Shifting tides

Summary: Alex, and Sophia get ready to go home, and receive an unexpected phone call.

Warnings: Mentions of sex, nudity

Disclaimer: I do not own Last Exile, no money is being made of this use.


Chapter 4: Words

"I love you, Sophia"

Those had been the last words he had said to her before they had fallen asleep, curled up together in Alex's bed. She had wanted to hear them for so long, but thought it impossible. She had made her self content with just being by his side, but she had always hoped. Drinking in the new found affection, he offered as the pain of the past faded enough for him to thaw. Now, though he was pressed against her, and she could feel his breath against her skin, his hair tickling her bare breast as he shifted in his sleep to rest his head on her shoulder, she didn't want open her eyes for fear that last night had been a dream.

She wrapped her arms around Alex more firmly, pulling him closer as she let memories of the night before play through her mind.

They sat on the bed together. Sophia slowly pushed the long sleeved shirt Alex was wearing down off his shoulders. After letting it fall to the floor she traced her hand up his prosthetic to the harness, and looked him in the eyes silently asking permission. He nodded, and she pushed the straps down, after he pulled his arms free, she placed the prosthetic on the table. Turning back to him she took his right arm in her hands and kissed the faint surgical scar where his wrist used to be. "It doesn't bother you?" He asked softly, it was the first either of them had spoken since leaving the beach.

She looked up at him smiling, she shook her head. The loss of his hand, the scars, to her they were reminders of everything he had survived. Reminders that he had beyond all hope come back to her, even when he hadn't wanted to live. Looking at his face, she smiled again. "You look as nervous as I feel." Even in the darkened room she could see his face tinge red.

"Have you ever..."He started, then paused as if he wasn't sure how to continue.

"No." She confessed, blushing. "...Wait, you're not saying..."

"Only once. With Euris, right before the Grand Stream. There's never been anyone else,... until now." He said, caressing the side of her face. His hand slowly trailed down to the strap of her dress, and as he slowly pushed it off her shoulder she slipped the other strap off, before pulling him down for another kiss.

It was...Awkward. He was worried about hurting her, She was worried about him hurting himself. They both ended up laughing at themselves more than anyone probably should when sex is involved. And yet, it was still somehow perfect.

The flash of lightning brought her back to the present before she heard the thunder. Alex groaned a bit, and pressed his face against her, burying his nose into the space between her collar bone and neck. "Fia,..Wha time s'it?" He mumbled out sleepily.

Sophia finally opened her eyes and looked at the alarm clock on the table. "It's nearly noon. We slept in." Thunder crashed just out the window startling her a bit.

"Hmm, Sounds like a good day to just stay in bed." Alex said finally looking up. He smiled at her. "Morning."

Sophia smiled back, then looked at him thoughtfully. "Why now?" She asked quietly.

Alex rested his head on her shoulder, and was silent for a while. She waited patiently for him to speak again, and began slowly running a hand through his hair. She stopped when he took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "For the longest time, I was...afraid, of you, of the way you made me feel after being numb for so long. I was afraid of finding something to lose again. I convinced myself that if you were never 'mine' then I couldn't lose you. That I wouldn't be hurt when you were gone. Then you went back to the capital, and it still hurt...There are so many things I want to say to you.." He paused, sighing. "Everything sounds so stupid when I try...I... I don't know, why I keep surviving, But you are reason I can live again, and I don't want to run from that anymore."

Sophia felt the tears in her eyes, trail down to drop on the pillow, as she held him to her tightly. He returned her embrace, and she could feel his own tears dropping onto her skin. Outside rain began to fall. The storm continued throughout the day, and they spent most of it in bed, dozing, talking, making love. They finally fell back to sleep for the night around eleven. Some time during the night the storm died out, and Exile drifted off over the ocean.

The next day they began preparing for going back to the Silvana. Around noon, Wina called. Repairs, and installation were finished, and they would be there in two days at the most. When Sophia told Alex he smiled a bit, and nodded before turning back to packing. Vacation had been wonderful for many reasons, but they were ready to go home.

That evening after spending the rest of the day doing some last minute souvenir shopping, they returned to the hotel asking if there had been any messages for them. The girl named Grace handed Alex the phone with an irritated look on her face.

"Hello?...Vincent? How did you get this number?"

While Alex talked to Vincent, quickly becoming just as annoyed as Grace had been, Marcy leaned over the counter toward Sophia. "He's called like, fifteen times since you went out this afternoon." Sophia sighed, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Standing not far away Alex was still talking to Vincent, he was talking very quietly, but Sophia could tell whatever Vincent was saying was about to make Alex lose it. She walked over and grabbed the phone out of his hand. "Vincent?"

"And you'd better not,...Sophia? Are you ok? He's still taking his medication isn't he? Has he been drinking? Has he been acting weird? Do you need me to come get you?"

"Vincent!" Sophia finally shouted to get him to shut up. "There is nothing wrong. Everything is fine. We were both just a little burned out and needed some time off." She looked over at Alex who was sitting in one of the chairs in the lobby now, still looking like he wished he could strangle Vincent through the phone. "And you know he doesn't drink anymore." She hissed into the phone. "What did you say to him? He looks like he wants to kill you."

"...Er... I don't quite remember?...Shit, I did something stupid again didn't I?" Vincent said suddenly sounding rather meek over the phone.

"Yes you did." Sophia almost growled "And we were having such a wonderful time." She thought biting back a sigh.

"Sorry... Well um... Now that I know you're ok...er.. I guess I should let you go,...And make plans to hide till Alex doesn't want to kill me...Sorry, I ...it's just..I found out what happened from Wina, and I was worried...er...Could you not tell Wina I called? I promised not to call unless it was important."

Sophia rolled her eyes. "Good bye Vincent, I'll talk to you later."

"Sophia wait! I.." She didn't let him finish before hanging up. She shouldn't have done it, she knew that. Vincent cared for her, and only wanted to protect her. Right now however as she, and Alex returned to their room without a word between them she felt she could have happily strangled the man herself. When they got to the room, Alex collapsed onto the bed curling up on his side. She walked over to the bed and sat beside him gingerly. Before she could say anything, he sat up pulling her into his arms before flopping down on the bed again. He buried his face against her shoulder.

"I am not using you. I'm not confused. I know who you are, you're not Euris, you will never be Euris."

"Alex...Shhh..It's all right." She whispered, running her hand through his hair to comfort him. She knew about his lingering feelings of guilt. He'd been fine until now however, whatever Vincent had said had really gotten to him.

Alex continued as if he hadn't heard her. "Your eyes are green, your hair is longer, and a little darker, you're taller, you only need your glasses to read, but you like to wear them all the time. You hum to yourself when you think no one is around to hear you. When you're really upset, you bite your thumb nails. You're a lot more confident, and you aren't afraid to take charge, but you would much rather be out of the spotlight. You still love to read fairy tales, and you think you would die of embarrassment if anyone found out. You keep a box of mint chocolates hidden in the bottom, left drawer of your desk, I've stolen a few. You like perfume. Your favorite is apple blossom,...I always thought that was kind of funny, because you don't like apples very much..." Alex pressed himself closer to her. He'd calmed down now, his breathing more even and natural. "I still love Euris. I'll always love her, But I love you too, Sophia... I wish I could stop feeling like I'm doing something wrong."

Sophia held him tightly. She was aware, they were both aware that sometimes she knew Alex better than he knew himself. She had never realized however, how much he knew about her. It was embarrassing, and endearing at the same time. She had no idea what to say, so she just continued to hold him. After he had been quiet for a while she looked down at him. "How did you find out about the chocolates?"

"After you first joined the crew, I was trying to find out exactly what information you were sending your father. When we were docked, and you went out I would search your room." He answered quietly.

"I should be angry about that." She thought but she smiled and kissed his forehead. "Feeling better?"

He nodded again. He was more relaxed now, but was unwilling to let her go. She shifted to make herself more comfortable. Her anger at Vincent having faded now, she regretted having hung up on him like she had. The man was probably beating himself up over whatever it was he had said. Vincent was sometimes a bit over protective of her because of his feelings for her. She knew that, and just as Alex held guilt over his feeling that he was somehow betraying Euris, she had a sense of guilt over not being able to return any feelings beyond friendship, and sisterly love to a man so obviously devoted to her. She sometimes wondered what would have happened if things had been different, but she was never able to dwell on it for long the thought of losing Alex left a cold ache in her chest.

After a while they were still lying there together, knowing they weren't likely to get any sleep tonight. Sophia was surprised when Alex suddenly sat up. "Alex?"

"I want to do something to prove this won't end when we go back to the Silvana." Alex said getting up.

Sighing Sophia got up and walked over to him taking his hands in hers. "You don't have to do anything." She said smiling as she reached up and brushed some hair out of his face. "Besides marrying me, or whatever you're planing because you are angry with Vincent isn't the best way to do things." She continued smiling as she cupped her hand against his cheek. He smiled back.

He smiled back. "You're right. It's not just that though. I've spent so much of my life chasing after revenge, and death, and running from the things I should have embraced. Part of me is still so afraid I'm going to lose everything again."

Sophia took his hands and pulled him back to the bed. "Lets try and get some sleep. We'll talk about it tomorrow."


Authors notes: I had so many problems with this chapter...