Chapter 4
Several hours later, Sam awoke and slowly turned her head, realizing she was in the infirmary. The room was quiet and all the lights were dimmed.
Dr. Brightman came into the room and noticed Sam looking around.
"Colonel, are you okay?"
"What happened?" Sam whispered.
"You were in an accident on your motorcycle. What's the last thing you remember?"
"I . . . uh . . . I remember getting on my motorcycle and leaving General O'Neill's house."
"You were struck by a truck when you left there."
"I was?"
"Yes."
Dr. Brightman filled her in on all her injuries and the surgeries she had been through.
"I was just going to go get some sleep but the nurses will be checking on you occasionally so let them know if you need anything."
As Dr. Brightman walked away, Sam stared at the ceiling and suddenly remembered the argument with Jack. Tears filled her eyes and she began to cry.
~oOo~
The next morning, Sam set up in bed, a tray of food in front of her. Dr. Brightman had told her she needed to eat to help get her strength back. After putting the last spoonful of oatmeal in her mouth, she took a sip of water as Jacob walked into the infirmary.
Sam set down the glass. "Dad, when did you get here?"
"George notified the Tok'ra on the day of the accident so I got here as fast as I could."
Before sitting down beside her, Jacob kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry this happened, sweetheart. How are you feeling?"
"Tired, very sore, hurts to breathe, slight headache and I don't have much of an appetite."
They talked for a few minutes about the accident but neither one mentioned the argument between her and Jack.
"Sam, I want to tell you something that I've already told George, Daniel, Jack and Teal'c."
Sam pushed the tray aside. "What is it?"
Jacob took Sam's hand in his. "I wanted to use the hand device so I could help you get well but I don't have Selmak any more."
Sam frowned. "Why not?"
Sam listened intently as Jacob told her what had happened.
"I'm sorry, Dad."
"I've decided to come home, Sam. Things between me and the Tok'ra had not been going well before Selmak was removed and now that he's gone, I really have no reason to stay. Besides, I want to be here with you while you're recovering."
They both looked up to see Daniel coming through the door, carrying a vase filled with flowers. Sam smiled as he set them down on the bedside table.
Daniel leaned over and gave Sam a quick kiss on her cheek.
"These are from Teal'c and me."
"That's so sweet. Thank you."
Daniel pulled up a chair and sat down. "Whatever you need, Teal'c and I are here for you."
Jacob let go of Sam's hand and stood up. "I haven't had breakfast yet so I'll give you two some time to chat. I'll be back soon."
As they watched Jacob leave the infirmary, Sam lay back on the pillow and looked into Daniel's eyes. "Is Jack here?"
"He was but he left to go to his cabin. He stayed around long enough to make sure you weren't paralyzed and then he left. He thinks you hate him and you'll never want to see him again."
"I don't hate him, Daniel. I was the one that drove too fast and pulled out in front of the truck. That wasn't his fault."
"He told me about your argument and he deeply regrets what he said to you. When I saw Jack kneeling beside you on the road when you were hit, he was so upset. When we got you here to the infirmary, I found him sitting outside and when he told me what had happened, he started crying. That's only the second time I've ever seen Jack cry. He was so afraid that you would die and he felt it was all his fault. Jack loves you so much, Sam, and it really hurt him to see you with Pete, but I'm not making excuses for him because he should not have lost his temper and said what he did."
Sam looked at her hands. "I was so upset after talking to Jack. I apologized to him for getting involved with Pete but I guess it just wasn't good enough."
Daniel gently clasped Sam's hand. "Sam, Jack feels unworthy of you."
Sam frowned. "Unworthy of me? Why?"
"He carries a lot of baggage, thanks to the time he was in Special Ops and what happened with Sara and Charlie. You're very intelligent and beautiful and he's several years older than you. He thought you would find someone closer to your own age, someone smarter and better than he thinks he is. Jack comes across to most people as this confident man that can take on the world, but when it comes to you, he's insecure. Seeing you with Pete, getting engaged and having to work with you these past few months had become more than he could take."
"I never knew my engagement hurt him so much. Years passed and we never discussed how we felt about each other after the zatarc test. I thought he didn't care about me that way anymore. Until we argued that day, I never realized exactly how much I had hurt him by dating Pete; I wish I had never gotten involved with him. None of this would have happened if Jack and I had done something about our relationship after the zatarc test and now I may never see him again."
Sam suddenly burst into tears so Daniel stood and sat down beside her. He gently wrapped his arms around her as she cried into his chest.
~oOo~
Jack walked to his pond and sat down in a chair as the sun shone brightly and a chilly breeze blew around him. He pulled his jacket tighter and stared at the sparkling water.
He had left Colorado Springs two weeks ago and he had talked with Daniel every day to get an update on Sam's condition.
Since he had arrived here at his cabin, Sam had constantly been on his mind. He had awakened several times in the middle of the night as he dreamed over and over about the accident. He knew he would never forgive himself for hurting Sam but more than anything else, he knew he would never get out her out of his heart. He had been attracted to her since the day they had met and the longer he had known her, the deeper he had fallen in love with her. He missed going into her lab just to watch her work. He missed the way she would get so excited about some new alien technology. He missed the way she would giggle when he had told her a corny joke. He missed all those times they had flirted with each other. He missed the way she would try not to cry when they watched a sad movie scene. He missed their long conversations late at night on far away planets while Daniel and Teal'c slept. He missed her kindness. He missed the way her big blue eyes would sparkle when she was happy and the way her smile could light up a room. A grin came to his face as he remembered kissing Sam in the time loop.
The grin faded away as he bent over, put his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground, wishing he could see Sam just one more time to prove to himself that she really was okay.
~oOo~
As Sam slowly began to heal, she asked Dr. Brightman if she could move out of the infirmary to a private room. Dr. Brightman granted Sam's request and just having some privacy made her feel better.
Her leg was in a boot up to her knee and until her lung had completely healed and she could begin physical therapy for her hip and ankle, she was now using a wheelchair.
Jacob had gone back to see the Tok'ra to inform them that since he no longer had Selmak, he felt that this was the best time to end his relationship with them and to permanently return to Earth.
Daniel had told Sam how upset her Dad had been with Jack the day she had been injured, but not wanting to get into an argument with her Dad, Sam had avoided talking with him about it for now.
Dr. Brightman allowed Sam to do some work on her computer for a few hours each day, but she was surprised to find out how quickly she grew tired and found herself taking naps. Dr. Brightman assured her this was normal and she needed lots of rest to heal.
The time finally came when Dr. Brightman informed Sam that her lung was now working to full capacity and she wanted her to start physical therapy, so the Doctor removed the boot from her leg and allowed Sam to use a cane.
One evening after an exhausting workout with her therapist, Sam took a shower and went to her room. She eased herself down on the bed, thinking about her latest conversation this morning with Daniel. He had informed her that Jack was still calling to check on her.
Tears filled her eyes, wishing she could see Jack.
The phone rang on the bedside table so she quickly wiped her eyes and answered the phone.
"Colonel Carter."
"Colonel, this is Sergeant Adams. There's a Pete Shanahan on the phone. He asked to speak with you."
Sam didn't know what to think and didn't say anything for a moment.
"Colonel, are you there?"
"I'm here. Put him through please."
Sam gripped the receiver as she waited for Pete.
"Sam?"
"Pete, how did you get this number?"
"You gave it to me when we were dating."
"Oh, I forgot."
"I just wanted to see how you are."
"I'm slowly getting better but I have a long way to go. I'll be in physical therapy for a while yet."
"I'm glad you're okay. Sam, I miss you and I was just wondering if maybe you've changed your mind and we could see each other again."
Sam couldn't believe he was asking her this. "No, Pete, I haven't changed my mind. I was positive that we shouldn't see each other any more the day I broke our engagement."
"Does this have anything to do with O'Neill?"
"General O'Neill is not in my life, Pete. I haven't seen him or talked with him since the day of the accident."
"Do you mean to tell me that he just walked out on you completely? He hasn't even bothered to see if you're okay?"
"Pete, what goes on in my private life is none of your business. What we had between us is over so please don't call me anymore."
"If that's the way you want it, I hope you have a very happy life!" Pete yelled and hung up.
Sam set the receiver back on the phone, lay down on the bed and stared at the wall.
~oOo~
As time passed, Sam knew she was slowly getting better with the help of physical therapy, but she wished the recovery was quicker.
Sam slowly walked into the briefing room to see that General Landry and Dr. Brightman were waiting for her.
General Landry looked up at her and gave her a smile. "Have a seat."
She sat down in a chair and leaned her cane against the table.
"Dr. Brightman and I wanted to meet with you to go over your latest test results."
"Yes, sir."
Dr. Brightman looked into Sam's eyes. "First of all considering how badly you were injured, you're recovering very well."
The Doctor glanced at Hank and back at Sam. "There is no easy way to say this but I'm sure it has crossed your mind. Your hip replacement is doing well and your ankle is healing nicely but not to the point that you will ever be able to run the way you did before the accident."
"You're trying to tell me that I can't go through the stargate any more."
Dr. Brightman shook her head. "No, I'm afraid you can't."
General Landry clasped his hands together. "We just think it's too dangerous, Colonel. If you had to get away quickly from an enemy, there is a strong possibility that you could not run fast enough and I do not want to risk re-injuring your ankle and above all else, risking your life."
"I understand, sir. So where does that leave me?"
"You're still needed here and I want to stress to you that just because you won't be going on off-world missions any more, this will in no way disqualify you from future promotions."
"Thank you, sir."
"I have learned that you never had enough time to do all the work you wanted to do in your lab."
"No, sir, I didn't."
"Well, you do now. You will now be the lead scientist on the base. Dr. Lee and the other scientists and assistants will report directly to you. They are all very eager to work with you again."
Sam smiled. "Thank you, sir. That's very generous. Does this mean that Daniel and Teal'c will be assigned permanently to other teams?"
"Dr. Jackson will be researching the artifacts and other discoveries that the teams bring back to Earth from now on, and he told me that he has been asked by different colleges and universities to lecture as a guest archaeologist occasionally, so he will be working only part-time for the Air Force. He will only be going off-world when the need arises. Teal'c has informed me that he is leaving the SGC to work with Master Bra'tac in order to build the new Jaffa nation."
Sam looked surprised. "Teal'c had not told me he's leaving."
"He only made his decision recently, Colonel. I'm sure he will talk with you soon. SG-1 is quite a legend around here and now that Jack has retired and you will be starting your new position and Dr. Jackson and Teal'c are off to explore other interests, the President and I felt it just wouldn't be appropriate to start a new SG-1 team."
Sam nodded her head. "I agree, sir. Dr. Brightman, when can I return to work?"
"I'll let you start working half days, either in the morning or afternoon, to begin with. You are still healing and I will not allow you to overdo it."
"I understand."
General Landry smiled. "There is one more thing. Dr. Brightman and I agree that you're well enough to return to your own home."
Sam smiled. "Thank you so much, sir."
"You're welcome, Colonel. You're dismissed."
~oOo~
Sam unlocked the front door to her house and Daniel followed her inside.
They walked into the living room and Sam looked around. She sat down on the sofa and laid her cane beside her as Daniel sat across from her.
"I know you're relieved to be here, Sam."
"Yes, it's so good to be home again."
"I talked with Jack last night, Sam. He wanted to see how you were and I told him you were coming home today. He also told me that his real estate agent found a buyer for his house here in the Springs."
"We had some good times at his house, didn't we, Daniel?"
"We did. All those barbecues where Jack burned the meat."
Sam chuckled. "You and Jack arguing."
Daniel grinned. "Trying to teach Teal'c about Earth."
"Teal'c watching Star Wars movies over and over."
"You and Jack flirting with each other."
"I miss him."
"He misses you too."
"How do you know?"
"He said so."
"He did?"
"Sam, Jack has missed you terribly since he moved to Minnesota. Why do you think he still calls me to see how you are?"
Sam stared at the floor as she tried not to cry.
~oOo~
The next day, Sam sat down carefully on a stool in her lab and looked at all the various stacks of paper that people had put on her lab table in her absence. Notes from lab assistants, test results regarding alien technology, various memos and requests for her to review and approve. She sighed, knowing it would take hours to get through them all.
She heard a knock on the door and turned to see Teal'c coming toward her.
"Colonel Carter."
Sam smiled. "Hi, Teal'c."
"It is good to see that you are well enough to return to your duties."
"Yes, it's great to be back and doing something productive. General Landry told me you're leaving the SGC."
"I am. It was a difficult decision but I feel my time here on Earth has come to an end. I will be joining the Jaffa council, helping Bra'tac in any way I can. I must go where I am needed most."
Sam stood from her stool as tears came to her eyes. She put her hands on his upper arms, leaned up and gave him a kiss on his cheek.
"Your friendship has meant so much to me all these years we've worked together. You've always been there for me, not only as a teammate, but as a close friend. I will miss you more than I can say, but you have to promise you'll come back and visit."
"I will."
"Did you tell Jack you're leaving?"
"I did. He wished me well and requested that I come visit him at his cabin."
"Please keep in touch with us, Teal'c. I'm going to miss you."
The next morning, the gate room was filled with people as Sam and Daniel stood in the front of the group and General Landry and Teal'c stood on the ramp. After General Landry spoke briefly, Daniel put his arm around Sam's shoulder as they watched Teal'c walk up the ramp. He turned around and held up his hand in goodbye as tears spilled from Sam's eyes.
~oOo~
Daniel pulled up in the parking lot of the restaurant that Sam had chosen and parked. Stepping out of the car, he went around to the passenger side and grabbed Sam's crutches from the back seat. Sam opened the door as he held out his hand to help her stand and they went inside.
The waiter led them to a booth in the corner. Sam sat down and propped her cane on the bench beside her as Daniel sat across from her.
After the waiter had taken their orders, they began to talk.
"Thanks for letting me choose the restaurant, Daniel."
"You're welcome. It's just good to see you back to your old self. Well, almost."
They gazed out the window for a few moments as they watched the sun slowly set behind the Rocky Mountains.
Sam turned to Daniel. "I've been thinking about something."
"What's that?" Daniel asked as he took a sip of water.
"I want to go see Jack."
Daniel's eyes grew wide. "You do?"
"I need to try to make it clear to him that the accident wasn't all his fault. I need to try to make things right between us again. He needs to know that I still love him. Do you think it's a good idea or is this just wishful thinking on my part?"
"You'll never know until you try. I know that Jack still feels guilty, so you will have to make the first move."
"How did this get so complicated, Daniel? We always had the regulations standing in our way, then there was Pete. Then the accident happened. Why can't we have just a little happiness together?"
Daniel took Sam's hand. "You still can, Sam. You still love each other so go make yourself . . . and Jack . . . happy."
~oOo~
Jack leaned against the porch post of his cabin as he took a sip of coffee and watched the rain fall. The rain reminded him of an off-world mission that SG-1 had been on. It was late at night as a light mist fell on the planet. He sat with his P-90 on his lap, keeping watch and trying to stay warm by the fire when Sam came out of her tent and told him she couldn't sleep. They began to talk and she revealed to him that as a little girl, she loved to watch the rain from the bay window of her bedroom. Her cat would come in and jump up on the bench beside her, settle on her lap and she would pet her cat as they gazed outside and watched the rain drip from the leaves of the tree beside her window. Sometimes her Mom would bring a blanket and they would snuggle together and talk. As she would close her eyes and fall asleep, her Mom would gently pick her up, lay her on the bed and cover her with the blanket. Sam blinked back tears, telling him that, although her Mom had died long ago, she still missed her.
He pictured Sam as a little girl, holding her cat while gazing out the window at the rain.
It had now been five months since Sam was injured and he still thought about her every day.
Pouring the lukewarm coffee on the ground, he turned around and went back in the house.
Just as he set the coffee cup in the sink, his cell phone rang so he took it out of his pocket.
"Hello."
"Hey, Jack."
"Daniel. How ya doin'?"
"I'm good. Just wanted to check and see how you are."
"Been raining a lot the last few days so I'm getting cabin fever."
"Well, it can't rain forever."
"No, it can't. How's Sam?"
"She's good, back in her lab and working again. General Landry made her lead scientist on the base. From talking with Dr. Lee, everyone is glad to have her back. Because of her weak ankle, General Landry and Dr. Brightman will not allow her to go off-world any more."
Jack shook his head. "That's my fault."
"Jack, Sam is okay with it and I didn't tell you that to make you feel guilty. I took her out to dinner last night and she said that since you've retired, Teal'c has left and I'm not on the base as much, she really didn't want to be assigned to another team anyway. She also talked about you."
Jack raised his eyebrows. "What did she say?"
"She admitted that she's still in love with you."
Jack sat down on the sofa. "Really? That's a surprise. I thought she'd probably hate me for the rest of her life."
"She doesn't . . . and you still love her too."
"Yes, I do."
"Sam has forgiven you, Jack. She understands that what you said to her that day was said out of hurt pride."
"I still haven't forgiven myself though."
"Well, you should. You can't change what happened."
~oOo~
Jacob leaned against the wall as he watched the physical therapist put Sam through her routine.
Perspiration glistened on Sam's forehead as she pushed herself to complete her exercises.
After Sam was finished, she wiped her face with a towel and came walking toward Jacob.
"How ya doing, kid?"
"Just peachy, Dad."
Jacob smiled. "Glad to hear it. How about we go out to dinner before we head to your house?"
"Sounds good. I'll go shower and meet you outside the locker room."
"Okay. Take your time. I'm in no rush."
As Sam stood under the warm water, she began to think about her Dad and how the accident had brought them closer and she was glad to have him around. They didn't talk much about what had happened that fateful day, knowing how much it had upset him. He had been so afraid that she would die.
Every time she started to mention anything about Jack, he would change the subject. Up until then, he and Jack had been friends but she feared the accident had caused irreparable harm to their friendship. Knowing how stubborn her Dad could be, it would probably take a miracle for him to forgive Jack.
As she dried off and got dressed, she was determined to talk with her Dad tonight and tell him her plans. She knew he wouldn't agree with her, but it was her life and she was determined to live it with or without his approval.
After they had eaten and arrived at her house, she asked Jacob to sit down on the sofa.
"What's up, sweetheart?"
Sam took Jacob's hands in hers and looked into his eyes. "Dad, I want you to stay calm and let me finish what I want to say without interrupting. Okay?"
"I don't think I'm going to like this."
"No, you probably won't but I want you to hear me out."
"Okay."
"I want to see Jack."
Jacob pulled his hands from Sam's and frowned. "Have you lost your mind?"
"I've had a lot of time to think about things since the accident. Everything that happened was not Jack's fault and . . ."
"Sam, you can't . . ."
Sam held up her hands. "Dad."
"I'm sorry. Go on."
"After having many long talks with Daniel, I found out how badly I hurt Jack when I got engaged to Pete. I'm the biggest reason Jack retired. He couldn't watch me marry Pete and work with me any more. When Jack and I went through the zatarc test, I was the one that suggested we leave our feelings in that room and Jack reluctantly agreed and we never discussed it again. That was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my life, Dad. You don't know how many times I've regretted it. We could have worked something out so we could be together but we didn't. We went on as though nothing had happened. Jack has never been one to discuss his feelings so after years passed and we never talked about it, I thought Jack didn't care about me anymore and I got involved with Pete. All those months of being with Pete hurt Jack deeply and I didn't realize how much until the day we argued. I would do anything in the world to take back the hurt I caused him. I do realize that Jack should not have said what he did to me that day but we've both been hurt, we've both made mistakes and I don't want us to go through the rest of our lives with the way things are. If we don't settle this, I will always wonder if we gave up without really trying to see if we can have a relationship."
"If Jack hadn't said those things to you that day, Sam, the accident wouldn't have happened."
"Yes, I was upset but I should have had enough sense to look before I pulled out onto the road. That was my mistake, not Jack's, and I don't blame him for that."
"Well, I do, Sam! He hurt you and it was so uncalled for. You don't know how scared I was to see you lying in that bed, not knowing if you were going to live or die. At that moment, I hated Jack O'Neill for what he had done to you and I probably always will."
Sam tried to stay calm. "I know this is hard for you but I need to find out if Jack and I still have a chance. Daniel told me that Jack calls him all the time to see how I'm doing and he deeply regrets what happened that day."
Sam paused for a moment. "Think about it this way, Dad. The day that you were supposed to pick up Mom and you were running late and she died in the taxi, I could have never forgiven you or spoken to you ever again but I did forgive you."
Jacob stared at the floor and didn't speak for several moments. "I'd never thought about it that way and I guess you're right but it's still hard for me to forgive Jack."
"It's time for me to see if Jack wants me in his life. I know it's hard for you to forgive Jack but nobody's perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. I love him, Dad. I miss him and I want to be with him if he feels the same way."
Jacob looked into Sam's eyes and took her hands in his. "Okay, Sam, this is your decision, but if he ever hurts you in any way or if he makes you cry ever again, so help me, I will get a gun and shoot him. No questions asked."
Sam smiled. "I'll warn him."
TBC