Letters Chapter 4
Disclaim: I do not own Prince of Tennis…
Warnings: Angst, drama. Will be BL in the future.
11-2-11
Tezuka,
Oh Fuji…I-I can't believe it… I really don't know what to say to him… I feel terrible Tezuka. He told me he talked to you already, what did you say? He seems so calm about it… I can't image how. I don't think it has really hit Eiji yet, he probably doesn't even know what Leukemia is…but I'm kinda glad, he's a good support for Fuji right now. The last thing Fuji needs is everyone panicking…though I admit I nearly did. I've never known anyone with cancer before; he's going to be okay right?
With concern, Oishi Shuichiro.
Tezuka read the message waiting for him when he got home and was tremendously relieved by it. It seemed their reaction hadn't been as bad as he was expecting. And he was also extremely glad the ever cheerful Kikumaru would be there for Fuji, of anyone the acrobat knew how to make people forget their troubles and relax.
(11-8-11)
Finally, nearly a week later, there was a message from Fuji, and Tezuka haphazardly tossed his stuff down in favor of reading the letter.
11-8-11
Hey Tezuka, sorry I wanted to call but our schedules aren't very compatible and I have to get to bed early tonight. My mother returned home yesterday and finalized all the paperwork, I have to be admitted into the hospital for my first round of chemo tomorrow… They're making me take a leave of absence from school, though they didn't tell me how long, I have a bad feeling it's going to be awhile though… Everything is so formal… it's unnerving. I don't know what to expect tomorrow but the doctor told me the first session is generally the worst and so I admit I'm a bit nervous. I'll try to get a hold of you tomorrow, but for now good night, wish me luck, ne.
Fuji Syusuke
Tezuka's fingers flew over the keyboard as he typed his response, even though he knew the tensai had gone to bed hours ago and wouldn't get it until morning. He just had to wish the boy well as soon as possible. As he sent the message he couldn't help but reread the shorter boy's message with regret, wishing he could be standing by Fuji's side instead of staring at his words from thousands of miles away.
(11-9-11)
The next day no news came from Fuji. The day after that as well, Tezuka's inbox remained dreadfully void of any messages from his honey haired friend. Tezuka had a hard time keeping himself patient, it was strange, he had gone weeks in the past without a single word from Seigaku's genius, yet now he could hardly stand a day. He should have known Fuji wouldn't be able to message him while in the hospital. He may have known little about cancer treatments but what he had learned from a few quick internet searches, were far from comforting. Which only made him long for information all the more.
It wasn't until the third day without information that Tezuka received mail from an unlikely sender, Fuji Yuuta.
11-10-11
Tezuka-buchou,
Hello buchou, sorry for contacting you all of a sudden, it's weird, I know…Aniki made me promise to mail you guys, so... He told me to tell you that he's fine and not to worry. I don't really know if he's lying or not about that, my mother doesn't let me visit very long and he mostly just sleeps even when I'm there. Mom won't let him use his phone... That's why I have to do it. She's being really adamant that he gets as much rest as possible, so he can't talk to anyone. But he's being released tomorrow so he'll probably get a hold of something to reach you guys…Well have a good night.
Fuji Yuuta
Tezuka wrote the boy back a quick thank you for the information and well wishes for the younger Fuji to pass on to his brother. Silently he wondered what the younger boy was going through. Although it was in a different way from his brother, Fuji Yuuta was also a master at shoving his personal feelings to the side and masking his emotions. Especial regarding anything concern for his older brother. Tezuka let the thought drift away, the Fuji family was indeed a complex one, and he could easily spend the entire night pondering the thoughts behind their actions.
(11-12-11)
It was around ten thirty Saturday morning, after Tezuka had finished getting ready for the day where he had a friendly tennis match to look forward to, that he checked his phone to see a missed call from Fuji. Granted the call was only about a half an hour old, Tezuka hastily dialed his friend's number.
"…Hmmm? Tezuka, how pleasant," Fuji's low slightly raspy voice greeted dreamily. The strain and weariness had Tezuka wondering whether the boy was completely lucid or not, yet regardless he spoke.
"Fuji," he greeted, "How are you?"
There was a light huff from the other end then some muffled shuffling before Fuji's light tired words began again, "Oh, I really don't want to talk about that…but, I guess that's what Tezuka wants to hear, ne? To hear me talk…about things…" Fuji sounded as if any second the phone would slip from his hand and he would be asleep. Tezuka knew for sure that the boy wasn't nearly as coherent as he hoped. It was alarming to hear Fuji anything short of articulate, though if it was just fatigue bogging him down then Tezuka was extremely grateful. There could be far worst reactions. Still the former captain could only guess at Fuji's true state.
"Chemo's pretty terrible, ne…I'm just glad to be back home, but I'm so tired all I can do is sleep all the time…it's the worst." For what was neither the first nor probably the last, Tezuka wished this conversation was not over the phone. The ill tensai's voice was trembling and hardly above a whisper. Tezuka would do anything to be able to judge Fuji's condition person. To offer real comfort, that didn't require the strain this was obviously putting on the boy.
"Rest is good for your body, if you're tired you should sleep," Tezuka advised, it was a general statement that included this moment as well as the future. Somewhere in the back of his mind Tezuka wondered how many times the boy had probably already been told the same thing.
"That reminds me… I get two weeks of rest before my next treatment… I'm going to…" Fuji trailed off as if he lost his train of thought. "Um, oh, that will be restful, ne?" The boy's words were beginning to slur and it was becoming terrible obvious how disjointed his thoughts were, "Tez-ka, can you… lets…saaa…sorry…"
"Fuji are you okay?" Tezuka couldn't help but be worried by the tensai's sudden inability to articulate. True the boy could just be falling asleep but what if it was something more worrisome? There was a muffled noise from Fuji's side and Tezuka ventured to prompt the honey-haired boy again, "Fuji?"
"Tezuka-buchou?" Fuji's younger brother suddenly had the phone, "Sorry, stupid Aniki fell asleep…" the boy answered Tezuka's question, his hushed tone informing the former captain that he was all too conscious of his brother's need to rest.
"No it's fine. Just give him my regard when he gets up," the bespectacled boy announced, earning a quick affirmative from the boy before ending the call. As he slipped the phone back into his pocket a fresh wave of remorse passed thought him. Hopes that Fuji would somehow manage to be of the lucky few that did not experience the unfortunate side effects successfully dashed. He knew nothing. Nothing that could help Fuji at all. Never in his life had Tezuka Kunimitsu felt so utterly useless.
11-12-11
Tezuka,
Hey, how are you? I think everyone is still having a bit of trouble to adjusting to everything with Fuji. He was released from the hospital yesterday but we weren't allowed to see him… Yuuta told us their mom is being really careful, apparently the medicine Fuji has to take really lowers his immune system so they have to be cautious about germs and stuff. And the chemo really wears him out… I understand completely, of course, though I still wished we could have visited for a minute, just to make sure he's okay… Eiji's pretty upset; I think he's just realizing how serious Fuji's illness is. But the good news is Yuuta said that their mom will probably let up in a few days and we'll be able to see him, I'm sure he needs us as much as we need him.
Hopeful, Oishi Shuichiro.
(11-13-11)
Tezuka was just settling down for some water after a particularly long rally with a friend he met on the courts when he heard his cell phone buzzing from the pocket of his tennis bag. Fishing the device out he gestured to his opponent that he would be gone a moment before walking off the tennis court and putting the mobile to his ear.
"Fuji."
"I'm really sorry about yesterday. I totally fell asleep, I'm so embarrassed," the said boy started with a light chuckle. Already Tezuka could tell he was faring much better than yesterday. That was a tremendous relief.
"Don't worry about it," Tezuka supplied seriously. As long as Fuji was feeling better that was all that mattered.
"Let's hope that doesn't happen often, ne. To be honest I can't even remember what we talked about, I just vaguely remember you calling then I woke up this morning and Yuuta told me he had to hang up for me…" the boy spoke sheepishly. Knowing Fuji, as casual as he sounded about it now, having no control over his actions had probably greatly upset him.
"I don't mind, how are you feeling today?" Tezuka questioned purposefully staying away from their last conversation and the question of therapy, in a hope to keep the boy's seemingly good spirit up.
"Much better than yesterday that's for sure. I really wasn't expecting to be so drained, I think the stairs to my room almost did me in." At Tezuka disapproving silence Fuji quickly added, "That was a joke. Too soon?" and laughed. Tezuka just shook his head silently, as morbid as the statement was the bespectacled boy couldn't help but reveal in the fact the Fuji was feeling up too joking. That had to be a good sign.
"Sa, but my mom won't let me out of bed save to use the restroom, and she won't let anyone come over. It's so boring. I don't know what I'm going to do when Yuuta goes back to school. He offered to take the week off to stay with me, isn't that sweet!" Fuji gushed and Tezuka grunted signaling the other to continue, "But I told him to go back, there is no reason we should both get behind in our studies… Plus it's too weird having him fuss over me all the time. I can tell he's pretty freaked out about this whole thing…I think he's afraid to touch me, as if he were to get to close I'd break or something…" The tensai admitted dejectedly and Tezuka knew this was bothering the boy terribly, for of all the things he never wanted was to appear fragile in front of others, especially his younger brother.
"I think my mom is just making it worst, she's convince I'll die if I get a cold, and I'm pretty sure she's already sterilized the entire house like four times. I know they're just worried but I would feel better if they just acted normally." Fuji's words stirred something uneasy within Tezuka. The necessity of Fuji's mother's cleaning. The fact that something as minor as a cold really could be the limit of Fuji's body's ability to cope.
"They still need time to get used to it, it's a significant change. They are just trying to do what is best for you, so you should tell them how you feel." The dark haired boy suggested not surprised in the least by Fuji's mother's actions. Surely his would do the same. In fact he would probably do the same. Still Tezuka felt as if his words were insincere; he could easily say that everyone would get over it but he himself, as far removed as possible, wasn't even the slightest bit used to it. Though he still hoped Fuji would speak to his family on the matter, he at least knew that Fuji's wishes, on a reasonable level, were top priority.
"Yeah I guess… It's hard though, I'll probably just let them fuss for a little while. I'm sure they'll get it out of… their system..." Fuji's voice suddenly thinned out and Tezuka could hear the boy's breath grow sharper and irregular. Concern filled him immediately and he was just about to question when he heard Fuji mutter something incomprehensible under his breath. Then there was a thud, the patter of feet, the slam of a door, and finally silence. Tezuka didn't bother calling out this time for he knew Fuji was no longer on the other end, yet his mind was burning with wonder on what strange occurrence had interrupted the tensai, he obviously hadn't fallen asleep this time.
Nothing happen for a long while. Minutes seemed to drag on like hours as he waited, and after a while the former captain debated whether or not he should stay on the line for the azure eyed boy to return. He could hardly hang up without some type of reassurance, yet if this was serious then perhaps he needed to end the call and get Fuji's brother on the line to check on the tensai. Tezuka tried to calm himself. He didn't want to seem paranoid and there was a chance that Fuji would not enjoy his prying.
Glancing up looking for a distraction he found that his tennis opponent had conveniently found another player to fill his place. So he really didn't have to worry about time. With that thought in mind the former captain decided to wait out the antagonizing silence. Waiting either for Fuji to return or the call to be ended, whichever came first.
There was another good five or six minutes of silence before sound began to creep though the other line in the form of distant voices, "'Sorry Yuuta, thanks...' 'Want me to get you something to drink?' '…Just water please…'" It was easy to determine the speakers. There was light slow shuffling after that and he assumed Fuji had gotten back onto his bed. Finally Fuji's voice was directed to him once again, "Oh, Tezuka! Are you still there?" The bespectacled boy grunted in response and Fuji continued, "Wow…We can't seem to have a proper conversation can we?" The boy said lightly, yet there was neither mirth nor energy left in his voice, and he sounded decidedly more miserable then ten minutes ago.
"It's fine, are you okay?" Tezuka questioned with veiled concern, not wanting Fuji to clam up because he knew he was worried.
"Yeah, I'll be fine, don't ask for any details though. I just got a bit nauseous and it wasn't very pleasant..." Fuji remarked openly, surprising Tezuka with his honesty. In retrospect he had been expecting Fuji to hide much more of his illness but he actually seemed to be pretty free about it, unless these were just the things he couldn't hide. "…Tezuka I have to go. My mom's back… I'll talk to you later, okay?" For some reason Tezuka felt like Fuji was just making that excuse for his sake. He accepted either way, if Fuji didn't initiate the end of the call Tezuka would have. Despite the genius' attempt to keep the conversation upbeat his trampled tone betrayed his weakness. The bespectacled teenager bid Fuji goodbye before ending the call.
Once free Tezuka tried to get back into the game but simply couldn't keep his thoughts from wandering to how Fuji was doing. The phone was really a poor indication in every way.
"Yo! What's up Kunimitsu?" His opponent called when he allowed his service game to slip. It was very unlike him to allow distractions to affect his tennis. "Who were you talking to? Mom? She's not cutting your budget is she!" the tall light haired teenager joked casually as he lobbed the ball over the net.
"It was a friend," Tezuka reported concisely, still a bit caught off guard by the openness of westerners, but not wanting to be rude by ignoring the boy's question.
"Oh, that's rare I don't usually see you talking on the phone. Someone special?" The blonde pressed with a lopsided grin.
Without conscious thought the word slipped from his mouth, "Yes," and at the slight widening of the other boy's eyes, Tezuka wondered if perhaps saying that had a different connotation in Germany than in Japan.
"Oh, cool," the boy said scrutinizing the way Tezuka severed the ball again, "Something wrong then? You're totally distracted, and you look tense," he added, easily returning the ball.
Tezuka hesitated for a moment. He was never the type to hide things that bothered him, but he wondered whether Fuji would mind if he spoke about it. Figuring the teen before him wouldn't pry too much, and no harm would come from sharing Tezuka spoke, "My friend is sick."
"Aw, that sucks," the blonde's smile faded for a second but was quickly replaced with a sly one, "wow, I never really pegged you as the comforting type. I guess even scary serious guys like you have a soft spot!" After that comment Tezuka took the game back over four straight points.
