Disclaimer:
I don't own One Piece.
The story on hand, ‚Bitter lemon(s)' is fan-fiction. I wrote it, because I love to write, but I will not use 'Bitter lemon(s)' in any commercial way.
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Chapter4
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The archaeologist lay in her bed and thought about Nami's words.
Robin wondered how this could happen. She always had been the one who left these things as a one-night-stand. When navigator-san told her that nothing had happened, it should been all right for her. Just fun, nothing more... After all, it was HER principle to distance herself from her surroundings, even to the things she loved. She should be the one who should break Nami's heart, but in fact it was completely different now. The dark haired woman had felt painful sadness when Nami had told the rest of the crew that nothing had happened. Robin felt as if she had been betrayed and disowned.
And she didn't know why.
Robin sighed. Could it be that she had fallen in love? She shook her head intensively.
No! She was too experienced, too inured to fall in love after just one moment. She had always tried to keep the rest of the world out of her heart. In her life, Robin had built walls to protect her feelings and nobody should have been able to hurt her again. On the island of Ohara she had opened up to just a few friends and since this time she hadn't done this again. Why should she open her heart for Nami? Nami wasn't her friend, Nami was just somebody that she used to protect herself, just like Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp or Chopper… Yes, they didn't mean anything to her. They were pawns on her chessboard and Robin would sacrifice all of them for her purpose.
She stopped, shook her head.
No. The straw hat-pirates were different from other pirates. They were openhearted, full of dreams, full of honesty and full of true friendship... Everything would have been so much easier if they were ordinary vultures. Robin could have just used them without a guilty conscience.
And Nami… Nami cerainly was not a vulture, Nami was… Nami was… a friend? She didn't know. But Nami had been able to take down Robin's walls with just one simple smile. Friends did that. Friends didn't care about walls and shields and looked into the hearts of one another.
And always when friends had looked to her heart, they had tried to heal it.
Sometimes lovers had done the same. But lovers also hurt. Yes, almost all of the lovers in her life had hurt her. Nami had hurt her. Was Nami her lover or just a short pleasure? Robin didn't know. But even if she was her lover, she was different.
But if this was love, should she love? Robin just felt sadness and longing. Nami had brought down her walls, but in that moment when Nami told that they did nothing special she hadn't allowed Robin to follow her through the open door to the orange haired woman's heart. Nami had left her alone.
Again in Robin's life somebody left her alone.
For a short moment she felt tears in her eyes, but she swallowed them down immediately. She wouldn't cry! She was a bad girl and bad girls didn't cry.
Yes… she was bad. Nobody would love her and nobody should love her. She was mysterious, quiet and taciturn. Nami was a companion, nothing more. Perhaps the navigator would become her playmate, but she wouldn't allow her to go beyond her walls again…
A knock at the door woke Robin.
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-tbc-
