Goddess, she was so tired and her body ached all over. The last few days had seen some of the worst fighting since their days chasing after Saren and the geth. Liara shrugged out of her robe and tossed it on the couch as she made her way to the comfort of her bed. She crawled between the sheets with a contented sigh and snuggled into the pillows. If she was this tired after just one mission, she could only imagine just how exhausted Shepard and the others were after two weeks of back to back missions on Tuchanka. A smile played on her lips; she couldn't deny just how much it felt like old times, running through ancient ruins and accomplishing the impossible with Shepard and Garrus. To think they assisted with curing the genophage was remarkable.

As she began to drift toward slumber, Liara heard the doors to her quarters open, and knew from Glyph's greeting that it was Shepard. She was also the only person on the Normandy with unrestricted access to her room although the Commander usually came by for information during regular working hours. She could hear the Commander typing at a terminal and asking Glyph to find recent reports of Rachni sightings. Liara had the curtains to her private area closed so she could only hear bits and pieces of what Shepard was doing. When she heard the unmistakable sounds of Shepard trying to access her main terminal with Glyph's assistance she got out of bed and slid into her robe.

"Shepard?"

The Commander wore the soft N7 sweater jacket she favored when not on duty with a white t-shirt underneath and sweat pants. The expression on her face flashed between surprise and guilt and she took a few steps away from the computer.

"Sorry Liara, I didn't mean to wake you. I thought I'd be in and out."

Liara eyed Shepard suspiciously, "You're trying to hack into my network?"

Emerald eyes went wide. "No! No, no of course not… well… yes, but for an extremely important reason! Cross my heart."

Liara keyed in her passwords and looked at Shepard. In the dark, with the glow of the multiple monitor lights, she could see the droop in the lids of Shepard's eyes and the puffy skin underneath them. She looked worn and exhausted despite the small smile and light tone. They'd established something of a friendly nature between them since their last personal conversation and Shepard had given her much needed space. At this point Liara could give the Commander the information she needed and send her away or she could offer an olive branch in the rebuilding of their friendship.

"Why are you working so late, Shepard?" Liara asked.

"I just wanted to get a lead on the Rachni Queen." Shepard bowed her head slightly and slumped her shoulders, a few strands of dark hair flowed into her face. "I need to find her."

Liara knew that Shepard regretted freeing the Queen when they encountered the Rachni husks in the City of the Ancients. The incident had visibly shaken her for the remaining battles. "Shepard, you made the right choice at the time when you freed her. You couldn't have predicted the power and influence of the Reapers years ago. We barely even knew what the Reapers were then and they're still a mystery as we fight them in this war now."

Shepard scrubbed at her face before running her fingers through her hair. "I know. I just need to fix this … I know that the Reapers have her somewhere. She doesn't deserve to have the pain of her children taken from her again." The human began to pace back and forth.

Liara typed a few things before closing her terminal again. She then took Shepard by the wrist and led her to a pair of chairs she kept in the corner urging the Commander down into one while she took the other.

"Glyph will forward all relevant information to your private terminal." Liara looked into Shepard's emerald eyes and saw an emptiness she'd never seen before. "You want to kill her not save her." The words flowed out questioningly but they both knew it was a statement of fact.

Shepard turned her head away ashamed from the look in Liara's eyes, "I set her free… the deaths caused by her children are on my hands and so is her misery."

Liara sat back in her chair and brought her legs up and hugged them to her chest, she rested her chin on her knees, and her eyes looked over the Commander. Something was shifting within the Commander and it wasn't for the benefit of anyone. "We both know that's not true. Are you responsible for every organic unfortunate enough to be transformed by the Reapers, Shepard?"

She felt the heat in those emerald eyes as they snapped back to her. Then the anger was suddenly replaced with sadness. Fingers began to fiddle with the zipper on the sweater. "You think I'm turning back into a murderer?"

"Goddess no! I never said that."

Shepard stood and jammed her hands into the front pockets of her jacket. "I meant that as a question."

Liara released her legs but did not stand. Was this what was shifting in Shepard? She was comparing what she did as a Red to what she was doing now? Did she feel like she was killing people needlessly? Did she feel like only a tool?

"You've made a lot of decisions regarding billions of lives within the last year. Decisions one person should not have the burden of making and you don't have the luxury of time for finesse. I believe this war will bring out the darkness in all of us but I have faith that you will continue to do your best. That you won't let that darkness swallow you."

They sat in silence for a few seconds before Shepard spoke up again, her voice quiet, green eyes fixed to Liara's face. "I thought that you didn't love me anymore, had moved on after two years. That's why I did it."

"Shep-"

"Please, just hear me out and then you can say anything that you want without interruption from me." Shepard retook her seat in the chair next to her. "That's how I felt. It is immature and ridiculous now that I look back on it, but loneliness will make a person do questionable things." Shepard leaned forward and enveloped one of her hands in the warmth between her palms.

"I blamed you for everything, I was so angry… I honestly thought… actually, I still feel that I lost you to Feron. You were so determined to find him, so passionate about it… and the look on your face when we did find him. God, I wished that you would look at me like that." Her fingertips began to trace patterns on the back of Liara's hand as she spoke.

"Even if I have lost you to him, I should have never treated you like my prized toy that I didn't want to share," she tried to smile but it faltered. "If I love you the way I say I do… I would let you be happy…I would let you go." Those last words came out barely above a whisper. Shepard's eyes took on an uncharacteristic emotion that softened her entire demeanor. Her lips quirked up into a sad smile and she abruptly released Liara's hand.

Liara was stunned into silence. Seconds ticked by as Shepard waited, green eyes swirling with emotion, willing Liara to say something. She knew this was her chance to speak, but her mind felt bombarded with thoughts, too many to formulate into a response. Her mouth fell open as if words would flow out but eventually closed. Liara watched as Shepard leaned forward and planted a chaste kiss to her cheek before standing and walking out of the door. Perhaps it was the exhaustion taking effect but her reaction came minutes too late with her eyes still glued to the closed doors.

"But Feron isn't who I'm in love with…" she said into the darkness of her cabin.


Sorry for the delay! I wrote multiple versions of this chapter and couldn't decide which to pursue. I eventually completed this last night so forgive any mistakes and how short it is. Hopefully I won't be so indecisive in the future. By the way... Game of Thrones! Dragons! Yaaaay!