in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near…

The rain has a way for soothing my fears. For some people, living in a town that rains perpetually might put them into depression, but for me, the rain meant restoration. It replenishes the earth, and clears away the traces of time and the past. One time shortly after the funeral, I stood in the rain for a whole night because I thought that the water would cleanse all that was unwanted, any trace of a past that would haunt me. It didn't however, and all I was left with was a month of bed rest because of pneumonia. But even now, I belief in the magical power of rain. It might not sweep away the past, but it hid my present tears and seemed to offer the suggestion that it is not only raining within me.

It has been a few weeks since my arrival at La Push, and the change of scenery, as Ian put it, was doing me good. Aunt Emily seems to think I should eat as much as the guys who are always over at her house, specifically the kitchen, and my plate has continued to be the plate of horror. Of course, she doesn't know that with the medication I take, I really don't have much of an appetite. It isn't hard to get rid of the evidence though, considering the guys are always eyeing my plate with envy. I would dump more than half of my food on the plate next to me, so that now, it has become a routine for them to fight to sit next to me. It was more difficult however, when Paul would join us, which was not as often as the other's, because he would glare at whoever sat next to me and re-dump the food back on my plate, always telling me to eat more.

Since the short exchange outside of the kitchen, these short sentences of telling me to eat was all that he said to me. To say I was confused would be an understatement, because I had no idea in hell what goes on in his head. It becomes complicated and frustrating when you are trying to figure out someone, all the while trying to distance yourself. It is in this state of mind that I decided to take a stroll in the forest near the house.

It was yet another gray skied day, but that didn't deter me from venturing into the woods. I walked aimlessly, and it was an hour later that I remembered my non-existent sense of direction. I ignored the small voice that sounded oddly like Uncle Sam which said that I was a danger to myself, and looked around me, trying not to panick. I had no idea which direction I came from. I sat down on what of the fallen tree trunks and tried to come up with a plan. Surely, someone back home would notice my absence right? I looked at my watch and realized that it was 7:18pm. Oh no. It was dinnertime, and at dinnertime, there was only one thing on everyone's mind: food. Aunt Emily ought to remember me…

I shivered against the cold. The dampness in the wood was chilling, and the setting sun did not help either. This isn't so bad, I reassured myself, you like being alone. I tried to hum a tune because the darkening forest and the shadows cast among the trees were giving me the creeps. I rested my head against a tree trunk and closed my eyes, wondering whether I should just start walking in one direction and try my luck or continue to stay here so I won't get even deeper into the forest. The cold and the darkness lulled me to drift off, and the next thing I noticed was a panicked voice shouting my name and warm hands on my shoulders.

I opened my eyes lazily to meet a set of worried and relieved chocolate brown eyes. Paul.

"What are you doing here? Isn't it dinnertime?" I asked, still half asleep.

A fleeting smile crossed his lips, but it didn't last long before a worried frown set in again. More awake now, I noticed that he was pulling me into his lap as he sat down on the forest floor.

"I would come to you no matter what time of day it is." He mumbled softly in my hair in a volume that wasn't meant for me to hear.

The warmth that radiated off of him was comforting, and I absentmindedly snuggled into his chest. We stayed that way, lost in time, until a howl pierced through the silence. I jumped, and Paul, sensing my alarm, brushed his hand down my arm.

Sighing, he moved to stand up, steadying me on my feet gently. It was then that I snapped out of my gaze and realized how intimate the moment of us holding each other had been. I felt the strong blush rushing full speed in my cheeks, all the while glad that the darkness would hide it. Paul seemed to have realized this situation too, and he suddenly crouched toward my eye level.

"What the hell were you doing in the forest, at night, all alone?" He asked with a tense and angry tone.

"I was taking a stroll, but I got lost." I answered feebly. I was feeling guilty for being reckless, but people do stupid things all the time right?

"Kayley, it isn't safe to be along in the woods. Don't do this ever again." He said sternly.

Now I was getting annoyed. Who is he to tell me what I can and cannot do? I mean, sure, he was just looking out for me, but how dangerous can the woods be? I can't believe he is treating me like a child too.

"I can take care of myself, thank you very much." I replied, making sure to sound angry.

"Well, enlighten me, what were you going to do if I didn't show up?"

"I would've…I would've thought of a plan." Usually I have better comebacks, but I was too tired to fully function. I swayed slightly but caught myself before I could show any suggestion of being weak. No need to assure him in any ways.

"Argh, Kayley,I…" His face scrunched up in anguish, and his ran his hand through is black hair roughly. He looked like he was in some sort of pain, and I instantly felt guilty. After all, he did rescue me...not rescue! He came to lend a hand. I should probably be more civil. I slowly reached out to touch his arm, but the touch seem to do more damage than good, for he tensed up and widened his eyes with surprise.

Without taking my hand off his arm, I said, "Thanks for coming to get me, but I really don't take well to people telling me what to do."

His eyes softened a bit, and stared at my hand on his arm. I swayed again, coldness and exhaustion overtaking me slowly. When was the last time I took the medicine?

He noticed, and moved to sweep me back in his arm like I weighed nothing. I protested, but it was only half-heatedly because his warmth was too comfortable to reject. He began to walk towards what I presume to be the house, and I tried not to rest my head on his chest to show my displeasure. He shifted however, and raised me to a level where my head was tucked under this chin. I thought about how awkward being in this position should make me feel, after all, I barely knew him. But somehow, I could not muster any sense of discomfort being tucked warmly in his arms.

We remained silent, to which I was grateful for. I really didn't know what to think of the intimate moments we shared today, and I truly didn't want to admit how my resolve to stay the hell away from him was crumbling by the minute.

We reached a clearing finally, and I saw the little white house. The lights were on, and I groaned.

"What, whats wrong?" Paul asked worriedly.

"I really don't want to explain anything to anyone right now, but I know that I am in for an Uley lecture once I step into the house. " Really, if Ryan ran off for a month, nobody would scold him. Me? I disappear for a few hours and they let the hounds on me.

"Maybe you deserve it. Do you know how important your safety is?"

"Like I keep stating, I can take care of myself." I made to jump out of his arm, and his face reflected my reluctance to let go. I didn't have time to dwell of that however, because familiar voices started shouting my name. I sighed heavily, and walked towards my doom.