and I don't recognize the number. But both Matt and Hikari are watching me now, so I flip open my phone.
"Yeah," I say.
"Taichi, it's Takeru. Sorry to bother you, but Hikari's cell phone is off and she has an away message up on the computer. I was just wondering how she is."
"How do you think she is? Honestly, Takeru—," I stop, feeling Hikari's eyes narrowed at me. She probably wouldn't appreciate me acting like an ass to her best friend, especially when he's just concerned about her. "Uh, I'll have her call you later, we just started a movie. I'll let her know you were asking for her," I ramble quickly and hang up.
Hikari's brows are knitted in soft disappointment.
"I could have spoken to him," she chides in a whisper.
"If you could speak, I would have let you. Besides, if you really wanted to talk to him, your phone wouldn't be off."
She doesn't respond so Matt puts the movie back on. Hikari leans back into Matt, pulling her quilt tighter around her body. Matt rubs her back for a few minutes, until she falls asleep.
I guess I can't be that angry; at least Hikari is responding to someone. I'd rather it not be Matt, but what can I do?
Okay, so this isn't really a full chapter, but it seemed like the appropriate place to cut it off.
Sorry, I meant to update sooner, but I've been pretty busy. We started winterguard early and dance classes have been extended to three hours.
I'm taking Forensic Science this year, so expect little tidbits from it in this and probably Adeliea. I'm learning cool stuff like what happens to bodies after people die.
I'm almost done rambling; the next person will die in Chapter Seven or so.
What do I update next?
