CHAPTER 4
I don't own Vampire Knight or its characters.
"Send your messenger"
The second I entered my room, I walked towards the couch. Not to sit on, but to flip over. I grabbed the bottom edge or the soft material and threw it towards the opposite wall. Wood hit wood with a loud 'bang', but I didn't care if anyone heard. I was furious with myself and hated the feelings I succumbed to. I was so close to walking out! So close. I thought I was stronger than this!
Suddenly, I felt it. I touched my chest and when I brought it back up, I noticed some blood. Great. I had reopened my wound. Feeling the pain grow, I moved towards my bed and knelt beside it. Clutching the sheets on the side of the bed frame, I tried to wait out the wave. My teeth clenched as I soon became acquainted again with the pain I originally experienced.
Suddenly, I felt a soothing hand on my back.
"Sit against the bed and I'll reclose your wound."
Having no choice but to comply, I turned around and sat down. Grabbing some materials from the nightstand, she kneeled before me. How was I supposed to be strong when I was pathetically at her mercy? Here, with beads of sweat running down my face, I observed her concentrate on the task of stopping my pain.
"This will hurt a bit, but I promise to be quick."
As she worked with the needle in her hand, I looked towards the couch and felt even more pathetic. I ruin her furniture and she still tries to help me…
Looking back to her, I couldn't stop taking in her features from this distance. I could see the familiar characteristics that I learned to memorize and love. Even though I knew she felt my gaze, she continued her work.
"I would make you pay for my broken couch, but I never really liked it anyway." She laughed lightly and finished tying the thread together.
Giving no response, I got on my feet. I still felt a little ashamed for how she had seen me act. Was I being ungrateful?
"Oh!" Reaching in her pocket, she brought out a folded piece of paper and a pen.
"Can you write your report on this so I can give it to my messenger?"
I grabbed the writing materials and sat on the bed.
"Who exactly is your messenger?"
THE FOLLOWING MORNING:
"I still don't know why I have to be the one to go!"
A slight tremor moved through the floor as I descended the stairs toward the screeching noise of the only one who could make such a high-pitched sound.
"Because there's no one else who can, Aidou. This really needs to get to the Association." Yuki reasoned as she stood before the blonde haired man aggressively shaking his head.
"Hold on. What about Takuma, Akatsuki, and the others? They're leaving today so why can't they deliver it!?"
Suddenly appearing conveniently in the hallway with their luggage in hand were the ones just mentioned. Putting his suitcase down by his feet, Takuma walked towards Yuki and Aidou while buttoning his coat.
"Well, technically, we're traveling in a different direction from the Association and we don't really have time to make a detour with our families requiring us back home. Although, I think we can at least give you a ride half of the way."
Aidou looked at the other nobles for any kind of support but hung his head in defeat.
"Wait, Yuki." Ruka said. "You'll be here all alone if Aidou is gone."
"That's right! I can't possibly leave you by yourself." Aidou interjected.
"I won't be alone. Zero will be with me." Gesturing behind her where I stood near the staircase, all eyes shifted to me as if they just noticed that I had been there the entire time. Suddenly, I too had realized something.
I'll be alone with Yuki…
Ruka stepped closer to Yuki and whispered, "Lady Yuki, I don't think that's a good idea. He might take this chance to-"
"I'll be fine, Ruka. Thank you for your concern but this report desperately needs to get into the hunters' hands. Aidou is the only one who can go and I'll be fine."
Slightly astonished by Yuki's quick rebuttal, Ruka turned back and picked up her bag.
"Fine. Let's go, Akatsuki." Carrying some of Ruka's bags as well, Akatsuki followed Ruka to the door as Shiki and Rima accompanied.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Takuma asked gently.
"Yes. Thank you for coming here, Takuma. You really didn't have to." Yuki smiled and hugged Takuma goodbye.
"We'll be off then."
Takuma looked to me and nodded.
"Look out for Yuki please."
I nodded in response before he strolled to the door and waited for Aidou.
Before picking up his own things, Aidou was suddenly in front of me.
"If you do anything to Yuki while I'm gone, there will be hell to pay. And it won't only come from me, you know."
I knew who he was talking about, but I wasn't fazed by his threat. Returning his intense stare, I replied.
"You have nothing to worry about."
Satisfied with my answer, he collected his things. However, before making his leave, the blue-eyed noble turned.
"Oh. If anything…else…happens, it's behind the flower painting in the living room."
I tilted my head in confusion.
"Bloody Rose."
And with that, the tall door closed and echoed throughout the mansion as Yuki and I were officially alone.
Unsure of what to say, I felt as if the silence was slowly suffocating me. The girl before me fiddled with her fingers seemingly in the same predicament.
"Well…uh…would you like some breakfast? No one in this house is usually up when the sun is out, but they all needed to leave as soon as possible." Walking to where I guessed the kitchen was, she continued talking while I silently followed.
"Do you still keep the same sleeping schedule?"
Entering the kitchen, it was as big as I expected it to be. It was a combination of an older style with a hint of modernism that seemed to be added with time. Accompanied with shining appliances and countertops, I wondered if anyone had ever attempted to eat off of the floor.
"Sort of."
Within seconds, I could tell she was not familiar with anything in the kitchen. Opening random cabinets and drawers, Yuki was still unsuccessful at finding what she was looking for.
"Where are the bowls…"
"This is your kitchen. Shouldn't you know where your things are?"
Poking her head out from a cabinet, she gave me her well-known annoyed glare.
"You could help me look, you know."
Sighing, I began opening the drawers closest to me.
"I'm not usually in here. Aidou kind of forbade me from the kitchen."
"I don't blame him."
Before she could retort, I held up two bowls.
"There they are!" She grabbed them from me and placed them on the counter. This suddenly felt like the times we were back at the academy, rifling for food because we didn't want try a new breakfast dish the Chairman had cooked up. My thoughts fled when she announced that she had found the spoons.
"Unfortunately, we don't really have much food. It's difficult to go out and buy some since everyone is kind of…wondering where we are. We do have cereal though. This is one of the few times we have milk as well."
Retrieving the cereal and milk, she motioned for me to take a seat. She poured the cereal and continued talking.
"We used to have servants, but they started leaving little by little as things started to get more chaotic."
Picking up my spoon, I was uneasy being with her like this, so my mind started to drift.
It takes some time to get to the Association from here. Not knowing how fast Aidou would be traveling, it could take days for him to return. My wound will be healed eventually as well. How long will I have to stay here with her? How long can I continue to play along that we're still on good terms?
"Zero. Zero!"
Flinching away from her hand in my face, I looked down at my now empty bowl.
"What were you thinking about?"
I grabbed my bowl and stood up. "Nothing."
Before walking towards the sink, a pair of large curtains behind me caught my attention. A thin streak of morning sunlight broke through as I pushed the fabric aside. Moving the curtain a little further, a large glass door was revealed, leading to the patio and back yard of the mansion.
"I think the snow is starting to a melt a little. Maybe you will be able to see the garden from in here. I was told it's pretty big and beautiful, especially when the flowers are in bloom." The voice behind me said.
"You've never seen it?"
"N-Not really. Just from the window sometimes…"
Lowering my eyes, I noticed a thick wooden board across the expanse of the door and my eyebrows knit together in confusion.
"I'm…not really allowed to go outside."
Looking back, I waited for her to continue.
"Actually, I've spent most of my time downstairs, away from the windows. Kaname said it's for my safety." She casted her eyes downward and played with her spoon. I've seen that look enough times before and it struck me to my very core.
She wasn't happy…?
I was confused. All of the time I spent thinking about her after she had left the academy, I had imagined her living a happy, luxurious life with her "prince." I never thought she would be caged up like a bird. On that day, despite the revelation of her being a vampire all along, I let her go with him because I thought…it was for the best. He would give her everything she never had, things I couldn't give. He would be able to protect her from any harm, something I failed at too. But now she seems abandoned. Maybe if I knew…I…
I grabbed the wooden board and lifted it to the side of the door frame.
"Zero? What are you doing?"
Setting my bowl down, I took her arm and pulled her to the door.
"Wait! I'm not supposed to go out!"
Turning my head, I said,
"Kuran isn't here."
The moment I pushed her through the door, Yuki froze as her skin came in contact with the cold, fresh air. She stared down at the flats she had chosen to wear today and seemed to wonder if it was really alright to be outside. However, all tentative thoughts seemed to disappear when she turned back and gave me the biggest smile I have ever seen her give since I've been here.
"Come on, Zero!" Grabbing my hand, she pulled me into the melting snow with her. As she explored the ice covered garden and its furry inhabitants, I watched from a stone bench nearby. The air was slightly chilly, but seeing the joyful look on her face prevented me from wanting to go back inside. Unfazed by the wintry weather, Yuki walked back to me with a gray rabbit in her arms.
"Look what I found, Zero! Isn't he cute? Or she?"
Feeling the sides of my mouth rise slightly, I brushed the rabbit's back with my fingers. Placing the rabbit down, she sat beside me on the bench. My heart sped up at her closeness.
"This weather reminds me of Cross Academy. How are things there?"
"They're fine."
"How about Yori and the Chairman?"
"They're both fine. Yori always asks about you. The Chairman became the temporary President at the Association and my master took his place at the school."
"Wow. Seems like a lot has changed…"
The next inquiry didn't surprise me.
"How about you? How have you been this past year? Are you still a guardian?"
Thinking back to what it was like after she had left, I knew I couldn't tell her the truth. The past year had been one of the worst years of my life. Going through the motions each day, trying to fill up an empty hole that seemed like it could ever be full again. Sinking even lower by finding a new way to control my bloodlust.
"Everything's been fine. I don't do guardianship duties as much as before."
"Oh, why is that?"
"I don't live at the academy anymore. I go to school in the day and work for the Association at night."
Her eyes widened.
"Wh-When do you sleep!?"
Sleep only brought the nightmares…
"I find the time."
A few moments passed of us staring off into the trees. From the corner of my eye, I could see her biting her lip, deep in thought, most likely trying to think of another question. I was about to comment on how hard she was gnawing, but something else caught my attention. Her hand went to her throat and absentmindedly rubbed the base of smooth skin. My eyes reverted back to the scenery in fear of my thirst deciding to appear. However…I haven't been thirsty for a while. Taking another peak at her, she had her head turned away from me. Could it be that she's…thirsty? How has she dealt with her bloodlust since Kuran has been gone? Could Aidou be…? I inwardly shivered.
"So…does the Association still make you hunt Level E's?"
I knew this was just a way for her to continue conversing. It was a stupid question.
"Yes. After Kuran decided to go wipe out some purebloods, I've actually seen more Level E's surprisingly."
"Really?" Turning her body towards me, she continued. "Wouldn't that have the opposite effect? Less purebloods would mean less Level E's, right?"
"You would think so. The Association is investigating the surge."
"That must also be putting more pressure on the Chairman."
"There's something else that doesn't make sense. Recently, the Level E's I've encountered have been…different."
"Different how?" She leaned in.
"I'm not really sure. They're…more focused. Less reckless. They move with more than just lust as it seems. Almost with a goal in mind other than your blood. I don't understand it."
"Hm. That is a bit troubling." She reverted back to her original sitting position and put a finger to her chin.
A cold breeze surrounded me as the morning sun finally started to become irritating to my eyes.
"Zero? Um…how have you been getting blood?"
Damn.
I should have known that would come up.
It's true that I've been able to control my bloodlust ever since becoming one with my brother. Although, a vampire still needed blood… I wasn't sure if I would be able to tell her.
"I only desired your blood, Yuki."
Were those words I had spoken circulating through her mind at this moment? Those words that I said to her right before I…
She was still waiting patiently for me to answer, as if she could feel my reluctance. Should I tell her? No, I-I can't. It's…disgusting.
Suddenly, I felt something warm on the top of my hand. Looking down, I saw her hand on mine, encouraging me, saying it was okay.
I removed my hand from hers and abruptly stood. My heart was beating erratically and I felt a tingle in my throat. Looking down at her, dejection was written across her face.
"It doesn't matter." I said.
I walked towards the mansion and left her alone on the bench. As I entered the kitchen, I heard approaching footsteps from behind.
"Why are you being like this!?" She exclaimed as she shut the door. "Why can't you just talk to me?"
I halted at her words and turned slowly.
"No. You can't do that anymore."
"Do what?"
"Pretend that you care. You don't get to ask questions like that." My temper was steadily rising.
"I'm not pretending! Why would you say that?"
"Because you left!"
My fists were clenched and my eyes were fiery. She had no right! She chose to leave! She made her choice!
"…Zer-"
"Stop! I'm not going to keep on this act that everything is okay! You got everything you wanted so don't ask me questions like that!" The glass of the door behind her cracked from my intensity.
She came slightly closer. "That doesn't mean that I have no concern about you!"
"I don't want to hear that! I know that you remember everything about that day. Everything I said to you…"
I waited a moment, not wanting my voice to crack as I suspected it would.
"I…We're not friends anymore, Yuki. We're enemies."
Tears slowly rolled down her face.
"I know."
I cast my head downward, I couldn't look at her.
"Do you…still feel the way you did a year ago?"
A question I didn't expect…
Fingering the material of my shirt, I dared not stray my eyes from the floor. My chest felt tight and my breathing was getting heavier. I put my hand over my face and tried to dispel my muddled thoughts.
"If Aidou doesn't return in two days, I'm leaving."
Turning my body, I walked away.
This time, she didn't follow.
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