Ok, so I am sorry I haven't updated sooner. I keep on getting a bunch off ideas from life and wanting to write fanfictions, but I don't have enough time. I really want to type something else. Anyways, I also have *dramatically looks to the side with a sigh* writer's block. *Looks to the side again* Yes, writer's block. A writer's worst nightmare. I have done my best to overcome it, but haven't accomplished much. Anyway, on to chapter four!
Amu's POV
'No!' I thought, running as fast as I can, my legs pumping up and down, up and down... I don't know exactly what I'm running from, but I know that I need to get away. I can't slow down. I can't stop. I can't turn around to look. All that I can do is to continue running away. Away from the pain, away from the hurt, away from everything.
A light starts to appear in front of me, slowly getting brighter and brighter. It blocks out the darkness and causes a shadow behind me. I keep on running. A small infant appears in someone's arms within the light. Getting closer, I realize that there is also a small child, maybe three or four years old, standing beside them. The child turns and I immediately stop, stumbling and almost falling down. I look at the child and see the golden eyes, the light pink hair... and I know she's my daughter. The one who tried to protect me. My daughter with the biggest heart I've ever seen. One of the only things I'd had left in my life.
I run. I don't think, just run. I run towards my daughter, towards my little girl, but before I even become six feet closer, she's fading away. She is leaving me, and I can't do anything about it.
"NOOOOO!" I scream, shattering the silence of the darkness and light. She disappears and I collapse. I fall to my knees and sob. I can't lose her twice. I hear an angry shout and look up. There he stands above me, his red eyes glowing in the dim light that's fading in the distance. He raises his hand, about to let it crash against my cheek. I squeeze my eyes shut and scream...
I shoot up in the bed, sweat and tears running down my face, my breathing heavy. The door to the room opens and the lights are turned on. Utau walks into the room, rubbing her eyes. Her hair is slightly messy and her light purple pajamas with small flowers are wrinkled.
"What happened?" she asks, a tired yawn escaping her mouth. Her eyes open wider and she sees the tears streaming down my face.
"Amu!" She runs to me, her eyes showing worry and slight confusion. She hugs me, and after a minute or so she moves back to look at me, trying to figure out what happened. She finally comes to a possible conclusion.
"Did you have a nightmare?" She asks.
All I can do is nod. My head is too jumbled with thoughts of my dream and past to do any more than that. I sit there for a few more seconds and see Utau glance at the clock.
"Well, it's eight in the morning so we might as well get up. Are eggs and pancakes okay for breakfast?" She says.
"I'm not hungry," I say, my voice hoarse from screaming in my sleep.
"Okay," she says. Utau turns and leaves the room. The door shuts and I bury my head in my pillow, trying to forget. To forget the abuse, the pain, the terror of it all, the sorrow of losing my children, everything... I don't know if I should tell Utau my nightmare, but if I do, it will take a long time to explain everything. She knows nothing of how he abused me, how I lost my children, how I have been treated for the past five years of my life. She doesn't even know about me having two kids.
I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell her or anyone else. It's hard to admit it and I just don't think that I can. I don't even like thinking about it and have never said a word of anything out loud, not even to Tadase. I lie on the bed for a while longer and then stand up to get prepared for the day.
I grab some of the clothes that I had packed, along with my toothbrush and a few other things. I then head to the bathroom connected to the room. I shower, using my strawberry scented shampoo, and then dry myself off. Next I dress, putting on a pair of jeans and gray and yellow striped t-shirt. I then brush my teeth with my strawberry toothpaste. Lastly, I run my brush through my shoulder length pink hair until all of the tangles are gone.
I walk out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. There are frames on the walls that hold pictures of Utau, Kukai, and Amaya. The first one is of them all standing under a tree. From the red and orange colors of the leaves you can tell it's fall.
Another shows them standing next to three snowmen. The next is them at a water park, and the last is Amaya standing in front of a Disneyland sign. She looks about one year younger than she is now and I can remember hearing on TV that Utau had had a concert there a little over a year ago.
I walk into the kitchen, smelling eggs and pancakes, but I'm still not hungry. For the past few years I've only eaten twice a day because I was never hungry. I've lost weight since I married him, but no one ever notices because of the clothes I wear. I know that I'm underweight, but I'm hardly ever hungry. So, I sit at the table, drinking a glass of water, as Utau and Amaya eat.
I look around the kitchen and see the white cabinets, the marble counters, the silver appliances, the dark brown, hardwood floor, and the other things like a paper towel dispenser. The table is dark brown and has matching chairs with it. I notice that there isn't another placemat at the table and ask the obvious question.
"Where's Kukai?" I ask.
"He had a soccer game this weekend, but I had a concert yesterday and couldn't go," she glances at the clock. "He should be home in three days because the team decided to stay for a while."
"Okay," I say quietly and wander off into the world of my thoughts. I know that I need to find a place to stay soon, but where should I stay? I don't have enough money for a hotel, not even a cheap one, I don't have a job, and I can't stay with Utau for more than a few days. She's busy enough as it is without having to take care of me. I really am pathetic. I'm unable to even take care of myself.
Amaya and Utau have been talking the whole time, but I was too concerned with my thoughts to listen, so when I look up and realize that they are done eating, I just stand up and go back to the room Utau is letting me stay in, wondering what I should do now.
~*~ End of chapter four!~*~
I think that this chapter was pretty good! It has more words than my last one and I hope it gets more reviews! I have decided that everyone gets a smiley face for reviewing! I appreciate that you all took the time to read it and review! :)
nekogirl017: Thanks! I plan to keep on writing! I don't plan on letting others get in the way of what I love to do, even if they say that it is stupid, a waste of time, or just plain dumb and boring, I want to continue writing. Thank you for taking the time to read it and review! :)
xCipiox: It's ok! Yeah, I wish that Ikuto was a cop in the anime. That would be awesome! I hope that you liked this chapter! Also, thanks for taking the time to read it and review! :)
balabalanceh: Yeah, I wanted to update though because it had been to long since I last did. I am glad that you liked it! :)
Queens-Of-Spades321(changed to xXexternalhopeXx): I am glad that you like it! Yeah, I needed someone to be a cop and figured that Nagi seemed like the cop sort of guy :) I had also planned on Ikuto being the husband, but then he turned out to abusive and then they wouldn't end up together in the end. Thank you for taking the time to review! I hope that you liked this chapter! :)
T.B.P.: I haven't finished the manga. If you read my profile you would know that I wouldn't. Who says I am proud? I have said nothing of the sort and don't consider myself proud. If you don't like this then don't read it, I'm obviously not forcing you to read it. Also, as far as I know I have never called him 'Tadagay'. True. I have written a fanfic with my friend (singular, not plural) and in it Tadase was a girl. I came up with that. I figured that with people always calling him that, it would result in him having nightmares, right? I also don't have a hatred for gay people. I dislike that people are gay, but I try my best to not judge others. Was there really an Amuto ending?
I honestly don't care. If people want to help me, they will; if people don't want to help me, they won't. You have gathered from what I write that I have a bad attitude. What exactly led you to that conclusion? That I love Amuto and I didn't want to take the time to write about an OC? That I don't want to have to change the whole plot to go back and make the husband an OC? It almost sounds as if you are threatening me and I actually find it funny. To quote you, "You wouldn't want that now, would you?" Seriously, I don't care. I write to have fun, not be threatened by people who don't like my stories. You honestly don't even make any sense. You're just a confusing person. Really, this doesn't need to be an argument or anything. I actually hope that if you continue reading this that you will enjoy it. If you want to, you can think of someone else whenever Amu's husband comes up in the story or you can stop reading. Can you please just end it here now? Also, thank you for reading and reviewing. I understand that you don't like it, but you took that time to review, and you wanted to share your opinion for this and I am not mad at you. I also realized that I am actually a little happy! You are my first ever hater! I will now go and celebrate again by wondering how I should write the next chapter! :)
Keys-Flames-93: I had actually planned on the husband being Ikuto, but then he turned out mean and if it was him, they wouldn't end up together in this story. :)
Jemstone6259: Yeah, I went back and changed the years to five years. Also Ikuto came in the chapter after as I am sure you noticed. :)
Hinata2413: Thanks! I am glad that you like it! :)
cutey605kuto: I'm glad that you like it so far! Thanks for an idea that you unknowingly gave me! I will use it later on, because now just isn't the right time to use it. :)
Ok, so how many people here think that they can beat nine reviews? Are you all up for the challenge? :) (I like smiley faces! Turn that frown upside down!)
(This one was also changed on June 26th! I guess I shouldn't say changed because it's basically adding stuff and whatnot, but yeah. This is actually increasing my word count a lot! The going back and adding stuff into the chapter!)
