Arizona's Point Of View
That kiss felt like heaven. Arizona was in heaven. Callie was with this sweet person, this amazing person, how come she never met her? She was so gently in every move. Callie started to lay in the couch slowly, ending with Arizona laying over her. They were so sweet now. Arizona grabbed Callie's hand and started to caress it. "I could stay here forever." Did I just say that? Well, I would stay here forever. I can trust her. Callie, I can trust her. Than I gave Callie a little kiss on her hand. I couldn't see Callie's face, because I wasn't looking at her, I was on top of her, but I knew she smiled, her body smiled, because she didn't move her hand, she just grabbed my other hand with hers and kissed it too. I want to talk to her. I saw her there! I saw her on the clinic. I shouldn't have hid. But I didn't know her, I didn't know Callie, I didn't want people from the hospital to know that I am… that I go there. That I need to. But I guess she wouldn't want it either, why would she go there? Did she see me there? I've been so selfish, she has been so kind to me and I only took advantage of it, what if she has worse problems than mine? Oh My God, I'm a terrible person! I have to thank her in some way! I need Callie to see that I care, because I really feel that I can trust her. I know she will never let me down. How could I know that after one day with her? Is it because she was the only one that helped me when no one cared? Is it because she made me forget about everything when I was with her? It's about everything. I'm feeling so much feelings about this girl! I have to know her problems, I want to help her. I don't want to have reasons to cry, I want to have reasons to smile. She needs help too, otherwise she wouldn't go to the clinic. But from what I saw before I got caught by the nurse, she's regular, her file was red… that's not good. If I am like I am, and I'm yellow… I need to meet her, I need to stay with her! My heart just stopped. Callie hugged me so tight that my heart stopped. She makes me feel safe. I need to make her feel safe. I turned around, looking into her beautiful eyes. They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity. Arizona's mind stopped thinking. I was approaching my face to hers, I looked into her eyes once again, than closed mine. That kiss felt like heaven. Her mouth was so soft, when she kissed me back I turned it into a passionate kiss, a beautiful moment. I hold her face with my hands. I opened my eyes, she was beautiful, she really was. Callie was taken by Arizona, trusting her. I feel safe here. I feel safe with her.
"Let's do it, than." Callie said. What was Callie talking about? Let's do it? "Stay here, forever." Did Callie just say that? Let's stay here forever. I couldn't ask for more.
The beautiful blond was in heaven. So was Callie.
Arizona was trusting Callie more and more, as the time passed by. But… can I tell her my story now? Of course not! I would ruin this moment. This perfect moment. I'm falling for her. Is Callie too? I saw her on the clinic, but she was so strong. She was being so strong now. Is she being strong for me? Callie really was, but she didn't know that, yet. "I like you, Calliope Torres." That slipped out of her mouth, she didn't wanted to say that like… like she did! Did Callie hear it? Callie didn't answer. She's probably sleeping now. I didn't move, it feels so good lay down with Callie, it's so good, being here with her, she's holding me and I'm holding her. She wasn't sure of what was happening, what she knew was that she had met the most wonderful human being of all times and that she really wanted to see her again.
"AAAAAAHHHHHH" "AAAAAAHHHHHH" Arizona woke up with Callie's screams. She was sleeping! She was sleeping and screaming! And there are tears falling from her face! She was living that nightmare like it was reality. What could be happening to her? What could she have in her mind, what could she be dreaming? Callie must have a lot on her head! I was so selfish today. I can't even sleep now..Arizona didn't sleep at all that night, she had to check on Callie. She was worried now. Callie kept sleeping but her night… she was so disturbed. The rest of the night was spent with Arizona looking at Callie, realizing how beautiful she was.
As the sun was rising, Arizona woke up. She went to make breakfast to Callie. She felt the need to thank her for everything. Her day had been so bad and she had really helped her. She made pancakes and putted on ice cream, well… not the best thing to eat in the morning, but it was great. She grabbed a tray and managed a beautiful tray with that breakfast she made her… her what? Her friend? Yes, her friend.
"Good morning, gorgeous." Arizona said with a soft voice, waking Callie up.
"Hum, good morning beautiful." Callie said. She gave Arizona a big smile, she was kind of happy, the first think she saw in the morning was Arizona's face! "You made me pancakes?"
"Yes I did. You deserve." Should I mention what happened tonight? Should I tell her that she suffers while she's sleeping? Should I tell her… everything?
"Did you stay here all night?" Callie was thinking now, she knew how her sleep was.
"Yes, I did. Why?" Does she know? Does Callie know how she sleeps? I really should talk to her, but… we only have some minutes left, I know. She has to work. Callie wasn't speaking. "You should eat! You have to go to work in a few minutes, you know…"
"What? Really? I totally forgot." She was so embarrassed now.
"Yes, it's Friday yet. I chose your clothes, if you want to use."
"I'm so thankful! Let's eat!" Callie started to eat and moaned about it. "It's good!"
She likes my food, that's good, at least I didn't make anything terrible. Well, she has to go to work and… what am I going to do with my life? I have no job, no one will accept me, I know. And I have no place to live, at least for a few months. I. I. and i. I need to think about Her too. I can't be selfish anymore. I want to stay with Callie. She's getting dressed now. I can go with her till the hospital, right? But… what will she think? No, I can't go. I'm a jerk.
"I love the clothes you chose Arizona." She smiled. Callie was thinking now, what would that mean?
"I'm glad!"
"I know you can't go home, right? You can stay here. I work until 5 or 6."
Arizona was flipping out now. Of course I can stay! FOREVER if you want. I stay! I will stay and stay and never leave! "I don't know, you wouldn't mind?" She wants me to stay!
"Of course not. But I have to go now. See you later!" Callie gave Arizona a little kiss on the cheek.
As the door closed behind Callie, Arizona started to dance. Callie wants me. Callie needs me… I hope. I want Callie. I need Callie… for sure. What am I going to do now? I have the day to do whatever I want now. This sucks.
What if my dad wasn't a marine? What if I hadn't gone through everything I've been trough, what if I wasn't a doctor? What if I had never gone to therapy? I wouldn't have meet Callie. I wouldn't have reasons to think. I wouldn't have reasons to try to Stay Strong. I wouldn't have… What if? I'm thinking so much about Callie. I mean, how can a girl make so much impact on my life? Like this, like she did! I can't believe this. I'm falling for her, I'm falling for her so much. And she trusts me! She wouldn't let me stay in her apartment if she didn't trust me. Arizona started to walk around the house. She stopped by the phone and saw Callie and Mark's numbers written on it. She texted Callie
Have a great day. Everything will be great at the end of it.
You're Great. See you later,
Arizona.
As she pressed send, Arizona set on the couch waiting for a reply. She fell asleep.
"Baby, wake up. Arizona, let's eat." Callie said. The first thing I saw when I woke up was Callie's face. Is it dinner time already? Did I sleep all day long? I haven't slept for days, so that's kind of normal. But… it's terrible. I'm not home. My home.
"I'm so sorry! I fell asleep."
"No problem. Let's go to a restaurant. I don't want to make dinner today."
"Can we go take a walk first?"
"Of course we can." I grabbed my phone to see what time it was, 7p.m! I slept so much! And I had a text, from Callie. The text I fell asleep on. I will now. You're not great, you're awesome. Xoxo Callie. She was so sweet.
We left the apartment to go for a walk, as said. Now is the moment. The moment to talk with Callie, to show her I trust her.
"I asked for a time out today, at the hospital, you know." Callie said.
"You did? Really? That's… I don't know what to say." It's now! She asked for a time out, that means she can't work right now… "You know, Callie… I saw you."
"You saw me?"
"Yes, at the clinic. I saw you there." Arizona started. She was so scared. "But I was a coward and I hid. I hid from you, because I didn't want people to know that I need to go there. I was a total jerk and I am. And I should have talked to you. I'm so-"
"You don't need to be sorry. I understand you, I didn't want people to know it either. But you, I want you to know. And I want you to trust me. I trust you. I knew you were there that day because I saw your name before mine. I asked the nurse to see your file, I saw your evaluation. That is what being coward is. I saw what I shouldn't. It's not my life and I can't do that. I'm really sorry. I swear I only red that, I didn't want to read the rest. It's your life. But when I saw you at the hospital crying… my heart stopped. It broke my heart. To think that you were like me. That beautiful doctor I stared at, that beautiful doctor who has friends, who is gorgeous, with that beautiful smile, also suffers. Suffers like I suffer. I'm so sorry, Arizona." Callie interrupted Arizona. They stopped now, in the middle of the street, in front of the river.
"It's okay, Calliope. I trust you. I will trust you. And I want you to trust me too. I was fired from the hospital, and now I won't be a doctor anymore, never. And you want to know why, right?"
Arizona started to cry. Callie hugged her so tight she couldn't let go. "I want to know why, and I know this is hard. I know this is really difficult, I know. I know it because I have a depression, I cry everyday. My days have no longer a reason. I have no reason to live. I've tried not to live, but I didn't succeed. I've tried to do so much. I've hurt myself in so many ways." Callie showed Arizona her both wrists. Arizona started to cry even more. "I keep doing that everyday. It hurts. I like the pain, I like the pain because it's the only thing I feel by the end of the day, it's really sad but it's true. My life sucks. My life is really sad. I went to the therapist for the first time last week. I swear that I don't know how he can help me. I'm hurt inside and out. I asked for a time off the hospital. How can I be a doctor like this? I can't. How can I say to other kids that they can't do something like this with scars on my wrists? How can I live like this? Arizona, trust me, please." Callie is crying! I am crying! We're both crying and… oh my god. Calliope is so hurt. But she was so strong with me! She was so damn strong with me! She was being strong for me! "One of the most scariest things in life is when you come to the realization that the only thing that can save you is yourself."
