Disclaimer: I still do not own Supernatural, even though I really want to

I heard mumbling before waking up the next morning. Sam and Dean were attempting to quietly talk. It didn't work. I sat up on the couch, glancing at the clock; six fifty-three. I rubbed my eyes. "How'd you sleep?" I moaned quietly as I stood up from the couch. My back cracked a few times. I stretched; my joints continued to crack. "Got any coffee?" Sam stood up from where he sat, handing me a cup. I held my head as I sat down at the little table in the kitchen. "When can I go back?"

"Eight, I think," Sam answered me; I nodded. Before leaving; I needed to take a shower and clean up a little bit. "You mind?" I asked, pointing towards the bathroom. Sam shook his head, both gestured for me to continue. I nodded again as I continued to the bathroom. I turned the shower on to a rather hot temperature. I slipped out of my clothing and stepped in. The hot water ran down my body as my mind raced. I thought about yesterday, yelling at Sam, punching Dean, seeing Diana like that, falling asleep thinking of happier times. My mind then trained on Dean. The only reason I was able to sleep was due to Dean. He reminded me of home, of a better time, of a time when I actually felt safe.

There was no way that I would admit that, not out loud at least. I lost track of time during my shower, thinking about Dean. I was wrong about the Winchester boys before. I thought back to the time before I knew who they really were. The night we drank together. The day they left. The flirting. The kiss. I went back to that moment. Feeling Dean so close to me, his chest against mine. His hands on my sides, around my waist, the softness of his lips, his scent. I snapped back to reality by a banging on the bathroom door. "Duncan, you okay in there?" Dean's voice questioned. "Yeah, I'll be out in a minute," I stated as I quickly finished.

I stepped out into the rug outside the shower. It was soft and warm against the worn soles of my feet. Absent-minded I got dressed. For the first time in weeks, my mind did not rush. I stood, not sure what to do next. I knew I had to go to the hospital. I had to be there for Diana, but somehow, I couldn't work up the nerve. Almost as if something were holding me back. Something that didn't want me to save my sister. I shook clean of this 'not wanting to be there' feeling, and left the bathroom. I knew we still had some time before the hospital allowed visitors, but I wanted to be there. I needed to be there. I tried to calm myself down enough to wait a few more hours.

I sat on one of the beds for a short time, a half an hour at the most. I couldn't sit still; I didn't want to be inside anymore. I needed to get away, clear my mind. "Dean, mind driving me back to the car? I need to get a few things." Dean looked at me, confused, but nodded. We rode in silence; nothing needed to be said. A little while later we pulled up to the warehouse and the car. I thanked Dean before getting out of the car. "What do you need out of there anyway?" He questioned as he followed me to the trunk of the car. I didn't answer him as he stood next to me, gazing into the arsenal we had in the trunk.

"How many guns do you have?" He questioned as I took inventory. In the trunk, not a single thing was out of place. "There's more," I stated as I slammed the trunk closed. Opening up the back door, I lifted up the seat, an upgrade I made long time ago. Sitting underneath the seat were two sniper rifles along with some ammo. "Why?" Dean asked, shaking his head. "Because, you never know when you are going to need this." I stated picking up my CheyTac M-200, along with a mag. I needed to clear my head. This is the only way I know how to do it.

I glanced at Dean before locking the car and walking into the woods behind the huge warehouse. A few miles away from ears, I set up. Dean trailed behind me, not sure what he should do. Lying on the ground, I patted the place next to me. Silently, he laid on his stomach next to me, waiting. "You ever been in a place that you don't know what to do? So you do what you do know? Well, I am in that spot right now," I stated as I scanned the area. "You might want to cover your ears," I suggested before taking my first shot. A few hundred yards away a tree shivered; birds flew away, animals ran for their life. I took a few more shots. I needed a little more practice before taking on any more big jobs. Dean stayed quiet the whole time, quite a new thing for him. "We should get going, before someone calls the police or something." I stated, getting up from the dirty ground and brushing myself off.

We walked back down to the car in silence. I placed the gun back underneath the seat. I checked my watch before getting into the car. If I left now, I would be able to get to the hospital just in time for visiting hours. "Thanks again, Dean, for everything." I slightly nodded, giving him a hug. I really didn't want him to go, I didn't want to leave, but I have been enough of a burden already. "Tell Sam I said thanks for all his help. Don't worry about Diana and I, we'll get through it. We always do." I smiled, he didn't object. I gave him a slight kiss on the cheek before getting into the car and driving off. A part of me was happy Dean didn't stop me, another part wish that he had. I got to the hospital at just the right time.

I happened to run into Diana's doctor. He explained that over the night, not much has happened. "Doc, is there any way that she could be transferred? Perhaps to a hospital closer to home?"

"She is stable enough to move, I would have to pull a few strings though." I nodded him and thanked him before going to Diana's room. From yesterday, she has not moved. I sat next to her, talking to her, holding her hand. I told her about what happened; that she may get transferred to another hospital. Halfway through my talk, I brushed a piece of hair out her face. "I love you, Diana, I need you to know that." I rubbed the top of her hand, giving her a kiss on the cheek. In a split moment the walls came crashing down. I didn't know what to do. Everything started to flood back.

Why could I not save her? Why did I let her go into the warehouse? Why did we take this job? Why did I let her talk me into doing this in the first place? Why did Mom teach us this? Why did Mom leave us? Why did Mom tell me to take care of her? Why couldn't she be here to take care of her own daughter? Why did she leave all the responsibility to me? Why did she have to believe in the Tru'ng twins? Why couldn't she just leave all this alone? She was smart enough to know this wouldn't end well. Why did she let us do this? To be strong? To learn how to take care of ourselves? To take care of those who needed it? Why did Diana have to be the one? It should have been me, it should have been me.

Why didn't I protect her like I promised? "Mom was right, I can't do anything right." A tear rolled down my face as I continued to go through all the things wrong with me. "I am sorry Diana. If I knew how to properly protect you, you wouldn't be here right now. I'm so sorry," I continued to sob. I know if she was awake, she would smack me and tell me to stop being a baby. I rubbed her hand, sitting there, quietly sobbing.

I know it is a short chapter, I will have another one up before you know it. Rate and Review! :D