CHAPTER 4
Title: Something Rhetorical
Summary: For truth, justice and nightmare free slumber. AU Shinji/Takako; set after The Kinky Music Party
Genre: Humor/General
Rating: T (for language)
00.
Takako Chigusa woke up at 5:43:16 am, JST.
She was very much happy to be alive.
She was very sleepy though, and mind you, fairytales were never her thing. But once and for all, the Almost-Sleeping Beauty hopped into the shower very much feeling giddy for her good morning kiss from the Prince who was waiting for her at the front of her castle—
Hot water splashed on her body and she was jolted fully awake.
--gate. House gate. Also, for the record, she was prettier and sexier than Sleeping Beauty. And prince, what prince?
What the fuck, fairytales were so overrated, bitches.
01.
Shuuya yawned. Whoever that person was, he clearly hated his life when he invented school. There would be no other explanation.
He rounded the corner towards the locker area and he yawned for the 27th time that morning—
---and then his mouth never closed.
Two figures, standing by the lockers, were caught in a heavy lip lock—the girl's hands were ruffling the boy's hair and the boy's hands were on the girl's waist. Lost in their own world their tongues battled with each other, oblivious to the staring that one Shuuya Nanahara made.
The boy's hand disappeared somewhere inside the girl's blouse and Shuuya felt his world spun 542.34 degrees. The girl let out a moan, egging her boyfriend to continue his exploration that rivaled that of Christopher Columbus' quest in his discovery of America.
Shuuya gulped.
The boy lifted the girl and the girl grunted. Their combined excitement of probably being discovered making out slash going there, here at the locker rooms where Shuuya was also currently rendered immobilized, in the early morning of a school day—it made the atmosphere hot, humid, let's take our clothes off that Shuuya forgot how to breathe (he was also still struggling to get out of his initial shock).
Then the bell rang.
Shuuya's eyes popped open at the alarm and he was immediately drawn back to reality. He cursed the cirrus clouds as the realization struck, oh crazy shrinking balls of cirrus clouds. Apparently, he had lost sight of Shinji and Takako—sighing at the lost opportunity, he unconsciously glanced sideways and saw a familiar hair streaked with orange appearing from behind. She was holding someone's hand, dropping it suddenly as she walked towards her locker; Shuuya's gaze followed her and he sighed again—
Wait, wait, wasn't that Takako Chigusa?
Shit, wait, did he just, JUST, encounter a paranormal activity? At one moment Takako was getting it hot and heavy (not in a wall though sadly) with Shinji and then she just passed me by?
Was that a…doodlegabber? Toodlegutter? Doorbellgrower, or something like that?
Oh fuck, what was that called again? Do, do, dopp, doppel—
"Boo."
And that was the last straw that propelled Shuuya to grab the title of the latest case of—Shaken Belly Syndrome? Shrinking Baby Syndrome? Shattered Beefy Syndrome or something like that.
Oh really fuck, what was that called again?
Shuuya groaned (most likely in fear). He was about to look for the source of the voice when for the second time that morning, he was drawn back to reality with a harsh tap on his head that he assumed to be from an Algebra book.
"Welcome back to Planet Earth, Shuu."
Shuuya craned his neck. Mim?
Wait, WAIT, WAIT what, wasn't that Mim a while ago doing a show too-late-for-the-morning-too-early-for-the-evening with Takako?
"…Mim?"
Shinji raised an eyebrow and a mocking laughter escaped his lips. "Who are you expecting, Shuu? Utsumi?"
A girl's giggle was heard around the corner.
Shuuya hung his head sideways and shrugged, his fear starting to subside. "I think that's too early for a morning joke."
Shinji pinched his cheeks a little hard, definitely noticing the blush that appeared on them. "Just wanted you to be all blooming and pretty for your Math class."
The rockstar shoved his friend's hand away from his red face. "When did you appear? No, scratch that, how did you appear?"
Shinji made a face. "Uhh…by walking?"
"But weren't you just there a while ago, frolicking with Takako? I just heard her moan, too," he looked around and spotted Takako, "didn't you just almost flabbergast her ovaries for horseplay?"
A girl's groan was heard around the corner.
"Frolicking? Flabbergast?" Shinji grabbed his friend's head and shook it a little too hard, "…what happened to you Shuu? You are starting to sound smart, 'tis creeping me out."
Shuuya shook his head, oblivious to the insult. "Nothin', just watched porn last night."
Obviously, his brains had not started to function yet.
The bell rang again signaling the start of the class. Sakura and boyfriend Kazuhiko passed past Shuuya and Shinji; Takako followed after them. Before the pretty girl walked ahead, she gave the duo of boy idiots a disapproving look.
Shinji chuckled from behind him. "Best of luck Shuu, try jumping or something, looks like your brain needed a twist and turn."
Shinji left towards the opposite direction. Shuuya walked towards his own class, bumping on an opened door; however he acted like he bumped on a stray marshmallow instead as he just continued walking.
Obviously, his brains had not started to function yet. If it did, he would have realized that it was not Shinji and Takako frolicking and flabbergasting ovaries but Sakura and Kazuhiko, and he also did not have a paranormal activity encounter—he was only hallucinating.
If it did, he would also have not missed whose hand Takako was holding when she appeared…and why Shinji was also there.
And lastly, if it did, he would have remembered the words doppelganger and Shaken Baby Syndrome.
But yeah, his brains had not started to function yet.
02.
Takako almost yelped at the sudden sight of Shuuya cosplaying a zombie beside her. She had no idea how he was able to catch up with her at his state.
She hesitated to tap him to bring him back to his senses when he suddenly spoke.
"What's up between you and Mim?"
Takako barely caught his words. Shuuya almost spoke it in a whisper, his head hung down. The sprinter briefly wondered if he was acting to gain her sympathy—making her answer the question then and there because it had been thrown back and forth between the four of them (her, Shuuya, Hiroki and fucktard) for the past few days.
But how can one answer a question that was somewhat rhetorical?
Takako pretended to mishear, again—like what she and Shinji had been doing to poor Hiroki and Shuuya in order to dodge THE question. In truth, it was not like they did not want to answer it (or probably really, they did not want to answer it)—it was just that they both, admittedly, did not know the answer themselves. Or not.
In fact, thinking about that shit of 'what was really up' never failed to give her off-the-Richter-scale-magnitude kind of migraines.
Like the one that she was just starting to have.
Takako thanked the gods she was born smart…and pretty and sexy and grade-A babe-ish but that was totally beside the point.
Pretension 101 starts now.
"Shuuya."
Before Shuuya raised his head to hear Takako's reply, he had a mental image of himself patting his own broad back for a job well done. Hiroki, for truth, justice and nightmare free slumber, this charade finally ends now with a bang.
He grinned behind his hair, raised his head and looked at Takako.
When she opened her mouth to answer, Shuuya imagined a heavy drag as if life suddenly decided to play in slow motion—I'm coming, he could almost reach THE ANSWER, comiiiing (uhh, this sounds wrong)—
"Not interested."
Huh? Whatthemotherfuck?
Let us all clap our hands for Shuuya Nanahara, finally he is now fully awake, he could hear his own medulla oblongata saying.
"…Huh?" asked Shuuya, confused out of his wits.
Takako looked at him with a—apologetic look? Shuuya wanted to rip his hair out and become bald. Why the hell was she looking apologetic?!
The pretty girl batted her eyelashes. "There is nothing between you and me, and there never will be."
After hearing what Takako said, Shuuya felt a little sorry for thinking badly of his hair enough to rip it to a thousand split middle and ends. He glared at Takako's ears instead and he could almost swear they glared at him back.
This girl was a freaking deaf demon that possessed Shinji Mimura, God help him!
Shuuya heaved a deep breath. He actually felt a little heroic at the thought that he wanted those ears out of Takako's body, because it would spare her (and others including him) a LOT of shitty troubles like the one he was facing now. He was sure his good ol' buddy Shinji would still think this girl was hot albeit psychotic, edible and fuckable despite the absence of ears so in fact, he was just doing everyone else a huuuuuuge favor.
He tried to become a little restrained. "You probably misheard me, Chigusa. Do you mean to imply that, God help me, I LIKE YOU?"
Takako stopped in her tracks. A hand automatically rested on her hip as she said, "Look, Nanahara, I don't even get where in the fucking universe you got the impression there is something between you and me—"
"—I SAID, BETWEEN YOU AND MIM—"
But then the classroom behind them erupted into chorus laughter and so;
"—exactly."
Shuuya wanted to die. Where the hell was the bloody Program when you needed it the most?!
"Let me repeat that, Miss Chigusa Takako. I believe," oh this restrain thing was a fucking tiring act, "that I asked you—did you just imply that I LIKE YOU?!!?!?"
Takako huffed. "Yes. Nanahara, I did hear you. Your voice is louder than a thousand wailing hyenas combined."
"BUT CHIGUSA—"
"Hush, you can stop proving my point and while you're at it, you can also stop hitting on me. I'm going now, okay? See you."
Takako started to walk again, but a hand shot from behind her and held her tight.
Shit, this scenario was looking too achingly familiar…
"Don't leave me, please."
Passersby started to stop walking.
Takako rolled her eyes. She wondered what Shuuya was playing at but he probably did not intend to say that and appear too dramatic.
" I just turned you down."
Shuuya held on to her still. "Is it me? Or is it you?"
But alas, get a grip folks, Shuuya only pondered if Takako misheard what he said or he suddenly developed dyslexia. Of course all biases aside, and he meant all biases aside, Takako just misheard him, that he believed.
"You, of course. My heart is a needle buried in a thousand haystacks, same cold shattering truth as finding Mimura's testicles offered to the gods because he pledged celibacy—
"You mean your heart is a haystack buried in a thousand needles because Mim—"
"—and just in case your brain started to fail, in simpler terms, you and me?—"
"—is totally blind after finding it. I mean, fuck whatever they say, but love sure proves to be blind—"
"—is impossible. I'm going now, okay? See you."
Takako made an effort to remove her hand from Shuuya's grasp, but the boy just held onto it tighter. He waited until the words sunk inside her head.
"What did you say?"
Bingo.
Takako cleared her throat but Shuuya eventually lost his chance to take advantage of Takako's momentary stun. Unknown to Shuuya though, Takako's brain was wheezing because of what he said and so that was actually a victory—but she showed nothing to indicate it—so it was a disguised one.
"For the last time, there is nothing between you and me. Deal with it and get the fuck off me, or your hand gets a free reflexology."
Takako found herself grinning. Shuuya instantly removed his hand. He perfectly knew what she meant with reflexology the Takako Chigusa way. He sighed.
For truth, justice and nightmare free slumber, let's look forward to the 28th time…
Shuuya stared at Takako's retreating form, accepting defeat. He wondered when this all would end, his obsession in finding the truth and Shinji and Takako's ways of twisting his obsessions for their entertainment.
But for now, Shuuya wanted to just finish this episode and make the passersby start walking again.
I mean, Merlin, gossip flies faster than the speed of light and I sure do not want to invoke, whattaword, Mim's wrath…assuming he'd go bloody war on me.
"Yes, yes, there is nothing between you and me, you are not my type," started Shuuya, making Takako stop with her back facing him mimicking a dramatic shot.
Also, a girl sighed in relief somewhere around the corner.
"I mean, you're hot and you're pretty, but yeah you're psychotic. I'm too good for you—maybe in another lifetime?" Shuuya finished with a grin.
Takako faced him, an apologetic look evident on her face. This time it looked sincere; Shuuya felt his hairs stand including his pubic hair (EEEEEW, a girl thought somewhere around the corner). Shuuya wondered what the hell she was sorry for though.
But inside, Takako did feel a little apologetic at Shuuya's (and Hiroki's) efforts for truth, justice and nightmare free slumber.
But then, she also wished she knew how to answer it. Really, really. If only she knew too—she kind of had a little idea but—fuck, migraine.
Since she was in a good mood (bets were from a good morning kiss), the runner decided to innocently throw him a bone (give the idiots a break, she and Shinji had been manipulating their friends a little too much too). At the look on his face, Takako remembered her puppy. So the bone, she wanted to see Shuuya eat it until he choked.
Oh well, too much for manipulating their friends…
She dismissed him with a wave of her hand and a few departing words.
"Good…"
Shuuya sprinted to join her again…
"…your best friend wouldn't have liked that."
…only to stop on his tracks.
Takako had rounded the corner to their classroom when Shuuya came back to planet Earth, for the third time.
"OI!!!! CHIGUSA OIIIIII!!! CHIGUSAAAAAAA!!!"
"Nanahara! No shouting in the corridors!"
Shuuya dodged an eraser flying on his direction and ran towards the classroom—fucking shit, he was late!
TBC
A/N: This chapter is longer than the last which is longer than the last last...and the next is also longer. I don't know why. So school starts tomorrow, and I've written the next chapter after this. Maybe later, I'd start on the next next one.
Thank you SkyLilies, for the feel-good awesometastic reviews and reading the manifesto--I hope you enjoyed! And oh, sad to say, in Uncle and St. Peter's Early Grey Tea, I'm beginning to believe Takako really really got mad at Shinji. Hmmmm. So no plans after? I guess. But you know them, they'll kiss and make up.
Myahra, thank you for the everlasting support; as for your question regarding my latest one-shot: HAHAHAHA, I don't know if I'd make a sequel to that. Try give me a prompt or an idea, and then maybe I'd make you one--but I'll just send it to you or something hee hee.
To the lovely imjuzakyd, you are the best;
To jenizaki, here's ShuuTaka for you? Kidding!
To lurkers (if there's one), drop me a review too? I'll love you forever!
And since I'm kind of sad that school starts tomorrow, I shall give you a preview for the next chapter that will be posted on: 14th of November (I'm guessing here, I might forget);
START SPOILER:
what's up between you and taka? (now you can't throw this back at me hehe)
…just like that.
Shinji snickered, feeling a little amused. He wrote his reply.
what's up between YOU and taka? (funny, looks like I just did)
END SPOILER
See you all on the 14th! Review review, sweet soul review!
