Chapter 4

CPOV:

It's around dawn when my mother returns to inform that Ana has been shifted to a private room. She tells me that I'm allowed to see her, even though she's not woken up.

But how can I look at her when it's all my fault. How will she stand me in the same room as herself? I hurt her so much the last time I saw her and then I let our baby get murdered.

"Way to go Grey! You didn't want to be a father and now she'll never conceive again! Now you'll never be a father. Well done!" I think to myself.

When I make no move to get up, my mother ushers everyone out of the waiting room and comes down to sit next to me. "Talk to me son, tell me what's on your mind…" she encourages. Her voice sounds hoarse, like she's been crying all night. I look at her and see her puffy red eyes and I realize how much everyone loves Ana and how much this baby must have meant to everyone….

I sigh and wonder how I should answer her question. Will she hate me if I tell her how I treated Ana when she broke the news to me. I think she will but I decide to tell her anyway.

I take a deep breath and launch into the details and series of events that led us here. I don't dare to look into my mother's eyes while I talk. I'm scared of what I'll see if I do. "I hurt her mother. I think I broke her heart. I am such an idiot. But I had realized that I love this baby as well and I was on my way to her, to beg for my forgiveness when all of this happened. When I found her like that I didn't know what to do, I was so lost. I still am!" And I break down again. I'm surprised that the tears flow so easily from my eyes. I thought I had none to shed.

Grace says nothing for a while. But she holds me while I cry. After I calm down a little, I look at her and the disappointment I see in her eyes makes me hate myself even more.

"Christian, the way you treated Ana was horrible, I raised you better than that. But please don't blame yourself for a minute for losing the baby. If I know Ana as well as I think I do, she will also blame herself once she finds out. But this isn't her fault either. There's only one person to blame and that fucker was almost beaten to death by Taylor." I'm surprised to hear her swear.

"Don't hate yourself son," she continues. She read my mind, but then again she knows me and my self-loathing tendencies. "You have grown up to be a strong man, Christian. And you need to be stronger than ever now. Ana will need you to be strong for her. This news will hit her hard. And we have no idea how she will react to it, but she will need you to get through this. So don't hate yourself or blame yourself. It won't help either of you." I look at her and I can't help admire how strong and composed she is. She really is an angel. My angel who saves me over and over again.

"But mom, what if she doesn't want me around her. What if she blames me for all this? What if she leaves Me.? I don't this I'll live if I lose her." I whisper, speaking out my worst fear.

"Christian, no! Don't say things like that!" grace admonishes. "Ana loves you. You mean the world to her. She might be upset with you but she will come around. You both will get each other through these trying time."

"How do we break the news to her?" I ask

Grace thinks for a while before answering, "Let's see how much she remembers before she wakes up. It's best if we don't tell her till she asks. We don't want to stress her out at a time like this. I think you should go to her. You don't want her to wake up to an empty room."

I nod and slowly get up. I let grace lead the way to her room. As I enter, the sight of Ana lying there so broken and frail, pains me. I go sit next to her and take her hand in mine and pray that she wakes up soon.

"I called Ray and Carla to inform them about their daughter. Ray will be arriving here shortly and Carla, tomorrow morning. It's best if we let them know about the miscarriage before they meet Ana." Grace informs and then she goes out of the room leaving me with Ana.