Regret

HPOV


She was flaoting. Literally.

After what happened in morning with Ron this morning, she went to sleep and we had to leave her alone. It was all so shocking, she was alive. I should be happy, but truth is that I don't know if I am. I don't know how I should feel. Draco is pretty much still shocked, he hadn't said a word after he recognized her... And Hermione, she is fighting with everybody. When we returned to Weasley's she tried to slap Ron, yelled on Percy and yelled some more on Ron.

I returned to asylum and this time I came alone. That is how I found her floating. She was asleep from what I could see her eyes closed, but her body was shaking, she was having a nightmare. Bad one, she was begging someone to stop hurting her, I found that very unlike Bella, then I realized she wasn't begging for her, but for her sister. Snape came earlier, he explained that sometimes she gets stuck in her own head and then she keeps reliving her worst memories.

"What happened to her?" I asked for cause, what made Bella this way.

"You still don't know?" I had no idea. " She was buried alive with bones of her sister, Riddle kept Bella alive, however she made sure Bella loses her mind in darkness."

When Snape left, his words were still fresh and they cut deeply in my memory. My wife was buried alive by nameless enemy I managed to fall in love with. When I was thinking about wife of my enemy, my wife was suffering. It felt so strange, Bella was my wife and I proposed her, married her, but she 'died' and I fell for her 'killer'. When we were in Godric's Hollow, standing before Arabella's grave, we were standing above ground were Bella was buried.

It made no sense. I saw Bella being pushed down from Astronomy tower, I saw her lifeless body and then I saw her body burn. Bella being alive made no sense, then again nothing ever made any sense. War was over, but news of missing and killed were still hitting from each side. Wizarding world is after killer they know nothing of and only person able to defeat her, refuses. Bella revealed having no intention of hunting Riddle down.

"Please..." I heard Bella say. "I will do anything, just don't... " Her sentence was cut of by screams.

I couldn't watch her suffer anymore so I entered glass room and tried to wake her up. She kept kicking and screaming. Those screams made my blood go cold, there was so much agony in them, desperation and need for something out of reach. I tried to lower her floating body, but that was like fighting against brick of wall. Every time I touched her body electricity shot through me and actually when I touched her I felt pain in my scar. My scar hadn't hurt since Voldemort...

Few more things, except for strong magic holding her up, I noticed black veins under her eyes and he body temperature was colder than normal. Then screams stopped and magic that was holding her up just pushed her down. If I didn't catch her she would end up on floor. Her eyes opened, they were pitch black, but after second they turned normal, although her eyes were gold instead of silver and her pupils were dilated. Then she looked at me and there was something in that look that reminded me on why I actually married her.

"Harry..." He voice startled me. This was the first time she locked me in the eyes and she even started to talk to me, she did none of this when others were around.

"Bella." I said her name and pulled her closer to me, she acted as if I was stranger, but I understood that this must be very strange for her.

"Can you please let go of me..." Voice of scared girl of bubblegum.

I did what she asked seeing that she was afraid. I placed her on bed, but there was something she reminded me of, that something being 'Arabella' of course. She used that voice to get what she wanted and now I see that Riddle was speaking truth when she said that Isabella and her are more alike then anybody would think. It made sense, they looked very alike, but Isabella wa good while other was not. Riddle is evil, evil I am drawn too, but I am drawn to Isabella too.

"Please talk to me..." I pleaded. She looked at me while biting her lip. I watched her intently.

"I don't know what to say." She admitted.

"It is okay..."

"Yes, it is..." She agreed, but somehow it sounded as we weren't talking about same thing.

"What is..?" She shifted on bed and made place for me to sit.

"I... I saw inside your head... I saw..." Her eyes found mine, they were saddened.

"Arabella." I said. She saw everything I thought about 'Arabella', she saw how I kissed her, she knows what my feelings for her are.

"That is not her name." She replied rather harshly. "I am sorry... I just, I don't want to stain memory of my sister with... That girl, woman... Demon, whatever she is, will never be anything alike real Arabella. My sister wouldn't be as cruel to fake her death and make me suffer... Out of two of us, she was the good one." She looked down, I realized she was ashamed. I tried to give some comfort to her, but when I touched her hand she flinched away.

"I am sorry..." She looked up as if she was asking me about what. "For falling in love with her." I imagined she would be pretty pissed, but no.

"I am not pissed." She replied and then realized that she heard it from inside my head. "I am sorry..." I nodded. "I am not angry with you Harry, I could never be angry with you..." That confused me.

"I don't..."

"Shhh... Don't you realize? To her everything is game, she is playing, but not with you, with me. She is set on making me see that I made mistake when I chose Draco above you, like I did with my sister... Harry, she is no different than me. That 'Arabella' never had intention of stealing life of my sister, she stole mine. She took the looks of my sister just because taking my form was out of question, but yet we look very alike. She took my name, my words, my past... She took everything and showed it in another light, that is why I am not mad on you."

"Still, I don't understand."

"Harry..."She took my hand. " She became me, but real me... Person I hid from others, she was cruel, manipulative and evil just like I am, except for she showed everything. When you fell in love with her, you actually fell in love with me over again." She cupped my face. "She showed my that I was wrong when I chose Draco, because... You, Harry, you could love me in any form, good or evil."

Love is love, I realized and everything Bella just said made total sense. The looks, the way she spoke, they way they walked, used magic... Everything fits, one copied characteristics of other and showed them in the other light. I just still couldn't believe that there is a single bone evil about Bella, but even Bella admits there is and then everything settles, Bella was never Draco's to love, Bella is mine to love because I can love every version of her. Good or bad.

"I love you." I surprised myself when I said it, but it wasn't a lie and from that moment I knew that I will never be able to lie to her.

"Then I guess, I am sorry for not loving you enough." I pulled her in my embrace then, she was tense, but eventually she relaxed into my touch. " You can divorce me, you are war hero and I am damaged, you will be better without me." I felt her breath on my neck.

"You are insane." She scowled. I pulled away and cupped her face. "You are insane if you think that I could survive another two years without you... But you are right, I am the war hero and I will do everything in my power to get you out of here." She frowned.

"I can't ask you to do that... I don't deserve you. Divorce me,but just let me keep the name, that will be enough. Then you can go on with your life and I get a guarantee that Slytherin bloodline will disappear."

"What are you implying?" I asked her.

"Slytherin name never did any good to anyone, William will remain Standstrong and if you refuse give me your name after divorce, I will take the name of family my family belongs truly... Grindewald, I expect people will look at me differently, but then again everybody always did." She offered me smile, I wondered where did she find the strength to think about everything...

"Because you are special." Voice came from outside glass room. It belonged to Ron who entered shortly after. "I have to admit, I expected that you at least have some shame, I was wrong." His eyes were cold as he stared at her.

"Ron what are you doing?" He was going to ruin everything.

"This is not your problem, Harry, walk away." It sounded as order which I disobeyed. "Fine or stay, I have no problem with doing this in front of you."

"I won't let you." I pulled out my wand, but he was faster, I was disarmed before even I griping it properly.

"You will must to." I stood in front of Bella, acting as shield.

"Harry... It is okay." Something in Bella's voice was alarming, when I face her that wasn't the only thing that was out of ordinary. Her eyes were surrounded with black veins. "It looks like Ronald is a lot smarter than I thought." She held her posture, she was cocky.

"What is going on?" I hated being clueless.

"You still don't get it?" Bella's arms wrapped around my waist. "Crazy boy."

Bitch.

"You weren't talking to Bella... You talked with Riddle possessing Bella's body." Ron explained.

"Riddle?" She asked. "That is how you call me now? I have to admit Ronald, I thought that at least you would call me by my name... Or Mistress, what suits you better." She grinned. Ron ignored her and turned to me.

"Never believe anything she says when her eyes are blue or gold, just black or silver." That is informative.

"That is how you separate us?" She asked, we didn't answer. " Okay, suits me... She shall have no eyes then." There was something very threatening in her voice.

"Why are you doing this?" Ron asked her.

"I am sorry for fooling you Harry." It actually sounded sincere. "But it needed to be done." She gave me a chaste kiss, I pushed her away immediately. "Well, then... Lets get to the business."

"Stop this!" Ron yelled at her.

"Don't be like this, I am only here to deliver a message." We waited for her to continue. "I want you too keep Hermione away from Isabella or..."

"Or what?"

"Ask Hermione how her parents are." She smiled wickedly.

"What did you do?!" Ron grabbed her by shoulders, but she disappeared from his arms and appeared behind him.

"Nothing... For now." Ron faced her. "But we both know I will so let me suggest something... You get Isabella out of here and I won't kill Hermione's parents."

"You can't do anything, you are just as weak as she is." Ron sounded pretty convinced in his words. I didn't know what to think so I stayed behind and kept silent. I figured, this two know everything that is going on and what is the better way of learning things if not from them?

"Please Ronald... People are dying everyday and whose hands do you think got dirty with all that blood...? You don't know? Oh, I do! I am partly werewolf, still witch, although I don't even need to be one. There are people out there willing to die for me, they fought in war for me, I can still do more than anyone before me ever could." Her eyes turned silver, but I was positive that this was still not Isabella.

"Not if somebody stops you and mark my words, I will." He pulled his sleeve up and pointed his finger at black circle. "I will find a way out of this."

She just smiled at him, then Isabella's body collapsed.


Slowly evening approached and Isabella finally regained her consciousness. It took her hours during which healers came in and out, Draco and Hermione arrived, Snape visited and so on. The point is that many people came to check on Isabella and left, but there was one person that stayed with her whole time, that person being Percy. He went in room and sat in chair next to her bed, he spent hours like that, sitting and staring at her in concern while holding her hand.

Ron disappeared for a while after Bella collapsed, he came in and out until he stayed and kept staring through glass. He was pissed off and Bella was more than likely the cause of it. He kept staring at her with murderous glare, still he seemed to be patient enough, Ron I knew would explode by now, but this Ron was waiting on Bella to wake up. Strange, strange how people change. Speaking of strange, Hermione and Draco were holding hands and they let go same second Bella woke...Yeah, why were they holding hands in first place?

"Percy?" Look on her face revealed how actually lost she was, completely out of everything. Percy didn't answer her at first, he cupped her face and stared in her eyes. I recognized what he was doing.

"Black."He checked her eye color. He let out deep breath and pulled Bella in his lap, hugging her to him. This interaction looked very strange to me and others, but only Ron did something. He emerged in room and ordered Percy out.

"I won't repeat myself, Percy. Get out!"

"Calm yourself brother." Percy warned, he still didn't let go of Bella. "You aren't thinking ..." Ron interrupted him.

"You are the one not thinking! Don't you see what she is doing to you?" He asked.

"Ron stop." Percy pleaded.

"She is making fool of you, just like she did with Victor... Guess I won't be surprised when someone finds you dead." Percy didn't reply, he didn't have to. Bella pulled away from him.

"Don't speak of things you don't understand, Ronald."

"Oh, but I understand. I understand everything you do Bella." He was using arrogant tone. I am not sure how that will help with Bella exactly.

"You know my secrets..." He nodded. "But not all of them." She said. "Two. And those two are preventing you from fully understanding me, Ron. So don't you ever dare to say you understand anything about me and don't say a word about Victor." Her voice was hard, it almost sounded threatening, but she wasn't in position to make threats.

"Still I have enough to destroy you." He was threatening her and she started laughing.

"You think that I can be destroyed? I was dead and came back over and over again for a year and half... I lost everything I had... Let me just ask you... Why? Why did my sister have to die? Why did Victor had to die? Why was I placed in orphanage? Why was I born as chosen one to two death eaters in the first place?" Room fell silent. "You can't destroy me because there is nothing left of me to destroy." Her gaze fell to floor, immediately Percy was by her side and Ron didn't exactly like that.

"Maybe you are right, but you still keep destroying everyone around you and I can't let you destroy my brother." Bella didn't look up, I think that she was actually ashamed.

"Then why are you here?" She moved away from both. Then she looked up, she was looking at Ron. "You are her man, loyal to her... Do you feel guilty for reaching you full potential on Dark side? Is that why you are here, so I can destroy you so you can feel better?"

"Is that why you didn't fight with her? You allowed her to win because you fell in love with dark side... She wasn't more powerful than you, no... You allowed her to kill you so your guilt for chosing Draco over your sister..."

"Shut up!" We were all surprised how loudly she screamed at him.

"Oh and not only that... I found letter he wrote to you, Bella, you regret choosing light side over dark side. Tom wanted you and he would give you anything just if you have said yes to darkness..." As Ron talked Bella began to shake with anger.

"Yes! Are you happy now?! I regret chosing all of you above myself! I would be happy if I said yes, I would have my family and my sister would be alive! She would be alive and I wouldn't be judged for anything I had every done because dark side would win with me on their side! Go ahead now lock me in the Azkaban, Merlin knows I deserve it for killing all those people."

Ron wasn't surprised with Bella's confession, nor was Percy...But I, Draco and Hermione surely were. Bella blamed us and that is why she can't look at us. I understand it now, every time she sees us, she is reminded if biggest mistake if her life, she chose us. She died for us, lost everything including her sanity because of us... And she realized that we weren't worth it because truly we are not. We were standing on her grave and didn't realize she was alive.

"I certainly would love to see you locked up in there but now I feel that your greatest punishment is to be right here... She rose me up, you rose me up, but I have someone who will bring you down."

"And who may that be?" She asked, her voice betrayed that she didn't really believe he had anything on her.

"Lets not ruin the surprise." Ron smiled. Draco glanced at me, I knew why. He was just like me wondering what that smile really meant. It was hint for something that was about to come crashing at Bella, but Bella when I looked at her didn't look worried. She probably didn't belive that he can bring her down. There was arrogance in air around her.

She just smiled.


Pretty long chapter, real plot starts in chapter or two...

Sorry for mistakes,

Wicked Daphne