Fantastically Beta read by CryDon'tSmile!
Disclaimer- I DON'T OWN ATTACK ON TITAN THIS IS JUST A FANFIC AFTER ALL.
Chapter 4 - The Ends of Before
(Eren's POV)
Dawn's light on my face forces me to wake from my dream state. The 30 meter titan's yellow eyes bore into mine as I struggle against the flesh of my own titan's neck. Our battle was long and hard but in the end, regardless to my previous threat, my titan was the one who didn't have a head to think with.
I manage to free my legs before its clamp of a jaw falls to where I was trapped. I topple off my titans shoulder in a desperate escape, falling clumsily to the ground below. It doesn't take the titan long to realise I was not in that mouthful and it's head darts about in frustration. I see my slender ray of hope, get to my feet and run towards the wall.
Why did I ever think I could outrun a titan, especially in this state?
I fall to my knees as the booming strides of the titan shake the ground. I shuffle forwards like there's no tomorrow, well there might not be at this rate, but my path is suddenly blocked by its thumping feet. I lie on my back looking up at the monstrous fate that awaits me. I just hope Mikasa is with the others otherwise this will all be a waste.
The titans taunting grin appears as it bends down, oblivious to the hooded figure swinging down from the wall towards him. I squint my eyes against the sunrise just enough to see the figure swiftly cut the titans neck, the whole thing looking effortless. I'm too busy watching the scene behind the Titan to realise that if I don't move I will be squashed beneath its falling mass. Adrenaline drives my legs to move and I just about make it safely out the way, having to leap at the last second. I roll onto my back gasping, hearing nothing but my own heartbeat.
Close call.
"That wasn't so hard, was it Jaeger?" Levi asks walking over to me.
"Can't...breathe…" I gasp out, my chest wheezing as I speak.
Levi glances down at me showing no signs of pity, no signs of any emotion actually. He kicks my leg and I roll over onto my front.
"Get up, you're not dead," he casually remarks.
I cough. "I bet you hope I was, saves you some effort."
That earns me another kick to my side.
Levi sighs and offers me a hand up.
"Come on," he commands.
I comply and push myself to my feet. I wobble about for a second before falling into Levi, causing us to both come crashing down. He elbows me as he quickly gets up to brush the dust off himself. I look up expecting him to see his outstretched hand but only seeing his face burning with rage. I smile.
"Is that emotion you're showing captain?" I say sarcastically.
I groan as he punches me in the jaw.
Levi makes a 'Tch' sound before grabbing me by the collar and dragging me up to my feet.
"Don't make this a regular thing Jaeger," he warns before we shoot up towards the top of the wall.
(Mikasa POV)
I pace up and down, ignoring the threats from Jean to sit down. How can I rest when Eren's not here? It's been almost 4 hours since Levi went down the wall and he still hasn't returned. I bite my fingernails, ignoring the blood that appears when I do.
"You're making everyone nervous Mikasa!" Sasha complains.
I give her a quick glare and she worriedly looks away. The time seems to drag and no one feels like speaking. An awkward silence wraps around the group.
"We shouldn't stay here," Bertolt says.
"We need to go back to the city," Reiner agrees, looking straight at me.
"You're kidding right? We are missing our squad leader and Eren!" I argue, walking up to Reiner.
Reiner looks down at me with almost disgust.
"I'm not sitting here on my ass waiting for your boyfriend and that little guy to come back. We have no food or water up here considering our horses and supplies are all down there! Who knows how long it is before another herd of Titans walks by making us trapped for sure! Anyway, they are both probably dead so stop blabbering."
I screw my face up with rage.
"He is not dead," I say coldly.
Reiner bends down and puts his face directly in front of mine. I can feel the repulsive heat of his breath on my cheeks. "That titan's probably already sicked him back up by now. Better find yourself a new man to fail at protecting."
Asshole.
I yell and lunge myself at him, tears blinding my view. Reiner stumbles around, trying his best to lose the grip I have on his top.
"Mikasa get off me!" he shouts, waving his arms about.
One of his elbows manages to clip me in the side of the temple and I go sprawling backwards, trying my best not to fall over.
I'm not giving up that easily.
I look up and steady myself before running at him again. He moves out of the way and I almost go flying over the wall. Reiner stands behind me wiping a trickle of blood away from his nose.
"Is that it Ackerman?" he mocks before slamming my body down onto the floor. The air goes straight out of me and I lie gasping. Armin runs over screaming.
"Get off her! She's barley able to stand as it is!"
Reiner ignores Armin's cries and wafts him away when he starts slapping his arms. My head feels like it's on a roundabout that won't stop. Everyone apart from Armin watches in terror at the scene before them, unable to move out of the fear of being taken on by Reiner.
Armin continues to slap him but he is hardly a match to Reiner's brute force. He knocks Armin backwards onto the floor, sending gasps and cries through the group. Reiner turns to face me.
"You know Mikasa if it wasn't for you I would have been top of the 104th class? You were always the prize of the squad weren't you? Pretending you were something special when in fact you were just a little girl who cared only about herself and that so called brother. Well now that he's dead everyone can see how truly selfish you are and that you're nothing but a show off!"
It's clear to see that he's lost it and that isn't good for me when I'm helpless on the floor. He looks down at me and spits on my leg.
"I'm stronger than you, watch," Reiner declares, overcome by anger.
That's when I go for him.
I swipe his legs from under his body knocking him down. I quickly jump up and straddle his stomach pinning his hands and feet down in a position we both know he can't move from. He struggles against me but knows he's lost. I breathe in and think about what we both said. I try to brush it all off but deeper feelings of pain want to be heard.
Reiner lies still under my weight waiting for me to make the next move. I look him coldly in the eyes.
"Don't say anything about my family again," I say with a clear threat in my voice. "Understood?"
Reiner looks away and admits defeat. I sigh and stand up. The wound on my head has opened up again but I'm too tired to care. I stride over to Armin, ignoring the glances from everyone else.
"You okay?" I ask, wiping the blood away from his mouth.
"Hah, am I okay?" He nervously laughs.
Looking down I smile, and collapse to my knees. I look up at Armin and I hold my arms wide open. He walks without hesitation into them, his little body pressed against mine as he cries into my jacket. I try my best to comfort him but I'm having trouble keeping myself together. I'm just about to tell him it's all okay but I'm interrupted by Connie screaming at me.
"Mikasa!" he shrieks as I turn to see Reiner running at me, his blade raised above my head.
I don't even have time to put my arms up. I can only turn my body to protect Armin's from the rapidly approaching blades. I close my eyes tight, waiting for the metal to hit but I never feel it. I open one eye and look down at Armin's shocked expression. What is he waiting for? I slowly turn to see Eren standing above us, his own blade shaking against the weight of Reiner's.
"Eren!" I say in disbelief.
He looks at me for a second giving Reiner the advantage. He pushes down against Eren's blades, his face dripping with sweat.
"Leave it Jaeger," he says before giving a final push, making Eren kneel before him.
"Stop it Reiner, we can't fight with ourselves," Eren grunts against the weight.
Reiner screws his face up in rage. "You're dead anyway," he states.
"No he's not," a voice calls out. I look over to see Levi striding over towards the chaos.
"Captain!" Armin exclaims.
"Stand down, both of you," Levi orders, his voice spitting annoyance.
Reiner glares at him but relaxes his blade realising that he can't fight Eren and Levi. He huffs and walks off back towards Bertolt, bumping Eren's shoulder along the way. Levi rubs his eyes and looks around the group.
"I'm gone for 5 minutes and you're all killing each other. Forget the Titans, at this rate your all murder each other in your sleep!"
He sighs heavily looking around at all of us. His eyes settle on my own for a little longer than needed and I shift on the balls of my feet uncomfortably. Levi raises his hands up, giving up with us, and walks off further down the wall.
I can't imagine how much he detests us.
Tension in the group is high and nobody feels like talking. In the end everyone disappears to help Levi find the horses, leaving me and Eren alone on the wall. Without gas we have no way of reaching the ground, unless you count jumping to your death as an option, but I don't think I'm suicidal just yet. I sit crossed legged looking out across Titan territory, the sun nearly fully raised. Eren walks over and sits beside me.
I don't look at him. Instead I continue to look blankly into the distance.
"I'm sorry for before," he softly begins. "The thing about me not needing you anymore?"
I snap my head in his direction.
"Did you just say that?" I breathe.
"Yes. I needed to say it before-" he starts, but I interrupt him as I break out into laughter.
"Mikasa?" he asks worriedly.
"After all that's happened, that's the first thing you say to me?" I say between the laughing.
I put my head in my hands as the laughter turns into sobbing. "You almost died!" I exclaim.
Eren puts his hands on my shoulders.
"Mikasa, you're the one who nearly died, not me. I'm the one that should be crying here."
I look up quickly at his pained expression.
"I'm sorry," I say, peering into his eyes.
He smiles as he encloses me in his warm arms. I exhale into his chest. This is the safest place I've been for a while.
"It's okay," he sighs into my hair.
I could fall asleep like this. Forget about the world. I can feel my eyes drooping but Jean's voice interrupts the moment.
"Um. I bought some gas tanks..." He says awkwardly.
Eren and I fly apart causing me to blush. How could I think this would be a good time to be alone? We stand up, avoiding each other's gaze.
"I should probably go..." Jean says, his voice quieter.
I look up at him and smile. "No its okay, we're coming now."
Jean nods before walking off. I catch him subtly turn towards Eren and as he gives him a quick glance. Eren is the one blushing now and he punches Jeans shoulder as he strides off. I lower my eyebrows in confusion and Jean laughs.
"Don't worry about it Ackerman."
(Eren's POV)
Levi called off the mission that morning. We had lost 3 of our horses and most of the gas reserves, not to mention the fact that none of us wanted to be around each other. As we started to ride back to the safety of wall an uncomfortable silence rose as everyone tried their best to avoid eye contact. I feel Armin sigh on my back; his horse was one of the ones we couldn't manage to track down so I offered to take him on mine.
"How you holding up back there?" I ask.
He sighs again. "I'm worried about Krista. She's not talking to anyone."
I look over to Krista. Her face is a ghostly white like a porcelain dolls, her usual bright eyes are as glassy as pebbles as they blankly look on into the distance. There's no need to think about why she's like this.
Ymir.
We didn't find a trace of her when we got down from the walls. No footprints or blood, I guess we just have to hope she found a horse and made it back before us. I try to look on the bright side, but I'm just not in the mood for it anymore.
I look back at Armin and give him a sad smile. "In case you haven't noticed, Armin, no one's talking. It's not really a good time, but yeah, it's worrying."
Armin looks down and begins to mess with the hem of his cloak.
"Sorry," I say trying to be as gentle as I can. I don't think he can last another argument after today.
We continue to ride in silence for another hour. The most I can do is comfort Armin and avoid glancing at Reiner; who hasn't kept his eyes off me the whole time. I can almost feel his eyes burning into the back of my head making me shift uncomfortably.
"Eren," Armin says.
I look back into his face which is turned away to the left. I look in the same direction.
"Is it a titan?" I ask alertly, putting my hand on one of my blades.
"No it's too small. I think it might be one of the lost horses, but how did it make it all this way by itself?" he replies.
I scan the area until my eyes land on the shape he was talking about.
"Do you think it could be Ymir?" he squeaks, his voice full of hope.
My heart lifts as there's actually a chance it could be. Maybe she did make it all this way on her own. But then again, why did she stop?
The shape isn't clear to see, or close for that matter. It would be a quicker to get there on my own without troubling the group... it would also be nice to take a ride.
"Only one way to find out," I say, smiling.
I give a strong tug on the horse's reins, making it rear up. The group stops and turns around to see what's going on but it's too late. My horse is already galloping towards the object, leaving the confused faces of everyone else behind.
"Jaeger!" I hear Levi call but I don't even bother to look around, since I can already hear the drum of hooves following.
"Why didn't you wait?" Armin gasps, desperately hanging onto my waist as we bounce up and down on the saddle.
"I didn't want to trouble anyone," I laugh, feeling the wind through my hair. Of course that isn't the true meaning. When I saw that wide open distance I felt like it might be my last chance to be free without anyone on my back. My mind darkens as I remember what's going to happen when I get back to wall rose.
I fade out of the real world as my mind goes black. I begin to imagine my last moments.
I'm thrown onto the king's palace steps and held down by 2 guards. I struggle against their grips but they pin me down against the cold white marble. Screams of the people I love surround me as a man with long slick black hair and a fanciful moustache aims his gun at my head. A wicked grin appears across his lips as he places his finger on the trigger. I close my eyes waiting for the bullet as a bloodcurdling scream sounds beside me. My eyes fly open-
"Eren! Wake up!" Armin shouts while doing his best to keep me on the horse.
"Wha..." I slur, shaking my head.
My mind feels groggy from the almost nightmarish image. Did I just black out?
"You nearly fell off! You were laughing and then a second later you were sliding off the horse!" he says, panicking. "We should stop."
I shake my head and ignore him, looking up towards the shape realising it's definitely a horse.
"No, it's right up ahead. Anyway, I don't want to stop and get shouted at by Levi just yet," I joke.
I glance behind to see the group coming up from behind, Levi up front, his face not looking particularly pleased. I swear there's steam coming out of his ears.
I reach the horse and pull at the reins for it to stop and stop it does. The jolt is so sudden that Armin goes tumbling over me and onto the ground.
"Armin!" I splutter out.
"I'm okay. Stupid horse needs to learn to hit the brakes," he says, rubbing his head.
I give a sigh of relieve before hopping down from my horse and drawing my attention to the other. I look at the saddle and study the engraving on the back. Stitched into it is the word I wanted to see but in a way I also didn't.
"Ymir..." I breathe, "This is her horse Armin. She must be around here."
"Ymir!" I shout clasping my hands round my mouth, "Ymir!
Armin walks off to the side a little and I catch him staring ahead.
"Eren, I don't think there's any point in trying. Look..." he quietly says.
I walk over to what he's talking about and gasp. Lying on the floor is Ymir's manoeuvre gear, survey corps cloak and a cluster of broken blades. However it's not those that are worrying.
Among the abandoned objects, nestled in between the cloak is a detached hand with no owner.
Armin runs off to a nearby bush to be sick and I collapse to my knees.
"How could this happen...?" I whisper to myself.
I hear the sound of angry footsteps approaching me but I don't take my eyes off the curled up hand before me.
"Eren!" Levi booms. He's using my first name which is a first. I can't decide if it's good or bad. He grabs me by the collar and shoves me down onto the floor. First names must be bad then.
"Are you completely incompetent? Have you forgotten who's in charge?" He shouts.
I ignore him. I lie still, fixated by the horror. Levi looks down at me, his face slowly turning from tomato red to baby pink. He kicks me in the stomach multiple times before Mikasa jumps between us.
"Stop! You don't even understand why he ran off yet!" she states. "Give him a chance."
"Mikasa he went against my orders. I have the right to do what I wish. Have you forgotten I'm the reason he's not dead right now?" Levi calmly says, his expression back to its normal grim state.
"He'll be dead soon enough," Reiner says, walking up behind Levi with the rest of the group in tow.
Mikasa completely blanks his words and helps me up so I'm sitting. I don't look in her eyes even when she places her hands on my arms.
"Eren. Talk to me. You gave us a bit of a shock back then," she says giving me a warm smile. I continue to stare ahead.
She opens her mouth to continue but Krista's scream rips apart the air. I look down at the floor not wanting to see her break down at what I've already seen.
"Oh my God, please no..." she sobs into Ymir's cloak.
Everyone looks over to see what she's on about and gasps and cries begin from everyone. Sasha and Connie kneel beside Krista their mouths hanging open. Even Reiner and Levi show signs of shock. Armin comes back over and stands by Mikasa.
"She might not be dead. She could be okay," he suggests.
"Not now Armin," Mikasa sighs, her eyes saddened. Even she knows better than to look.
I glance up towards Levi who stares at me with almost pity.
"I think we all need a break Captain."
Thanks for reading guys. Going to be a surprise in the next chapter and sadly we will lose a few characters.
The surprise isn't much of a surprise to be honest because it's what the whole stories about considering this isn't even the main part of it yet. Levi fans will like the next one because there's a part from his point of view too.
Also Sorry for making Reiner such as Ass, I couldn't imagine any of the other characters being mean to Mikasa so he was unfortunately the victim of my writing...
Reviews and tips are welcome as always :)