Disclaimer: I do not own anything that isn't mine. Naruto and all related characters aren't mine, as well as whatever other concepts I might borrow. This story is mine, as well as whatever original situations and characters contained therein unless otherwise specified. And no, I don't like disclaimers.

Author's note: There is a bit of a fight in later this chapter. When you, the reader, gets to it, remember one simple detail: At this point in the timeline, Naruto's hand to hand skills were pretty much garbage. And from Kiba's comments in the Chuunin Preliminaries, it could be inferred that Naruto got beaten in fights during his time in the Ninja Academy by everyone, or at least by a lot of people. There is no proof of co-ed sparring, so I won't go there. If he had been a good fighter, I doubt his fellow graduates would have underestimated or badmouth him as much as they did, because then he'd have something going for him at least.

"Dialogue"

'thoughts'

'Inner Sakura'

Chapter 3

Uchiha Sasuke was not amused. The fact notwithstanding that he hadn't been amused by anything in a very long time, he couldn't be happy at all with his situation at the moment.

Some of it might have to do with the girl beside him, since she wouldn't leave him alone for a few minutes. Yes, she most definitely is contributing to his progressively worsening mood. He just couldn't fathom why he had gotten assigned with the two most annoying and useless people in his class.

At that moment, he rather wished he had been assigned to Team 8. Sure, Kiba was just as loud as that usuratonkachi Naruto, but at least he was a decent fighter and might provide some semblance of a challenge when sparring, for a while anyways. Shino…was so reserved he knew next to nothing of him. But he'd trade the pink haired fan girl he was saddled with for the Aburame any day. At least he was quiet.

The annoying girl, Sakura, seemed to have given up for the moment in trying to strike conversation over the most trivial things, and quieted down. Thank goodness. He could finally think of more productive things. But it seemed that all that came to mind were his most recent aggravations. Damnation.

He just didn't know what to think about his new 'teacher'. It was certainly embarrassing to watch him get pelted with an eraser of all things, and after his declaration that a jounin wouldn't fall for such a stupid trick, too. So much for being a supposedly elite ninja; apparently, not only were his so-called teammates useless, but he was assigned to an incompetent instructor as well! He really hoped against hope that his situation wasn't as bad as it seemed, and that his new instructor might actually have something, anything worth learning. He still hadn't seen him in action, so he might not be completely worthless.

'Right, and… that man… will just die by falling on a spork without me lifting a single finger,' he thought rather sarcastically. Sasuke immediately changed the direction of his brooding before he got to thinking about the person he hated the most in the world. So he curbed his train of thought to the person who aggravated him the most in the world.

How, oh how did the blond loser manage to get a headband? He knew the idiot had failed graduation again. He shouldn't have been there for team assignments, and by extension, shouldn't have been assigned to any genin cell, much less the one he was part of. It just shouldn't have happened! But he was a genin anyhow, despite how impossible it should have been, and a thorn in his side once more.

As embarrassed as he might have been at his new sensei's apparent ineptitude, he was downright ashamed that a person that was supposed to be nothing but hot air caught him by surprise. And how did he make solid clones?!

There were several things he couldn't puzzle out from that…encounter. Like why Naruto used Henge to change into a perfect replica of himself. Or why he instigated the whole skirmish in the first place.

Maybe it had something to do with why Sakura was acting a bit stranger than usual, if not the cause. In any case, when he had cornered the dead last, he didn't get anything important out of him, although he was amused that all of his clones and his original self had gotten the sudden urge to… relieve themselves, all at the same time. He was definitely in a better mood after watching Naruto making a fool out of himself again, even if it was for a short while.

Earlier, when he met Sakura outside before facing Naruto again, he asked her about their blond idiot of a teammate. She was slightly confused at first, but then started berating the blond with a smile on her face, probably from the fact that he was even talking to her at all.

Then she went out of her way to insult Naruto a bit with things related to him being an orphan and alone and how they were responsible for how he turned out.

Needless to say, she had hit a very sensitive spot, and even if he didn't particularly like anything about Naruto, he wasn't about to let this ignorant fool shoot off her mouth about things she didn't understand anything about. "You're annoying" he had told her after some hard words, with as much disgust as he could muster in his voice. And speaking of the pink-haired headache…

"Where is that baka Naruto?" Haruno Sakura complained, seeing as any attempt at conversing with the object of her affections was an exercise in futility…for now. They were at the appointed meeting place, the training site where they were supposed to perform Kakashi's survival test. Neither their sensei nor the blond annoyance that was supposed to be her other teammate had arrived yet. But if it meant more time alone with her Sasuke-kun…

"Ohayo, Sakura-chan!"

'Damn it, does that idiot have to keep ruining everything?! SHANAAAROOO!!!'

Why did she resolve to be nicer to him again? Maybe she was feeling down after Sasuke shot her down yesterday. Quite harshly, too. She never expected her crush, Uchiha Sasuke of all people, to chew her out in Naruto's defense.

Her resolve to treat him nicer evaporated when they had to wait three hours for their sensei to arrive in the classroom. Even if her 'Inner Self' appreciated the prank he pulled on their tardy sensei the day before, she was still annoyed by his advances.

Naruto was only a few minutes late, but Kakashi had yet to appear. So they waited.

And waited.

And waited some more…

Over two hours later…

Kakashi finally made his appearance. "Good morning, students."

Naruto and Sakura voiced their displeasure at the tardiness of their aloof teacher.

"YOU'RE LATE!!!"

It is one thing to be grounded by your parents for staying out too late. It is another thing entirely when you get confined to your hospital room 'for examination', all because you nearly missed curfew. What a lame excuse, thought Orion.

The fact that the hospital was run by ninjas for the most part, made any escape from the institution of healing quite difficult for the average patient.

Then again, one patient had to be grateful for being stuck in the hospital. He had a lot to think about. For one thing, his 'condition' was acting up like it hadn't in years. That made him an object of curiosity among many of the hospital personnel. After all, how many cases had anyone ever witnessed of someone whose energy flow had unstable portions in parts of their bodies? Or that those portions could cause the person physical damage when they occasionally fluctuated out of control?

The fact that a person shouldn't be harmed by their own chakra without it being manifested by an attack technique of some sort didn't help. At least with attack spells it could be understandable, as a careless caster ran the risk of having their techniques backfire, causing gross bodily harm and, in extreme cases, death.

Even with the regulator seals Orion crafted in place, his body still hadn't recovered completely. He was more worried about when he would be healthy enough to travel and go find his friends. But the way things are going, he'd have to wait until they found him instead. All in all, that might be the right choice. But it didn't make waiting any less tedious, especially with all the poking and prodding they did on him during his rather frequent examinations. 'Yeah, right, examinations…I'm starting to feel more like a guinea pig than a patient…' Orion thought a bit bitterly.

He also thought about some of the people he'd met. Some of the guards who found him actually came by to see how he was. It was always nice for someone to wish for you to recover your health, even when they were pretty much total strangers. Then, the old Hokage also came to mind. The loud blond boy and the dark, shy girl soon occupied his thoughts, especially the latter person. Even if he had met the girl, Hinata, first, rather than the boy, he had to admit that she and Naruto contrasted interestingly with their demeanors and personalities.

Speaking of Naruto, Orion wondered how the test was going.

Things were not going the way he wanted, no sir. Getting sent flying through the air by a super powerful butt poke, a supposed combat technique from a man who ignored you to read a porn novel was just… wrong.

Even with breakfast in his belly, Naruto wasn't making any progress at all. He was just too pissed at the man, who refused to take any of them seriously. In retrospect, the young demon vessel shouldn't have let his sensei rile him up.

But waiting nearly three hours for his teacher to show up did away with whatever self-control the hot-headed youth might have. And now, his teammates, who were hiding in the trees, had just gotten a very good showing of their sensei totally humiliating Naruto without even trying.

As nice as it was to watch Naruto getting silenced by their sensei's prowess, Sasuke and Sakura knew that they were going to have a difficult time if they wanted to pass. At least that is what Sakura thought. As always, Sasuke was confident that he would be able to pass this test and perhaps be rid of the two nuisances that were supposed to be his teammates.

Unfortunately, he only gave Kakashi marginally more trouble than Naruto did, even if said margin was quite wide. That Katon technique was unexpected to say the least, and his hand-to-hand skills were good for his age.

The ex-ANBU decided in the end to put the 'last Uchiha' out of his misery by burying him up to his neck in the dirt, much to the proud genin's indignant fury and utter humiliation.

And Sakura? She fell for a genjutsu, an illusionary technique that made her see a horribly mangled vision of Uchiha Sasuke pleading for her help. She fainted right afterwards. Then she fainted again when she saw Sasuke 'beheaded' on the ground. Very disappointing for a kunoichi.

The alarm clock rang out, signaling the end of the test. The score was: Kakashi 3, Genins 0. And none of them had been able to get a single bell. It was time for a lecture, Kakashi style.

"You guys should just quit as ninjas. None of you have what it takes!"

That didn't go well with the proud Uchiha, who took this insult to his abilities very seriously. His attack on the jounin was foiled once more, and Kakashi enjoyed a new brooding pillow to sit on.

Ignoring the protests of the pink haired girl, he went and pointed out everything they did wrong, starting with the true purpose of the test. At the start, Kakashi told his students that they were required to take a bell from his belt to pass. There were only two bells, so one of them would invariably fail. At least that is what they thought. In the end, they were all so focused on getting a bell and passing that they didn't properly analyze the situation.

They were just three fresh genin from the academy. No matter how good they might have been individually, there was no way any of them could be able to take on a jounin on their own yet. For the fledgling shinobi to even get one bell, they had to work together to achieve the mission parameters.

In order to pass, they had to be willing to put aside their own interests for the good of the team. And so far... they screwed up.

"Sakura, instead of helping Naruto, who was closer to you, you were only thinking of Sasuke, who was far away. Naruto!! You were too busy trying to show me up and just ran around all over the place without thinking things through!" If Sasuke was enjoying hearing his teammates receiving that harsh criticism, despite his current position, it wasn't known, as Kakashi targeted him last. "Sasuke, you just assumed everyone would get in your way, and tried to do everything yourself!"

Things were not looking up for the would-be genins. Fortunately, Kakashi was going to give them another chance. And Naruto, being the one tied to the post, was not to touch a single piece of food as punishment for the attempted theft of the bentos earlier.

Naruto couldn't believe his luck. He had been thoroughly humiliated during the whole test. First, he couldn't even land a single strike on the scarecrow. Then, the failed ambush with his clones after landing on the water from that… attack from his sensei, since Kakashi used the substitution technique with one of his clones. Then, he stupidly believed that he had merely used henge and that Kakashi had disguised himself as one of his clones. He and his duplicates had started to beat up on each other before he finally dispelled them.

He felt like a total idiot for not doing that before. Naruto hated feeling like an idiot.

Adding insult to injury, he never even thought of checking for traps when he found a bell conveniently on the ground. To his credit, he did get a bad feeling just before he tried to snag the bell, but it came too late. Then he found himself being lectured by his new sensei about seeing "underneath the underneath", while hanging upside down from his foot, no less!

Back then, he had inwardly dismissed what Kakashi had said as nonsense. He did get down from the noose, only to discover that the trap he fell to was double layered. If that wasn't enough, he had the bright idea to steal the bentos the scarecrow left behind at the posts, even when he wasn't that hungry. He just wanted to get back at his sensei for making a fool out of him. Apparently, his desperation had driven off whatever common sense he might have had, since Kakashi caught him with no difficulty whatsoever and tied him to the post he was at currently.

When the scarecrow jounin started talking about the memorial stone, Naruto put his foot in his mouth once more for asking Kakashi to put his name in said stone when he became a great ninja. The same stone where the heroes who died in battle had their names engraved on.

He felt even more like a heel when the jounin mentioned his best friend's name being inscribed there as well. Also, as loathe as he might have been to admit it, the hobo had been right all along.

However, at this very moment, the unthinkable was happening; Sasuke was offering him his own food! "Wha-what are you doing?"

"I don't sense Kakashi-sensei anywhere, and you'll need your strength or you'll just get in the way." If that wasn't surprising on its own, Sakura followed Sasuke's lead and offered her bento as well.

Naruto had to decline, though. "Eh-heh, it's okay. I kinda forgot not to eat breakfast today, so I'm fine. You guys need it more than I do."

They looked at him like he had grown a second head. Well, Sakura did at least; Sasuke just raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

A few moments later, Kakashi came barreling through the clearing where the three posts and the memorial stone were located at, and the genin feared the worst.

A minute or so later after their strange scarecrow of a teacher had declared them officially Genin Cell Seven, Naruto was a bit miffed. It wasn't because he was pissed that his sensei had played them from the start. He took Kakashi's words of 'those who left their comrades to die being worse than scum' to heart. No, it was because his sensei decided to leave him tied up a bit longer in the pole while everyone else went away!!!

Then he tried to get Sakura to go out with him after she got shot down by Sasuke, only to be met by her fist…again.

Some time after he dismissed his genins, Hatake Kakashi got curious. Very curious, in fact. It wasn't because he was filled with disbelief that he actually passed a genin team. In fact, he was happy that he had a team that could be worth his time in the long run. It was about time, in his opinion.

Even though his team banded together against him only after he lectured them about the meaning of the test, he was certain that after some time together they would start getting along better and work as a team from Hidden Leaf Village should. That might prove challenging, especially when taking into account the very different personalities of his students. Considering the somewhat odd assortment he was given this time around, it was bound to take a lot of work.

First up, Uchiha Sasuke, the Top Rookie of this year's class, came to mind. He was the only Uchiha left that was still loyal to Leaf Village. His elder brother, Itachi, killed off everyone else, including his and Sasuke's parents. He was obsessed with avenging his clan and killing his brother. Very antisocial and sure of his skills to the point of viewing his fellow genin as being beneath him, at least, those from his own class, Sasuke might be the most resistant to any sort of incorporation into team dynamics of any type.

Second was Haruno Sakura, a kunoichi and contender for the spot of #1 Fan Girl in the Uchiha Sasuke Fan Club ™. She had the highest book smarts in the graduating class, but sadly, her practical skills were only so-so. She was obsessed with winning the last Uchiha's heart, and seemed to put more effort into looking pretty than in training. Hopefully, being in the same team as the object of her affections might break whatever daydreams she might have and she might then put an effort in being a kunoichi.

And third up was one Uzumaki Naruto. Now he was closer to the source of his curiosity. The worst student to graduate from the academy in many years, Naruto was supposed to have flunked out once more after he failed in his third attempt to pass when he couldn't produce a decent bunshin. Then the fiasco with the Forbidden Scroll occurred, and he came out of it with his life and the ability to perform the nigh-forbidden Kage Bunshin technique. That was certainly surprising on it's own, and was awarded his leaf headband for it. His dream was to become Hokage, but enough about that.

In all the times he had been asked to take on a team, no one had ever disregarded his 'order' of forgoing breakfast for the test. But he did. Kakashi wasn't naïve enough to believe that Naruto just forgot the warnings he gave the day before. The loud blond actually did what no one else had on purpose. And the famed Copycat Ninja had to admit that it was like an itch that just wouldn't stop bothering you until you put some ointment on it. Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that bad, but he was still curious.

Maybe he could talk to the boy's academy instructor for some more information on the enigma that was Naruto at a later date, or get some more info from Hokage-sama himself. Of course, maybe he should do the most obvious thing to satisfy his curiosity; go to the blond knucklehead himself.

And that is what the legendary Hatake Kakashi, Elite Jounin of the Hidden Leaf Village and former ANBU squad captain, master of a thousand jutsus and one of the most feared ninja in the world was doing, tailing his 'most interesting student' using minimal stealth. Considering the skill level of the blond, he would never be able to tell he was being followed, so the jounin was safe from any detection from his quarry.

And then Maito Gai appeared.

"AH, MY ETERNAL RIVAL KAKASHI!!"

Of course, said jounin couldn't help but curse his luck. He was one of the few who had the misfortune of attracting the attention of the eccentric Gai for this or that reason.

If a person were to meet Gai, they would at best be just a little weirded out. At worst, they would wish they had never met him. Picture a tall, muscular man, wearing a bright green spandex bodysuit that was thankfully loose on his frame, a standard issue chuunin flak vest, and orange colored leg warmers that matched with nothing but the orange leaf forehead protector he wore as a belt. Okay, so they didn't match with that either. To top off this unbelievable fashion faux pas, was an ugly bowl cut that did nothing to hide or distract from his incredibly thick eyebrows. If that wasn't enough, he was very loud and obnoxious most of the time and overly enthusiastic about his… passions. Many have wondered how could a man like him could survive as a ninja long enough to advance to the jounin rank. Kakashi was not one of those people. At least, he wasn't most of the time.

"I heard the joyous news that you finally passed a genin team and wanted to congratulate you…"

By this point, the legendary Copycat Ninja started trying to tune out the rambling of the boisterous jounin and self-appointed rival of his person. This couldn't have happened at a worse time! Gai was sure to spout some of his 'flames of youth' nonsense and might challenge him to another ridiculous competition like he did at times. At least that 'mini-me' he had for a protégé wasn't with him at the moment, or things might have gotten a lot worse. Suffice to say, he had the misfortune of witnessing one of their… moments, some time ago. He was still recovering from the mental wounds.

Normally, Kakashi would just ignore Gai, which could send the green spandex-clad jounin into a rant on how 'hip and cool his eternal rival is', most of the time without fail. Needless to say, he didn't feel like doing that right now.

"Gai, do you mind? I am in the middle of something here," he said with as much annoyance as he could muster against the other man's antics. The good news was that Naruto hadn't noticed the racket caused that the eccentric Taijutsu specialist caused. The bad news was that Naruto was no longer in sight. That could be taken in one of two ways for the new sensei.

It could be taken as a good thing, because he still had no idea how to approach Naruto about his actions before getting to the appointed meeting site, and also as a bad thing because he really had no idea were the blond loudmouth was going to go, if he wasn't heading to his apartment.

"Ah, so you're on a mission! Where are your adorable students? I didn't expect you to start missions with them so soon!"

Kakashi couldn't help but cringe at the adjective Gai chose to describe his genins. In fact, he secretly hoped that he wouldn't have to show his students to this man any time in the near future. "I haven't."

Before he could figure how to word whatever reason he could have used in that very unusual situation he was in, Gai set off again. Kakashi really didn't feel like dealing with this right now. In his defense, he could say that he was desperate and couldn't think of anything else to solve the small dilemma he was in.

Five hours later, Maito Gai woke up inside a dumpster in an alleyway. When asked about it, he said he had no idea how he got there.

Kakashi had decided to do his snooping at a later date. He might have been known for being chronically tardy, but he did know better than to push his luck with the Sandaime Hokage. And besides, some interesting theories might pop up in conversation during the gathering with the other jounin sensei later that afternoon about how Gai managed to end up unconscious in a dumpster. Even if he was found out, the embarrassment the eccentric ninja would suffer would be worth whatever odd challenges the Taijutsu master would come up with later.

Had Naruto known he was being followed by his sensei, he never found out, and Kakashi didn't confront him about his disregard for the no eating advice, at least not yet. The next day, he was totally stoked and ready for action, as today was his first day as a Ninja of the Leaf.

By the end of the week, he was thoroughly cursing D-Rank missions and the people who requested them.

It didn't help that Naruto's upbringing, or lack of one, left him unprepared for doing most of the simple chores that they had to do in their missions, so he messed up quite frequently. Of course, that might actually have to do with the fact that he bumbled a lot trying to outdo Sasuke and impress Sakura, or just trying to outdo Sasuke. Not that it helped at all except to humiliate him and suffer the wrath of Sakura whenever he tried to "confront" the Uchiha about his "contributions" to Naruto's failures, to which the pink-haired girl would step in to defend Sasuke's honor against her annoying blond teammate. That usually ended up with Naruto being pummeled for the smallest things. All the while, Kakashi would…err… supervise them, with that novel of his in hand whenever possible.

All in all, the boy who wanted to be Hokage was re-thinking whatever admiration he might have held for his pervert of a sensei. He was a ninja now, damn it, not some lazy villagers errand boy! Unfortunately, it would be a while before he would ever go on a mission higher than D-Ranked. So they trained, in which Naruto would receive the most lectures from the members of his cell when he messed up, and in which Sasuke would trounce him during spars, much to the boy's eternal dismay.

His team was done with missions for the day, so he went to his apartment for a bit to look for his new throwing knives and take them to a training ground he frequented. He still hadn't been taught the trick to the weapons by that 'Olie-oni' guy, but he had been kept busy with the stupid D-rank missions and hadn't so much as seen him since he had bought the knives. He couldn't see what was so special about them aside from the odd engravings they had. Whatever, they were still good for target practice. So he took the bandolier to a secluded spot with plenty of target dummies that he frequented. He never noticed he had company.

Hinata had gone to the training ground Naruto frequented after she was done with her team's last mission for the day. She wanted some time to herself before she returned to the clan compound. This was one of her favorite spots to think, and she would practice her accuracy with her Kunai and Shuriken from time to time.

She hadn't thought about looking for Naruto today. She hadn't had much of a chance to do so since they became genin. Life, however, has been known for throwing things your way when you least expect it. Like always, she hid behind a tree when she found Naruto practicing in the range. Like always, she wished she was strong enough to speak with him.

Unlike always, there was someone behind her while she was behind the tree.

"You know, if you want to talk to him, you actually have to, you know, talk to him."

She quickly turned back to look at the source of the voice. There, wearing his ever present dark clothes, hefting that huge backpack of his and leaning on his black cane, was Orion. He had an unreadable expression on his features, at least from what could be seen through his bangs.

By the time Naruto noticed anyone behind him, Hinata was long gone. "Hey, it's you! What are you doing here?" the blond asked.

"Huh? Just walking around the village a bit. Looking around and stuff. This place is a lot bigger than I thought."

To Naruto, Orion had seemed distracted at first and was focusing on a spot in the distance before Naruto called out to him. He closed the distance somewhat and took his huge pack down to the ground before sitting down.

"How the heck do you lift around that thing around? It's fricken heavy, isn't it?" Naruto asked. Orion did some light stretching of his torso before replying to Naruto's inquiry.

"I'm used to it. Besides, I might have to get something bigger so I can carry more merchandise," the peddler said as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Naruto didn't seem to think so, apparently.

"WHA-AT?!?! Bu-but that thing is HUGE!!! And you want to get a bigger one, are you crazy?!" he yelled, pointing at the long haired boy with a shaking hand and a bugged out expression of total surprise and disbelieve, all directed at the taller boy.

Orion said nothing; he got up from where he was sitting took the backpack with one hand and walked towards Naruto, dragging the load along the ground. What he did next was the most unexpected thing the blond had ever witnessed that day.

"Put it on," and with that, he left it in front of Naruto, who was quite bewildered at the moment.

He looked to the pack's owner, the pack itself, and back several times. While Orion was about as tall as the jerk Sasuke, the pack he used to stash his supplies and merchandise was easily big enough to fit Konohamaru comfortably inside, at least, that was what the orange clad genin thought.

"No way… you're kidding me, right? THERE'S NO WAY I CAN LIFT THAT HUGE THING!! YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!!!" Orion just cocked his head to one side, while Naruto wondered if the guy in front of him was touched in the head.

"Aren't you a ninja?" he asked.

By now, Naruto was getting very confused. What was up with this guy? "Yeah, so what if I am? You knew that already, or did ya forget?!" he said, crossing his arms and regaining what little composure the blond boy could. Really, what was up with this guy?

"It's not like I'm asking you to be my pack mule; I want to see if you are strong enough to lift it. Ninjas are supposed to be stronger than ordinary people, after all." Naruto's inability to back down from a challenge where he could (sort of) prove himself as a shinobi was working in Orion's favor.

Naruto was glaring at the innocent Backpack. He was gritting his teeth and uttering a low growl. "You want to see how strong I am? FINE!!!" And so the genin faced up against his latest adversary…

Had Hinata stayed, she would have seen another example of the determination that attracted her to Naruto. Well, it was just lifting a heavy backpack, but it was a heavy backpack the self appointed Next Hokage was going to heft in his back no matter what it took. He was going to show Orion he was strong! And Hinata too, except Naruto wouldn't have noticed.

A few moments later, she would have witnessed him tripping on his feet and being crushed under the weight of the backpack. At least he managed to take three steps with it properly strapped to his back. Orion decided to take his burdens off of the smaller boy's shoulders.

"Aaah, here, let me help you up."

The Sandaime Hokage was taking a short break from signing paperwork in his office at the moment. He decided to do his regular check on Naruto to make sure he was alright. Using his viewing globe, he could see the happenings of the entire village from his seat at the office. Considering how busy he was, it was the only way he could keep track of Naruto a lot of the time.

Thankfully, he had yet to commit another prank ever since becoming a genin. So things were quiet, except when it came to mission assignments. Oh, Naruto was completely disappointed that he wouldn't be getting any serious missions just yet. And he wouldn't either for a very long time (but the young demon vessel didn't know that yet...).

Then, he saw the situation Naruto was in. He shook his head slightly at the scene playing out at the moment. "Naruto, what did you get into now?" Whatever ponderings he might have had at the moment were interrupted by a knock on his office doors. He dispelled the jutsu he was using to activate his crystal ball before allowing whoever was knocking to enter. It wouldn't do to allow just anyone to see his viewing globe in action.

Once he dismissed the messenger, he opened the scroll to read the message. "From Hidden Sand Village, and from the Kazekage as well…what could this be about…?"

"Hey, what are you doing?! Put me down!! Are you listening?! Hey!!"

When Orion said he would help Naruto up, he wasn't expecting this. Helping someone up when they fall usually means getting them back on their feet and their faces off the ground had they been in contact with it, as well as the rest of their body. Instead, Orion hefted the backpack up from the top strap along with the necks of both Naruto's orange and blue jacket and the shirt he wore, even though it couldn't be seen, with one hand. And the arm that hand was attached to was raised clear over the larger boy's head.

The result? Naruto was dangling off the ground like a puppy being picked up from the loose skin around his neck. Several inches off the ground. It didn't really help that Orion decided to lower and raise Naruto and the back a couple of times consecutively, never letting Naruto's sandaled feet touch the forest loam.

"You might be right, Naruto-san. Getting a bigger pack is probably going to be a problem. Maybe I should get a cart. What do you think?"

"OKAY, FINE, JUST PUT ME DOWN ALREADY!!!"

"Are you sure you want that, Naruto-san?" Orion asked, in a tone of voice one might use for discussing something completely normal, which of course, was nothing in this situation at all. Naruto wasted no time to reply with the same loud annoying voice that is his trademark in the minds of many in the village, none of whom particularly like him.

"OF COURSE I'M SURE, NOW LET ME GO!!!" If he didn't touch the ground in the next ten seconds, Naruto was contemplating trying to send a kick back towards the guy who put him in this position and hopefully hit a very sensitive spot.

The larger boy just shook his head slightly, not that Naruto noticed. "Actually, if I just let go, you probably wouldn't be able to balance properly, which means you'd either fall on the pack face up, or you could get squashed again, eating dirt. So… do you want me to do it right, or do you want to get squashed?"

His nonchalance would have probably sent Naruto on another tirade. That is, if the blond in question hadn't just started to panic in fear of getting crushed under the huge back pack all over again.

"The right way, THE RIGHT WAY!!!"

"Sure thing, Naruto-san," and with that, the shorter boy's feet finally returned to the ground. Orion helped relieve him of his burden and took his pack again like he didn't just do something out of the ordinary.

Unfortunately, Naruto's wasn't about to forget what just happened. "You… YOU…WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!"

Orion didn't really have a drastic change in expression, unless you counted the slight quirk of his lips in amusement as one. He was thankful he was in a rather good mood. Otherwise, his patience wouldn't probably be up to the task of dealing with an easily excitable and irritable person like the boy in front of him. He shrugged. "I guess I was curious about how much you weighed."

Naruto did not take that that explanation very well. "WHAT?! You did that to see how much I weighed?! You could have just asked me, you hobo!!"

Silence. A raised eyebrow. "Aren't you more curious about how I lifted you and my pack clear off the ground when the combined weight is probably heavier than me?" he asked the blond. "And don't you have any better insults than to call me than hobo?" he asked mentally, getting a bit annoyed at Naruto's 'pet name' for him.

A delayed reaction, consisting of a frozen angry expression, a sudden shift to a wide-eyed, slack-jawed one, followed by a loud "SAY WHAT?!" and Uzumaki Naruto fell on his butt as soon as realization finally set in. Then he started scrutinizing the huge pack and the owner all over again. Repeatedly.

"Are you sure you are on the right career path, Naruto-san?" A somewhat intelligent and sensible question that Orion probably knew had a very high chance to set Naruto off into a rant. Sadly, Naruto didn't really understand the term 'career path', so instead his face took on a mildly confused, squinty-eyed expression and asked what the heck that meant.

Is this guy for real? Orion thought. And he wants to be the village leader? "You want me to explain what career path means? Well, it's like this…" Orion was fairly certain that Naruto would blow after his explanation. Where did he leave his aspirin?

True enough, after Orion's explanation of career paths was a trademark rant wherein Naruto would scold his "captive audience" about the error of their ways and why he would be Hokage that seemingly went on and on forever.

Well, it was actually about five or six minutes, but you get the point.

"…and then I'm going to… Hey are you listening?!" Naruto asked his current companion.

"…….zzzZZZZzzzz…"

Said companion had apparently fallen asleep after the first three minutes of the blond boy's 'I'm going to be Hokage and that's that' speech. That of course, probably saved him from that impending headache Naruto's loud voice might have caused him (he had left his aspirin behind).

Of course, Naruto wouldn't stand for being ignored like this. Then again, he couldn't stand being ignored, period. It happened quite often however, which only irritated him every time. So he did what he considered to be the right thing to do and bonk the sleeping Orion in the head like Sakura had done to him so many times in the past. That would teach him not ignore him!

He walked up to the long haired boy. He clenched his fist. He cocked his right arm in preparation for the strike. He aimed for his opponent's cranium, and attacked!

WHACK!!! "OW-OOF!!!...uugh…"

That… was Naruto's response as he was struck in the head by a black cane. Followed that strike, came a sweeping maneuver with the cane that made the genin eat dirt a second time, with a side dish of grass and dust for dessert for good measure. Before Naruto had the chance to get back up, the same cane kept him in a face down position, pressed on the back of his skull by one very awake Orion.

Whatever retort Naruto might have delivered was muffled down by his unfortunate mulch eating maneuver.

"What did you say? I think I'd better get you off the ground again, Naruto-san." So Orion did.

This time, Naruto was in no mood to banter or talk. His temper was flaring full force now. He'd had enough of this jerk. TIME TO KICK BUTT!!!

What followed afterwards, Naruto would always remember with some degree of embarrassment. Every punch he threw was blocked or swatted aside with the cane. Every kick met with the same fate. Desperate to score a hit, Naruto swung his fist – Orion dodged, and easily.

"HEY!!! QUIT" – punch – "SCREWING AROUND" – kick – "SO I CAN HIT'CHA," – left hook –

"JERK!!!" he yelled during his latest attempts in landing a blow, his frustration rising all the while.

"But if I do that," – block – "you could actually hit me!" – block – "Why would I want to let you hit me," – dodge – "Naruto-san?" There was the tiniest hint of amusement in Orion's voice.

"SHUT UP!!!" Naruto's mood was getting steadily worse as the "fight" dragged on. He decided to go aerial in the end. Since attacks on the ground weren't working, a good flying kick on the head would knock him down! And then he'd make the hobo pay!

He backed away from his opponent. Then, Naruto went on a running start, giving a battle cry all the while, and launched to the air. Victory was going to be his at last – he was sure!

The attack was sidestepped with ease. Before Naruto even made it one foot past his target, Orion swung his cane upwards, right at the Achilles tendon of the leg used for the kick. Unable to stop himself, the blond boy was sent on a backwards spin. When he fell, his anger dissipated almost instantly. Then, shock and confusion.

"You know, Naruto-san, you really aren't putting much of a convincing argument of being qualified to be shinobi, especially with sloppy attacks like those," said Orion to the blond boy's prone form. He met with no resistance when he helped the genin to his feet once more.

Naruto was in a daze for a few moments. He didn't land a hit. He didn't land ONE SINGLE HIT! Fighting Sasuke, he could always connect from time to time. Sometimes, they were just glancing blows; most of the time his attacks were blocked or dodged by the more skilled Uchiha.

But this time… Not even a glancing blow. For some reason, it hurt his pride worse than when Kakashi-sensei had fought circles around him during that bell test a week back.

"DAMN IT!!" Naruto's anger was directed at himself this time. He just couldn't understand! He was the one supposed to kick butt here, not some damn… damn… HOBO!! Before he knew, he was on his knees, punching at the unoffending grass, muttering curses all the while.

"Hey, Naruto-san, you okay?"

The taller boy's words brought the frustrated genin out of his rampage on the defenseless forest loam. His anger and frustration were large, but he couldn't bring himself to strike at his "adversary" again, despite that his attention was focused on Orion once more.

"NO! I'm NOT okay, you damned hobo!" Naruto screamed at Orion, mistaking the other boy's concern for pity. "Just back off, alright?! Leave me alone!"

But Orion did not leave Naruto alone. Instead, he sat on the ground in front of the angry ninja's location, unconcerned by the blond's wrath. "Attacking me was a very stupid thing to do." The scolding tone in which he spoke was subtle, but not even Naruto could miss it.

"So what?! If you hadn't ignored me I wouldn't have attacked you, you jerk!" The miffed genin said, almost growled, in response.

Orion just shook his head. "No, you didn't have to attack me even if I was ignoring you. If you go attacking anyone who doesn't pay attention to you, people are either going to keep ignoring you, or avoid you altogether. Then nobody is going to listen to anything you say at all. You sure you want that, Naruto-san?"

No, of course Naruto didn't want that, but he was angry with this guy at the moment, so he isn't going to say so. "Grrrrr…Sh-shut up, just shut up! If you aren't leaving, then I will!" He didn't even make it off the ground where he was kneeling, as he had gotten busy discovering why the artisan's cane had such an unusual shape to it.

Naruto, the boy who went up against a traitorous chuunin without hesitation, who, in just a few hours one night, learned a forbidden technique that would have harmed any ordinary genin, was frozen on the spot when he found himself with the edge of an unconcealed blade aimed at his neck.

"If I had been an enemy, Naruto-san, I might have done a lot worse than just give you a love tap in the head." And with that, Orion stood up once more, sheathing his blade and transforming it into a cane once more. "Attacking an opponent without an idea of what they are capable of is likely to make you end up dead in the wrong situations." And with that, he walked away from the flabbergasted boy, heading in the direction of one of the targets Naruto had been using earlier.

Whether or not he was aware of Orion moving away, Naruto didn't show. He had put a hand to where the concealed blade touched the skin of his neck. It was only when he saw a small amount of blood in his hand that it finally sunk in.

"YOU MEAN YOU HAD A SWORD THE WHOLE TIME!?"

"Hmm, if you are this slow to process information, maybe you really are in the wrong career path." Orion commented without looking back at his former customer. He had gone to one of the targets that Naruto had used the knives he had purchased from him a while back and plucked one of them out of the straw dummy. He'd have to ask the blond to tell him where he purchased the oil for his weapons. Upon inspecting the one currently in his hands, it didn't feel like very high quality stuff at all, but that might just be a bit of maker's pride talking.

"Oh, SHUT UP! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW YOU HAD A FREAKING SWORD!?" Naruto shouted out to the most recent candidate for the 'People I Got to Kick the Crap Out Of' list.

The taller boy finally turned to face the irate genin again still with the ornate throwing weapon in his hand. "…You know you are just making my point for me, don't you, Naruto-san." Orion said, resisting the urge to smirk when the other boy had gotten back to mumbling on the spot quite angrily. "Speaking of 'not knowing what you're dealing with is capable of'… Have you figured out the trick to the knives yet?"

"No, I haven't figured out the stupid trick you are talking about!" Naruto retorted angrily from where he was sitting. He wondered for a moment if the peddler had been pulling his leg all along. If he had, then he would really go on his List.

Then, Orion couldn't keep a grin from his face as he closed the distance towards the customer he just couldn't keep from angering this day. Naruto wondered if he should be scared or annoyed by that grin. When Orion got done, the answer would be neither one.

"Okay, Naruto-san. Watch this." And with a flourish, he extended the hand with the knife dramatically, surprising Naruto a bit, since he wasn't expecting such a display. Orion moved the throwing weapon so that the engravings on the metal could be seen by his audience.

Naruto did a double take when the engravings started glowing. "Wha…What are you doing!?"

Orion did not answer Naruto's question. Instead, he took aim to one of the straw dummies. He threw the weapon as hard as he could. The knife cut through the air with ease, heading straight for the target.

Naruto had tried to figure out what the supposed trick was with the knives several times in the past week. He never got far at all, but then again, all he did was trying different (if sloppy) methods and positions for throwing the knives. None of those had given any results, not that he even knew what results he was supposed to get. At most, their very light weight helped them travel a bit faster than his kunai.

Had Naruto actually thought of channeling his chakra on them before, then he wouldn't have been surprised when part of the straw dummy seemingly burst as soon as the knife made contact with the target. But he hadn't thought of channeling his energies into the knives before, and now, his surprise was all too apparent to anyone who saw his expression.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!" The blond yelled. Orion found it surprising that he hadn't fallen on his rear again. Instead, Naruto's face had an expression of earnest amazement and wonder, just like that of a very young child, which came after an expression of complete shock, of course. Moments like this made his job a lot more enjoyable.

"The engravings aren't just for decoration; they are runes, or what you people call seals around these parts," explained the maker of the odd weapons.

"Seals? Why would you put seals in these knives?" Naruto asked.

"Well… it's because putting seals allows weapons to do some very cool things. Like that shock wave thing the one I threw just did. Speaking of which…" and with that, Orion proceeded to look around the ground in search of something.

"Shock…wave? You mean that explosion thing?" asked Naruto. "How did you make it do that?"

"Well, making the grid itself was a bit fussy. I had to combine what I could of trap runes to get the "release upon impact" effect that I needed of them, and I had to forge them in this leaf shape to have more space to work with and make an appropriate rune sequence to… I lost you completely there, didn't I, Naruto-san?" Indeed, when Orion glanced after finally acquiring what he was looking for, Naruto's head was tilted to the left, with an eyebrow raised, and his mouth slightly open, a common expression of confusion.

"Huh? Uh…" Naruto shook his head a bit in order to clear the slight haze that seems to settle in some people when listening to something that goes way over their heads.

Orion looked at the knife he just picked up from the ground and started back towards Naruto. "Sorry about that, I guess I started getting technical for a bit. Come over here for a bit." He motioned with his right hand. The blond genin complied, not knowing what else the peddler would pull out of his sleeves. Heck, he kind of wanted to see what else he would pull off!

As soon as he got to where Orion was, the peddler started once more. "See the runes? The gist of it is that I made them so that they would store the energy you focus on them, and release it as soon as they hit something. However, because of the Shockwave, the knives won't stay were they hit. See? This is the same one I just threw."

"What?! But I thought it had exploded!" Naruto exclaimed, not understanding it at all. Orion just shook his head at the outburst, although not out of annoyance. If anything, he'd rather find the smaller boy's mood swings kind of amusing.

"Making an exploding knife like that would be too dangerous. You could get injured or killed by the shrapnel of the metal. Not good for the buyer or for sales." The long haired boy then handed the weapon back to its owner. "Any other questions, Naruto-san?" he asked.

"Yeah: these knives are so COOL!! Why the heck did you say they are for practice only?" Naruto was already thinking of ways to use those knives the next time he had practice with his team. Oh, yes, that would show Sasuke...

"Well, that's sort of because I haven't completely worked on a recall function yet… I'd rather not sell these knives for combat purposes without it." After a pause, Orion noticed that he'd gotten Naruto completely lost once more. "Never mind that Naruto-san, I'll just explain it to you later. Speaking of later…" the long haired boy took out a pocket watch and opened it to look at the time, not giving Naruto a chance to process his words. "Never mind, I still have some time left before my curfew. Say… how did your test with Kakashi go? I'd like to hear about it."

The grin that appeared on Naruto's face threatened to split his face. The happy expression looked a lot better than the cranky one, Orion thought. Unfortunately, it only lasted until Orion called him on his attempts at embellishment and exaggeration and actually got Naruto to tell the events as they happened, much to the genin's embarrassment.

Orion had decided to sit on the ground again to listen to the blond's story, and he was rather amazed that Naruto didn't get owned worse. Then again…

"He gave you a kancho… I can't believe you got ass-poked by that guy…"

That was REALLY embarrassing.

"Kancho? You mean the Sennen Goroshi?" Naruto asked. Just thinking about how his sensei got him with that technique made his eye twitch, like it was right now.

"Trust me, Naruto-san, that was no combat technique; Hatake-san really wasn't taking you seriously." Getting poked in there hard enough to be sent flying… must have been one powerful butt-poke, but really, the poke probably wasn't the reason he went flying Must have been some application of energy or something through the fingertips. What was Hatake really capable of when he got serious?

"What do you mean it wasn't a real technique? It really hurt!" Naruto protested against his current companion, his eyes wide in shock at the statement, not believing it wasn't a technique, even if it was such an embarrassing one.

"Naruto-san, just because you slap a fancy name on a move doesn't make it a technique. If he had used the…maneuver… to attach an explosive device in your rear end, it would be a somewhat different story." Of course, Naruto flinched at that one immediately. But there was a nastier one on the way. "Then again, if he had jabbed a kunai in there… You'd have a good hospital stay ahead of you." Even he had to shudder at that one.

Naruto was all but looking nauseated when the image processed in his mind. "Stop saying those weird things, you're freaking me out!"

"It could have been even worse, Naruto-san. A lot worse," said Orion, using a rather matter-of-factly tone that the blond didn't quite appreciate.

"What could be worse than…-gulp- getting an explosive tag, or-or a kunai in…in…there?!" spoke the bewildered Naruto. In response, Orion looked thoughtful. This started to worry Naruto.

"Well, Naruto-san, there's always an old fashioned decapitation maneuver. One moment, you are just looking around, and the next thing you know", Orion did a quick motion with his fingers across his own throat at this, "you are looking right at your feet, without looking down." By now, Naruto was looking pale and holding his neck with both hands. He was probably remembering the earlier incident with the cane sword. This reminded Orion of something. "Hey, Naruto-san, did I cut you earlier?"

Naruto was brought out of those awful images that were forming in his head as a result of the conversation by that last sentence, suddenly remembering the blood he had in his hand earlier. He went and pulled down the neck of his orange jacket, and indeed, there was a small blood stain in his neck from when he got acquainted with the business side of the hidden sword's blade. "Darn it, I had completely forgotten about it! Did any of it get on my clothes? This stuff is so hard to get out!"

"Nah, the cut wasn't very deep at all; it seems it was just a tiny scratch, so you won't have to worry about getting the blood out of your jacket or anything. Let me see if I have something to help clean you up, eh, Naruto-san?" As he turned to his large backpack once more, he glanced at Naruto and noticed his puzzled, squinty eyed expression. "Is something the matter, Naruto-san?"

"Yeah, what's with that 'san' stuff? I'm just Naruto, why can't you call me Naruto?" the blond genin asked. When Orion turned his head slightly to look at Naruto, his long bangs parted enough to show his raised eyebrow.

"That's all? It's good business sense to know how to treat your clients, Naruto-san. Referring to them in a respectful manner is part of that. Ah, here we go." Finally, he took a handkerchief and a bottle of water out. He opened the bottle and poured some of its contents on the handkerchief, giving it to Naruto afterwards. "Here, use this to clean the blood from your neck." The artisan made a mental note of how his customer's eyes brightened a bit at the mention of the word 'respect', before his face changed into a squinty eyed expression that made him look like a kitten. The slight pout didn't help much.

"I don't get you. I just don't get you!" Naruto blurted out while he was cleaning his neck up.

"That's okay; maybe I don't want you to get me, Naruto-san." He couldn't resist chuckling at the small glare he received from the smaller boy. It was refreshing to see someone who wore their heart on their sleeves, so to speak.

"You are so weird," retorted the blond genin, giving the handkerchief back to its owner.

"So says the ninja wearing orange," commented the peddler with as straight a face as he could while graciously accepting his dirty handkerchief back, awaiting the outburst he knew was sure to come.

"Well what's so great about those dark clothes of yours?!"

Yep, like clockwork. And speaking of clockwork, the taller boy took out his pocket watch once more. It was time to go.

"Hey, don't ignore me, you jerk!"

"Sorry, Naruto-san, but I have to go. I can't stay here and argue about clothes right now." Getting up from the ground, Orion hefted his oversized backpack and prepared to be on his way. "Take care of the Shockwave Knives; you are the only person I've sold them to, so don't lose them." And just like that, the boy with the cane sword and the huge burden on his back started going on his way.

"Huh? Hey, wait! I'm the only one that has them? Why?" Naruto asked their maker, pushing his "slight" irritation aside. As awesome as they were, he was sure this weird guy would be selling them easy. Why only to him?

"It's 'cause I didn't feel like giving them to anyone else, Naruto-san. Just wait until I finish the recall function on the next batch. I'll guarantee you'll like them." Naruto had a couple more words to say.

"Hey, are you a ninja too?"

Orion stopped and turned to face Naruto after hearing that. "No, I've never been a ninja in my life, and I'm fairly certain I wasn't born in a Hidden Village. Why do you ask?" From the way Naruto grimaced and broke eye contact, it seems to have been something that made him uncomfortable or very embarrassed.

"How…why are you so strong then? If you really aren't a ninja, then how come you are so strong?" Normally, such a question might not seem like much of a problem, especially one as simple as that. However, in the earlier fight, his pride was injured a lot. Being beaten in a fight was always a sore point for Naruto ever since his Academy days. And now he lost against someone who claimed he wasn't a ninja. That really stung.

He was almost expecting to be insulted, or being put down by the guy that beat him and made it look so easy, he had to deal with that before. He could deal with it again. He was caught of guard by what Orion did instead. He smiled.

"Well, since I'm obviously not an ordinary person, I guess I'm extraordinary instead! Ha-ha… Bye, Naruto-san!" Then he walked down the path he used to get to the shooting range, while making a mental countdown of the outburst that is sure to come. 'Five, four, three, two, one…"

"HEY!! YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION, YOU HOBO!!" Just like clockwork.

"Then that means we'll have something to talk about next time!" Orion yelled back from the distance, not bothering to look back this time.

Of course, this left Naruto a bit miffed. Then, he remembered the cool trick he was just shown. And he was still conveniently in the practice range, too, perfect for Naruto to try out his knives ability! 'Let's see…he said to channel energy into them. Did he mean chakra? Bah, I couldn't understand a lot of the things he talked about. Let's see if this works, or I'll kick his ass the next time!' Naruto looked at the weapon in his hand, determined to do what he saw the maker do before. There were still plenty of targets left, and they were sure to be replaced or repaired someday anyhow. 'Now, how do I do this..?'

Jogging at brisk space, despite the weight on his shoulders and back, Orion set out to get to the home of his current patrons. To be honest, he was thankful, really thankful that someone in this village let him in with them, for the moment at least, and that he wouldn't have to stay in that damn hospital anymore. Still, he didn't want to intrude on their hospitality more than was needed. He liked the family that took him in, and he did like working in their shop, but…

He'd feel better if he had a place of his own. He preferred privacy when working on his own projects, and he had several that he wanted to get back soon. Well, at least he was out of the hospital, until he had to go for the odd check-up sometimes. Orion knew the doctors didn't have the resources or the knowledge to deal with his condition. And he didn't feel like serving as their guinea pig for their medical annals.

He hated that feeling. He was interesting to them, and being interesting wasn't always a good thing, not when you ended up attracting the attention of the wrong people.

Sure, talking to people here and there, you'll hear a lot of good things about the Village Hidden in the Leaves. But despite that, it was still run, and inhabited, by fragile humans. And humans were known to ignore the negative aspects of things when it was convenient for them. Well, not all humans were like that, but if you look close enough, you might be surprised at the ugly things you could find, or the ugly things some people were willing to do for their own benefit.

While human experimentation was frowned upon pretty much everywhere, he was all but a foreign orphan in their eyes with no solid ties to the village. If Orion were to suddenly…"disappear", he'd doubted anyone would really miss him. And this was a ninja village, and ninjas were supposed to be good at being sneaky…

One might wonder what could lead a young boy to think things like that. Then again, while a ninja's life might be filled with much peril, in life, you don't have to be a ninja to experience the worst aspects of humanity. It would be foolish, to live under the notion that you had to actively put yourself in dangerous situations to find danger. However, that is neither here, nor there. Right now, his most immediate concerns weren't his health, his safety, or his privacy.

It was getting something to eat.

That's right. No thinking about loud customers, or shy girls, his missing companions, or even some of his projects that he wants to get back to, just food. The peddler was currently debating whether or not to stop somewhere on the way to eat, or order some takeout instead. That one Korean BBQ joint was something he had wanted to check out for a while now. And he did have some cash on hand so…

In the distance, Orion heard the unmistakable sound of a faint explosion. 'Crud, I forgot to tell him to be careful with how much power to put into them… Note to self, never sell dangerous instruments again without an instructional pamphlet.'

Closing notes: My third chapter is DONE!!! …well, I had wanted to cover more things, but this was such a good place to cut things off. Again, any constructive criticism is welcome. I also apologize for taking so long to update.

"Kancho" is a Japanese term referring to the butt poke that is the Sennen Goroshi, which is basically what the "technique" is in actuality.

"usaratonkachi" means 'thick as a hammer'. It is an archaic Japanese term equivalent to "knuckle head". It is a canon term used by Sasuke.