Chapter Four: Push You Out, Pull You Back
Shaking, I reached into my purse to pull the key to my room out. There were a million thoughts running through my head and my emotions were running on high. I had just spent the night with a guy I couldn't stand...a guy I didn't even really like. And then he had to go be all sweet and gentle this morning and make me breakfast to just confuse me even more.
What had I just gotten myself into?
I unlocked the door and wished I had knocked or something because I was not prepared to see what I walked in on. Rosalie was sitting on top of a naked Emmett and neither of them looked like they had any clothes on. Worst of all, they obviously hadn't heard me come in because they continued what they had been doing.
"Stop!" I pleaded and Rosalie stilled her movements. She craned her head and burst into laughed as she got off of Emmett and pulled the sheet over both of them.
"Sorry, Bella," She giggled. "Didn't see what time it was."
"Carry on," I breathed as I hurried to pull the door shut again. I practically ran down the hall, but then I remembered I was still dressed like I was going out. Not knowing where else to go, I desperately knocked on Abby's door, hoping I wasn't interrupting her as well.
"Hey," She smiled at me when she opened the door. She looked a hell of a lot better than I did and was envious that she was in her PJs. "What's up?"
"Rosalie and Emmett are still going at it," I explained. "I didn't know where else to go. Especially since I'm still dressed like this."
"Oh yeah," She smirked. "You went home with some guy last night. How was it? Were you safe?"
"Yeah, we were." I nodded, hoping I was right. There weren't any condom wrappers on the floor this morning, so I was pretty sure we hadn't used any. I mean, I was on the pill and I knew I was clean, but who knew where he'd been.
"Who was it?" She asked. "I mean, I was looking for you but the only guy I saw you talking to was Edward."
"It was Edward," There was no use trying to lie to her or hide his identity.
"You hate him."
"Well, I ended up in his bed..." I shrugged. "I sound like a slit."
"You're not a slut."
"What do I do, Abby?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, last night was incredible and when we woke up this morning...he was like a whole new person," I explained. "He made me waffles and let me use his shower and drove me home so I didn't have to do the walk of shame."
"That's more than any guy I've ever slept with has done," she smiled. "He sounds sweet, Bella."
"But he's not!"
"You ever think that he thinks the chase is half the fun," She smiled. "I mean if you don't want him right away, then he needs to chase after you to make you want him. I mean do you really think it was that random when you guys bumped into each other?"
"Yes," I lied. "And I'm not some prize to be won."
"I know," She nodded. "But, I still don't see the problem. So you slept with him. Big deal."
"But it was the way he acted this morning that made it confusing."
"Why? He was a one night stand. Night over. You never have to see him again."
"Yeah."
"Oh no."
"What?"
"You're one of those girls whose heart is in her vagina, aren't you?"
"I-"
"It isn't a bad thing," She made it seem like it was a bad thing. "It just means you need to be more careful, Bella."
"I don't usually sleep with random guys I pick up in bars," I explained. "And so what if I do think with my heart?"
"It means you're already attached to this guy you don't even like even though you were probably just sex to him."
"That's not true," I argued.
"How do you know? Did you exchange numbers?"
"No, but he's proven it isn't that hard to find me."
"I think it's a good idea for you to accept that this was probably just sex and just a one-time thing."
"You're right," I sighed. As good as last night was, it was just that. One night. He got what he wanted and I needed to move on. Plus, I didn't cross the ocean just to fall for some guy and not focus on school. Senior year was coming up which meant it was time for me to start looking into law school. Good law schools didn't care about the boyfriends you had. They cared about your grades.
I needed to focus. School was the reason I came to London. Edward was just a distraction.
Not surprisingly, I didn't see Edward at all the week following our night together. It was then that I realized what Abby had said was right. It made me feel like crap, but it also gave me the sense of clarity I needed. We were not in some happy relationship now and it was a one-time thing.
But, I was distracted because of it. It was hard to focus in my classes and it took me longer to finish my homework. I was also constantly on the lookout while I was out on campus because I just wanted him to show up. I really needed to get a grip. We were here in London for another few months and I would not let myself be this on edge for the next three months.
"Hot chef," Rosalie shrieked a week and a half after sleeping with him. We were heading back to our room after a coffee date with a few new friends we met when she gripped my arm. "Two o'clock."
"What are you talking..." She gripped my chin and forced my head to turn. When I focused my eyes, I noticed Edward was sitting on a bench with some random guy. "So?"
"What do you mean so?"
"Why should I care?"
"You slept together."
"So?"
"You told me yourself you don't need one night stands."
"Well, I was drunk and horny and that got the better of me that night," I shrugged, trying my hardest not to run over to him and jump him with everyone watching. "I'm over it."
"You're over-"
"Bella!" I heard him call as he stood up and jogged over to us.
Fabulous.
"Hi," I smiled awkwardly.
"Well I should be going," Rosalie said as she stepped in front of me. She better not. "Bye bye!"
"Rose!" I called after her but she practically sprinted away. I turned back to Edward who was smiling at me. He had a beautiful smile. "Hey,"
"How are you?" He asked, shoving his hands in his coat pocket. Good. This wasn't just hella awkward for me.
"Fine," I nodded. "Who's that?"
"Riley," He told me. "He's the one who works for the university."
"What exactly does he do?"
"He works with all of the student organizations," He explained. "He's their director."
"Oh...he's kind of young isn't he?"
"He's my age," He shrugged. "So yes. He is young."
"Yep," I sighed hoping I could just get out of here. "Well..."
"Sorry I haven't been around," He whispered. "There was a lot going on at the restaurant. Someone quit so everyone had to take up..."
"You don't have to make any excuses, Edward."
"Huh?"
"You aren't my boyfriend," I shrugged.
"Yeah, but we..."
"Slept together after we drunkenly left the bar together."
"Bella,"
"It's fine. I'm okay. It was just a one-time thing. Right?"
"I mean..."
"Plus," I cut him off. "I'm only here for the semester. It's not like anything could happen,"
"Right," He pursed his lips together. "Then I guess I'll see you around."
"I guess so," I nodded as I pushed passed him and fought the urge to cry. I had to brush him off before he got the chance to brush me off. That didn't make me feel any better, though and it almost made me feel worse than I already did.
"For the love of-" Rosalie trailed off. "Just go over there."
"What?" I asked, turning back to look at my friends who looked extremely annoyed with me. In their defense, they had every right to be annoyed. I'd been in a mood since Tuesday afternoon when I left Edward standing where they'd talked. I didn't want to be in this kind of bad mood, but she couldn't help it.
"Just go over there and talk to him," She pushed.
"It was a one-time thing, Rose," I reminded her.
"Yeah...so was Emmett," She whispered as she turned her head to watch Emmett as he got another round of drinks. She smiled and turned back to look at me, her cheeks pink.
"So you admit..."
"You know I don't want anyone else," She rolled her eyes. This was the first time Rosalie had actually admitted to me...and probably herself...that she was falling for Emmett. "He was supposed to be a one, maybe two-time thing and look at us now."
"Look at who now?" Emmett asked as he sat back down.
"Nothing, baby," Rosalie smiled at him. "You miss him."
"There's nothing to miss. We hardly know each other."
"And you won't get to know each other until you go over there and talk to him."
"Rose,"
"Bella, he has a friend who works at the university...but it isn't that small of a school. He was running into you on purpose. It was obvious."
"How do you know all this stuff?"
"I have a gift," She giggled. "But I'm serious. If you don't go over there and get yourself royally fucked again, I'm going to pick someone out for you to put you out of this mood."
"That would work so well," I rolled my eyes as I turned back to Edward who was now talking to some redhead. Typical. He knew I was here. He'd seen me when he walked in and now he was just rubbing it in her face. The redhead was probably some slut he was about to take home. I felt my blood begin to boil as my fists clenched together.
Without even thinking about it, I chugged the rest of my drink, stood up and walked over to him. I pushed the girl he was talking to aside and stood in front of him.
"Excuse me?!" The girl yelled as she put her hands on her hips.
"Fuck off," I snapped at her, turning back to Edward.
He gave me a confused look before I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him to me. I caught his mouth in a searing kiss and tightened my grip on his neck. A few seconds later, he tightly wrapped his hands around my waist and settled one hand on my ass.
"Hi," He panted when I pulled back. "What are you..."
"Take me home," I whispered, sending chills up his spine. "And fuck me senseless," He didn't waste any time. He paid for our drinks, helped me into my coat, and pulled me out of the bar. This place was a lot closer to his apartment so we ended up walking there, but there were people in the elevator with us again.
Once we were at his door, I started teasing him like I remembered doing the first time. When he finally opened the door, he scooped me into his arms and carried me to his bedroom. I was slightly upset that we weren't in the kitchen again...cause that was so fucking hot...but didn't have much time to be mad about it.
"You're so hot when you're jealous," He smirked as he pulled my sweater over my head.
"I'm not jealous," I lied through my teeth.
"Okay," He mumbled as I pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders. He so didn't believe me, but he had no reason to believe me. I couldn't care though because the only thing I could think of was having him inside of me. We pushed and tugged at each other's clothes until we were both completely naked.
"Wait," I panted as he was about to enter me. "Condom."
"Right," He nodded. We weren't safe the first time and I wasn't about to end up with some kind of STD.
"You're...clean right?" I asked because I needed to know. Why I hadn't thought to ask him about this before, I had no idea. But I needed some peace of mind.
"Yep," He nodded as he rolled the condom over his dick. He smiled at me as he fell on top of me and placed himself at my entrance. "Fuck," He moaned as he pushed slowly into me.
"God, Edward!" I cried as he moved painfully slow. "Just do it!"
"Do what?" He teased.
"Just fuck me! Don't tease."
"Your wish is my command," He smirked and he pounded into me so hard I was seeing stars.
"YES!" I yelled as I clawed at his back. He was so damn good at this I never wanted to stop. He stopped for a second so he could roll us over so I was on top now. I smiled down at him as I braced myself on his chest and began to move up and down.
"You're so sexy," He smiled as he reached up and grabbed my boobs. "I love watching your tits bouncing." I leaned down and caught his lips in a kiss as he thrust up, making direct contact with my clit.
"Yes, Edward! Fuck!" I called as he did it again and again until I felt my body start to shake. "I'm gonna..." I panted as I felt myself clamping down on him. He thrust up a few more times and then stilled inside of me. I fell lifelessly on top of him and he laughed as he lifted me up and then moved me to lie beside him.
"So good," I yawned as I cuddled up next to him. He gently caressed my naked back, sending goosebumps up and down my spine. "I wasn't jealous," I argued so he didn't think that this was going to happen again.
"Okay," He still didn't believe me, but I was too tired to care anymore. I felt my eyes becoming heavy as we laid there together. "Goodnight," I heard him whisper as I fell completely asleep.
The next morning, I woke up to an empty bed. I rolled over and found one of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of his boxers. I smiled at how thoughtful he was and ran to jump into the shower. Once I got out, I pulled my hair into a braid, got changed and went into the kitchen to see what he was up to.
"Morning," He smiled at me as he handed me a cup of coffee. "How'd you sleep?"
"Good," I sighed as I sat down at the island stool. I enjoyed my coffee as he worked at the stove. "Whatever you're cooking smells amazing."
"Bacon, red pepper and cheese omelets," He smiled. "With some hash browns on the side. If you don't like any of those things, I can make you something else."
"No, that sounds delicious," I smiled at him as I watched him cook. There was something really fascinating about watching a professional cook, even if he was making breakfast. "You don't do simple, do you?"
"Not when it comes to food," He said seriously. "Especially breakfast. I take breakfast very seriously."
"You're funny," I giggled stupidly. "Look..."
"You wanna talk," He sighed as he turned off the gas and put two omelets onto plates. He set the food down in front of me and took a seat.
"Yeah," I nodded. "I don't know how to do this."
"Do what?"
"One night stands."
"It's been two nights," He pointed out.
"Exactly. I need to focus on school, Edward. And I'm leaving London in May."
"I know."
"It just doesn't make sense for us to be involved."
"Bella, I'm not looking for a girlfriend," He shrugged so carefreely. Ouch. That hurt more than it should have. "You're great, but I'm not the boyfriend type."
"Oh,"
"Now I sound like the douchebag you think I am," He mumbled. "All I'm saying is...we can keep things super casual if you want."
"I don't know what I want," I admitted. "I've never been with a guy to just sleep together."
"It's up to you," He shrugged, taking a bite.
"You can't go sleeping with other girls," I spit out. "If we're going to do casual, it isn't going to be that casual."
"Okay," He agreed immediately.
"I don't even know if this is what I want," I told him.
"That's fine," He chuckled. "Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take a shower. Then I can take you home."
"Thanks," I smiled as he jumped off the stool and headed to his room to shower. "Good job, Bella. That wasn't embarrassing or awkward at all." I said to myself as I cleaned up our plates and what he'd used to make breakfast.
How was this even supposed to work? Was this some friends with benefits garbage Emily had talked about? It was something I never wanted for myself in a million years, but anything with Edward sounded better than nothing. I couldn't even believe what I was telling myself. Never had I been so desperate for a guy before. Not even Jake.
When he came out of the shower, he looked absolutely fuckable. He had jeans that were low on his hips, no shirt and his hair was soaked and tousled. He tilted his head at me when he caught me staring and I closed the gap between us and pushed him down onto his couch.
After rounds two and three, it was already close to one in the afternoon. Edward led me downstairs to his car and drove me back to my dorm. I did know that if we were going to be having sex at Edward place, I needed to start keeping underwear there. I couldn't keep stealing his boxers and other clothes. I made my way up to my room, put my ear to the door to make sure the coast was clear and unlocked my door. Rosalie was sitting at her desk with her glasses on when I walked in and surprisingly, Emmett wasn't in here with her.
"Hey," She said distractedly as I sat down on my bed. I knew she was just pretending to be involved in something and threw my brush at her. "Spill,"
"We're not dating," I blurted out. "But we aren't going to stop seeing each other. Or...we're not going to stop sleeping together."
"Oh, sexy friends with benefits," She smirked.
"Ugh, that term sounds so..."
"I had a friend with benefits," She mused. "He was so good in bed, but then he had to bring feelings into the mix. He ruined everything."
"Good. Thanks for the helpful advice."
"Whoa there," she laughed as she stopped me from leaving the room. "You'll be fine with this."
"What if Abby is right though?"
"Huh?" Right. She was with Emmett when we had that talk.
"What if my heart is in my vagina and I end up falling for him?" I asked as I started pacing the room. "Then I'm going to leave here with a broken heart because he either won't feel the same way or it'll just be time to go home. Home is in the US. This is his home, Rose. Things would never work out."
"Wow," She sighed with big eyes. "You talk very fast when you're stressed."
"Rosalie!"
"If this is stressing you out this much, maybe you shouldn't be involved with him."
"He's like a drug."
"Okay?"
"I can't get enough of him," I continued to pace. "I just left him like twenty minutes ago and I'm already thinking of the sleeping with him next. Oh God,"
"Bella, calm down."
"I can't!"
"You have to or I'm going to have to sedate you," She laughed. "It's just sex. If you make it simple and causal then it will be simple and casual."
"I'm new to this," I whispered as I pushed the hair out of my face. "Casual sex..."
"You've had one boyfriend, it's okay, Bella," She smiled as she sat down next to me. "It's okay that you've never just had casual sex."
"What if I fall for him?" I asked. "I can't...I don't want to go through heartbreak again."
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it."
"Yeah," I nodded, suddenly feeling very tired. "Thanks."
"For what?"
"For putting up with me," I shrugged. "And for giving me good advice."
"Hey, it's advice," She laughed. "I don't know if it's good or not."
"True," I nodded in agreement.
A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Someone was asking how long it would be until we saw Ryan again and I just wanted to clarify the majority of the story is going to be seeing them fall in love. The present with Ryan is important, but the story is called When We Were Young for a reason. See you next chapter!
