A thought then came to my head, "What does the Big Guy eat, since he doesn't eat humans?"
"But if you don't eat people like all the other giants," Sophie said. "Then what do you live on?"
"That is a squelching tricky problem around here," said the Big Guy. "In this sloshflunking Giant Country, happy eats like pineapples and pigwinkles is simply not growing. Nothing is growing except for one extremely icky-poo vegetable. It is called the snozzcumber."
"The snozzcumber!" Sophie and I cried.
"But there's no such thing!" I said.
The Big Guy just looked at us and smiled showing his big teeth.
"Yesterday," he said. "We was not believing in giants, was we? Today we is not believing in snozzcumbers. Just because we happen not to have actually seen something with our own two little winkles, we think it is not existing. What about for instance the great squizzly scotch-hopper?"
"Excuse me?" I asked.
"And the humplecrimp?"
"What's that?" asked Sophie.
"And the wraprascal?"
"What did you say?" I asked.
"The what?" said Sophie.
"And the crumpscoddle?"
"Are they animals?" I asked.
"They is common animals," the BFG said contemptuously. "I is not a very know-all giant myself, but it seems to me that you two is absolutely know-nothing human beans. Your brains is full of rotton-woll."
"You mean cotton-wool," said Sophie.
"What I mean and what I say is two different things," the Big Guy announced rather grandly. "I will now show you a snozzcumber."
The Big Guy opened a massive cupboard and he pulled out the weirdest-looking thing Sophie and I had ever seen in our lives. It was about half as long as a normal human man. It was very thick than an ordinary cucumber. Instead of looking dark green on the outside, it was black with white stripes along the length, and it was covered with coarse knobbles.
"Here is the repulsant snozzcumber!" the BFG cried as he waved the mighty object. "I squoggle it! I mispise it! I dispunge it!" But because I is refusing to gobble up human beans like the other giants, I must spend my life guzzling up icky-poo snozzcumbers instead. If I don't, I will be nothing but skin and groans."
"You mean skin and bones," I said.
"I know it is bones," the BFG said. "But please understand that I cannot be helping it if I sometimes is saying things a little squiggly. I is trying my very best all the time." He looked at me as if I hurt his feelings.
"I'm sorry," I said as I looked down in shame. "I didn't mean to be rude."
"There never was any schools to teach me talking in Giant Country," the BFG said sadly.
"But couldn't your mother have taught you?" asked Sophie.
"My mother!" The BFG cried as his yells shook the jars, it made me jumpy. "Giants don't have mothers! Surely you is knowing that."
"I did not know that," Sophie said feeling embarrassed.
"Whoever heard of a woman Giant!" shouted the BFG, waving the snozzcumber around his head like a lasso. "There never was a woman giant! And there never will be one! Giants is always men!"
I was surprised that the Big Guy didn't have a mother like Sophie and I, I never thought about Giantesses existing in Giant Country.
"Well no offense Big Guy," I slowly blushed as I tried to speak. "Some Giantesses do exist in stories, but I never thought they would exist here."
"None," he said.
I saw Sophie feeling a little muddled. "In that case," she said. "How were you born?"
"Giants isn't born," he answered. "Giants appears and that's all there is to it. They simply appears, the same way as the sun and the stars."
"And when did you appear?" asked Sophie.
"Now how on earth could I be knowing a thing like that?" said the BFG. "It was so long ago I couldn't count."
"You mean," I could not believe my ears. "You don't know how old you are?"
I was very shocked, I assume he looked to be around a hundred years old, but I rather not ask him that question.
"No giant is knowing that," the BFg said. "All I is knowing about myself is that I is very old, very very old and crumply. Perhaps as old as the earth."
"What happens when a giant dies?" Sophie asked.
"Giants is never dying," he said.
"They don't?" I was surprised.
"Sometimes and quite suddenly, a giant is disappearing and nobody is ever knowing where he goes to. But mostly us giants is simply going on and on like whiffsy time-twiddlers."
The BFG was still holding the snozzcumber in his right hand and he put the end of it into his mouth and bit off a huge chunk. He then started to crunch it up and the noise he made was like the crunching of lumps of ice.
"What does it taste like Big Guy?" I asked as he chewed it.
"It's filthing!" the BFG spluttered, talking with his mouth full and he sprayed large pieces of snozzcumber like bullets towards Sophie and I. We hopped out of the way on the table-top to avoid getting slobbered. I guess he doesn't have good table manners, yuck and that vegetable smells really bad!
"It's disgusterous!" the BFG gurgled. "It's sickable! It's rotsome! It's maggotwise! Try it yourself, this foulsome snozzcumber!"
"No, thank you," Sophie said as she backed away.
"Um, I'm not hungry," I said.
"It's all you two are going to be guzzling around here from now on so you two might as well get used to it," he said. "Go on, you snipsy little winkles, have a go!"
Sophie and I took small pieces and we nibbled on them.
"Uggggggh!" Sophie spluttered. "Oh no! Oh gosh! Oh help!" she immediately spat it out. "It tastes like frogskins and rotten fish!"
"Blech!" I cried. Like Sophie did, I spat out the snozzcumber in disgust. "That's disgusting! It tastes like garbage and rotten banana peels."
"Worse than that!" cried the BFG, roaring with laughter at what we think the snozzcumber tastes like. "To me it is tasting of clockcoaches and slimewanglers!"
"All of a sudden," I made a serious face. "I just lost my appetite."
"Do we really have to eat it?" asked Sophie.
"You do unless you two is wanting to become so thin you will be disappearing into a thick ear."
"Into thin air," said Sophie. "A thick ear is something quite different."
All of a sudden the Big Guy frowned sadly at his ability to not speaking properly.
"Words," he said. "Is oh such a twitch-tickling problem to me all my life. So you two must simply try to be patient and stop squibbling. As I am telling you before, I know exactly what words I am wanting to say, but somehow or other they is always getting squiff-squiddled around."
"That happens to everyone," Sophie said.
"You're not the only one who has trouble with their speech," I said.
"Not like it happens to me," the BFG said. "I is speaking the most terrible wigglish."
"I think you speak beautifully," said Sophie.
"You do?" cried the BFG with his eyes brightening. "You really do?"
"We really do love the way you talk Big Guy," I said.
"Simply beautifully," said Sophie as she smiled.
"Well, that is the nicest present anybody is ever giving me in my whole life!" the BFG cried. "Are you sure you two is not twiddling my leg?"
"Of course not," said Sophie. "Like Joanna said, I also just love the way you talk."
"How wondercrump!" cried the BFG, still beaming. "How whoopsey-splunkers! How absolutely squiffling! I is all of a stutter."
"Listen," said Sophie. "We don't have to eat snozzcumbers. In the fields around our village there are all sorts of lovely vegetables like cauliflowers and carrots."
"There are also apples and berries that grows on the farms and near the woods," I said. "Why don't you get some of those the next time you go visiting?"
But the BFG raised his great head proudly in the air. "I is a very honourable giant," he said. "I would rather be chewing up rotsome snozzcumbersthan snitching things from other people."
"You snitched me and Joanna," said Sophie.
"I did not steal you two very much," the BFG said smiling gently. "After all, you two is only tiny little girls."
Sophie and I smiled with him, thinking that nothing bad could happen.
Suddenly, a tremendous voice thumping noise came from outside the cave entrance and a voice like thunder shouted, "Runt! Is you there, Runt? I is hearing you jabbeling! Who is you jabbeling to Runt?"
"Look out!" cried the BFG. "It's the Bloodbottler!" But before he could finish speaking to us, the stone was rolled aside and a fifty-foot giant, more than twice as tall as the BFG, came striding into the cave. He wore a vest made of fur with furry shorts.
"Oh shit!" I muttered.
I saw the nearly parted snozzcumber and dragged Sophie behind it and hid with her.
The enormous giant came in his stomps sounded like the earth shaking and if an earthquake was coming. He then towered over the BFG.
"Who was you jabbeling to Runt?" he boomed. "You has something in here?"
"I is jabbeling to myself," the BFG answered. "I has got nothing."
"Pilfflefizz!" The Bloodbottler shouted as he were a hurricane. His shouting was more louder than the BFG's yells. "You is talking to human beans, that's what I is thinking!"
"No, no!" cried the BFG.
"Yus, yus!" boomed the Bloodbottler. "I is guessing you has snitched away a human bean and brought it back to your bunghole as a pet! I is guessing you has another. So I is winkling them out and guzzling them as extra snacks before my supper!"
The Big Guy looked very nervous, "There's n-no one in here," he stammered. "W-why don't you l-leave me alone?"
The Bloodbottler pointed his enormous finger at the BFG. "Runty little scumscrewer!" he shouted. "Piffling little swishfiggler! Squimpy little bottlewart! Prunty little pogswizzler! I is now going to search the primroses!" He grabbed the BFG by the arm "And you is going to help me do it. Us together is going to winkle out this tasteful little human beans!"
The BFG had intended to whisk Sophie and Joanna and hid them behind his back, but he didn't get the chance to do it.
We peeped around the edge of the snozzcumber and we held in our gasps at the sight! The Bloodbottler was really ugly! His skin was reddish-brown like auburn hair, there was black hair sprouting on his chest, arms, and stomach. The hair on his head was long and red and tangled, even his beard. His foul face was the most disgusting sight ever, it was square and intimidating. The eyes were tiny black holes. The nose was indeed large. But his mouth was the most gruesome of all, it was the biggest I ever saw in my life. It stretched from ear to ear, and the lips were as purple as plums and lay on top of each other. His teeth were yellow and crooked and stuck out from his lips. Rivers of saliva were following down over his chin.
I never thought a giant as ugly as the Bloodbottler could go out to Earth every night to swallow men, women, and children.
The Bloodbottler, still holding the BFG by the arm, was examining the rows and rows of bottles.
"You and your pibbling bottles!" he shouted. "What is you putting in them?"
"Nothing that would interest you," the BFG answered. "You is only interested in guzzling human beans."
"And you is dotty as a bogswoggler!" cried the Bloodbottler.
We knew that if the Bloodbottler came to the table, he'll find us and eat us. But the table was too high, and if we jump off we'd break our legs.
"We have to find a place to hide Sophie," I mouthed the words, so the Bloodbottler would not hear me. I looked at the snozzcumber and noticed that it was thick as a perambulator, but that ugly giant will pick it up and find us. We have to find a better place to hide. I then noticed that the snozzcumber has seeds in the middle, I started to dig them out and once there was room, Sophie went first and I came in after her. It was wet and slimy, but hopefully it will save us from getting eaten, we kept still and held our breaths.
The Bloodbottler and the BFG were coming towards the table now. The BFG was about to faint with fear. He told himself, any moment Sophie and Joanna would be discovered and eaten.
I watched as the Bloodbottler picked up the other half-eaten snozzcumber. The BFG looked anxiously at the table trying to find us.
"So this is the filthing rotsome glubbage you is eating?" boomed the Bloodbottler, as he held the other half piece of the snozzcumber. "You must be cockles to be guzzling such rubbsquash!"
It looks like the Bloodbottler must have forgotten about us. If only the BFG could get him out of here.
"That is the scrumdiddlyumptious snozzcumber," he said. "I is guzzling it gleefully every night and day. Is you never trying a snozzcumber, Bloodbottler?"
"Human beans is juicier," the Bloodbottler said.
"You is talking rommytot," the BFG said. If he could get the Bloodbottler to eat the snozzcumber, then he would run out of the cave in disgust. "I is happy to let you sample it. But please, when you see how truly glumptious it is, do not be guzzling the whole thing. Leave me a little snitchet for my supper."
The Bloodbottler was very suspicious, with the snozzcumber.
Sophie began to tremble at the thought, and I held her close to calm her down.
"You is not switchfiddling with me, is you?" said the Bloodbottler.
"Never!" cried the BFG passionately. "Take a bite and I am positive you will be shouting out oh how scrumdiddlyumptious this wonderveg is!"
The BFG could see the greedy Bloodbottler's mouth beginning to water more than ever at the prospect of extra food.
"Vegetibbles is very good for you," the Big Guy said. "It is not healthsome always to be eating meaty things."
"Just this once," The Bloodbottler said. "I is going to taste these rotsome eats of yours. But I is warning you that if it is filthsome, I is smashing it over your sludgy little head!"
Sophie and I felt the snozzcumber was being lifted up higher and higher into the air. Sophie was about to open her mouth to yell, but she covered it or it would cause a certain death.
I could see the mouth opening wide and the large teeth chomping down on the snozzcumber. Suddenly everything was dark, and it was wet and slimy. I was lying on the Bloodbottler's tongue, and I was close to the uvula. I looked down and I saw his throat leading down to his stomach, I tried to scramble away from the uvula, but it was so slippery. My feet were dangling near the end of his tongue.
I spotted Sophie lying in a pile of smashed snozzcumber.
Not to mention that being in a mouth was disgusting, but it smells so gross in here! His breath smelled like bad meat. Giving up, I laid near the end of his throat, and prayed I would be swallowed and land in his belly to be digested.
"Eeeeeowtch!" roared the Bloodbottler. His voice caused me to shake in shock. "Ughbwelch! Ieeeech!" All off a sudden I saw his lips pressing together and then a blast of air blew me out, I saw light around me. I saw Sophie flying in the air with me across the cave with the lumps of snozzcumber flying in the air. Sophie landed on the folds of the BFG's cloak and she slid to the ground and hid behind the hem and crouched still. I grabbed the edge of the hood and I crawled in there and stayed still.
I peeped my eyes to watch what would happen to the BFG.
"You little swinebuggler!" The Bloodbottler roared. "You little pigswiller!" He rushed at the BFG and smashed the snozzcumber over his head. Fragments of the snozzcumber splashed around the cave. I immediately ducked and held my breath.
"Is you not loving it?" the BFG asked innocently as he rubbed his head.
"Loving it?" roared the Bloodbottler. "That is the more disgusterous taste that is ever touching my teeth! You must be buggles to be swalloping slutch like that! Every night you could be galloping off happy as a hamburger and gobbling juicy human beans!"
"Eating human beans is wrong and evil," the BFG said.
"It is guzzly and glumptious!" the Bloodbottler's shouting was louder than ever, hurting my eardrums. "And tonight I is galloping off to Chile to swobble a few Chile human beans. Is you wishing to know why I is choosing Chile?"
"I is not wishing to know anything," The BFG said, very dignified.
"I is choosing Chile," the Bloodbottler said. "Because I is fed up with the taste of Esquimos. It is important I has plenty of cold eats in this scuddling hot weather, and the next coldest thing to an Esquimo is a Chile bean. Human beans from Chile is very chilly."
"Horrible," the BFG said glaring at the towering giant. "You ought to be ashamed."
"Other giants is all saying they is wanting to gallop off to England tonight to guzzle school-childdlers. I is very fond indeed of English school chiddlers. They has a nice inky-booky flavor. Perhaps will change my mind and go to England with them."
"You is disgusting," The BFG said filled with hate for the bully.
"And you is an insult to the giant peoples!" shouted the Bloodbottler. "You is not fit to be a giant! You is a squinky little squiddler! You is a pebbling little pitsqueak! You is a… cream puffnut!"
The Bloodbottler then stormed out of the BFG's cave and knocked down a few shelves. I sighed in relief that he's gone.
The BFG rolled the stone back and his back slid against it and sighed in relief.
"Sophie?" he whispered as he looked around for us. "Joanna?" Where is you two?"
I looked down to see Sophie coming from underneath the cloak.
"I'm here," she said.
The BFG came over and picked up Sophie and held her tenderly in the palm of his hand. "Oh I is so happy to be finding you in one lump!" he said.
"Joanna and I were in his mouth," said Sophie.
"You two was what!" cried the BFG then he remembered. "But wait, where's Joanna?"
"Up here!" I called as I waved in the hood. "I'm in the hood!"
The Big Guy came over to his cloak and with his other hand picked me up and carried me over to the table with Sophie.
"Where was you two hiding? How did you get into his mouth?"
"We were hiding in the snozzcumber," I said. "We knew the Bloodbottler would find us on the table, so I thought we'd hide in the snozzcumber. Until he picked it up and ate it, he almost swallowed me, but he spat us out."
"And there I was telling him to eat the fithsome snozzcumber and you two was all the time inside it!" The BFG cried.
"Not much fun," Sophie said as I sighed.
"It was probably my fault, I almost got myself and Sophie killed," I turned to Sophie. "I'm so sorry Sophie, we shouldn't have hide in the snozzcumber, I feel terrible."
"It's okay Joanna," Sophie said as she hugged me. "If it wasn't for the snozzcumber, we would have been really goners."
"Yuck!" I cried, as my nightgown was soaked in saliva and snozzcumber crumbs. "I've always wondered what it's like to be inside a mouth. But I don't think I ever want to go in another giant's mouth again."
"Just look at you, you poor little chiddlers!" The Big Guy cried. "You two is all covered in snozzcumber and giant spit!"
The BFG carried us over to a faucet and he turned it on and water started to pour. He held us under there and the water felt chilly! But the liquid cleaned the snozzcumber bits and saliva off our nightgowns. The BFG turned it off and wrapped us in a small dishcloth. We then felt better.
"I is hating those other giants more than ever now," he said. "You know what I should like?"
"What?" asked Sophie.
"What would you want to do with these monsters?" I asked.
"I should like to find a way of disappearing them, every single one."
"I'd be glad to help you," said Sophie.
"I like your idea, I wish these other giants didn't exist at all," I said.
"Let me see if Joanna and I can't think up a way of doing it," said Sophie.