Chapter 3: Brain Drain
Piper and Phoebe are looking in the oven while Buffy sat at the counter.
"Damn it! These ones are burnt too. I'm losing my touch," said Piper as she pulled a tray of cookies out.
"Oh, no, it's okay, sweetie, they're just a little crisp," said Phoebe as Piper put the tray on the table. "You know, personally I am glad that you're not a chef anymore. I'd probably weigh 300 pounds."
"I never was a good cook myself. I'd burn everything if I had to cook it all myself," said Buffy.
"Maybe I should make another batch," said Piper as she turned to look at Buffy. "I could teach you to cook you know if you want to learn."
"I might take you up on that," said Buffy. "Besides just being able to cook would help you out to where you don't have to do it all the time Piper."
"Um, Piper, remember when you told me to tell you when you're obsessing?" asked Phoebe.
"Phoebe, I'm not obsessing. I just want everything to be perfect, that's all," said Piper. "Buffy you don't have, I enjoy cooking. I've always wanted to be a chef."
"I kind of got that," said Buffy. "But it would also be nice to be able to fix Dawn something to eat and not have to bug you guys."
"Yeah, but Piper, it's a baby shower, not a Royal wedding. Besides, don't you think you're doing enough already?" said Phoebe as she got a glass out of the cupboard. "For god sakes, you're hosting the thing and you're not even close to Wendy anymore."
"Okay," said Piper. "How about you help me with dinner and I'll start helping you then." She looked over at Phoebe and sighed. "That is precisely why I'm doing all of this. I swear to god, in the last couple of years we've vanquished more friendships than we have demons."
"Got milk?" asked Phoebe as she took an empty milk carton from the fridge.
"Somebody forgot to put it on the list again," said Piper.
"Hey it wasn't me," said Buffy. "Could have been Dawn. I'll ask her when she gets home."
"No one said it was you, Buffy," said Phoebe. "Still we have to be patient. You know, it's gonna take Paige, Dawn and Buffy more than a week to adjust to living here."
"Still, there are common courtesies, common sense, rules," said Piper.
"Yeah, but you have to admit, it's nice to have the Power of Three under the same roof again. And if we ever need it the Power of Four," said Phoebe.
"Right," said Piper as she walked out of the kitchen. "Grab those."
Buffy and Phoebe each picked up a basket filled with baby stuff and followed Piper out of the kitchen. "So cute," said Phoebe. "Aunt Phoebe sure would like to throw one of these for you one day."
"Damn it!" said Piper as she knocked over a chair. "Paige!"
"You're changing the subject," said Phoebe.
"No, I'm ignoring you," said Piper as they walked into the living room.
"Well, you can't ignore that beautiful little girl of yours that we saw in the future, and if my math is right, you and Leo better start, you know, right about now," said Phoebe.
"Little girl? Future?" Buffy asked as Phoebe nodded.
"A couple years ago we went to the future. Or rather an alternate future where Piper had a beautiful little girl," said Phoebe.
"Phoebe, we saw a lot of things in the that future that won't be happening now," said Piper.
"Did I look good in the future? You know alive and well?" asked Buffy.
"I know. But that doesn't mean you can't have kids. I mean, don't you wanna little kid?" said Phoebe as she looked towards Buffy. "We didn't see you in the future, Buffy. It was a future where we had never met you or Paige and Prue was still alive."
"Oh!" said Buffy, disappointed.
"Not with demons dropping in all the time," said Piper as Cole shimmered in. "I don't."
Buffy ran at full Slayer speed at Cole knocking over as she jumped on top of him. "Phoebe?" Cole said.
"Hold that thought," said Phoebe. "Generations of Halliwells fought demons and had kids. It didn't stop them, why should it stop you?"
"Did it ever occur to you that maybe this is none of your business?" asked Piper.
"Oh, that's beside the point," said Phoebe as Buffy pulled out a stake and held it above Cole's heart.
"Phoebe," said Cole.
"How does Leo feel about this?" asked Phoebe.
"I haven't talked to Leo about this," said Piper.
"Well, don't you think we should?" asked Phoebe.
"We?" said Piper.
"Piper. Phoebe," said Buffy. "Run upstairs and check on this guy see what we need to vanquish him."
Phoebe and Piper turned to look at Buffy as Phoebe sighed. "Buffy," said Phoebe. "Can you let my boyfriend up. He's good okay?"
"Boyfriend?" asked Buffy as she stood up looking at Phoebe, who nodded.
"Okay," said Cole as he stood up. "Freeze the room fast, then unfreeze only me."
"What? Why?" asked Piper.
"Just do what I say and I'll explain after," said Cole as Piper froze Cole and the room.
"Please don't blow him up," said Phoebe.
"I'll try," said Piper as she unfroze Cole.
"The rest of the room still frozen?" asked Cole.
"Cole, we're the only ones in the room," said Piper.
"You're not actually," said Cole. "There's a chameleon in the house."
"My spidey sense isn't going off on anything but you!" said Buffy as she looked around the room.
"A lizard?" asked Phoebe. "You're worried about a lizard?"
"This chameleon is a demon," said Cole. "One who can transform into any object just to spy on you." He looked to Buffy as he grabbed a chair. "Are you sure you can't sense it? It surprises me any demon could hide from the Slayer."
"Trying to tell me the manor is supernaturally bugged?" asked Piper.
"Uh-huh." Cole nodded. "Has been for some time, apparently. It explains why the Source hasn't attacked you in a while. He's had his chameleons watching your every move, gathering inside information. Look around. What's not supposed to be here?"
The girls looked around trying to find where a demon might be hiding. Piper spotted a chair of Paige's looked rather ugly as she blew it up as cushion stuffing flies everywhere.
"Piper, I think that was Paige's chair," said Phoebe.
"Yeah, I know, it was ugly," said Piper as the grandfather clock chimed.
"Uh, the room just unfroze," said Cole as Phoebe spotted an odd-shaped lamp.
"Where'd that lamp come from?" asked Phoebe as the lamp transformed into a demon. The demon uses his power and Piper and Phoebe fly over the couch. Cole throws an energy ball at the demon as the demon's arm explodes. Cole wipes the goo off, sending it all over Piper's baby baskets as the demon's arm grows back. Buffy runs over towards the demon and started pummeling it.
"Cole, Buffy, get back!" shouted Piper as she tried to blow up the demon, but blows the grandfather clock instead. "Damn it, we just got that thing fixed."
Paige walked down the stairs holding a washing basket and wearing earphones as the demon ran in front of her and Cole threw another energy ball as the demon shimmered out. Paige notices the energy ball heading straight for her and orbs out before it can hit her.
"What the hell happened?" asked Paige when she orbed back in a second later.
"The freakin' furniture just attacked!" said Piper as they move Phoebe to the couch. "Leo!" Leo orbed in and looked at her as she motioned towards Phoebe..
Leo nodded and went over to Phoebe holding out his hands to heal the wound on her forehead as they filled him in on the chameleon demon. "Do you know how long the chameleon demon was in the house?" he asked.
"I don't know," said Phoebe. "The lamp has been here for at least three days. Maybe more."
"What do you think he wants?" asked Piper.
"I told you," said Cole. "Gathering information."
"But for what?" Buffy asked. "For why?"
"For the Source's next attack," said Cole as Paige walked over to her chair that Piper blew up.
"Excuse me. Is there any way to claim this kind of damage on our home owner's insurance policy?" asked Paige.
Piper shook her head. "Usually not."
"Usually?" asked Piper. "What do you mean? I can expect my furniture to get blown up again?"
Phoebe nodded. "Get ready for the unexpected. That's rule number one in the Halliwell manor."
Buffy smiled as she spoke up before anyone else did. "Rule number two no matter where you live here or anywhere for that matter. Never ever invite in someone. Vamps can't come in unless they are invited by someone who lives inside the home."
"Wanna learn the rest?" asked Piper.
"Um, maybe nows not the time?" suggested Phoebe. "Considering we have to figure out a way to find this demon."
"Well, you could try scrying using his blood," said Leo.
"And we've got plenty of that," said Piper as she looked around. "Although, I don't know what good it would do to find him now. Whatever he's learned he's already told the Source."
"Except that he might also know what the Source's plan is," said Cole. "How he's going to attack. Find him, we might be able to find that out."
"I know," said Paige. "What about pooling our money into a fund to cover anybodys damage no matter who's it is."
"Um... What's left of my money is tied up at the moment," said Buffy as the doorbell rang. "Remember I quit my job in Sunnydale to move down here. So I need that money for my share of the bills and for any Dawn related expense."
They all look at each other as Piper and Phoebe cautiously go to the door and opened it to find Piper's friend Becca there.
"Whoa!" said Becca. "Scared me. Hey, Phoebe, it's been a long time." Phoebe waved. "Hey, sorry I'm late, we should go."
"Go?" asked Piper.
"To the shower," said Becca. "Wasn't I supposed to pick you up? Did I mess up?" She looked in her day planner to make sure she didn't mess up.
"No, no, you didn't, Becca," said Piper. "There's just some stuff going on here."
"So what else is new, huh? Do you want some help with the party baskets?" asked Becca as she started to walk in.
"No!" said Phoebe. "No, it's just I'm afraid something came up and Piper can't ..."
"Oh, no," said Becca, "don't tell me that you're not gonna come. Everyone's so looking forward to seeing you again."
"Oh, really?" said Piper. "Oh, they are? Well, th—then we can't disappoint them. W-We'll get some stuff at the market on the way there."
"Will you excuse us for one minute?" asked Phoebe as she closed the door. "Wh—Are you outta your mind? You can't still go. Piper, we have to scry for that demon."
"Well, it doesn't take four sisters to scry," said Piper. "You and Paige or Buffy can do it and then call me when you find him."
"Piper!" said Phoebe.
"Phoebe," said Piper. "Look, okay, the bottom line is if I'm ever gonna have kids, then I need a life first, which means I need to be a human first and then a witch later. Okay, got it? Good." She tried to open the door but Phoebe just stood in her way. "Outta the way!" She said as she moved Phoebe out of the way and opened the door and walked out the door. "Hi! Bye Leo!"
"Bye!" Leo called out as Phoebe shut the door.
Later at P5, Piper is sitting next to her pregnant friend, Wendy who opens a gift and pulls out a cute baby jacket. "Oh, how cute is this!" said Wendy. "Oh, Piper, this is adorable. Where did you get this?"
"Uh, a little shop in the Embarcadero. They have the cutest things," said Piper.
"Thank you so much. For everything," said Wendy.
"You're welcome," said Piper as she hugged Wendy.
"We have so much to catch up on," said Wendy.
"I know," said Wendy. "We will."
Piper got and up and went over to sit down next to Becca. "What?" Piper asked noting that Becca was smiling.
"Nothing," said Becca. "It's just good to see you out and about again, that's all."
"Yeah, after Prue died it took some time to ..." said Piper.
"Yeah, but even before that," said Becca. "It's almost like the last three or four years you've just kinda disappeared."
"Yeah." Piper said as her cell phone rang. She smiled as she turned it off.
"Oh, no, don't tell me you have to go," said Becca.
"Uh, no, it can wait," said Piper as Leo orbed in. He motioned for Piper to come over to him. She frowned and shook her head. "I'll be right back." She got up and walked over to Leo. "What are you doing here? No guys allowed."
"I tried calling your cell phone but it went dead," said Leo. "Paige, Buffy and Phoebe think they found the demon."
"Already?" said Piper. "They did? Are you sure?"
Leo nodded. "Yeah. You have to go now."
"How am I supposed to have kids when I can't even be at someone else's baby shower?" Piper asked.
"What?" Leo asked, confused.
"Nothing, never mind. I'll meet you outside. The least I can do is say goodbye," said Piper as she walked over to Wendy. "Uh, Wendy, I'm sorry, I've gotta go, somethings come up."
"Ugh, now?" said Wendy. "But we haven't even had the cake yet, you're gonna miss the best part."
Piper nodded. "Ugh, I know. Story of my life. I'll see you later," she said as she left and walked over Leo who orbed them back to the manor..
"So we've got the spell to vanquish the chameleon but we're not gonna use it. I don't get it," said Paige.
Buffy nodded. "He is a demon," she said. "And it's kind of my duty as the Slayer"
"Well, you vanquish him only if you have to," said Leo. "The goal here is to try and interrogate him and find out what the Source is planning."
"Okay, but I'm thinking that this guy's not gonna be so eager to spill his guts," said Paige.
"Oh, he'll spill," said Cole. "I'll see to that."
"No, you can't come, he saw you with us," said Phoebe. "Probably means the Source has some bounty hunter ready to attack you, or capture you, or something."
"So what else is new?" Cole asked.
"Well, it doesn't make it any less dangerous," said Phoebe.
"So the question still stands," said Paige. "How do we get a demon to stop and chat with us."
"Well, Piper can freeze him and unfreeze his head, she's done that before," said Phoebe. "How do you feel about that?"
"I don't know," said Piper.
"Why, you got a better idea?" Cole asked.
"I could always try pummeling within an inch of his life," said Buffy.
"Maybe," said Piper as she sat down. "We could tell him to offer the Source a deal instead."
Leo frowns, "Deal? What kind of a deal?"
"Well, something like, he stops coming after us and we stop going after him," said Piper.
"What?" asked Phoebe as she sat down on the coffee table in front of Piper.
"Of course that would mean we'd have to stop going after all of his demons too, which would be fine by me. It would stop all of the constant attacks," said Piper.
"Am I the only one who thinks she's bumped her head?" asked Paige.
Buffy shook her head as she looked at her twin sister. "No, you're not."
"You can't be serious, Piper," said Phoebe.
"Actually, I've never been more serious in my life. Think about it. This could be an opportunity for us to get out of the demon fighting business once and for all," said Piper.
"Wait, and what, just give up on your destiny?" asked Leo.
Piper sighed. "How do you know we haven't already fulfilled it? I mean, god knows, we've saved scores of innocents already. Maybe that's enough. Maybe it's time for some other witches to take over and let us get on with our lives. Isn't it worth a try in exchange for what we might be getting? No more putting things on hold, vacations, friends, kids."
"We can't give up now," said Phoebe. "We are so close. We have to take out the Source if we can. And if not just for our sake, then at least for Prue's."
"Fine. I just hope we don't end up where she did," Piper said as she got up and walked away.
Short time later Piper, Phoebe, Buffy and Paige are in an alley looking at the scrying map.
"Somethings not right," said Piper. "We've checked both alleys twice."
"Well, the chameleons gotta be here somewhere because the crystal never lies," said Phoebe.
"I don't know about you guys but I'm getting a not so good feeling about this," said Paige.
Buffy nodded in agreement. "My spidey sense is going off."
"All right, we'll check one more time and then we'll call it quits," said Piper. "Phoebe, you and Paige go check that alley, Buffy and I'll go check the other alley."
"Wait, split up? Are you sure that's a good idea?" asked Paige.
"Maybe it'll lure him out, who knows?" said Piper. "If you get nervous say the vanquishing spell. Keep your eyes peeled, he could be anything."
Paige and Phoebe disappeared into the alley as Piper and Buffy starts down the other alley. Suddenly the demon appears behind them as they turned around and Piper tries to freeze him.
"Were you expecting me to freeze?" asked the demon.
"Phoebe! Paige!" Piper called out as Buffy goes charging at the demon. The demon throws two energy balls one at Piper and one at Buffy. Buffy is sent flying back and lands next to Piper as the second energy ball hits her. Phoebe and Paige run into the alley just as the picked Piper up and touched Buffy before flaming out.
In the underworld the demon flames in. "Oracle a slight change of plans. Can we put both of them in a shared delusion?"
"Yes," the Oracle said, "My liege. Have a demon link their minds then you only have to enter one."
Short time later inside Piper's and Buffy's shared delusion. Piper lays unconscious on the floor of Halliwell Hospital as Leo, dressed in a white doctor's coat, leaned over her. "Piper," Leo said as Piper groaned. "Piper. Are you okay?"
"Ow. My head hurts," said Piper as she held her head.
"I bet it does, you hit it pretty hard. Are you all right?" said Leo.
"I think so," said Piper. "What happened?"
"What always happens when you have one of your episodes. You threw yourself against a wall," said Leo.
"Episodes?" Piper asked. "I didn't throw myself. What are you wearing?"
Suddenly several of the other patients start shouting as Piper looked around.
"It's okay, those are just the other patients," said Leo.
"What the hell is going on?" asked Piper as she stood up.
"It's all right," said Leo as Piper looked at him confused. "You're at the sanatorium. You're home."
In another part of the delusion Buffy tries to focus on her surroundings. The last thing she remembered was being in the alley with Piper. And now she is back at the manor. Or so it appears anyways. She watched as a woman bent over her. "Buffy? Can you hear me?" Doctor Boyce said.
"Whe. . . what is this?" asked Buffy.
"Buffy, do you know where you are?" asked Doctor Boyce.
"San Francisco. In the Manor," said Buffy.
Doctor Boyce put a hand on Buffy's shoulder. "No, Buffy None of that is real. None of it. You're in Halliwell Hospital. You're ill. You've been with us for ten years now, do you remember? It's gonna be okay. Look ... Look who's here," she said as she stepped back to reveal Joyce and Hank behind her.
Buffy's eyes widen. She shrinks back against the corner away from Hank.
"Buffy?" Joyce asked as she looked between her youngest daughter and her husband in confusion. Why would Buffy react this way to Hank? "Welcome home, honey."
In another part of the delusion Piper is led by Leo through Halliwell Hospital. "Where is all our furniture? Leo, what are all these people doing in our house?"
"Our house?" asked Leo. "Piper, Halliwell Hospital is hardly our house. All these other people live here too."
"Halliwell Hospital?" asked Piper. "Is that some kind of a joke? What's wrong with you?"
"Please, calm down," said Leo.
"No, Leo, I will not calm down. Something very strange is going on, something demonically strange. That demon must have cast a spell, and changed the house, and changed you. Phoebe? Buffy?" said Piper. "Paige?"
"Easy, lady, relax," said a doctor as he grabbed her.
"Let go of me," said Piper. "Leo, don't just stand there."
"Problems, Dr. Wyatt?" asked Doctor Alaster as he walked over.
"That's him, that's the demon," said Piper as she recognized Doctor Alaster as the demon from the alley.
"Demons again. Piper," said Doctor Alaster, "we've been through this thousands of times before. There are no demons; they're just figments of your imagination."
"Wanna bet?" asked Piper. "Evil hiding in plain sight, I use this spell with all my might, to stop you changing form and shape, this vanquish seals your fate."
Nothing happens.
"Doesn't really rhyme, does it? Sorry," said the doctor that held her.
"I don't understand it," said Piper. "That spell should have worked."
"Ms. Summers, Piper," said Doctor Alaster, "why do you insist on demonizing me and every psychiatrist who's ever tried to help you?"
"Ms. Summers? Let go of me," said Piper as she struggled to get free. "I gotta blow him up, I'm gonna blow you up!"
"The violent impulses are returning," said Doctor Alaster as he looked towards a passing doctor. "Hey, straitjacket!"
"Yes, doctor," said the passing doctor as he ran off to get the straitjacket.
"Piper, why won't you let Dr. Alaster help you?" asked Leo.
"I don't need his help, I need your help," said Piper. "Get this guy off of me so I can use my powers."
"Piper, you don't have powers, you're not a witch, you don't save innocents, you never did," said Leo.
"What?" Piper asked.
In another room Paige dropped something as two doctors grabbed her. "This isn't fair! This is my house too!" The doctors carry her past Piper. "I can do anything I want! You're hurting me!"
"Paige, Paige," said Piper. "A demon took over the house. Orb the heck outta here!"
"Take her to isolation so she doesn't hurt herself," said Doctor Alaster as the doctor who held her helped get Piper into a straitjacket.
"Wait, wait a minute, you don't understand. Wait. Leo!" said Piper.
"It's for your own good," said Leo.
"Wait a minute," said Piper. "Hey, hey, you're making a big mistake. Please, listen to me for a second. He's a demon."
"I'm not gonna give up on you, Piper," said Doctor Alaster. "We're gonna free you of these delusions, I promise you."
"Shut up!" said Piper. "Phoebe! Buffy!"
"I can give you everything you want if only you'll let me help," said Doctor Alaster as the doctors carry her away. "This illness has already consumed more than nine years of your life. Don't let it rob you of anymore. You're not a witch, you only think you are."
Back in the other part of the shared delusion Joyce stares at Buffy in awe as a tear falls from her eye.
"Oh ... baby. Buffy ..." said Joyce. "You're really here."
"Mom...?" asked Buffy. "Where's Piper, Phoebe and Paige?"
"She's lucid," said Doctor Boyce. Keep talking. The sound of your voice might help ground her-"
"Sweetheart," said Hank. "We've missed you so much. Honey? Can you hear me?"
Buffy inches back away from Hank. "Stay away from me," she yelled.
Hank looked up at Doctor Boyce with concern. "Why does she react to me like that?"
Doctor Boyce sighed. "She made you the bad guy in her mind. In her mind she believes you raped her."
Hank turned back to Buffy. "I didn't sweetie," he said. "I would never do anything to hurt you."
In the real world manor Leo is trying to sense Piper and Buffy.
"Anything?" asked Paige.
Leo shook his head. "I can't sense Piper or Buffy anywhere."
"Does that mean that?" asked Paige as she glanced over at her niece who was doing her homework.
"No. He wouldn't have taken them if he wanted them dead," said Phoebe as Cole shimmered in covered in slime. "Cole? Oh my god."
"I'm all right," said Cole. "I just found out that Piper and Buffy's in the underworld, I think the Source has them."
"The Source?" asked Phoebe as she glanced at Dawn. "A—are you sure? How do you know?"
"From another chameleon demon," said Cole. "I kinda 'squeezed' it out of him."
"Well, we gotta find them. There's gotta be a spell in here somewhere," said Phoebe as she picked up the Book of Shadows and had a premonition of the Source taking the Book and killing her, Dawn and Paige.
"Phoebe?" Cole asked.
"I saw the Source stealing the book and killing us, with our powers," said Phoebe. "Leo can I get you to orb Dawn to her grandmothers?"
"Our powers?" asked Paige. "How can he get our powers?"
"Why?" asked Leo.
"He kills Dawn, too," said Phoebe as Leo nodded and walked over to Dawn.
"Maybe he's figured how to get them from Piper or Buffy," said Cole. "Explains why he's keeping them alive."
"No, but they can't give them up by themselves," said Phoebe.
"Well, Piper can using the relinquishing spell in the book," said Leo. "Dawn honey how would you like to see your grandmother?" Dawn smiled and hopped up gathering her stuff and took his hand.
"But we burned that spell three years ago, it doesn't exist anymore," said Phoebe.
"It does in Piper's mind," said Leo. "I'll be right back." He orbed out with Dawn.
"That's crazy," said Phoebe. "She'd never say it, she'd never give up her powers."
"Even though she was kinda willing to this morning?" asked Paige. "I'm just saying."
"Look," said Phoebe as Leo orbed back in. "I know what you're saying but you don't know what you're talking about. I'm sorry."
"Forget it," said Paige.
"Maybe you and I should go down there, see if I can sense them," Leo said looking at Colle.
Cole nodded. "Follow me," he said as he shimmered out and a second later Leo orbed out.
"Okay, there's a bunch or summoning spells we can try. Come on," said Phoebe.
In the Delusion Piper and Paige are strapped to beds.
"I thought you said I wasn't good enough for your little coven," said Paige.
"Paige, you are under a spell, you don't know what you're talking about," said Piper.
"I tried to be your friend, I even tried to play your stupid witchy games, but all you could do was complain about me and my stuff and how we didn't compare to your beloved Prue," said Paige.
"I've never said that," said Piper.
"Hmm, you don't have to," said Paige. "It's obvious the way you treat me. You don't even like me."
"Paige, that's ridiculous, we're sisters," said Piper.
Doctor Alaster shook his head. "You only have one sister, Piper, you know that," he said as he walked up to the cage door. It's a shame we had to do this. Your mom and dad are visiting with Buffy as we speak. They could have been allowed to see you also."
"You really screwed up you know that. First off my mom is dead," said Piper.
"No she's not Piper," said Doctor Alaster. "That is part of your delusion."
"Secondly I'm gonna be so happy when I vanquish you're sorry ass," said Piper as Doctor Alaster opened the cage door and walked in.
"You use it to explain things you can't accept," said Doctor Alaster. "Just like your best friend did before she got well. Prue?"
"Don't you dare talk about Prue," said Piper.
Paige rolled her eyes. "Here we go again. Saint Prue."
"You've never forgiven her from finally accepting that she wasn't a witch," said Doctor Alaster. "You've convinced yourself that she's dead."
"She is dead," said Piper.
Alaster shook his head, "No, she's not," he said. "We released her three months ago. She's recovered, she's free. Just like you could be if you'd stop fighting it. Accept the reality."
"Let me out of these restraints, I'll show you some reality," said Piper.
"I'm afraid you'd just hurt yourself again. I'm truly sorry," Doctor Alaster said as he left the room.
"Leo!" Piper called out. "Leo!"
"Ugh, will you stop with the Leo, Leo," said Paige. "You're driving me crazier than I already am."
"Ughh!" said Piper as Phoebe skipped in, eating a cookie. "Phoebe, Phoebe, untie me, hurry, hurry."
"All right, all right, stop obsessing," said Phoebe as she went over to Piper.
"I'm not obsessing," said Piper. "What are you eating?"
"Chocolate chip cookie," said Phoebe. "Not your best."
"Got milk?" asked Paige as Phoebe unbuckled Piper. "Ooh, don't think so."
"Just get me out of these things, we need to reverse this damn spell," said Piper as Phoebe gasped. "What is it? What did you see?"
"I saw the back of my eyelids, what do you think I saw?" asked Phoebe.
Piper sighed. "Oh, no, Phoebe, not you too."
"Hurry up," said Paige as Phoebe unbuckled her, "Looney Tunes, get me outta here."
"All right, I don't know what the hell is going on here," said Piper, "but we've gotta get to the Book of Shadows, and since evil can't touch it, it's still gotta be in the attic. Right, right, right? Let's go."
In another part of the delusion Buffy sits in a chair as Joyce and Hank sit next to her, listening intently to Doctor Boyce. "...possibilities for a full recovery. But we have to proceed cautiously. If we're not careful -"
"Wait. There's a chance Buffy might be like she was before all this happened?" asked Joyce.
Doctor Boyce nodded. "Mrs. Summers, you have to understand the severity of what's happened to your daughters. For the last nine years, they've both been in an undifferentiated type of schizophrenia—"
Buffy looked at Doctor Boyce confused for a second on the mention of daughters. Joyce had only adopted her, who was this other so called other daughter?
"We know what their condition is," said Hank. "That's not what we're asking."
"There's a lot about schizophrenia that we still don't understand," said Doctor Alaster.
"What do you understand?" asked Joyce.
"Buffy and Piper's delusions are multi layered," said Doctor Boyce. "Buffy believes she's some type of hero—"
"The Slayer," said Joyce.
"The Slayer, right," said Doctor Alaster. "And more recently a Charmed One like her sister, Piper."
"But that's only one level," said Doctor Boyce. "She's also created an intricate lattice work to support her primary delusion. In her mind, she's the central figure in a fantastic world beyond imagination. She's surrounded herself with friends, two more sisters, a daughter—most with their own super powers—who are as real to her as you or me. More so, unfortunately. Together they face overblown, grand conflicts against an assortment of monsters, both imaginary and rooted in actual myth. Every time we think we're getting through to her, more fanciful enemies magically appear and she—"
Buffy looked at Doctor Alaster for the first time since he entered the office. "You did this to me somehow. Must be a spell."
"Buffy—"
Doctor Alaster smiled. "Shh. It's all right. None of that can hurt you here. You're with your family."
"Dawn?" asked Buffy.
"That's the daughter, right?" asked Hank. "The one you said she created in a result of the imagined rape?"
Doctor Boyce nodded. "Yes the daughter that is now the vessel for the magical 'key'," she said as she looked towards Buffy. "Dawn, Phoebe, Paige, Your friends. All the people you created in Sunnydale, and some in San Francisco. They're not as comforting as they were, are they? They're coming apart."
"Buffy. Listen to the doctor," said Joyce. "What she's saying is important."
"Buffy, we want to help you get better," said Doctor Alaster. "And I think you want that too."
Buffy looked out in the hall and saw Piper and Paige sneak down the hall. "Piper!" she yelled and jumped out of her chair running out into the hall.
"I'll get them," said Doctor Alaster as he got up to follow.
In the hall Piper engulfs Buffy in embrace. "Buffy!"
"What's going on Piper?" asked Buffy.
"We're trapped somehow in a spell," said Piper.
"By Doctor Alaster," said Buffy.
"You recognize him, too?" asked Piper.
"Yeah, he was the demon in the alley," said Buffy. "He threw an energy ball at me and the next thing I knew I was here."
"Same here," said Piper as she noticed Phoebe was gone. "Where's Phoebe?"
"Who cares?" asked Paige.
"Sorry, had to grab my broom," said Phoebe as she caught up to them holding a broom.
"For what?" asked Piper.
"Well, for flying, silly," said Phoebe as they heard someone yelling from the attic. "Uh-oh, another innocent to save." She hopped on the broom and ran upstairs.
"Couldn't the bad guys have picked a better spell," said Buffy, "They created my life a little too perfectly. I mean they have Hank as my dad again. Piper looked at Buffy wondering how come her sister hated her adopted father so much. "Of course they inserted you into my family it seems. Mom and Hank are now supposed to be your parents also."
"I know," said Piper as she, Buffy and Paige followed Phoebe up the stairs. "Phoebe, wait!"
In the attic Cole is lying on a chair with tubes stuck to his face as a doctor sat beside him. "You can't hurt me," he said. "I'm the mighty Belthazor."
"Stop it, he's not evil anymore, he's good!" said Phoebe.
Piper took the broom from Phoebe and hit the doctor over the head knocking him out.
"Mm, well, he sure flew," said Paige as Phoebe ran over to Cole and kissed him on the cheek.
"Hi, stop that," said Piper. "Has anybody seen the Book?"
"I know where it is," said Phoebe. "I hid it so the doctors ... I mean the demons wouldn't find it." She ran over to a small cupboard and reached behind it pulling out a notebook that she hands to Piper.
"What? What is this?" asked Piper as she looked at the notebook. On the cover is a hand-written 'The Book of Shadows' and a very odd-looking triquetra drawing. She opened it to a very messy 'Ice Cream Man' page and fliped it over to see a very funny drawing of Belthazor. "Oh god. You are nuts. Okay, I don't understand how a demon could take the book out of the house. Unless this isn't the house. Okay, we gotta get you two outta here, maybe that'll break the spell."
"Sounds like a good plan," said Buffy.
"How come the spell didn't work on you two?" asked Paige. "Hehehe."
"Don't question the rules," said Phoebe.
"Come on, we'll go down the trellis," said Piper as she and Buffy went over to the window and opened the bars.
"What about Cole?" asked Phoebe. "I never get to spend any time with him."
"Uh, we'll come back for him later. Come on, come on. It'll be fun. Hurry, hurry. Faster," said Piper as Phoebe and Paige climbed out the window.
"Piper, Buffy, Don't," said Doctor Alaster as he walked into the attic. He watched as first Piper and then Buffy climbed out the window and he smiled.
Outside Piper, Buffy, Phoebe and Paige run to the sidewalk, almost bumping into some people. "I think we lost him," said Phoebe.
"Wait a minute, everything looks normal," said Piper. "But this, this is wrong." Buffy nodded in agreement. "We should go back and try to get the demon to talk."
"I'm thinking he's not gonna be so eager to spill his guts," said Phoebe as a thief stole a woman's purse and ran across the road.
"Hey!" Piper said as she ran onto the road.
"Piper!" Buffy said as noticed a car approaching and ran towards Piper. She instantly notices something was wrong as she wasn't running at full Slayer speed.
Piper turned to face the car and tried to freeze it but nothing happens. Buffy reached Piper just as the car hit them both as they roll onto the front of the car and then back off hitting the ground hard.
In the real world manor Phoebe and Paige have been reciting summoning spells. "Power of the witches rise, course unseen across the skies, come to us who call you near, come to us and settle here. Blood to blood I summon thee, blood to blood return to me," chanted Phoebe and Paige but nothing happens.
"Any other spells you can think of?" asked Paige.
Phoebe shook her head, "No. I don't know what else to do. If Leo and Cole can't find them ..." said Phoebe as Paige smiled. "What is it?"
"Something that Leo said about the power-relinquishing spell being in Piper's mind," said Paige.
"I told you, she'd never say it," said Phoebe. "Paige, you don't know her as well as I do."
"No, but I am getting to know the Source," said Paige. "He likes to play tricks on people's minds. I mean, god knows, he did with mine. He almost had me kill a guy, remember?"
Phoebe nodded. "Yeah, go on."
"Well, maybe that's what he's trying to do to Piper and Buffy both, get into their minds somehow. I mean, if that's where the spell is," said Paige.
"Then that's probably where he's looking for it," said Phoebe. "And if he can get into her mind, then why can't we?" She starts flipping through the Book of Shadows.
In the delusion Piper and Buffy are asleep in beds with cuts and bruises all over their faces. Doctor Alaster waves something under Piper's nose as Doctor Boyce waves something under Buffy's and they both wake up rather quickly.
"Easy, easy," said Doctor Alaster as Piper and Buffy both groan. "You've both had a terrible accident."
"What did you do to us?" asked Piper.
"You both got hit by a car," said Doctor Boyce. "The driver said you didn't even try to get out of the way, and Buffy ran right in front of it."
"Piper, this delusion that you somehow have magical powers is going to get you killed some day," said Doctor Alaster. "Just as Buffy's delusion of being stronger and faster than she actually is will get her killed."
"Shove it," said Buffy and Piper.
"Where are our other sisters?" asked Piper.
"You mean your roommates," said Doctor Alaster. "They're safe downstairs. Piper, Buffy, how can we save you both if you won't save yourselves? You both have to want to. You both have to will it. Otherwise you just remain lost in this fantasy world of yours."
"It's real, and you're just trying to confuse us," said Buffy.
Doctor Alaster shook his head. "No, no, I'm trying to help you. Piper, your psychosis is based on the fervent belief that you're magical, a witch. Buffy yours is based on the belief your also magical, the Slayer and recently a witch. But you both know that's just an escape."
"Escape?" asked Piper. "What escape?"
"From some deep-seated pain, some terrible loss," said Doctor Alaster. "Most likely the divorce of your parents. Which is, after all, when these series of episodes began for the both of you. End your pain. You both can do it. In one of our sessions, Piper, you mentioned a poem ... a spell, you called it. One that relinquishes the magical powers you both think you have."
"No," said Piper. "Go away."
"Say the spell, Piper… Buffy," said Doctor Boyce. "It'll free you both, we promise you. It'll release you from all the, the crippling delusions you both have."
"Get out. Get away from us, get out!" said Buffy.
"You both have the power to give yourselves the lives you've always wanted," said Doctor Alaster as he and Doctor Boyce walked towards the door. "All you both have to do is stop putting the illusion of being a witch or the Slayer in front of it." He walked out of the room closing the door behind him.
Piper looked at Buffy and sighed, "Are you okay?" she asked.
"Yeah as much as I can be," said Buffy.
"Hey," said Leo as he opened the door and walked in.
Piper smiled. "Leo. Heal us, please."
"This ought to help," said Leo as he pulled out a needle.
"No, not with that, with your powers," said Piper.
"If I had powers, honey, I would use them. You know that I would," Leo said as he stuck the needle into Piper. "It kills me to see you and Buffy like this." Piper looked at Leo and smiled. "What?"
"White lights," said Piper. "I see white lights all around you."
"That's the painkiller," said Leo.
"No, you're our Whitelighter," said Buffy.
"Dr. Alaster says there's a way for you both to get better," said Leo as he wiped a bit of blood off Piper's lip. "Is that true?"
"I—I don't ..." said Piper.
"If it were then we can be together," said Leo. "We wouldn't have to keep sneaking around, breaking the rules."
"Rules? But we're married," said Piper.
Buffy is watching them silently. Her mind racing wondering why Piper's powers hadn't worked, and why she no longer had her Slayer abilities. She sighed as she began to think it possible she and Piper may indeed be crazy.
"No, only in your fantasy world," said Leo. "But it doesn't have to be that way. If you were to get better, then we could be married for real. And have that little girl that you've been dreaming about in the future. Come on, I wanna show you both something." He picked Piper up as Doctor Boyce came in and picked Buffy up.
Piper and Buffy are taken downstairs into the conservatory where Doctor Alaster is waiting. "I have a surprise for you, Piper … Buffy." Doctor Alaster said as he opened the door out onto a beautiful garden. "One that I think will help you both."
Leo and Doctor Boyce wheel Piper and Buffy out into the garden in wheelchairs as two butterflies flutter by them. "You see, there's magic in the real world too," said Leo.
"Your friends have come to visit you," said Doctor Alaster as he moved aside and Becca, Willow, Dawn and Wendy walk up to them.
"Piper, Buffy, how are you?" asked Becca.
"Willow?" asked Buffy.
"It's so good to see you both again, we've missed you," said Willow.
"We've got so much to catch up on," said Wendy.
"Dawn?" asked Piper.
Wendy smiled. "I know its been nine years since you saw her last. But it's nice to know you recognize my daughter."
"Daughter," said Buffy as she stared at Dawn as she began to cry.
"What's the matter, honey? Why are you crying?" asked Becca.
"I think it's probably best if you all go now," said Doctor Alaster.
"But we just got here," said Willow. "And everyone's so excited to finally see them again."
"I'm sorry," said Doctor Alaster. "You understand."
Wendy, Willow, Dawn and Becca all say goodbye and then turn and leave.
"You can have this life, Piper … Buffy," said Leo. "Piper, we can have it together. You already know how to get it for us. It's the only way you both will ever get out of here. To free yourselves once and for all."
Piper looked to Buffy who nodded. "The spell," they said.
"Yes. The spell," said Leo as he handed Piper a pen and paper. "Try to remember it. Exactly." He kissed the top of Piper's head as he walked away.
In the real world manor Phoebe and Paige have the Book of Shadows open to a page as Phoebe lights some candles. "Are we sure we wanna do this?" asked Paige.
"This was your idea, remember?" said Phoebe.
"Well, in the abstract, yeah, but, uh, I have enough trouble being in my head let alone someone else's," said Paige.
Phoebe nodded. "Well, our minds won't actually be in Piper or Buffy's bodies, just our consciousness. Kinda like astral projection."
"Okay, so the spell gets us into their heads," said Paige. "What about after that?"
"We use the reversal spell to get us out. Are you ready?" said Phoebe as she and Paige knelt inside the circle of candles and they joined hand. "I'm not about to lose another sister. And neither are you."
"Life to life and mind to mind, our spirits now will intertwine; We meld our souls and journey to, the one whose thoughts we wish we knew," chanted Phoebe and Paige and then they fell back wards their heads hitting the pillows behind them.
In the delusion Phoebe and Paige appear in the garden. "I think it worked," said Phoebe.
"Either that or we're in Mary Poppins' head," said Paige as they see Buffy and Piper and ran over to them.
"Piper. Buffy. We're gonna get you outta here. Okay, I have the spell," said Phoebe as Piper and Buffy looked at each other.
"No, no more spells," said Piper.
"Piper… Buffy, sweeties, it's us, it's your sisters," said Phoebe.
Buffy shook her head "We only have each other."
Piper nodded as she smiled at Buffy. "Go away," she said, "leave us alone!"
"You're too late," said Doctor Alaster as he walked towards them just as two doctors grabbed a hold of Phoebe and Paige. "Their nightmare's about to end. Keep 'em here. I want them to witness this. They're no threat. Their powers don't work here."
"Oh, yeah? Spell!" Paige called out but the only thing that happened was the doctor that held her jerked her painfully. "Ow!"
"Pain, however, you do feel," said Doctor Alaster as Leo and Doctor Boyce walked towards Buffy and Piper. "And will, after they recite the spell four times. Once for each of your powers."
"Leo. Help Piper and Buffy, get them outta here," said Phoebe.
Doctor Alaster nodded. "Yes, Leo, Doctor Boyce, by all means."
Leo and Doctor Boyce wheeled Piper and Buffy down the path. "It's okay. Piper … Buffy, just say the words and everything will be all right," said Leo as Phoebe and Paige try to escape from the doctor's grip.
"No!" said Paige.
Piper nodded and handed a copy of the spell to Buffy "From whence they came return them now..." chanter Piper and Buffy.
"Piper … Buffy, don't! Please, Piper … Buffy, don't," said Phoebe.
"Vanish the words, vanish our powers ..." chanted Piper and Buffy.
"Don't trust them, they're trying to steal our powers!" said Paige.
"Don't listen to them," said Doctor Boyce.
"They're still delusional," said Leo.
Doctor Alaster smiled. "But neither of you are."
"Not anymore," said Leo.
"Just three more times," said Doctor Alaster. "You'll set yourselves free."
"From whence they came return them now. Vanish the words, vanish our powers..." said Buffy.
"Two more times," said Doctor Alaster.
"From whence they came return them now. Vanish the words, vanish our powers..." said Piper.
Alaster smiled. "One last time."
Phoebe elbowed the doctor that was holding her and tripped him. "Now!" she said as Paige moved her head as she punched the doctor holding Paige. She turned and kicked Doctor Alaster.
"I told you, you're too late," said Doctor Alaster just before he, Leo and the doctors disappeared.
"Piper, Buffy, please, don't do this," said Phoebe. "Our magic is a gift. You can't just throw it away."
Piper and Buffy looked at each other as they spoke at once. "From whence they came, return them now ..."
"Piper, Buffy, don't," said Leo as he materialized next to Phoebe and Paige. "Listen to your sisters, trust them. Trust me, don't say the spell, and don't relinquish your powers." He held out his hands over both Piper and Buffy's wounds and healed them.
"Are you really my husband?" Piper asked pointing at Leo.
Leo laughed. "Yes."
"And that would make you two really our sisters?" asked Buffy pointing at Phoebe and Paige.
Phoebe nodded. "Whether you two like it or not."
"And so that demon is gone?" asked Piper as Phoebe nodded. "Thank god," she said as she and Buffy got up out of the wheelchairs, "because that guy was freaking me out. Well us I guess…"
"Yeah he was freaking me out also," said Buffy. "Especially when he gave your friend Wendy, Dawn."
"What do you mean?" asked Phoebe.
"He made it look like Dawn was Wendy's daughter," said Piper.
Phoebe, Paige and Leo pulled Buffy into an embrace and hugged. "She is your daughter," said Paige. "Now whattaya say we, uh, click our heals and get out of this crazy joint? Uh, no offense."
"That's okay," said Piper as she watched some butterflies fly past. "My life has always been a little crazy."
"As has mine," said Piper.
Short time later back at the real world manor Piper and Buffy ran down the stairs and go through all the rooms as Phoebe, Paige and Cole came down behind them. "Is something wrong?" asked Phoebe.
Piper shook her head looking at Buffy as Leo orbed in with Dawn, "No, everything is just right."
"Yeah everything is perfect," said Buffy as she pulled Dawn into an embrace.
"Except for my chair," said Paige as Phoebe nudged Piper.
"Yeah, which, um, I'll actually pay to replace," said Piper.
"Oh, god, no, it's not your fault. Or is it?" said Paige.
"Actually, yeah, it was," said Piper. "I was just upset that there was yet another demon in our house and in our lives. And I know I should stop fighting it and just accept it but…"
"Nah, it wasn't my favorite chair anyway," said Paige. "Besides, it's actually kinda good to know that I'm not the only one who struggles with the idea of being a witch."
"No, believe me, you're in good company," said Phoebe as she hugged Paige.
"Well, the good news is you won't have to deal with the Source any time soon because Cole hurt him pretty bad," said Leo.
"Not bad enough though, he'll be back," said Cole.
"So, he's gone for now isn't he? First time in a long time. I think we should take advantage of that," said Phoebe.
"Why, Ms. Halliwell, are you trying to seduce me?" Cole asked as he pulled Phoebe into an embrace.
Phoebe smiled. "Always."
"Eww,"said Piper as Leo laughed.
"Okay, and I'm just gonna ... go to the store, get some milk, or something," said Paige as Phoebe and Cole ran upstairs. She turned and left out the front door.
"Sure you're both okay?" Leo asked.
Piper looked to Buffy who nodded. "Yeah. You know, I—I'm never gonna stop wanting a normal life, and I doubt Buffy will either, but you know what? I think that's the one thing that actually keeps us sane."
"Well, you both deserve a normal life, Piper… Buffy," said Leo. "We all do. And maybe we'll get that when we vanquish the Source once and for all."
Piper nodded. "And who knows. Maybe someday I can have a baby shower of my own. What do you think?"
"Well, in that case..." Leo said as he picked Piper up. "We need to practice a little."
Piper laughed. "Leo!" she said as Leo orbed them out.
"Mom," said Dawn. "Before I forget. Grandma said she wanted you to call her when you got home."
"Ok," said Buffy as she walked over to the phone and dialed.
"Summers Residence, Joyce speaking."
"Mom," said Buffy. "Dawn said you wanted me to call."
"Buffy can you come to Sunnydale," said Joyce. "I need to see you."
Buffy nodded. "Sure mom. I will be there as soon as I can." She hung up the phone and looked at Dawn. "Go pack your overnight bag."
"Ok, mom," said Dawn as she ran up to her and Buffy's room.
Buffy made her way upstairs and stopped at Piper's door and knocked. "Piper."
"What?" asked Piper as she opened the door.
"Sorry to interrupt whatever your doing with Leo. But I need to borrow him for a moment. Dawn told me that mom needed me to call her. When I did she asked me to come down. So I need him to orb me and Dawn to Sunnydale."
Piper looked back at Leo who nodded. "Ok go get Phoebe and call Paige and we'll come with you," she said.
"You don't have to," said Buffy.
"I know but we're going to anyways," said Piper. "I think we would all like to get to know your mom anyways."
Buffy smiled. "Ok."
