Disclaimer: Meyer owns the characters and anything familiar, everything else is mine. Thank you for the reviews. I would also like to thank my beta reader. This is my first story so constructive criticism is welcomed!

How had I just now noticed? Her voice sent my nerves into over drive yet I still didn't move from the fridge. I tried to steady my breathing, the refrigerated air only tickled my skin.

"Mom?" Renesmee's voice no longer seemed to carry that bell like undertone.

For a brief moment I thought about climbing into the refrigerator itself and kicking out the little man who turns off the light but you could never catch him. I nearly laughed, my hands shaking slightly with the thought being turned over in my head. My nerves were on end while I was painfully very aware of her presence now with no way to get out of this moment. I wasn't ready to face this, face her…

No, I had to do this. I couldn't run from my daughter. The guilt started to creep in from me even wanting to in the first place.

My stomach rumbled reminded me why I was at the fridge in the first place. I bite my lip and my hands shook as I swallowed harshly. I tried to move quickly, just in case I changed my mind; my heart raced while standing upright from the fridge. I hissed as my head hit the top of it. Turning to face her, I could see the frown and confusion. I rubbed my head while looking in her direction.

"...What's going on?" her brows furrowed, chocolate brown eyes looking back at my own that reflected hers. It was more than my lack of grace that had her startled; a few wisps of auburn hair threatened to escape a perfect ponytail I could never pull off.

What could I tell her? Where even to begin? I selfishly prayed that she was too young to understand. That her mind was stuck at the nearly two years of age she was and her preteen body understood even less. But one look at her appearance and relief shot through me.

No haunted eyes…

No sickly skin...

I looked back at the open fridge then back at Renesmee, my stomach objected as it growled as I closed the door. I took a bold step forward, pulling her against me. Suddenly as my arms went around her while trying to ignore the shocked expression on her face.

"Your stomach ju-…"

"Shhh…" I interrupted, clenching my eyes tight while holding back the tears that threatened to come. I felt smaller arms move around me, and that only made me want to cry more. I wanted to hold her even closer.

"Mom you're scaring me…"

I looked down then, my fingers touching her cheeks. Just inhaling her scent that nearly brought me to tears; even more than the innocent eyes that blinked, or the frustrated breath she took. My hands shakily went to her cheeks and I couldn't feel a difference between our temperatures. I knew I needed to say something soon. Renesmee looked at me more worried with each touch I gave her.

"Sorry…" I breathed out, trying to steady my voice for what I needed to say. I felt like I needed to clarify, my apology list was far too long. "Didn't mean to…" I kissed the top of her head, before pulling back.

Still worry was beneath her eyes; my baby was too smart.

Taking another deep breath, I moved my hand to take her own. I noticed how she bit her own lip with a thoughtful expression; it reminded me too much of myself. Moving to the kitchen table I pulled chairs for us both before sitting, giving her hand another tight squeeze for comfort. Hers or mine, I wasn't even sure.

But I was still so relieved. "You look so alive…"

My next words had her looking confused. I couldn't blame her, I knew I had to be confusing her even more with the soft touch of my hand, and the flush of my cheeks.

Then came awkward silence, still I wasn't letting her hand go. Her eyes looked downwards at our hands touching. I looked down myself, noticing the color of our skin. No longer contrasting as my thumb rubbed over her hand. Her skin didn't feel so hot to mine now, and I couldn't help but love it.

"Momma?" I looked up at her worried eyes and her biting her lip. I was scaring her, worrying her, but I had no clue what to say.

"I'm not…" I took a deep breath to steady my words, "I'm not a vampire anymore…"

I didn't even need to say it, you could take one look at me and tell. Then add the beating heart, no longer golden eyes and skin that didn't feel like marble. It was a dead giveaway. My own hand started shaking as I held hers tighter. I could do this. I needed to explain. I was her mother. I kept wishing for a moments to be a real mother, and now I have one. I could almost laugh at myself now. This was so messy, just so messy…

"I don't get it…"

I didn't even hear the confusion in her voice or the question. I'm standing here, so caught up in my thoughts about how to tell about the imprint. I was sure this would turn her world upside down.

"Mom"

I blinked staring at her a moment as I came out of my thoughts.

"..how?" her eyes went over me. I could almost see her mind working trying to piece together the puzzle, her frown mirroring my own when I would come up blank.

My mouth opened to answer before closing again, telling my daughter someone was hell-bent on killing me and accidentally turned me into...something didn't seem smart. At that thought my hand shook more.

Hellbent on killing me...

The person who tried to kill me is still out there...

The person who wanted me dead and probably wants to finish the job is still out there…

My heart started racing as my hands shook more. How could I forget that? How did I not think about THAT?

"Mom? Whats wrong? Mom!?" Renesmee's voice got more alarmed with each word. "Help! Mom needs help!"

"No!" I shouted suddenly, holding on tight to my daughter's hand as I pulled her along behind me.

"Mom what are you doing!?"

"Shh!" I said to her.

It wasn't that I hated my family but the idea of them touching me right now wasn't something I wanted. I moved quickly with Renesmee behind me, picking one of the few spare rooms before letting go of Renesmee's hand to close the door behind us and locking it. I would have laughed, but I would even take the illusion of security right now as I leaned against the door. I was lucky no one had come to check.

I was unsurprised to see my daughter staring at me; curiosity was written over her face. And fear.

Fear for me? I wondered. Fear for what I was going to say?

"Mom you're scaring me. What's going on!?" her face held determination and I wasn't even surprised.

"Are you going to say anything?" she folded her arms underneath her chest.

The beginnings of womanhood were beginning to show. I wondered for a moment could this count as a teenager's tantrum and the thought made me sad. I hated how fast she was growing no matter that it was starting to slow down a bit.

"Mom!"

I gave her my attention at the sound of her calling me. I couldn't think of how best to approach this. Girls her age dreamed of princes, right? And that's what Jake was, he was her guaranteed prince. The one thing she was supposed to know would never go away, would stay unchanging. I took a deep breath, watching her bite her lip nervously.

"Renesmee…"

"Ness "she sighed dramatically as she corrected me for maybe the umpteenth time, almost making me roll my eyes at Jake's and my father's influence. I wouldn't start that argument with her today.

"Sweetie, come here please," I held out my hand to her as she hesitantly took it while aware of the stench outside this room and slightly lingering in it while glad that it had never been officially used. It wasn't ideal, but at least I could breathe easier.

Squeezing Renesmee's hand I kept my tone as gentle as I could, "You know I would never hurt you intentionally….."

Her brow furrowed while nodding her head, "I know…"

You know this is going to go badly. You have a crazy girl wanting to kill you and you took your daughter's future away, my mind stated the obvious before I made a face but I had to keep talking or I would never get the words out.

"When I was younger, there was...I mean to say. Jake and I were ...you know how I told you me and Jake were best friends?" I was hoping she remembered while holding her hand a bit tighter.

"Yes, and when I was born he imprinted on me." I thought for a moment I saw a look on her face before she kept talking. "You and father already told me this story."

"There's something I should tell you. After I woke up like this." I saw her nod though I still think she found my appearance unbelievable. I was having a hard time believing it myself.

"Jake imprinted on me sweetie."

I had barely forced the words out before Renesmee snatched her hand from me, her mouth opened wide. Her hand went immediately to her mouth while looking around - to the door behind me, to the window, back to the door - everywhere, but me. Her eyes went to the door behind me to the window then back at the door. I tried coming closer to her but she only recoiled from me. She shook her head as a hand went into her hair, making strands escape the ponytail she sported.

"Just...move," her voice came out a whisper that if I was human I wouldn't have heard it.

"Please listen..." my eyes pleaded.

I hated the idea of her angry at me. I reached for her arm but she snatched it away. Shaking her head as I came closer before pushing past me making me stumble. Giving her time to grab the door knob and force the door open to slam against the wall as she ran out.

Picking myself up quickly I ran right after her, shouting her name just as a door slammed in my face. Familiar arms pulled me back, keeping me from breaking down my daughter's door when I heard the lock.

"Jake, let me go! I have to talk to her!"

"No…"

"No!?" I tried twisting around just so he could see the look on my face. He couldn't be serious.

"Just give her a minute..." he growled out.

I could hear the annoyance in his tone at me, but I didn't care.

"I need to fix this!" I screamed.

I kept trying to get away. I was tempted to hit him when his arms held me tighter. I was fighting the urge to just lean into him, it hurt badly to know she was shutting me out. She wasn't letting me be there for her when I know she needed me.

"Can you stop thinking about yourself for once!?" Jake yelled finally letting me go.

Jake moved in front of Renesmee's door. His eyes dark, challenging me to try to get past him. But I only stared at him.

About me? How dare he think that's what I'm doing!

"I'm thinking of her!" I finally yelled.

"Really?" he glared at me with a cold, hardened expression. "It has nothing to do with the fact she's pissed at you, and you can't stand it?"

My eyes narrowed at him as he looked back at me. For a moment I questioned him: how was he going against me at all. Memories of how Jake would readily do anything Renesmee asked of him came to mind as I observed my ex-best friend. I wasn't ready to admit he was right.

"Yea, that's what I thought…" he stated; his eyes never left mine.

I barely caught the strain in his voice but I could feel it was there. He was fighting our imprint. The words he said last echoed at me at how it wasn't enough. He had been fighting it since then….

That realization struck me, my eyes widened at him in fear. Could he break it? Would he? Did our imprint mean nothing to him?

"You just told your daughter that I'm your imprint and you don't see how fucked up that is? No, of course you don't. You're too damn worried about her being mad at you!"

Was he begging me to try to understand what this could be doing to Renesmee? How it could be hurting her? But I had worried, I was worried…

Only until you were hurting from her shutting you out…

I close my eyes a moment before looking down to open them as I gazed at my feet. Yea, I knew it was messed up. I had just been in her position not that long ago. Having to watch the boy I didn't choose and couldn't have. Jealous of my own daughter. I wrapped my arms around myself feeling ashamed of my actions the more I thought about it. When didn't I put me first? I was good at it.

"Bella?"

My eyes looked up at Jake, he hadn't budged from the spot he was in. His eyes started searching mine as though looking for something. He seemed to frown after a moment, I wonder if he had found it. Was that pity in his eyes? I didn't want it.

"You're right." I swallowed thickly watching him nod at me. "Everything's" I shook my head as though it'd finally make everything clearer "just such a mess." I laughed though it was hollow, leaning back against the wall opposite of Jake.

"Yea, it is" he sighed while I looked down again.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

By now the stench should have been unbearable and they should have come running to see what was going on. Especially Rose, she wouldn't be too happy about Renesmee.

"Out looking."

Out looking? They couldn't be…

"For?" I looked back up quickly, hoping I was wrong.

For a moment the girl who could kill vampires had left my mind during the whole imprint issue with Renesmee.

"You already know. They were already making plans as soon as you told Carlisle," his eyes darkened at the last sentence.

I was pretty sure Jake had wanted to go with them, or maybe it was wishful thinking on my part that he would want to protect me after all this.

"Wait, they made plans and no one told me!?"

Jake looked amused a moment. "You should be used to it. Your husband loves to keep you in the dark remember. As soon as he came back, I guess he read Carlisle's mind. He talked to the pixie. She saw something and he was already giving orders to leave and find that girl." Jake snorted. "I told them we need to let you know what was going on, but of course they listen to the leech."

Jake mumbled those last words and I didn't even say anything about the leech comment. I was too angry at the fact that once again, I was left in the dark. Once again they all followed Edward's advice. Whose coven was this again!? I wondered

"You look pissed Bells," Jake laughed

"Screw you Black!" I growled because right now I hated him for being right, trying to ignore his slip of tongue.

"Sure sure," he actually laughed, but the phrase only sent a pain through me as past memories came to mind.

For a moment it was silent. I wondered how long I should wait before talking to Renesmee, while thinking about how this whole thing could have been avoided.

"I should have picked you…" I whispered.

"You loved the le-Edward."

I bit my lip nervously, "I was scared Jake."

"Of what!?" he looked at me confused.

"Isn't it obvious?" I had looked back down.

"Imprinting," he said with a sigh, "I figured that…I used to just stare at you, hoping it would happen"

"I remember," I was scared to look back up, a sad smile on my face. "You promised you'd never imprint, that you'd fight it."

I gave a bitter laugh then. Did he fight the imprint on my daughter at all?

"I didn't fight," he admitted so softly I barely caught it. I felt like cold water had been doused on me.

"You said you'd fight for me! You said 'till my heart stops beating!" I wanted to hit him as I screamed as the truth pierced me, my fists clenching together as I felt claws starting to pierce my palms.

"Even then," he shook his head at my sudden actions, while repeating words from long ago.

"Then what changed!?"

He rose a brow at me shouting before his tone became sarcastic "Oh where should I start." He put a finger to his chin as he tapped it. "The time you married a leech? No...Wait...you got pregnant by said leech. Nope can't be it." He paused again. "I got it." He snapped his fingers. "Maybe it was when I asked you do you feel anything, and you said you felt nothing! Nada! Need me to make that shit clearer!?"

"You said it was all her!" I growled, feeling my fangs lengthen as I continued to fight the urge to hit him. I knew I had been blind, but I couldn't have been that blind. I refused to believe it.

"WHAT THE HELL I WAS GONNA SAY!?" He got closer to me as I stood my ground. "Good for you but I still want you!? That I still love you!? That the fucking imprint didn't erase shit!"

"You were like Sam…" my voice came out soft as realization dawned on me, the fight leaving out of me. "Jake, I'm…"

I was that blind...worse than I thought.

"Don't Bella...just don't," He looked away from me then. I knew he didn't want another apology so I closed my mouth. I knew he was right. How didn't I see it? No amount of apologies would change the past. It was done. My tongue moved across my teeth, before looking at my nails. Only the small disappearing marks in my palm told me I hadn't totally lost my mind.

"I'm tired of fighting with you…"

I looked up at him. "But sorry can't fix it…can it?"

"It can't."

"I forgave you for forcing a kiss on me." When I saw him wince, I knew I threw a low blow and I shouldn't have. "Jake, I shouldn't have said that..."

"Why? It's the truth. I'll never forgive myself for that. Charlie should have locked me up."

"Jake I forgave you…." I frowned while reaching in my pocket, fingering the wolf charm there. I never feared accidentally leaving it in my pockets for Edward to find, never mind how selfish it was to keep it close all this time.

"Yea, I know." he went quiet a moment before changing the subject. "You're ready?"

I looked at the door behind Jake while noticing him starting to move away from it. Was he still beating his self up for every mistake he made with me? As much as I was hoping he wasn't, I wasn't so sure.I shook my head at his question.

"No" I bit my lip, honestly I was scared to death of her reaction. "But I don't like my baby hurting. And…" I took a deep breath while looking at Jake. "I think its best you not be here while I talk to her. Bad enough she heard all of….this."

For a moment I thought Jake was going to argue but he just gave a smile. "Sure sure."

I looked confused for a moment. I decided not to question him about it as I made my way to the door to knock. He left down the hallway.

"And Bells..."

My head turned fast to him, but I held down that hope again. Renesmee was more important. As much as I might wanted him to stay this was best. I didn't want to hurt her anymore and I was sure all she heard made it no better.

"Listen to her. Okay?"

"Alright Jake." I nodded while inwardly hating that he knew how to handle my daughter better than I did. I waited a moment before knocking on the door.

"Ness, can we talk. Please?" I said softly, putting my ear close to the door unnecessarily.

At first I had put down the nickname, thinking of it more as Jake's and Charlie's influence. But now I was wondering more and more about my own judgment. As much as I loved the name Renesmee, she clearly didn't care much for it.

You mean like how you hate being called Isabella. Even my own mind was annoying me but then I heard the movement of feet and the door being unlocked. And then feet moving away from the door, taking this as an invitation I went ahead and let myself inside.

Taking a look at my daughter's room, there were still some stuffed animals. I even saw cartoons in a corner storage, it made me wonder when she got that. I always thought Renesmee's tastes were more on the mature side, which matched the worn books on the bookcase against the wall until I saw a few titles that stood out against the classics there. I was pretty sure "Dr. Seuss" wasn't heavy reading these days. The papers of an unfinished composition was no surprise but the coloring book under it made me pause.

Renesmee saw where my eyes were going and moved to cover it better with the composition papers on her desk but we both knew I already saw it. I sat on the edge of her bed. The bedspread itself was lavender, with no colorful and bold prints, but as I looked in the corner of the bed I saw a small, colorful blanket peeking out with little animals. Did she sleep with a blanket still? This only made me more confused before looking at her as she sat close beside me, her hair down now.

Her auburn hair was reminding me of her father and I had to take another breath. Right now I had to worry about Renesmee, I would worry about Edward later. I fought against wrapping my arms around myself as my fears tried to push to the front of my mind, I didn't want to worry my daughter with my fears. Part of me was hoping that the family would be able to find that girl. My gut though was telling me not to find comfort in that hope. I needed to concentrate on what was in front of me, the rest had to wait...

One thing at a time Bella,I told myself as I took another deep breath.

"Ness..," I wasn't even sure if this was going to make things worse or not. "I know how you feel."

"You do?" her eyes widen before attempting to regain her composure.

"Yes I do. It sucks," I couldn't even think of a better word for it. "You feel like everything is written in stone, and then it turns out nothing's the same. And everything has changed, so now you have to try to figure out how to hold yourself together after you made so many pl-"

"I don't feel like that. "She shook her head.

"You don't?" I looked at her in disbelief and saw how she fidgeted under my stare. "You don't have to lie to me, I've seen how imprinting works and I understand if you're mad at me or even...hate me."

"I don't hate you mom." Renesmee said before adding quickly "I'm not even mad at you "but still she wasn't looking at me.

"You don't have to lie." I repeated, hoping to get through to her. I didn't care how many times she went to Jacob or Rose, I would help her this time. I was determined.

"I'm not lying. I was shocked. I..." She took a deep breath as I watched her bite her bottom lip before speaking again "I'm not mad so just forget it. Please?" she pleaded while turning her chocolate brown eyes on me, and I nearly gave in before strengthening my resolve.

"What aren't you telling me? I know I'm not Rose," or Jake, I told myself. "But you can talk to me too."

"Aunt Rose is the last person I would tell..." she mumbled as she looked back down. I wondered if she knew she was fidgeting again.

"Since when don't you tell Rose something?!" I tried not to raise my voice, but that news was a shock.

"I just can't" she emphasized each word , leaning more against the wall as her fingers lightly touched the hidden blanket. "You wouldn't understand!" she cried out suddenly, standing up and starting to pace back and forth.

"What wouldn't I understand!? I know it changes the original plans..."

"See!"

"See what!? If you're in love him, I understa-"

"In love him!?" she grimaced. "I DON'T EVEN LIKE HIM LIKE THAT!" her hands went into the air in frustration as I stared speechless.